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Chapter Text

Jayfeather stirred in his nest, recognising the draw of a dream—no, not a dream, but a vision. He used to easily discern the difference between the two, until a lifetime of both blurred the border so that even the light of StarClan began to slip into his lonesome slumber.

He left his body in his nest, along with his aches and weariness, stepping out into the camp. His pelt fluffed as he picked up Leafpool’s scent. Even after moons in StarClan, she still smelled a little bit like dandelions.

“You look tired.” The starlit glow of her body warmed him as she ran her tail down his spine.

“I’m always tired,” Jayfeather muttered. “What is it? You never come down here.” He sighed, and then added more gently, “I’m glad you’re here.”

“It’s good to see you,” Leafpool agreed, not paying any mind to his prickliness. “I know you don’t like us padding in your dreams, but I needed to meet you like this.”

Where other StarClan cats can’t eavesdrop. Jayfeather turned to face his mother, pale blue eyes gleaming.

“A favour. A quest? By StarClan, tell me that’s not what you want. I’m not about to throw myself into one irresponsible misadventure after another. Alderheart doesn’t even have an apprentice yet.”

Leafpool purred in amusement. “About that...”

Jayfeather flattened his ears, and pulled them away before she could groom them in retaliation. Even in StarClan, she’d not outgrown her motherly habits. “If it’s time for him to take on an apprentice, why bother me about it?”

With his ears well out of reach, she licked down her front instead. “You’d spend a moon sulking if you weren’t the first to know.” Before he could retort, she came closer again. “He will need your guidance, but right now there is a cat that needs you even more.”

“I’m not going to like this, am I?” he dared to ask.

“No, you’re not,” she replied, “but you’ll do it. Not because it could change the future for medicine cats, but because I know you want to see him happy.”

Jayfeather drew his claws through the ground, but the animosity just wasn’t there. His whiskers curled up into a half-smile as he remembered each time they’d butted heads. “It was easier to win an argument with you before you joined StarClan.”

“It’s never easy with you, but I know you love it that way.”

Leafpool led him out of the medicine den and away from the camp. Their paws came light upon the moonlit paths, the experience of one lifetime and the wisdom of the next leaving nothing hidden to them. She took him over hill and stream, through thorn and up the edge of the border. The light of Silverpelt felt distant and cold, so far from his dreaming self.

The older medicine cat lifted her head towards the stars and spoke, though her voice sounded distant now. “Poppyfrost—she was Poppypaw, then—once asked me a question. It was an innocent question, but one I wish our StarClan had the courage to ask. ‘Who heals the healers?’” The brown tabby drew herself up with such stubborn pride she must have inherited from her father. “You already have the answer in your heart. You’ll do what’s right.”

A gray she-cat lay just beyond the border in a make-shift nest. The perfume of her twoleg’s den still clung to her fur, masked beneath dirt, wet grass, and exhaustion. She quivered in place, as he would expect a kittypet in the wild to do, but her fear did not drive her away. It planted her in place, sleepless, seeking answers in the silent forest. Jayfeather remembered this cat, like he remembered every cat with whom he’d had to share a den for any length.

Velvet.

Jayfeather turned to Leafpool with a lash of his tail. “No.”

The brown tabby hung her head. “Please, just listen to what I have to say.”

“We don’t get everything we want in life,” says Jayfeather, “but our family lives on. Our clan is strong. What’s passed is passed, but what you’re suggesting would rip open old wounds and new.”

“Nothing is going to change unless we change it,” Leafpool snapped back. “We dedicated our lives to interpreting the will of StarClan. Well, I am StarClan now. I have so many regrets, but if I could do one thing—one thing—it would be to help make a future where no cat had to abandon their heart. There was room enough in mine for all of you, and all of the clan.” She brought her face close to his. “If you say you really disagree, you’ll wake up and we’ll forget all about it.”

Jayfeather’s lips curled back, exposing his gritted teeth. Her mother’s grief echoed his own, and the bitter taste of his own upbringing lingered in his throat like bile. “What gives us the right to make this decision, when it could damn them both? What happens to the clan? What happens to Alderheart if they don’t--”

“I’ll take responsibility,” Leafpool replied before he could drive himself any deeper into his fervor. “And if I did, I would be the first StarClan cat to do so.”

“No.” Jayfeather repeated the curt response, then continued before Leafpool could renew her plea. “It’s my decision. If they can stand before me, after we’ve given to them, after all we’ve done… and deign to cast us down… then they can do it to my face.”

Leafpool’s purr was faint but still felt like it could move the earth. She did what she always did when she couldn’t find the words, and pressed her forehead against Jayfeather’s. The sensation grew fuzzy and far away, drifting into the faint tickle of the moss inside of his nest.

* * *

Why am I doing this to myself? thought Velvet.  She wound herself so tight into her bed of grass that she nearly tied her fur into the still-damp blades. Her ears stayed trained to the forest, counting every scratch and sway amongst the branches. She wasn’t waiting for a patrol—they wouldn’t come this far out without reason—but for the pang in her heart to give her the answers she needed.

This is just a fantasy. Everyone is going to get hurt if I stay here.

The same decision she’d made countless moons ago, one she had tried everything to put behind her, scratched at her again like a burr in her pelt. She squeezed her eyes shut, letting out a long sigh before pushing herself to her feet. “I’m sorry, Alderheart,” she murmured. “It really was goodbye.”

She untangled herself from the grass and made to depart, padding just a few tail lengths before she heard the sound of paw steps racing after her. The she-cat spun around, shocked to find a grizzled gray tabby practically stomping across the green.

“… Jayfeather?” she tilted her head to the side, then shook her pelt out. Was she dreaming?

“Velvet.” He acknowledged her, sitting on his haunches. For a moment only the sound of the chill breeze surrounded them both. She stared at him a bit longer and then let out an amused purr.

“You look like an old goat.”

“What?”

“It’s a creature with hoofs, and your chin, it--” she shook her head again. “Never mind. What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here, on my territory?” Jayfeather tore up a wad of grass and threw it into the wind. He didn’t even dignify an answer to the question. “Why have you come? I thought you were happier with your twolegs.”

“I am! I… was.” Velvet looked away, grief welling up in her again. “I have new twolegs now, but it’s not the same.”

“You thought you could come here,” Jayfeather continued, rolling his eyes, “and maybe join ThunderClan. Maybe live a different life in the wild?”

“I know.” Velvet laughed. “It’s stupid. I’ll… go back now.” She held her breath a moment, casting a long look into the shadows of the trees. “Before I do, can you tell me if he’s doing okay? If he’s happy?”

“Why don’t you come and see for yourself?”

Velvet whipped around again, wide-eyed. An invitation was the last thing she expected, least of all from the cat who seemed to do nothing but wedge himself between her and Alderheart at every opportunity. She searched him for some sign of malice or anger, but could find no cruel jest.

The possibilities she’d dreamed of burst from her at the first hint of reality. “Are you serious? I would... I can’t! You know how we felt back then. Unless...” She blinked. “Something is different now. If it hadn’t, you wouldn’t be here asking me.”

Jayfeather grunted. “It won’t be easy,” he said, “and it won’t be a sure thing. It’ll make trouble for all of us, but it’ll be especially hard for you. You’re still a kittypet, and that’s all some clan cats will ever see you as.”

But not how you see me. Not how he saw me.

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry much.” said Velvet, raising her paw and rasping her tongue through her fur. “If I explain myself as ‘one of the kittypets who got under Jayfeather’s pelt some moons back,’ I think I might find a friend or two.”

“Please, keep convincing me to leave you here,” Jayfeather grumbled. If Velvet didn’t know any better, she could swear she heard the slightest bit of affection in his jab. “I’d like to get back to my nest and out of the cold already.”

“All right.”

Velvet put one foot forward, the weight of it rooting her in place for a moment. She’d already said goodbye to Fuzzball, but now the gravity of those goodbyes shrouded over her in their entirety. Each step came only a little easier than the last.

I’m going to miss you! Fuzzball had said. But if they let you in, you’ll make a good warrior. Not as good as me, of course, but still really good! I’ll have to come by and say hello once I’m sure my twolegs will be okay.

The sound of Velvet’s laughter broke their solemn march back into the forest. Jayfeather glanced over his shoulder, flicking his tail. “What now?”

“Fuzzball told me to say hello to you,” she said. “He misses you, you know, but he’s happy. He’s home.”

Jayfeather paused just long enough to nod once. “Good,” he said, and then did not speak again the whole way back to camp.

* * *

Velvet was grateful to have Jayfeather as her guide as they returned to the gorge. It could have been her own nerves, but her whiskers twitched at a solemn static that hung over the camp. The same suspicious haze clouded Cherryfall’s eyes as she stopped them just on the other side of the thorn barrier.

“What is she doing here?” the she-cat demanded.

Jayfeather sniffed and turned his head towards her. “When StarClan wants you to know, you’ll know,” he replied. “Is Bramblestar still in camp?”

“He’s up in his den.”

The medicine cat nodded, a curt thank-you before he urged Velvet on with the tip of his tail. She hurried on and ducked her head down. No one else blocked their path, and Cherryfall, despite her suspicion, did not question Jayfeather’s answer. Before long they were standing in front of the dangling brambles that covered the entrance to the medicine den.

“Well?” Jayfeather said. “Go on.”

Velvet blinked and looked up from her paws. Jayfeather’s command left no room for hesitation, no minutes to scuff her paws and question her decisions, and she hurried through the vines.

I wouldn’t put it past him to scruff me like a kit if I test his patience

Alone in the medicine den, she fell awash in a perfume of yarrow, catmint, and countless other herbs, sending her back years to the first time Alderheart led her into the den, working tirelessly to restore her and so many other cats to health.

