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“… Lars, thanks for all your help, but I think you can go home and rest now.”
“No, I’ll be fine.”
Mr. Universe sighs, comprehensive but concerned. “Lars—”
“It’s okay, I mean it. I told Steven I’d take care of him. I’ve gotta keep that promise, y’know?”
The older man wants to argue, but it’s not like he can simply get Lars off the bed, or get him away from Steven’s asleep, miserable body. Lars’ clothes are still the same ones stained with red and salty tears, but he can’t bring himself to let go of the boy in his arms.
“Alright then. I’ll… I’ll go stay with the others. You call us if you need anything, okay?” Mr. Universe insists to which Lars responds with a silent nod.
With loud hesitance, Mr. Universe eventually leaves the room, and they’re for once left alone; away from the desperate hands and voices and tears that cried for Steven’s life. Dr. Maheswaran at least said Steven would be alright as long as he slept a lot and kept himself hydrated.
He’ll be fine.
…
The gems, Connie, Mr. Universe, Dr. Maheswaran, they have all reassured Lars nothing would go wrong again, that Steven is under cautious watch and the safety of the hospital equipment. While yes, that is true, Lars dreads the thought of leaving Steven alone again.
It’s almost an instinct, the need to stay and protect.
Especially as none of them found Steven abandoned in the corner of his room like a corpse in a crime scene, the storm and lightning adding up to the horrific atmosphere. They didn’t see the bloodstains all over the pink jacket and the wooden floor, and the cellphone dirtied with bloodied fingertips as they reached Lars’ contact photo.
Lars felt himself losing Steven. He felt the boy actually dying. Dying like Lars did in outer space, but so quietly no one would have known.
The older teen needs to remind himself that Steven is safe, that he’s breathing in his arms, sleeping soundly.
Lars is the captain of the Off Colors, after all. He can’t stand the thought of losing his family.
Steven is actually holding onto him, too. He is at least sleeping, but Steven sometimes tenses and holds onto the closest thing to him, Lars’ stained clothes. He’s not sure if Steven is dreaming or not, but regardless he hugs the boy close, like he never held someone before.
Lars has already sent a quick message to Sadie who had no idea why her boyfriend left their sleepover without any time to explain. It was an emergency, though, and Sadie wishes him good night. She also hopes she’ll visit Steven one of these days. Maybe they could bake him a huge cake. The suggestion almost has him smile.
It goes away with the sigh he’s been holding on for forever.
The beeps of Steven’s heart keep his eyes open, and the beat against his hands helps him breathe, too. Lars adjusts the warm blankets over the kid, who’s only wearing a hospital gown right now and not the dirty pink jacket and blue jeans, forever scarred with red. Lars has washed his hands at least ten times yet he swears he might still feel Steven’s blood in them.
Lars doesn’t think he’s ever been this scared before.
The worst day of his life has always changed through the years. It used to be the day Lars lost Han Solo, his cat friend who’d been only three years old when it was heartlessly poisoned. Then it was when his friendship with Ronaldo ended. When Lars got kidnapped and taken away from home. When he died protecting his friends, even if he’s grateful he met the Off Colors.
Today could very well get in the list.
Steven, the boy who practically became his surrogate little brother, was in so much despair he almost took out his own life. Some part in him, though, called for Lars.
Lars had no idea what happened at the time.
There was no one speaking on the phone. Only dangerously slow breathing.
He’d never run so fast.
Five minutes later, Lars was in the hospital. Everyone was asking him questions but all he could see was Steven being taken to emergency surgery. In the end, Dr. Maheswaran talked to them for him.
Lars was the quietest he’s been since he lost his cat. He could only wait in the lonely hospital hall with everyone else, all the questions floating above their heads. At the very least, Lars was given a hopeful answer.
And now he’ll make sure Steven doesn’t struggle alone again.
He won’t lose someone again.
No more.
The hospital room is almost bleak if not for the light from under the door, besides the bright beeps. Steven might glow pink every now and then, too, due to so much bottled-up distress. Lars admits he might have a headache which he hasn’t had in years, maybe from crying too much. The dark helps for the most part, at least.
Lars must look awful. Besides his dirty pajamas, he can definitely tell his eyes are puffy and sleep deprived (ironically). He doesn’t know how Steven feels comfortable when Lars is probably very nasty right now, but it’s not like Lars can let go, either. Steven is a very cuddly sleeper and holds onto anyone close like his life depends on it. Lars never thought it’d be so literal, though.
