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The roads were deserted and the rain had finally let up. It was dark and quiet. The only lights around were red and blue, flashing from a cop car miles ahead. Castiel sighed, fumbling through his pocket for his phone, then trying to get the cord plugged in without taking his eye from the road.
A new set of flashing lights appeared in his rearview mirror, accompanied by the crescendoing sound of an ambulance siren.
Castiel pulled over, as the vehicle sped towards him. Once stopped on the shoulder, he plugged in his phone, hitting shuffle on his favorite playlist while he waited for the ambulance to pass.
They asked me how I knew
My true love was true
Oh-oh-oh-oh, I, of course, replied
"Something here inside
Cannot be denied" (Ooh, ooh, ooh)
“Something is up with him, Cas.”
“Listen to yourself… you always make excuses for him. Why won’t he let you visit him? Is he hiding something back home… another boyfriend, maybe a husband?”
“You’re so blind. He is playing you!”
They all tried to warn him. They all knew. Maybe they didn’t know the exact details. But they knew something was off about Dean Winchester. Everyone except Castiel. He was too in love to see the forest for the trees.
He had just seemed so… perfect.
Sure he was flawed. He had a bit of a temper. He was extremely self-deprecating and in Castiel’s opinion way too hard on himself. But he was also loving and kind. He was funny and smart, not to mention absolutely dreamy. Castiel’s heart ached thinking about it, about him.
But it was over. It was all a lie. They were right.
They said, "Someday you'll find
All who love are blind"
Oh-oh-oh-oh
The ambulance flew past, startling Castiel out of his daydream. “Jesus Christ!” He gasped, watching the vehicle speed ahead, towards the cop car. Must be a wreck. He jumped when another cop passed, followed closely by a fire truck. A bad wreck.
Castiel waited, figuring he should give them time to get to what he assumed was a wreck before he got back on the road. He leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and listened to the song play on, wishing it didn’t speak to him the way it was.
When your heart's on fire
You must realize
Smoke gets in your eyes
So, I chaffed them
As I gaily laughed
To think they would doubt our love
The rain began to pick up and he put the car into drive, hoping to get back to his motel before it got too bad. As he gets closer to the scene he can make out dark smoke looming in the air. Car must have caught fire. Damn, I hope they are ok.
He finally approached the wreck, just as the paramedics were unloading a gurney. He got into the farthest lane away and slowed to almost a crawl. A young cop was standing in the middle of the road and motioned for him to continue on past. Castiel smiled at her and she waved.
Letting his curiosity get the best of him he snuck one last peak back to see the car. His foot immediately leapt over to the brake as he watched the firefighters entering the car, pulling off the bent and broken door of a ‘67 Chevy Impala in the process.
“No.” He whispered.
Without sparing so much as a second to think he was pulling the car over again. He threw it in park, not even bothering to turn off the ignition or even the blaring radio, and by the time his brain had caught up to his body, he was walking towards the incident.
Yet today, my love has gone away
I am without my love (without my love)
Now, laughing friends deride
Tears, I cannot hide
Oh-oh-oh-oh
“Dean…” he managed, feeling almost lightheaded as he was stopped by another officer.
So, I smile and say
“Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to stay back, please. Sir!?” She said, trying her best to stop Castiel from getting any closer.
"When a lovely flame dies…”
“Dean.” Castiel mumbled again. The woman struggled against him and turned to the other cops for help. “Dean!”
“…Smoke gets in your eyes"
“You know him?” The woman said, finally understanding what he was saying. Castiel didn’t answer, just continued to fight against the two cops now holding him.
A car comes speeding down the road and stops at the wreck. Two blondes, Castiel recognized them from the bar, got out and rushed towards them. “Jody…” the older woman cried, and the officer quickly pulled her into a hug. “…my god, how bad is it? Is he…” her voice broke and she started sobbing.
Smoke gets in your eyes
The younger blonde spotted Castiel, and stepped toward him. “You’re Cas, aren’t you?” She whispered so the other women wouldn’t hear. He nodded and she smiled knowingly.
Smoke gets in your eyes
Out of view of any of them, the paramedics get Dean into the ambulance. The doors slammed shut and the driver hurried to the front. “Can I go with him?” The older blonde asked through her tears. The driver nodded and opened the side door allowing her to step up.
Castiel looked up just in time to see Dean’s bloodied body lying motionless on the gurney. A woman was working tirelessly over him, attaching wires and tubes and cutting his clothes off. Castiel felt his chest tighten with fear, mind swirling with confused questions and bursts of guilt. Was he part of this? Did he cause it, or even just enable it to happen? Would a bad goodbye really be the last thing Dean would remember of him? Could he have prevented the whole thing by just talking to him before leaving that bar?
Smoke gets in your eyes…
The ambulance driver shut the door behind the older woman and climbed into the front. Castiel watched as it pulled away from them and took off down the road. The loud siren was almost muffled out by his own heart pounding in his ears. His world was spinning and he felt dizzy. The younger blonde touching his arm pulled him back to earth and he blinked away tears as he focused on her.
“Do you love him?” She asked. Her eyes stared into his, as if searching for the answer before he could speak it.
“Yes.” Castiel said, his voice small and broken. He wasn’t sure what hurt more, the confession that regardless of how much Dean had hurt him he still loved him, or the fact that he might never get to tell him.
“Jo…” the officer said, turning her attention back to the young blonde, as well as Castiel. “…do you know this man?”
“Uh… yeah.” Jo lied. “We went to high school together… him and Dean were pretty close…” she eyed Cas with a matter-of-fact look that somehow contained the words play along or else. “Right Cas?”
“Yes! My apologies for not just saying something to begin with. I just saw his car and I panicked.” Jody glanced between the two before finally extending a hand out to Castiel.
“Alright. Jo, tell your momma I’ll be there as soon as possible.” The sheriff said, straightening her hat and starting towards the totaled Impala.
“Yes, ma’am!” Jo smiled.
Cas felt like he had been hit by a train as he turned to walk back to his rental car. “Wait.” Jo called. “Are you going to the hospital?” Castiel opened his mouth, but couldn’t speak. He didn’t know if him being there would make things better or worse. Maybe Dean wouldn’t even want him there. Jo could sense his uncertainty and scoffed. “Look, I know he screwed up… but if you really love him, you’ll be there.” She turned and walked away before he could respond, leaving him alone.
For a second, he turned back to look at the smashed-in front of Dean’s beloved car, watching the smoke still wafting out of it and getting a face-full of it in the process. His eyes watered with the contact, tears streaking down his cheeks even more than they had before. Then, slowly he turned away.
Smoke gets in your eyes