Jayfeather’s smell struck her first, present and familiar. For a moment she thought she could pick out Leafpool’s scent, but the kind she-cat’s presence faded into the earthy background of the cave. Then she picked out Alderheart’s scent from the back of the den. She breathed it in deep, letting it fill her, and then squirmed in her pelt when she realized what she was doing.

Don’t just stand there like a starstruck kit.

She shook her head and pushed deeper into the den, only to freeze again when she heard someone stirring in front of her. As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she caught sight of Alderheart rousing in his nest. His whiskers raised, then his nose twitched. He stirred and murmured something before stretching out his fluff to full length.

Velvet’s heart pounded as she stared at the tom, watching his eyelids drift open.

Alderheart looked bleary-eyed back at her. For a moment, her face flushed with heat. She must have looked a mess, and smell even worse, a terrible mix of autumn litter and the remnants of her twoleg home still steeped into her ungroomed fur.

Does he even recognise me?

How many times they both must have re-imagined meeting again, when they were younger, more foolish and more eager to crash head-first into every mistake. Here, now, they wore the moons that they’d passed through on the outside of their pelts. Even as he pulled himself from his nest, Alderheart carried himself with more certainty—like he belonged in the very place he was standing. Velvet looked at the world with clearer eyes, but even now she could not fathom how he would welcome her back into his.

Her heart squeezed tight as they gazed upon one another, Velvet in the half light peeking through the ivy and Alderheart from the comfort of the shadows. She waited for which of her countless imagined conversations would spring to life, what words either one of them would dare speak to break the spell of their final goodbye. Not even a stammer escaped his lips as he kept repeating the silence that neither could bear.

Alderheart stepped forward, and then broke into a run, practically leaping the distance between them in a few bounds. He wound around her so close and so hard she thought he would knock her over, only to circle around her the other way and right her balance. The smell of his fur, thick as ever with herbs and healing balms, wrapped around her and brought her in.

Velvet turned and pressed her forehead against his. They squeezed their eyes shut, existing together in that moment they thought forfeit to time. Alderheart laughed first, soft little mewls breaking the silence until she laughed too. They shook with the sound, coiling tight about one another.

How many dramatic confessions and poetic interludes played out in her head as she imagined their reunion again and again, but none of them mattered now. The instant he drew around her, she knew everything that he could tell, and knew that he could see the same.

When they finally recovered enough to speak, he opened his eyes and peered into hers. “I can’t believe it’s you.”

“Neither can I.”

“I’ve missed you so, so much...” he mewed. “But why are you here? How?” She could feel his fur fluff up as a deluge of doubts invited themselves into him. She nuzzled at his fur, eager to ward off the same pains that had plagued her for far too long.

“If you’re too mousebrained to figure it out, you’ll have to wait until I’ve finished my nap.” Jayfeather entered the medicine den, regarding the pair with a cool look. “I’ve already had to tell the senior warriors, and Bramblestar took every scrap of patience.”

Alderheart’s eyes widened, and Velvet could feel his pulse race beneath his fur. “I don’t know what to say.”

The elder medicine cat practically threw himself down into his nest, lashing his tail down over his nose. He peered out over the fray at the end, ear flicking towards Alderheart’s nest. “You could start with thanking StarClan.”

The ginger tom’s eyes turned back to Velvet’s. “Of course. And thank you, Jayfeather.”

“If you really want to thank me, you’ll shut your yaps.”

Velvet purred and nudged the big tom’s shoulder forward. “We’ll have plenty of time to talk after sunrise.”

There are too many questions to answer in one night anyway, she thought. We’ll figure it out together, but right now this is what I need.

Alderheart welcomed her into his nest, not for the first time, but just as sweetly. As their tails twined and they held fast in the dark, his gentle purr brought them both to ease. She fought to stay awake in that moment as long as she could, not thinking of where their paws would fall next, but of the kindred spirit next to her.

It’s so easy to come back to you, I’m not sure how I ever left.

Chapter Text

Velvet did not want to leave her nest on waking, and more than once burrowed her face into Alderheart’s fur and shut her eyes tight. Once Jayfeather roused, there would be no lazy morning to follow. To her surprise, though, he did not immediately start barking orders the second he pulled himself from his nest. He took the time to wash himself, and then completed a meticulous inspection of every inch of the den, making sure that he had everything he needed for the days to come.

“ThunderClan knows you’re here, and they’re all very quick to form their own opinions on the matter,” said Jayfeather. “Bramblestar will call a meeting once the sun breaches the treetops. You’re about to find yourself with a great many more friends, and just as many enemies. Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

She could feel the anxious stir of Alderheart at her side, and nodded. “Without a doubt.”

“What did my father say?” Alderheart asked. “I still don’t quite understand.” He made a point to snuggle beside Velvet, as if to say that he did not need to understand in order to appreciate her there.

“It’s better if you hear it from him yourself,” Jayfeather continued, rolling his paw over. “It’s not going to be easy. Are you sure you can handle the attention? The seasons haven’t done much to temper the trust of the clans.”

“I have Alderheart,” Velvet declared, nuzzling against the ginger tom again. “And you, of course.”

Jayfeather’s pale gaze fell then on Alderheart. If he was tender as she remembered, he’d never truly gotten on a clanmate’s bad side. Not everyone, she knew, would accept her into the camp as easily, and it would not be long until the eyes of blame fell on them both.

He gave a simple shake of his head, tail laying itself against Velvet’s. “I would do anything to make this possible. Anything to have you back with us again.”

“The clan still comes first,” said Jayfeather. “That’s a promise you still have to keep.”

“I will,” said Alderheart, “and she’s a part of it now.”

Velvet felt a swell of pride, letting it out in a rumble of contentment. The easy acceptance of the tom made her feel all that the life she’d chosen was the right one, and the idea of facing the rest of her future clan mates didn’t intimidate her quite as much. The courage came just in time as Bramblestar’s voice sounded through the bramble curtain.

“All cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather beneath the high ledge for a clan meeting!”

* * *

“It is a great pleasure to welcome another soul into the clan, whether it be a newborn kit, or the joining of one of our dear friends.” Bramblestar’s speech was diplomatic, if a bit blunt and to the point. “Consider our Daisy, who has for so long been the beating heart of the nursery. Don’t forget Cloudtail, and many of our senior warriors before him. When StarClan sets another cat on our path, we have seen our own flourish. It is with that in mind that I wish to open your hearts to Velvet.”

Bid by an encouraging nudge from Squirrelflight, Velvet stepped into the opening beneath the ledge and stood in front of the clan. She could hear a murmur of recognition ripple through all the cats around her, an uneasy warmth carrying in the air.

“We’ll have to enlarge the nursery,” Bramblestar continued. “Daisy and Fernsong will no doubt appreciate the company, and the extra set of paws after so bountiful a Greenleaf…”

As the bristly tom’s tone lilted off in amusement, she found herself struck by an absence in the ceremony. Feeling the heat of the entire clan’s focus, she lifted her head. “Will you not make me a warrior?”

“A warrior!” Sparkpelt yowled. Alderheart’s littermate pushed to the fore of the gathering so that nothing stood could block her withering stare. “You might have StarClan’s blessing, but you’re not Firestar. Don’t think that his legacy means that we’ll just accept you, collar and all.”

“That’s enough,” said Bramblestar. “I merely thought you had other wishes, Velvet.”

You assumed I wanted nothing else but to be a queen. Yet you know nothing of my life, with or without my twolegs. “If this clan is to be my family, I want to be able to help defend it. The things I care about most…” Her attention turned back to Alderheart, and no one in the camp could have misunderstood the look they shared. “I would do anything to protect them.”

“You’ll need to learn,” said Brambleclaw. “Fortunately, you are spoiled for teachers. Ivypool, will you make a warrior of this one?”

The scarred silver cat narrowed her eyes, unreadable as she studied Velvet. “If she truly has a warrior’s heart, I will find it.”

“Then it is decided. It is not lightly that we extend this opportunity to one outside our clan, but StarClan’s blessing weighs heavily on my decision. Whatever role you have to play, it is good to have you among us again.” Bramblestar paused, the next question falling over the camp like cracking ice. “Will you take a name?”

Should I? Velvet thought. Maybe, but must I…?

Velvet dipped her head. “ThunderClan has accepted cats that have kept their names before. I would like to do the same, and I will prove to you that it makes me no less a warrior.”

Another crack of dissent shot down the crowd. There were plainly those that still believed that ThunderClan’s acceptance was also its weakness.

Bramblestar shrugged and turned his pelt to the wind. “As StarClan wills it. You will still serve your clan as an apprentice, until you are found worthy to carry the warrior creed. Your mentor will be Ivypool, who shall pass down all she knows to you.”

Ivypool parted the crowd, padding up until she stood before Velvet. The two she-cats’ eyes met, tails raised and tips curled. Without a word, she bent down to touch noses to Velvet’s. The depth of her blue eyes drew her into focus, like being sucked into a churning sea while the cats of ThunderClan chanted Velvet, Velvet! Only once did she see Ivypool’s eyes wander to Alderheart, observing patiently from the edge, and then sit in place.

“My sons also tell me that StarClan will be choosing a new apprentice in ThunderClan soon. Indeed, we are fortunate to still have Jayfeather with us, but this knowledge must continue to be passed on.”

“StarClan will reveal them to us when they are ready,” said Jayfeather, dismissing his leader’s remark with a swift snap of his tail.

He’s not planning on going anywhere anytime soon, Velvet mused.

“I am certain that you will make us proud to call you our own,” said Bramblestar. He then began the business of assigning patrols and breaking down hunting duties for the day, as if ThunderClan had just received another bit of news. The whispering did not stop, though, no matter how many times their leader demanded the clan’s attention.

Velvet only hoped they would learn to welcome her as eagerly as they had once before.

* * *

Ivypool was going to kill her.