Steven mumbles things in his sleep, too. Sometimes it’s funny. He randomly scolds Lion in his dreams, or lovingly calls Connie. But then other times Steven begs not to be hurt or he starts crying, even to the point of summoning his shield when it’s going too far; likely trapped inside the war in his mind. Lars knows holding him helps, so Steven realizes he’s not actually alone in the battlefield. Then he makes Steven some hot chocolate or reads him one of his old Crying Breakfast Friends books he tells no one about.
Steven also apologizes a lot for needing care. Lars never loses his patience over it. He reminds Steven every single time, for whatever long it takes. The boy truly is deprived of being taken care of, like some sort of emotional hunger. Lars knows it all too well.
The mumbles this time are more confused than scared, and Steven slowly… wakes up again. It must have been hours or maybe just a couple of minutes. Lars hasn’t looked at his phone in a while.
“Mmm…” there’s a quick pause, until realization comes. “Lars?”
Lars merely smiles. “Hey, buddy.”
Steven yawns, “What’re you doing here?”
“Taking care of you.”
“Wait…” Steven frowns, “where—”
This time the pause is forced.
“Oh no,” Steven whispers. “Lars—”
“Don’t even consider apologizing, Steven,” Lars interrupts before he does, but he’s not harsh about it. It’s almost begging, if anything.
“I-Is everyone okay?”
The older boy sighs. “Yeah, Steven. Everyone’s fine.” Lars carefully touches his lightly glowing cheek. “Are you okay?”
Steven gulps. “I-I don’t know, but it… it kinda hurts.”
“Yeah?”
“B-But I think I can manage it.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
Lars watches, then shrugs. “Well, I’m gonna stay with you either way. I mean…” he clears his throat, “if you want me to.”
“I-If it’s not asking too much…”
“You know it’s not.”
Steven swallows again, like he’s trying really hard not to cry.
“You wanna talk about it?” Lars wonders.
The other boy shakes his head.
“Okay. You should try to rest, then.”
Steven shakes his head again. “I’m really scared. W-What are they going to think about me now?”
Lars sighs, “One thing I know is that they’re not gonna hate you, Steven. We all love you very much. We’re not gonna leave you, especially when you’re hurting.”
Steven looks so unsure. Lars doesn’t ignore it.
“You can trust me, you know that, right?” He emphasizes.
The other slowly nods. Lars pulls him close again and sighs deeply.
Fresh tears stain his shirt.
“I… I-I didn’t know who else I could go to,” Steven admits.
Lars thinks and rubs his back. “I know.” He squeezes him. “I’m proud of you.”
Steven pulls away, “What?”
“I’m glad you called for help, Steven. That was really brave of you, you know that?” Steven shakes his head in response. “I know it’s scary telling this stuff to someone, but you reached out for help when you needed.” Lars smiles sadly, “I’m really proud of you, buddy.”
That causes more tears to get out, and at this point Steven gives up bottling them up.
“I-I’m not brave,” he sobs, “I’m just a coward.”
“You’re not.”
“I’m a fraud. I-I almost…”
Lars is the one shaking his head now. “Steven, you’re allowed to feel hurt. That’s not cowardice.”
Steven sniffs. “I j-just want to disappear, Lars. H-How is that not cowardice?”
“Because you’re human,” Lars cleans one of his tears, “even if half of it. You don’t need to be scared of being human. That’s okay.”
For once, the other boy stops protesting. Steven sobs painfully, like his throat might break. They bury their faces in one another, Lars feeling his tears against his scar. Sharing his own, already dried tears from days long past.
Steven’s glow for once fades, and so does his sobbing. They’re very quiet then. Lars almost thinks he’s fallen asleep again, but Steven is pulling away again to face him.
“You…” he hesitates, “you look really tired, too.”
Lars can’t help the smile. “You’re the one needing to be worried about here.”
Steven stares at his scar. “… You’re a kid too, Lars. You need rest.”
Lars legitimately doesn’t know how to answer that, for what it feels like years. When was the last time he heard those exact words?
Either way, he smirks. “I’m older than you, though.”
Steven cuddles against him. “Still a kid,” he whispers.
“Pfft. Alright then.”
Against his pride, Lars ends up falling asleep too.