At least, there were moments where Velvet believed it, when she was alone in the training hollow with the scarred warrior. The tabby insisted that none, not even Bramblestar or Alderheart broached in on their sessions.

If there was no killing intent in the she-cat, her ferocity alone may have made up the difference. So swiftly Ivypool drew a paw into her blind spot, the force of her swipe knocking her onto her side and the follow-up taking the wind out of her.

“I’m never going to learn if you keep going so fast,” Velvet groaned, pushing herself to her paws after she’d caught her breath. She considered asking Alderheart for some herbs to soothe the pain between sessions, but she wouldn’t want to cause him to fret unnecessarily. All apprentices went through the same experiences, and she could handle it too.

Ivypool squared up her stance, lashing her tail once. “It’s not your form we’re trying to temper, it’s your reflexes. A soft cat like you is going to be easy to pick out in a fight, and once you’re bleeding out on the grass you’re just one more distraction for your clanmates.”

Velvet swung her tail the other way, circling opposite of Ivypool. Let’s see how she likes it, then.

She moved first, feinting into a circle and then barreling into Ivypool’s chest, lifting her up and making her dance backwards on her hindpaws. A lesser warrior would have fallen, but she twisted her tail to keep her balance and swung her head down. Velvet winced as he felt the prick of teeth through her scruff, grasping her and throwing her to the side.

“Better,” said Ivypool. “Do you know what you did wrong?”

“The back of my neck was exposed,” Velvet guessed, smoothing her ruff back into place. “If you wanted to, you could have delivered a killing bite.”

“No, your form was fine,” Ivypool replied. “You keep trying to impress me. It’s not going to work, and that isn’t the point of this. The most talented fighters I’ve met didn’t earn my respect. They honed their skills to kill in wild fury or in cold blood, and I have no love for them.”

“Then what is the point?” Velvet sagged. “Am I never going to be a warrior in your eyes?”

Ivypool shook her head and padded closer. “I can’t make you a warrior,” she said, “no more than I can make a young apprentice a warrior. I can show them the way, make them understand what it means, and nurture their heart so that they may one day accept it. You, Velvet, already understand it. The question is whether or not you will accept it.”

Velvet tilted her head uneasily. “How will you know?”

“I’ll know when you know,” Ivypool answered, though it gave Velvet no satisfaction. She circled closer still, though her ears trained towards the pathway back to the camp. “These techniques are used to kill, and I do not teach them lightly. They’re not meant to be used. What I’m teaching you is how to recognize them, and if someone tries to take your life, to put them in their place.”

Ivypool’s ears twitched, and she scented the wind. Finding no other cats on it, she nodded and faced Velvet a third time. “This time, don’t think about winning my approval. You are the one standing between your clanmates and those that would do them harm. Your mate. Your kits. A single claw can sever you from them forever.”

Alderheart…

Ivypool ripped across the ground like lightning. Her pelt shimmered low as she feinted from her charge, only to come in beside Velvet to throw her from her paws once more. As she tottered onto her side, Ivypool pounced, paws splayed and teeth bared in the sunlight.

On the ground and still reeling from the impact, all of Velvet’s vitals were exposed. The threat of losing all she held dear stung her heart, and she twisted herself onto her back. She thrust up her paws with all of her might, catching Ivypool midflight and sent her sailing across the hollow. She did not savor her victory long, the succession of blows and the effort of her maneuver enough to leave her panting where she lay.

Ivypool rose and recovered her breath, after a fit of coughs, and rubbed her claws at her throat. The older she-cat padded forward and helped nudge Velvet onto her feet. “ You’re different, Velvet. Cats of all kinds are going to remind you of that difference to try to get the better of you. Don’t let them make it into your weakness. Let it be your strength.”

Velvet let her mentor bear her weight for a moment longer. “What is your strength?” she asked, purring with exhausted amusement. “Aside from being stacked like a badger.”

Ivypool puffed her whiskers out. “The same as yours. I don’t want anyone following in my paw prints , and I’m sure you don’t want to either . This is our family, and it may have its share of pains in the tail, but it’s ours. As long as you’re ThunderClan in your heart, that’s all that matters to me. ”

She was beginning to understand Ivypool, not from her words, but from what she didn’t say. The tiger-like vigor of her training wasn’t to put Velvet in her place, but driven by the deep love of her family. If only Velvet could pull such strength from herself, in battle or among friends.

I loved my twolegs dearly… and my life before. But I do not hesitate to know that I love you more, and that has what led me back to you.

Her thoughts having quenched her doubt, she gave Ivypool a warm look and said, “I am ThunderClan.”

“Then let’s stop clawing the sod over whether you belong or not, and get back to it,” said Ivypool.

Velvet nodded, taking a moment to groom herself before moving back apace again. “I’m ready.”

* * *

Alderheart felt like every moment conspired to put itself between him and Velvet. If she were not out on yet another training patrol, or assigned her share of tasks around camp, he was adjusting to the task of having his own apprentice. He dared not complain – what would it mean for poor Myrtlepaw, who was doing her best to sort and identify the herbs, if she didn’t think he even wanted her there?

Myrtlepaw had her nose buried in a bundle of bright yellow flowers, her tail twitching with anxious anticipation. “… watermint?”

Alderheart couldn’t respond before both heard Jayfeather snort from the back of the den.

“I guess that’s wrong.” Myrtlepaw sighed. “Sorry.”

“It takes time to learn,” said Alderheart. “I made the same mistake my first day, which is, I am sure, why your elder there is beside himself.”

Jayfeather made no sounds except for the brisk swish of his tail across the ground.

“I have an easier time tracking them by smell,” said Alderheart. “Once you stop thinking about them as leaves and stems, and get to know them... the way they feel, the way they smell and taste, it gets easier. Just spend a little time with this one and think ‘goldenrod.’”

Medicine is far more than just ‘funny leaves’ and ‘pretty flowers,’ Jayfeather had once remarked in his usual gruff dispens ing of wisdom. It was true, though; now whenever he heard a faint scratch in a cat’s throat or felt a certain warmth burrowing under their pelt, he found himself padding towards a sweeter or tangier scent among the herbs, and some moments later would suggest aloud the name.

B ut first, Myrtlepaw would have to learn the names. Alderheart remained at her side, not only eager to cool Jayfeather’s fie r y rhetoric as Leafpool had once done for him , but also because he couldn’t help but take pride in her progress. Where she saw mistakes and fear of failure , he saw her potential grow day by day. He remembered too clearly the path that he’d walk to become the healer he was today, and loved knowing that the same knowledge would be passed on again, and again, all through the story of the clan.

He became so intent on watching his apprentice that he didn’t notice Velvet enter the den until her scent overpowered that of the medicine, and then looked up with wide and eager eyes. She was bearing most of her weight on her left paw, and her fur was ragged from collar to tail. A few drops of fresh blood stained the back of her ear. She barely managed to put down the pair of fresh mice before he bowled into her, nosing through her fur and checking to make sure she was okay.

“You should see Ivypool,” Velvet purred. “I didn’t come for a checkup, I came to see if you and Myrtlepaw had eaten yet. I don’t suppose you have?”

“We’ve been busy cleaning out the stock.” Myrtlepaw ducked her head as her stomach growled, rumbling at the scent of food.

“Very kind of you,” said Jayfeather. “I suppose I’ll have to drag myself out to the fresh kill pile if I want something.”

Velvet leaned against Alderheart, content to let the tom groom her fur. He never seemed to rasp too hard at her, despite his size. “There are still a few pieces left, if you’d like me to go back…”

“I can take care of myself.” Jayfeather sniffed. “Actually. Why don’t you take Alderheart up to the old twoleg nest? I can handle Myrtlepaw for a while… if she can handle me.”

Myrtlepaw looked up from her half-destroyed mouse, whiskers glistening with the still-warm blood of the prey. She licked her jaws and gulped. “Alderheart doesn’t usually go on hunting patrols.”

“He can go on this one,” Jayfeather replied icily, flicking his tail once. “Why don’t you check on the catmint while you’re at it? You’ll be of much better use doing something that’s not crowding my paws.”

Alderheart glanced at Velvet to confirm his suspicions. The two of them had spent barely a minute alone together ever since she’d started her apprenticeship, and already he could feel the youthful anxiousness returning to their paws. It took all they had not to run through the bramble wall together that very second.

“I’ll see if we can pick some of the older leaves,” Alderheart added helpfully, before turning away.

“Make sure to tell Ivypool I sent you,” Jayfeather reminded them.

Velvet dipped her head. “I will,” she said, adding more softly, “thank you.”

Jayfeather flicked an ear. He must have caught the whispered gratitude, for his tail curled and lashed in short little sweeps. Alderheart knew that meant he was embarrassed, and decided not to tease him further. As they left, he overheard Myrtlepaw chatting away to Jayfeather.

“Why did Alderheart look so worried? She was barely even hurt. My brother gets more beat up trying to chase crickets around the camp…”

“If you want to know about all the fluff rolling around between your clanmates’ ears, talk to Poppyfrost. Now come over here and I’ll show you how I keep the cache organized...”

* * *

So plentiful were the bounties of Greenleaf that the lasting parch did not wither the forests of the lake. Alderheart and Velvet hunted along the way, and while neither took to the task with particular guile, they still managed to tuck aside a pair of mice and a songbird to bring home for their troubles. Before long they found themselves approaching the edge of the hollowed house where Jayfeather kept his makeshift garden.

Alderheart hesitated at the sight of the ancient construction. “It doesn’t remind you of your old life, does it?”

“Not really…” Velvet padded passed him, looking over the dilapidated gutters along the sagging roof. A thick layer of moss had grown into place and ran down into wild grass that had begun to take over even the interior of the former home. “My house was a bit smaller, and a bit nicer, after all. I do feel a little sad thinking about it… but I don’t want to forget about it, either. Not that I expect many of our clanmates would be interested in ‘kittypet’ life.”

Alderheart shook his head. “Some would,” he said. “I would.”

Velvet purred. “Another time,” she promised. “Many times. Right now, I just want to be with you.”

The ginger tom’s fur fluffed up, and he glanced from side to side as if trying to find the right words to answer hers. When he found none, he walked beside her so that their pelts brushed. Their tails twined as they walked the rest of the way to the little garden, the purrs of their contentment nearly thunderous.

A ring of dark soil and stones surrounded the plot where the catmint grew, protected from the ever-flourishing growth that worked its way into all things. The scent wreathing the stand of herbs did little to encourage the cats to work, and for a little while they paced and stared about the shelter with no ends in mind.

Then with a reluctant sigh, Alderheart peeled himself from Velvet’s side to investigate the catmint. There were new shoots to protect, and older stems that would be better spent—according to Jayfeather’s stern lecturing—on taking them back to the den early. While Alderheart selected his takings, Velvet followed the source of another sharp scent.

“You kept the thyme I gave you.” She brushed her nose over one of the stiff little leaves. “It’s doing well.”

Alderheart lowered his head. “Whenever I saw it, I thought of you… I couldn’t bare the thought of losing it. I missed you so much.”

Velvet licked the back of his ear, and helped him tidy up the garden. Between the herbs and the prey, they would have their mouths full heading back to camp. Neither declared the end of their ‘hunt,’ even though the sun was falling and they had found their quarry. If there was time to take together, Velvet would ensure that they made the most of it.

“Where’s that flower field you once took me to?” Velvet curled her tail, looking back over her shoulder to Alderheart. He was not the sort of tom to assume intention from a cat’s gaze alone, but she took no small pleasure in inviting him this way. “Won’t you show it to me again?”

“O-of course!” Alderheart nodded. “Help me gather these, and I’ll lead the way.”

The pair loped back along the road, and then the forest, leaving the herbs tucked in the hollow of a tree before going continuing their journey. Though it was not far from camp, it took them along a winding trail through the brush, beyond the ridge and to a higher break in the canopy just before the wood opened up to the lake.

A halo of cloudy blue circled above the glade, mirroring the ring of ferns and flowers within. The soil felt soft under their paws, and there was scant evidence of any other creature, be it cat, or mouse, or even fox, moving carelessly through the wave of violet blossoms. Velvet padded forward and drew a deep breath.

“It’s as lovely as I remembered it,” she said. “And there are so many places like it in the wild.”

Alderheart nodded and followed after her. “We don’t live this way just because we reject life with the twolegs,” he said. “When I was younger, I thought I might have been too soft to stay… there are times where the grief and the blood got to be too much.” The gentle giant shivered and shut his eyes. “But there is so much here to love, and we choose it freely. We choose the sun and the sky, and the wind and the rain. We choose each other and we love one another fiercely, no matter how much we fight. That’s why I couldn’t give it all up to go with you.”

“I know,” Velvet pressed in against his side once more, “but you don’t have to. I choose this. I choose you, Alderheart.”

She could feel the tom’s face flush and his eyes snapped open to meet hers, their noses already touching and their eyes locked.

“I choose you too, Velvet.”

In another moment might have teased him for the manner of his reply or its obvious nature. His honest love filled her heart too much that all she could do was laugh, and nudge him to join her in capering among the violet blossoms.

* * *

The sky, too, was cast in gentle purple by the time the two returned to camp, mouths stuffed to their limit with prey and a pair of tucked and turned leaf bundles. Briarlight, sitting on a flat stone just on the side of the bramble wall, pushed herself up as the two came in.

“Welcome home, you two,” she said. “Looks like a successful outing to me.”

Velvet and Alderheart exchanged a glance, before nodding to the brown warrior who knew full well that their ears were at her mercy.

“The clan will be in a better mood with full bellies,” she continued, gesturing with a paw, “and if you came across anything interesting in your patrol, you just must share with me.” Her eyes glinted as she inclined her head towards Velvet. “A good story makes the night watch so much more interesting.”

After exchanging a few muffled affirmations and apologies, Briarlight released them to store their spoils. Velvet thought she would indulge the she-cat, another time, but for now she wanted to keep the memories of her mate to herself , at least for a little while.

Once they’d dropped their prey on the pile, and the herbs back in storage, the pair paused at the lowest stretch in the gorge where they would normally part. No matter how close they grew, Alderheart would have to remain in the medicine den, and Velvet would not press her luck with the clan further by moving out of the warrior’s den. The longer she remained, the more the other she-cats began to let her into their company, but she still admitted she would trade this to sleep beside him again.

Alderheart’s paws remained rooted in spot, like he could not bear to move another step from her.

Without a word, she touched his nose to his, before leading him with a brush of her tail beneath the shadow of a nearby fern. She circled three times on the spot before laying down against the bare earth, inviting him to her side. When the days were calm and the weather fair, it was not unusual for cats to drift off in the open, especially if they had found a favored spot in the camp. They were near enough to the medicine den that Alderheart could be roused if his skills as a healer were needed, and Velvet could easily be called upon to follow up her own duties all the same. The comfort of keeping him beside her was worth far more than the softest moss to be found around the lake.

So stay here with me, just a little longer...

Chapter Text

Fog hung heavy over the forest the night Velvet accompanied Sparkpelt on a border patrol, replacing the panting swelter of bright days with a clinging damp. Although the ginger warrior did not raise her voice in protest to the assignment, she stalked several paces ahead of her partner, the only evidence of her acknowledgment the occasional, furious lash of her tail.

They had not exactly got on since Velvet returned, and merely mentioning her and Alderheart in the same breath was enough to send Sparkpelt stomping out of the camp. Not even the gentle tom could coax a civil conversation from her.

She’s always stubborn like this, Alderheart explained with the cheerful patience of a sibling, she’ll get over it eventually. Velvet could tell that he was putting on a strong face, though, and the rift between him and his litter mate stuck in his heart like a thorn.

A smack of ShadowClan scent sent her tumbling out of her thoughts and she stopped at the edge of a copse, tail flagged in alert. “Have we crossed the border?”

Sparkpelt doubled back, her voice icy and impatient. “Their territory starts at the fallen elm there.”

At least it was conversation. Velvet thought to use it to warm herself to the fire-hearted warrior, but the s cent, strange and sharp, lingered in her nostrils. “Then what am I smelling?”

Sparkpelt took a sharp sniff, meaningfully, and her tail twitched again. She scanned the undergrowth in the mist. “Stay here.”

Velvet nodded, and drew back into caution until only the glint of her eyes showed from amongst the parted grass. Once Sparkpelt’s orange brilliance had faded into the mist, she heard movement just ahead. A pair of cast fixed their eyes on her from the comfort of the fog.

What am I doing, hiding on my own territory? Velvet loosened her paws and padded forward. “What are you doing across the border?” she called out, hoping to alert Sparkpelt to their presence as well. “Lose your way in the mist?”

No sooner had the question left her, the ShadowClan cats charged at Velvet, one with a chestnut pelt leading the fore and screaming a challenge. Before she could break away, calling out for Sparkpelt, she felt the weight of a full grown tom slam against her back.

Velvet yowled. A pair of sharp teeth dug into her scruff, wrestling with her collar and tearing at the threads. When they could not find purchase on her neck, she felt instead the cruel rake of claws down her flanks.

She had no other choice. She rolled hard to the side, slamming her attacker’s head into the ground. No sooner than she’d stunned him, loosening the grip of his paws for a fleeting moment, the second cat leapt from the fog. Her weight came down like a boulder, meeting Velvet’s outstretched paws and invoking a screech of pain from the tom beneath her as all of the weight pressed into his tender belly.

Velvet did not fight with finesse or form, and had no time to predict and react, though on some level she knew that she may have already lost her life had it not been for Ivypool’s ruthless training. A storm of claws and teeth fell in the fog, and with each new wound that ripped through Velvet’s pelt she leaned more into her fury.

“Get. Off!” She hissed, grabbing the snowy she-cat by the scruff and throwing her aside.

Sparkpelt joined the melee just moments after it had began, her fierce battle cry a prelude to a rain of blows on the already-stunned tom. The ShadowClan cats fell back, limping into a defensive stance.

“Why are you defending this kittypet?” The tom spat.

Before Sparkpelt could reply, Velvet stepped past her. The soft bands of her collar had been ripped and frayed up, joining her bloodied hackles. She ached all over, but she would not dare let these cats have a single moment of weakness from her. “Come at me again, and I’ll show you what this kittypet can do.”

The ShadowClan cats scoffed, but she could see fear in their gaze. They had not expected such ferocity from her. Neither did I, she admitted only to herself, but I think I could win.

There was no question with Sparkpelt at her side, who did not bother with the pretense of smoothing down her fur. “If Tigerstar doesn’t have your pelts, I will. Attacking a ThunderClan cat on her own territory! Not even he’s enough of an idiot to send cats to do that.”

The chestnut tom hissed. “What do you mean? We were just chasing off some kittypet that lost her way in the mist.”

Sparkpelt screamed and hurtled forward. The ShadowClan cats, shaken, turned tail and ran as fast as they could into the protection of the pines. She kept up the chase and then stood, paws braced at the very edge of the border until she could no longer detect their fear scent. Then she turned about and stalked towards Velvet, her gaze to the side.

“Thanks for jumping in there,” said Velvet. As the adrenaline emptied out of her veins, she started to feel her vision blur and her paws grow unsteady.

“You hardly needed my help,” replied Sparkpelt. “They were shaking out of their fur before I caught up. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Velvet took a step, and nearly crumpled under the weight of herself. She felt the warmth of blood running all the way to her belly fur.

Sparkpelt sighed, rolled her eyes, and moved to Velvet’s side to proper her up. “You’re not fine, but if you can still stand after that, you’ll live. Let’s get you patched up.”

“Thanks.” Velvet had no reservations about letting Sparkpelt carry her weight. As they passed into the familiar canopy, she couldn’t help but press the she-cat. “I thought you hated me.”

“I…” Sparkpelt’s muscles clenched where they bore Velvet. “Let’s just say I don’t see eye to eye with Bramblestar. I don’t hate you, and even if I did, I still wouldn’t let those foxhearts get away with attacking you like that.”

Velvet laughed, choking on a bit of spittle that had caught in her throat. Sparkpelt wouldn’t say it out loud, but there was a bright red streak of stubbornness that reminded her all too much of her own litter mates, once upon a time. Once they were well away from the border, Sparkpelt searched for enough cobweb to keep her whole through the journey home.

She was not particularly deft or gentle when cleaning and patching the rakes on Velvet’s pelt. “I love my brother,” she said, slapping a web-coated paw against a cut. “If he chooses someone, then I have to love them too. So do me a favor, and don’t do anything that would make him sad, okay?”

“Okay…” Velvet laughed again, wincing as she tested her hindlegs. “StarClan willing, I won’t be getting into another scrape like that anytime soon.” She took an experimental step, and then her head swam with haze deeper than the mist clinging around them. She ambled forwards a few steps before the forest started to sway gently sideways. “Could I trouble… you…”

“Velvet? V.. l.. vt!”

* * *

Alderheart was as further from Velvet as he’d been since she’d returned to the camp. Through the same mist he walked, trusting Jayfeather’s unbroken stride towards the Moonpool. Myrtlepaw bounded between them, her whiskers dewed from the fog and a persistent habit of leaping through damp patches of grass as they crossed the moors.

“Remember that you’re going to be meeting the other medicine cats,” said Alderheart, giving her a gentle flick with his tail. “You’ll want to be on your best behavior.”

“And no capering about like a kitten,” Jayfeather added. “The last thing we need to do is fish our new apprentice out of the Moonpool.”

“I’ll be good!” Myrtlepaw answered, the lilt in her voice doing little to instill their confidence. Alderheart was glad for the levity, though. His first visit had been fraught with doubt, and even now he wasn’t sure how the others were going to react now that word was spreading that he’d taken a mate.

Kestrelflight caught up to them near the ascent, and after a cheery nod to Alderheart, immediately pulled Jayfeather aside and began to all but whisper his ear off. He recognized the scents of Mothwing who had already passed this way—and the subtle, piney of perfume of Puddleshine that made his heart thump.

“Just through here…” Alderheart said, lifting a bit of the foliage that ringed the entrance to the hollow. One by one the cats bustled through, paying little mind to the nervous twitch in his tail, except for Jayfeather, who paused long enough to give him a queer look.

“Don’t agonize over it,” he said. “We all know you better than anyone.”

Except for maybe Velvet. He gave Jayfeather a grateful brush over the back, and then entered the hollow that led down to the Moonpool. Although he could not spy the stars through the fog, he could feel the presence of Silverpelt weighing heavy over them. Already the cats had begun to welcome Myrtlepaw.

“Seems ThunderClan still isn’t content until they have half the Moonpool to themselves,” said Mothwing, purring with amusement. “How do you find it?”

“It’s breathtaking,” said Myrtlepaw, her eyes bright as she keened her head and paced from side to side. “The fog makes it feel like we’re hidden here, with our ancestors… I feel so safe.”

“She’s much to learn,” said Alderheart, “but she has the heart for it.”

“Then why don’t you introduce her to StarClan?” Jayfeather said. “It’s about time, isn’t it?”

Alderheart nodded, padding forward to touch his nose against Myrtlepaw’s head. “It is. If you have any reservations, now would be a good time to let us know.”

“A good time would have been before we traipsed her halfway across the territories…” Jayfeather muttered. But Myrtlepaw shook her head and flagged her tail.

“Do you then?” asked Alderpaw. “Want to be a medicine cat, and share in the deepest knowledge of StarClan?”

“I do!” Myrtlepaw replied. “Even before you dreamed of me, I want to help keep my clanmates safe. And I want to help you and Velvet, too.”

A moment of fidgeting silence overtook the ring of cats about the Moonpool. Alderheart couldn’t help but search for Puddleshine, standing a few tail lengths away, who offered an unreadable smile in return. Before the quiet could linger, Alderheart shook out his fur and turned his gaze towards the veiled stars.

“Warriors of StarClan, I present to you Myrtlepaw. She has chosen the path of a medicine cat. Grant her your wisdom and insight so that she may understand your ways and heal her Clan in accordance with your wishes.”

Alderheart guided his apprentice to the shore, as Jayfeather had once done for him. The medicine cats did not glare at him in judgment, but looked on with the same warmth and understanding to Myrtlepaw, about to cross the threshhold as each of them had once before.

“Lay here… taste the coolness of the water. Touch your nose to the surface, and close your eyes… let their spirits guide you.”

The light of Silverpelt seemed to permeate the hollow, memories of cats forming and fading amongst the shifting mists. Myrtlepaw did as instructed, the tip of her tail frizzing out as she experienced the startling cold for the first time. And then she grew still, her eyes shutting, her mind shifting out into the reach of their ancestors.

Alderheart settled in between her and Jayfeather, and tried to feel the calm of the Moonpool. Even the chill that had grown to be soothing to his spirit settled unevenly, and while the other cats dreamed he felt himself staring into the darkness of his own eyelids.

Is StarClan angry with me…? he thought. They did not share tongues with every medicine cat every time they came to the Moonpool, but this was the first time since he’d bonded with Velvet that he’d even dared to approach them. No. That’s their will. If they want to watch us a while longer, then I will believe in them…

He stayed with his eyes shut as long as he could, hoping that eventually they would reach to him through dreams. Not once did he slip into their hunting grounds, though, and he was too restless to sleep. Once he heard the stirring of other cats, he stretched himself out and drew back from the water’s edge. He smiled at Myrtlepaw, still dreaming, looked up to see Puddleshine approaching.

The ShadowClan medicine cat touched noses, and then gestured with his tail for him to withdraw a ways so they would not disturb the other dreamers. Mothwing cracked open an eyelid, her whiskers curling at the sight of the pair before she dozed off again.

“I’m sorry I haven’t seen you much,” Alderheart whispered when they were finally off towards the brush. “I really should have made time for you.”

Puddleshine laughed gently. “You have a new apprentice,” he said, “and more than enough in your fresh kill pile otherwise. I understand.”

“I know, I just…”

“You’re worried about my feelings.” Puddleshine guessed, and when Alderheart nodded, he leaned forward to lick the tom between the eyes. “Silly kitten. I’m happy for you, and I don’t care for you any less. Would you say the same?”

“Of course,” said Alderheart. “Velvet knows, and… she thinks it would be good to spend some time together, the three of us.”

“StarClan will approve of that, surely,” Puddleshine demurred with a sway of his tail. “We will, when we can.” He narrowed his eyes affectionately and leaned in close to Alderheart, right where he could feel the heat coming off of the tom’s face. “So, when should we be expecting little bouncing kits?”

Alderheart’s pelt nearly doubled in size as he squirmed in embarrassment. “Um…”

“Oh, that soon?” Puddleshine pressed, flicking a lick at Alderheart’s ear. “You rascal.”

“Puddleshine…” Alderheart’s jumble of thoughts escaped him in a long, fading mew. He buried his face against the ground to muffle the sound, but not soon enough to escape reprimand.

“Ducking behind a rock won’t spare you from embarrassment,” Jayfeather called, “or me.”

Puddleshine tumbled onto his side, unable to contain his laughter as Alderheart let out the rest of his exasperated breath into the earth. They tangled togeth er in brief but unfettered play , and then settled in while they waited for the remaining dreamers to wake.

Myrtlepaw drew up from the water last, and held the rapt attention of every healer present. Alderheart waited for her to speak up, and then remembered that as her teacher he should welcome her back.

“What you shared is between you and StarClan,” he said, “but did you dream of them?”

Did it go well ? He asked himself in tandem, hoping it to be the case. Even if he’d earned the scorn of his ancestors, surely they would not take it out on an innocent apprentice.

“Yes!” she squeaked. “Yes, um… I have a lot to think about, but. Oh, Alderheart. We need to get back to camp. Right now!”

* * *

Velvet’s vision fluttered and she opened her eyes to see starlight all around. She was sitting on across the gorge on a moss-covered log, overlooking ThunderClan below. The wind did not ruffle her fur, though, and she could smell the scent of old earth and recently picked thyme somewhere far away. The sensation reminded her of something from long ago, before her twolegs, when she lived on her own among their nests.

A fluttering of moth’s wings, bright as the moon, drew her attention back to the forest behind her. A white she-cat strayed between the beech trees, her pelt shimmering with the same star-stuff that painted the ground around them. She padded up and sat before Velvet, tilting her head slightly to the side.

“I didn’t know if I could talk to you,”said the she-cat, “but I want to know you. If… you can stand to talk to me.”

“Who are you?” Velvet asked.

“I’m Moth Flight,” said the other cat, a nervous twitch in her claws. Velvet remembered suddenly her name—whispered like a long-lost secret alongside every withering glance she received when she was near Alderheart.

“I don’t… know you,” Velvet murmured.

“But you’ve heard of me.”

“I’ve heard stories,” Velvet admitted, “but I don’t know you. I think I would like to, though.”

A part of her wanted to blame Moth Flight for the pain that’d befallen each of the clan’s chosen healers, when they had to choose between their heart and their oath. How can I, though, when she’s no different than any of us?

“If,” she added, “you don’t judge me before you know me.”

Moth Flight tucked her tail against her side and looked away. “I don’t want to judge. I’m tired of judging. Half of StarClan resents me for what I did, and the other half keeps looking to me to enforce their will on the clans. This was never what I wanted.”

“Then let’s forget that for now,” said Velvet. “Will you walk with me?”

Moth Flight blinked twice, and then gave a slow nod. She moved towards Velvet’s side, guarded and cautious, as if she’d break loose at any moment. Then her silent breaths calmed and the two circled down to the slope into camp. They exchanged stories for a while—not stories of warriors past and battles fought, but of their favorite meals and the sunniest spots in the forest. Moth Flight told an anecdote about a cat she’d never known before, Dust Muzzle, and Velvet answered with her own.

Before long they had circled once more and were approaching the lake shore.

“Am I dead?” Velvet asked at last.

“No, you’re just in a deep sleep. It’s made it easier to come to you…” She batted at the surface of the water and watched the ripples flicker outward. “I wish it could always be like this. Carefree.”

“Why can’t it?” asked Velvet. “If I can prove to you that this works, then maybe it can be.”

“Your mate and your children might thrive, and you might bring great joy to your clanmates, but will everyone who loves a healer? Our eyes have been on countless cats before you. The burden does not fall on you alone, but it will be carried by the mate of every Medicine Cat who chooses this path.”

Velvet raised her tail, her pride stoked by Moth Flight’s lament. “My love is not a burden. It gives me the strength to overcome the challenges that we will inevitably face. As I’m sure your Micah would say, if you asked.”

Moth Flight’s ears drew back and she looked back at Velvet with wide eyes. “That’s not yours to speak of.” Then after a moment she added in a whisper, “you know he has.”

Velvet brushed her nose against Moth Flight’s. “I’m sorry that you suffered the way you did. I wish things could have been different for you, I really do. Not every mateship, even as forbidden as they are, has ended in tragedy, though. Some have brought clans great happiness and prosperity. And you forgave them, didn’t you? Because you know things are different now. Because you know this isn’t wrong.”

Moth Flight hesitated, and then brushed her whiskers against Velvet’s before turning away again. “Your clanmates are with you even now,” she said. “They care for you, as you care for them.”

Alderheart must be so worried about me. I’ve never met a cat who cares so much, and it’s almost overwhelming… I wish I didn’t ever have to put him through it. Then she dispelled the notion, because this is what it meant to be a part of their world. There would be times they would need to care for her, and when she was healthy again, she would continue to feed and defend them.

“Someone’s calling out for you,” said Moth Flight.

Velvet could not hear Alderheart, nor see him, but she knew that he was there. She could feel his body wrapped tightly around hers, and feel is voice washing over her in waves of warmth. There was so much love, and so much fear in him.

“Go back to him,” said Moth Flight.

The soft grain of fur warmed against her cheeks and the scent of the medicine den grew sharper. Stars around them began to dim, and Moth Flight’s body grew faint in turn. The whites of her eyes lingered on Velvet.

“What do you want me to say to them?”

Moth Flight looked away again, and then replied without looking up. “We’ll talk again, someday.”

After that the sound of her voice was like the memory of a rain, fading into daylight. The curl of Alderheart’s body against hers became more apparent, and her vision shifted towards a field of trembling ginger fur.

“Velvet… please, wake up…”

* * *

She didn’t tell him to let go, and didn’t tell him to stop his obsessive licking of her ears. When she came back to earth, every touch reassured her that everything was going to be okay. Every thrumming purr back soothed his nerves, and Jayfeather, ever the sentinel, unfurled his tail ever-slightly as he let his guarded concern fade.

“I was going to stop him,” said Jayfeather, “but your breathing actually got better with him fussing over you. How are you feeling?”

Velvet gave her paws a wiggle, her hindquarters a flex, and her tail a brisk flick. “Sore, but nothing feels broken.

“Then you won’t mind if I change your dressing,” said Jayfeather. “Briarlight knows what she’s doing, but I’m not taking any chances.” He lifted his head. “Myrtlepaw. Could you get marigold from the back?”

“On it!” Myrtlepaw piped, pausing between quick hops to peer at Velvet. “We were worried about you,” she said. “I’m glad you’re awake.”

“I’m just fine, thanks to all of you,” said Velvet, nuzzling against Alderheart’s cheek. “Really! I’m okay, so you can stop worrying.”

“My sister told me everything.” Alderheart shuddered, and then straightened his paws. The tom swallowed his anxiety, until even his tail-tip lay still against her flank. “I should have been there with you.”

She focused on the sound of his voice, wrapping two of her fore-paws around his. “I never expected you to be by my side every day, every moment… you’re here when it counts, and that’s what matters. Besides, they’ll think twice before trying it again.” She managed a laugh, dropping off with as sharp mewl as she felt a stab of tenderness from her flank. Jayfeather drew a paw up without an ounce of apology, and began redressing the scratch.

“Bramblestar is going to confront ShadowClan at the next gathering,” said Alderheart. “He won’t let anyone get away with attacking a ThunderClan cat unprovoked.”

“And ruffle more than a few pelts while he’s at it…” Velvet sighed.

Jayfeather paused, and leaned down to draw his nose through Velvet’s fur. He pressed a paw firmly to her underbelly, before letting it go again and growing quiet.

“What is it?” Alderheart’s leaned over, eyes darting to Jayfeather. “Is she okay?”

“There’s nothing wrong with her, aside from a few scratches.” Jayfeather turned to face the pair. “And you would have figured it out yourself if you weren’t so worried about her injuries.”

Velvet had to let the truth out before Alderheart worried his way out of his pelt. “I wanted to tell you first,” she confessed. “Just you. But I suppose now is a good a time as any. Alderheart… I’m expecting.”

“Expecting…? You – Kits?” Alderheart echoed the words, his eyes wide and round. “Kits! Velvet, I--” A great flush overtook his face, and his ears twitched back. He shuffled excitedly between his paws, almost pouncing against her and then quickly deciding against it. Velvet could not even tell that the idea was once so unspoken, her mate absent of anything but jubilation.

“I’m so happy,” he finished, and settled for rubbing his cheek against her. “I don’t—I can’t think straight, but I’m so very… oh, Velvet…”

She laughed and leaned firm against him once more. “I know, big cat,” she said. “Me, too.”

Once she chanced a look at Jayfeather, who continued to observe them without a word. After a few moments he seemed to pick up on Velvet’s attention, and then ran a paw to test the placement of her fresh dressings. He wore the faint curl of a smile on his lips, and a distant sadness in his heart. “I know better than to try to keep a stubborn queen in camp, but do us all a favor and stay in ThunderClan territory, at least?”

“I…” Velvet looked up, as if she could see the open sky through the stone roof above her. “I’ll stay off border patrols, but I’m still hunting around camp. And Alderheart is going to keep showing me where the flowers grow.”

“Really, now…” Jayfeather heaved a heavy sigh.

“Are you going to say no to a queen, battle-scarred from doing her duty?” Velvet laughed and narrowed her eyes. “I’ll be careful. I promise.”

* * *

True to her word, Velvet rarely strayed far from camp in the coming days. She would not deny herself the fresh air and the freedom to roam, but did not feel the desire to rub her nose up against the other clans anytime soon. When it came time for the next Gathering, Alderheart started with surprise when she strolled out to join the procession.

“You’re going?” he asked, unable to hide his concern. “Bramblestar is going to confront Tigerstar. You don’t have to… it might not be safe.”

“I won’t hide from them,” said Velvet, brushing up against his side. “If I don’t belong at the gathering, then do I really belong here at all?”

Alderheart’s long strides, even with his hesitation, kept up with her easily. The ache of her old sores and the weight of her growing kits made the journey feel all the more laborious. “Of course you do,” he said. “Of course! If you don’t feel that way, then I… oh, Velvet…”

She paused long enough to nip at the side of his neck. “It’s not your job to make other cats more accepting.”

“Isn’t it?” he asked, pressing back to her. “I want to make you feel welcome, and happy.”

Her paws seemed to lighten as her heart did, and she pressed against him with a purr. “You already do, my heart.”

Velvet focused on him as they encircled the lake, and encouraged him to do the same. Already she could feel uneasy eyes falling on them, lingering and then sparking into whispers of conspiracy. As they crossed the log-bridge to the island, the sound rose almost like a breeze in the reeds. It simmered some as she settled beside Iyvpool and let Alderheart part to join the other medicine cats beneath the oak.

Each leader sprung, climbed, and in more graceful steps seemed to sweep onto the branches like shadow. It was not long before Bramblestar tapped his paw down and commanded attention.

“Before we move on, we must address the incident at the ShadowClan border,” he said.

All eyes fell upon Tigerstar. “Border spats happen,” he said. “Does this really merit carrying out in front of the gathering?”

“Border spats?” Jayfeather growled. “Your warriors sent a pregnant queen to my den with one paw in StarClan, and you want to call it a spat?”

“I didn’t want to do this in front of everyone,” Tigerstar growled.

“You’re damn right you didn’t, because you didn’t want anyone else to know that your warriors attacked another cat unprovoked.”

“They’ve been punished to a matter that I think even you would find sufficient,” Tigerstar spat back. “Don’t be so fast to hope that we’ve forgotten ThunderClan’s crimes.”

“Enough!” Mistystar yowled. “We aren’t here to renegotiate history.”

Bramblestar bit back a nother yowl . “No,” he said. “I am simply here to state what should have been apparent. Velvet is a warrior of ThunderClan, and I will respond in kind as I would to an attack on any ThunderClan cat.”

“But she’s not just a warrior,” said Harestar. “She’s… they’re…”

“A kittypet and a medicine cat,” Jayfeather finished. “We’re not daft. StarClan has already spoken on this matter.”

The moon hung bright and unclouded, as if to punctuate his point.

“StarClan or not,” Mistystar pressed, “you have to understand the risk that you’re putting your clan at.”

“No more risk than any cat chasing another,” Jayfeather answered. “ThunderClan has made its choice. If our warriors can’t keep their claws off two mousebrained fluffballs, then we ought to just throw ourselves in the lake and be done with it.”

Velvet could feel the collective bristle of the whole gathering as the two continued to argue, and stepped towards the foot of the great tree. “Jayfeather. Thank you for standing up for us, but that’s enough.”

Jayfeather gave her a withering look and flicked his tail. If he groused against her interruption, she couldn’t hear it over the tumult of the gathered cats. She drew Alderheart up beside her with her tail, and then looked over the sea of glinting eyes. Behind some of those glints could lay hidden hatred, but if she believed that to be the case, she would never have come to live there.

“It’s… strange to even have this conversation. I’m not the first cat from outside the clans, and not even the first to take on a mate. Even if you’ve had to look away, you’ve already been loving like this for so long… StarClan has seen this.”

“What do you know about StarClan?” Harestar interjected. “Just because you’ve lived with us doesn’t mean you understand everything you’ve been through.”

“Maybe not,” said Velvet, “but I understand my clan. You know as well as I do that your paws don’t stop at the borders. They never have.”

A grumbling concession rolled through the older cats. Before they could get too caught up in their own whispered debate, she flagged her tail and raised her head. “That’s not what this is about. I’m here. We’re here. Look the other way if you must, but don’t deny what is already a part of you.”

“It’s not that simple,” said Mistystar next. “Cats before you ‘looked the other way’ well enough. Especially from the pain of their supposed clanmates.”

“I’m not asking you to forgive the past.” Velvet sighed. “Alderheart and I aren’t going to change the clans, and my neck bristles at the thought.”

She felt the weight of Alderheart leaning against her side before he raised his voice. “I care for Velvet and I care for our community. We’re strong enough that we don’t need to trade one for the other, and we’re ready for whatever happens.”

And let StarClan sort all of this nonsense out, thought Velvet, pressing to her mate’s side. The sight did more to stir discomfort into the clan s , but she was glad for him to show what she knew so clearly.

“Well spoken,” said Bramblestar, “but this is not a matter of debate. Velvet is ThunderClan, and you endanger her at the same peril of endangering any clan cat. If the other leaders have any more business?”

All cats looked up to the sky, waiting for StarClan to make their displeasure known. The threads of clouds that drifted in the night did not obscure the moon, or give more than a curious malaise to those watching from below. And, indeed, if there was a deep malice rooted in more than a couple cats, it did not manifest among them.

The leaders’ weariness of the matter was plain, and Velvet could imagine why. Mistystar’s heart had been torn so many ways by cause of her parentage, how could she not pass that warning on to her? Harestar had seen it, too, and to see it plain in the open, how could he let it pass without alarm?

But they were all deeply entangled with cats of other clans, and even cats outside the clans. Tigerstar was only swift to defend his clanmates from the wrath of other clans, just as Bramblestar was. Both knew their kin, and knew the chances they’d taken in loving how they loved. Leafstar most of all knew how her clan was woven of the same bonds that Velvet carried , and so naturally she was the first to break the mood.

“I don’t know how you would expect us to just carry on after all that,” she said, “but at the very least, can we all agree that this is not a matter that merits claws in the dark, or the opinion of every cat?” Her eyes roamed across the other leaders, but they landed hardest on Tigerstar, who brushed a bit of bark from the branch beneath him.

“Yes, very well,” he said, stretching out his front claws. “I’ve nothing else to discuss.”

The mood simmered down quickly, as even the engrossed cats, once the gossip had become exhausted, found other things of greater interest – for the most part. Once she and Alderheart had settled in, just nearby the tree, she found herself with a preponderance of visitors who approached one at a time. Some had come just to get a good look and dote over a pregnant queen, while others still wanted to get to know them. Velvet could see in their eyes that they had their own stories to tell, and she would be happy to hear them when they were willing. After a time, though, all the attention became wearying and she leaned up to rasp her tongue at Alderheart’s cheek.

“I’m glad we came,” she said, drawing the tips of her claws along her belly, “but can you take me home? I’m feeling a little bloaty.”

Alderheart’ s ears perked, tinted with blush, and he nodded without hesitation. “Of course.”

Chapter Text

Not everyone was kind, but the whispers retreated into the shadows of camp as the forest leaves erupted into a blaze of red and yellow. Velvet kept her name, and her collar, and every now and then Sparkpelt would tease her about the way she groomed herself, but there was no question that she was a warrior of ThunderClan.

Nor was there any question that she was a very pregnant warrior, and the effort of moving about became such a chore that she decided that it was okay, for just a little while, to lay in a nest and let her clan take care of her.

Most of all she enjoyed Alderheart, who despite being known for a softer pelt, poured himself into hunting, shoring up the nursery, and tending her needs as best as he could. Even though she assured him the best thing he could do was keep her company, he still seem determined to work his tail off at the smallest task, from finding clear water to bringing mounds of fresh moss to the nursery.

“Now the trick is to make sure you’ve got enough support,” said Daisy, nosing a fern between Velvet and Alderheart. “You ain’t making yourself a little lovers’ nest. You gotta make sure you think about keepin’ your kittens snuggled safe and tight… maybe four or five of ‘em.”

“That many?” Alderheart squeaked. Although he had been at Velvet’s side the entire time, the reality had only just started to set in. The charismatic puffs in his imagination became more real, and Velvet too looked forward to meeting her family-to-be.

Daisy laughed and took a step back, observing their work again. “You haven’t helped that many queens kit yet, youngin’, or you’d know… you don’t get to pick and choose how many you’re blessed with, but you’re blessed nonetheless.”

“Don’t you worry about a thing, though,” said Fernsong. “You’ve got us, and you’ve got your whole clan to help.”

“And I’ve got my big cat,” Velvet added, bunting her way against Alderheart to inspect the new nest. “It looks softer than a cloud. Thank you.”

All three made room for Velvet to slip into the freshly made bed, circling three times before stretching her paws out along the curve of it. The bundled walls lay high enough that she could drape her weight against it without breaking it. “It’s perfect.”

“You might feel that way now,” said Daisy, “but don’t feel bad if you feel a calling to head into the forest. Plenty of queens before you felt the pull of solitude. You find yourself drifting, you just make sure to grab one of us and let us know.”

“And a medicine cat,” Alderheart added, giving Velvet a couple swift licks between the ears.

Daisy paused, and lifted a smile to Alderheart. “And a medicine cat, yes, dear.”

“Relax… I’m not going to have them without you,” Velvet murmured, pushing her forehead against his. “Okay?”

Alderheart nodded. “Okay.”

Velvet must have heard him ask Bramblestar a hundred times if it was okay for him to stay in the nursery, and Jayfeather a hundred more. She was convinced that even if they had not relented, they would have assigned him there just to put an end to his fretting. Jayfeather had taken over Myrtlepaw’s training, though it was hardly a break. He insisted Alderheart keep regular watch on the nursery and the elders, which meant that she only spent half of the days snuggling and teasing him.

“You’ll go here,” she said, grasping his shoulders in her paws and pulling until he practically stumbled into the nest. “Like that, and they’ll be able to curl up right here. That way even if there’s a bit of a chill, they’ll barely shiver their tails.”

“You’ve got this all thought out, don’t you?” Alderheart pawed at the empty space between them, ears raised. “I just hope I can do this right…”

“You were practically a father to Twigbranch,” said Fernsong. “You’ve got the right heart for it.”

“Exactly,” said Velvet. “Don’t get nervous, or you’ll make me nervous.”

Alderheart took a deep breath, and leaned down to thump his head against hers, letting the breath out in a purr. “I know.”

I don’t feel nervous when you’re around, even when you get all wound up… Velvet thought, kneading the moss with her claws. But if it helps you relax, I don’t mind.

* * *

For all her promises, when the birth of her litter drew near, Velvet felt a stirring urgency. The high walls of the gorge felt ominous, their shadows too deep and yet their surfaces too bright. The nursery, expanded as it was, felt cramped and alien to her. All of the cats around made her pause and look on in hesitation, and sometimes she even felt the need to push away from Alderheart’s side.

It’s no shame , Daisy told her. Every queen has strange feelings and strange dreams… because she wants the best for her children, and nothing, no one can stand in the way of that.

Velvet’s thoughts turned to her twoleg’s nest, beneath the porch lattice in a space that only ever smelled like her and the occasional shrew, dark and secret and comfortable. In the still of night she rose, careful not to stir Alderheart as she unwound from his paws. She strode until she could see moonlight through the entrance.

Her fur bristled and tingled for a moment, and she looked back at her mate, alone in the nest. For all of his flaws, Velvet had never felt as safe and loved around anyone else in her life. She knew that he would love her kittens more than any other tom or queen ever would, and could not imagine anyone else she’d rather have at her side for this new part of her life. The cats of ThunderClan had done all they could to promise the safety of her litter.

Velvet drew a deep breath to calm herself and returned to her nest. The urge would visit her again for the following nights, the calling in her paws growing louder each time, but after each lonely patrol she returned. On the third day, she would not let Alderheart leave the nest, and on the third night, when she knew for certain her kits would be born, she rolled her head and pushed her nose against Alderheart’s chin until he woke up. His eyes opened, wide little gleams in the dark greeting her. She shuddered and smiled in the same breath.

“It’s time.”

* * *

The coming of Velvet’s kits did not escape Leafpool. She would not reveal herself to them—surely they had enough to worry about as it was—but once they were safe in their nest, she would visit long enough to leave her blessing.

I hope not another cat will have to go through what I did , she thought, pacing the bottom of the gorge. One cat’s life is never the end of the tale, but maybe now… maybe things will be different for who comes next.

Leafpool froze in her pondering, looking across stone and sprig to find Moth Flight staring back at her. She dipped her head cautiously, the two cats pausing before closing the distance to one another. They greeted each other with a formal sniff before Moth Flight turned her head towards the nursery.

“What are you doing here?” Leafpool asked, flinching as her words came out harsher than she’d intended.

Moth Flight did not bristle. “Same as you, I imagine,” she said. “I hope they don’t end up suffering because of this.”

“They won’t,” said Leafpool.

“Why? Because you’ll make sure they won’t?”

“Because the clans have changed. I’ve lived it. You just need to see it.”

“I still don’t know if this is the right path for the clans,” said Moth Flight. “Even if they have a happy ending, that’s not going to be the case for everyone.” She turned her head to Leafpool. “You understand, right?”

Leafpool did, but she refused to let the experience hold her back. “Our lives are filled with pain and mistakes, some of our own making, and some from wounds drawn far before our time. Despite everything—everything—our strongest instinct is to love. It defines us, it defies us, and drives us beyond the edge of reason. It also gives us the strength to carry on when we have lost all else. There is no greater sorrow, and no greater joy. All cats deserve to choose for themselves.”

“Is it worth it, though?” Moth Flight asked. “Can the clans survive it?”

“I don’t think they can survive without it,” replied Leafpool. “What about you? Despite the loss… was it worth it for you?”

Moth Flight closed her eyes, reflecting in silence for a few moments before responding in a whisper. “ How could I possibly say that I wouldn’t take it all back, after all of the agony I caused?”

Leafpool touched her tail to the edge of Moth Flight’s, and the white she-cat jumped. She pulled away a moment, before giving her head a quick shake in apology.

“Let’s give them a chance,” said Leafpool. “If things are different now, then we must.”

Moth Flight nodded. “A chance,” she repeated. “I am not ready to let go forever, but I think I can do that.”

Leafpool purred. She took a step towards the nursery, and then looked back at her nervous predecessor. “Why don’t you come see them, then?”

The white cat hesitated, so long that Leafpool thought she may have become broken in thought. Then she gave the slightest of nods and moved ahead. The two walked the winding path to where Velvet’s newborn litter rested, with no idea of the great and terrible things that lay ahead of them.

* * *

Velvet lay flat in her nest, exhausted but unwilling to stay prone for long. Even though she knew the size of her litter, it still astounded her to be laying with seven eager kits burrowing against her belly. Each cat around her was more shocked than the last, no greater than Alderheart, whose eyes were moon-like in expectation that an eighth kit would follow. Now he formed the other half of her circle, helping keep their new family together.

Even without accounting for the kits, the nursery felt packed. Daisy, content that Velvet was settled in and focused entirely on her little family, drew back to give herself space. Fernsong remained as well, huddled alongside Ivypool. Jayfeather and Myrtlepaw checked over the kittens, helping to groom their fur and making sure they were all healthy.

“You certainly know how to put us to work,” said Jayfeather. “We let the two of you get on for one Greenleaf and the clan is already half Velvet.”

Daisy let out a purring laugh. “Oh, but aren’t they sweet?”

Ivypool flattened her ears and draped herself over Fernsong’s flank. “If I’d had that many, I would have cut a hole in Fernsong and made him carry them himself.”

“You know I would if I could,” Fernsong replied. “A bit… violent for the nursery, though, isn’t it?”

“You knew what you were getting into with me, fluffbutt.”

Velvet laughed to herself, and shook her head. The concerns of her clanmates felt far away, but at the same time she was relieved to have them there. That her kits would grow up with such a large family, that there would be time for laughter and levity even in the wild, gave her assurance. ThunderClan would teach and care for her children just as they did for her, and some day she would return the favor for their own.

“I can’t thank you enough,” she said. “I promise we’ll return the favor someday, somehow…”

“You do that by being a good mother to them,” said Jayfeather. He flicked his paw at Alderheart’s ear. “You be a passable father, and you’ll be all right.”

Alderheart barely noticed the tweak, eyes moving over the bundle of dark ginger kits over and over again. “There are so many… can you even tell them apart?”

“A mother knows,” Velvet purred, though privately she had a little difficulty of her own keeping track of them. Their subtle differences in scent and markings would grow more pronounced with time, and once they grew into their own personalities, there would be little question. “Naming them would probably help.”

“A name for each of them…” Alderheart murmured. “What if we named one Jaykit? I mean, we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Jayfeather.”

The grizzled medicine cat shot a glare over his shoulder. “I don’t think anyone would enjoy that,” he groused. “And if you want to nod to anyone, it should be my mother.”

“Leafpool, yes. Leaf…kit then…” Velvet said, gently brushing her nose over one of the kittens. It felt a little strange to name them as clan cats—but as they grew older, and asked her about hers, maybe they could choose their own. For now, this was the best way to make them feel like a part of ThunderClan. “Then perhaps one should be Mothkit.”

A quiet descended over the nursery, save for the shuffle of fur on moss as the kittens wiggled about. It was almost as if they could feel the presence of StarClan there with them, if they could even find a space to stand. There was a quiet, collective nod, and Velvet gently nudged one of her daughters back to her side. None of them would know the gravity of their birth, and if she couldn’t protect them from the pressure, she would at least fight to make sure that it brought them more love than harm.

“I think that’s perfect,” Alderheart finally said. “Can we name one Cherrykit?”

“Of course,” Velvet responded, blinking slowly at her mate.

“I trust Alderheart to keep an eye on them, but we’ll check in as well,” said Jayfeather. “With that many we’ll need to make sure you’re well looked after, and we should let the other queens know in case you need a little help. A full litter can be quite demanding.”

“Thank you, Jayfeather,” said Velvet. She bristled at the implication that she would not be able to keep her young fed and healthy, but as hungry as they were and as hungry as they would become, she was grateful for the offer. I’m not taking any chances… not one, my loves.

“Come on, Myrtlepaw,” said Jayfeather. “We don’t want to crowd them.”

“Yeah… they’ll be big enough to play with soon enough!” Myrtlepaw bounced after Jayfeather, adding in a quick “congratulations!” before following him out.

Velvet heard the old medicine cat turn and thrust himself into the face of several cats gathered outside. “That goes for you lot, too! I catch any of you sniffing around here before they’ve had a chance to rest, and I’ll have Bramblestar post a patrol here sunrise to sunset. Test that I don’t! Honestly…”

A collective purr of amusement overtook the Nursery, now reduced to the queens, and their kits and companions.

It took them some time to name the rest, basking in the warmth and bustle of a full nursery. Mothkit, Leafkit, and Cherrykit’s siblings would have to wait a bit longer for their names—Velvet would not rush them, and in all matters she wanted to give them the proper time.

Velvet could hear Alderheart reciting names under his breath, determined to mark them all into his heart as soon as possible. They could not see if the spirits of StarClan joined them there, but Velvet though she could feel them about her like a guiding glow. No matter what lay ahead, she was certain that she had set paws on the right path.

“Welcome to the world, all of you,” said Velvet. “The first thing you should know is that you are, and always will be, so very loved.”

Chapter Text

Jayfeather made a habit of removing himself for some peace and quiet. Unlike Alderheart, he could not mute Myrtlepaw’s endless enthusiasm. The warriors gossiped incessantly as they always did, and now Velvet’s kits had gotten large enough to start ranging around camp.

“They’re your responsibility,” he’d remarked to Alderheart whenever the topic was brought up, often before skulking just of the gorge. Yet could not help himself from training an ear to the bottom of the camp, following the patter of kit paws moving back and forth over the stone floor like little waves.

Tonight Mothkit kept ahold of the moss ball just long enough for Leafkit to shred it into pieces, which was for the best, because then the rest of their siblings had a chance to get ahold of one of them. He dusted his tail over the ground, then snapped it to his side once he heard the approach of another cat.

“What are you doing up here all by your lonesome?” asked Poppyfrost.

“Wondering what it is I’ve unleashed on my clan,” Jayfeather muttered, hunching over. “There’ll be no rest for us for moons, at least!”

“Oh, you act like you’ve never been around a kit before…” Poppyfrost laughed, planting herself beside him. “It’s been good for us, honestly. You did the right thing.”

“I know,” said Jayfeather, clenching his teeth. He couldn’t deny that her approval, of all cats, did still matter to him. “I’m glad you think so.”

Poppyfrost leaned down beside him to listen to the mischief being made below. When Velvet called out, the scattered kits gathered like a storm, bounding towards the nursery. “I heard a rumor,” she said, “that it’s okay to pad after medicine cats now. I can’t imagine what that’s like after all these years.”

“If you ask me, I think some cats have gotten a little too enthusiastic about the whole thing.”

“You don’t say?” Poppyfrost scooted a little closer, and he could feel her amusement in the twitches of her whiskers.

“Some of us have better things to do,” Jayfeather continued on. “Or don’t even like the idea of a mate in the first place! How I pity every queen who just wished to be left alone for one moon, if they have to endure such constant courting for their affections.”

Poppyfrost laughed again, a bit softer this time, and he could feel her gaze lingering on his face. Once, twice, the tip of his tail twitched furiously before it became caught under the weight of hers. He froze, his old heart lurching in a way that it hadn’t since he could even remember.

Pull away, growl, say SOMETHING, you old crease. His nerves howled as she laid her affection bare. If you were ANYONE else, yes, anyone else, I would shred your ears…

Why was it okay? Was it the countless times they’d spent time together, even after her kits were born? Was it that version of him, listening from across the camp some evenings, wondering what if before the lonely life of prophecy had burned away his affection?

None of these satisfied him, and Jayfeather knew better than to try.

All he could do was stay there and enjoy the moment they sat in silence, laying his tail back across hers.