Work Text:
The tradition started the first year after Inej had sailed away and Nina and Matthias had returned to the city for the winter. When they all realised Kaz had given them Nuyttjaar gifts that he’d pickpocketed. Initially they’d been pleasantly surprised that he’d even followed the tradition of giving a gift on the New Year, but then Jesper opened his new wallet and realised it had someone else’s initials monogrammed in the corner. They had all returned their gift to Brekker; a message, he should respect the tradition of giving well thought out gifts or he should not partake at all.
Only Inej saw the dejection each returned object brought, but Kaz at least got the message. The next year he had spent real money on a gift for each of them. Small, noticeably hard to return, gifts.
That was when Matthias suggested a way to meet Kaz’s efforts part way – a game he’d played as a child which he felt could be applicable in this situation.
“We would all bring a gift. We used to play with acorns but I think it works with gifts. The idea of the game was to show us not to covet what wasn’t ours… but I think it will do the opposite here.”
Nina had given Matthias a firm kiss on the cheek for the suggestion and the underlying notion that he was offering up a part of his childhood traditions for them all to ‘corrupt’.
The basic concept was quite simple, although as the years passed the way they played got a lot more elaborate. The basics remained the same: each of them brought one, wrapped, gift to the Van Eck manor on the 1st day of Twalfhaanpen, the month that ended in Nuyttjaar night. They then all chose one gift – that they did not bring – and unwrap it. In the original version Matthias first suggested, the unwrapping happened in an order, and each subsequent person could choose to ‘steal’ someone else’s already unwrapped present rather than unwrap a new one, and each gift could only be ‘stolen’ up to twice. This seemed a little tame, so instead they agreed – after a long and, occasionally, loud discussion – that they had until the new year celebration night to actually steal the gift they most wanted from whoever had unwrapped it.
This had the added bonus that, to make it at least reasonable, Nina and Inej had to stay in Ketterdam for that month – to allow the others the opportunity to steal from them.
As their tradition developed, so did the present buying methods. It became an unspoken rule that each person bought a gift ‘for themselves’ so that everyone had at least one option they’d like to steal back.
“The real gift is getting to spend time together!” Jesper exclaimed, his hand placed over his heart in mock sincerity. Wylan threw a very plush cushion at him.
This year was really no different.
They say around the dining table at the Van Eck manor, gifts sitting in the middle of the table and in various levels of ‘wrapping’. Wylan, Inej and Matthias tended to manage to neatly wrap whatever shaped parcel they had. Kaz, Nina and Jesper presented haphazardly wrapped items – Jesper’s seemed to have no fewer than 3 different types of wrapping paper.
“Is everyone ready?” Marya asked, she seemed to enjoy overseeing (some) of the proceedings just as much as they enjoyed playing. She covered the table with a small cloth and rearranged the presents. “You can take your starter gift… now!” She removed the cloth and each Crow took the gift now placed in front of them.
Wylan opened a lovely revolved holster.
Kas unwrapped a ring, with a delicate stone set into it.
Nina got a beautiful new flute. “Ah, finally you can all experience my musical talents!”
“Please,” Matthias stage whispered. “Whoever is getting the flute, steal it quickly.”
Matthias then opened a thick silk scarf which had a spectrum of colours, notably including something close to the red of a Coporalki kefta.
Jesper got a simple but expertly drawn picture of a wolf, managing to look both fierce and playful.
Inej also got a ring, this one was thicker but had ornate carvings creating a small pattern all the way around.
Let the games begin.
Wylan
He had made multiple small plans so that he was ready for this year. Thinking through the various scenarios of people he might need to steal from and how he might go about doing it.
What chemical could he use to get through the doors of Nina and Matthias’ apartment? Leaving minimal damage, he didn’t want to leave them without a lock for a long period of time, maybe Jesper could fix it.
If he was going to need to steal from Jesper. Well. The man was easily distracted, especially by Wylan. He could also think of a few solid trades he could make in exchange for Jesper simply giving him what he wanted… most of them involved giving Jesper what he wanted (or, perhaps, making Jesper beg).
He'd probably need to get onto Inej’s ship, if he wanted whatever she unwrapped, but that was fine. When it was docked he didn’t visit infrequently and, whilst Inej loved this tradition, she often only really challenge Kaz to truly steal the item. Everyone else just had to make sure to spend at least a few days spending time with her and their gift would mysteriously appear in their house at some point.
Wylan had long accepted that he had two options when it came to Kaz; accept that he was never going to have his gift, or simply ask to have it. That had been a revelation from a few years ago.
“Wylan, please stop trying to break into my office. It’s very tedious.” Kaz had said sharply, on opening the offending office door as Wylan had been applying a slight corrosive to the wood. “I spent quite a lot on this varnish, you know.”
“It’s tedious for you, is it? I’m the one who needs to get that paint set that I can literally see sitting on the side of your cabinet.”
Kaz stepped aside, letting Wylan through to sit on one of the leather chairs opposite his desk. He also wordlessly offered him a drink. “Would you rather I used it? I assure you I’m better at appreciating art than I am at making it.”
“I’d rather you gave it to me. Seriously, can I have it please?”
Kaz shrugged. “Ok.”
Wylan paused for what felt like a solid minute. “That’s it, ‘ok’?”
“It’s more use to you than it is to me, as you pointed out, I’m never going to use it.”
“Are you going to demand my first-born as payment or something?”
“I don’t have any use for a paint set, I can’t imagine I’d have any more use for a child.”
“Right. Well, thanks, I guess.” Wylan slightly raised the glass in Kaz’s direction, the man who he had once deeply feared returned the gesture.
Later, he had simply walked out with the paint set under his arm. A job well done. He’d let Jesper believe he’d stolen it.
Having learned that lesson, the simplicity of stating what you want and finding an easy way to get it, Wylan decided to ignore all of his previous plans and went for the obvious Mercher route – Bribery. Later he would learn that he’d been swindled: Nina would have given him the flute for much fewer waffles.
Nina
It took embarrassingly little time for Nina to successfully ‘steal’ her gift back from Matthias. Perhaps they should introduce a rule about not letting people steal from their partners… but then that would probably ruin some of Wylan and Jesper’s foreplay.
And some of hers.
She let it settle for a few days, she knew Matthias had hidden it somewhere in their rented apartment – the same one they always booked out for the Ketterdam stays.
Matthias had gone out to buy them some food; a loaf of bread, some cheese, and if he was smart, some waffles smothered in syrup just for her. The syrup would make them tasty even if she ate them cold, and she was pretty confident she would.
“Nina, my love…” Matthias closed the door behind him, looked up, and stopped saying whatever it was he’d been going to say. Instead, his voice slightly more strained than it had been mere seconds ago, he said “why are you wearing so little?”
“Do you remember, years ago, when I explained about the Princess and the Barbarian?” Nina batted her eyelashes at him and he swallows.
“Yes. I… I remember.”
“Good.”
Nina pulled Matthias into her and heard in him groan as her body pushed against his. For the rest of the evening Nina took them through a selection of scenes from the famously erotic story that was popular in parts of Ravka.
Towards the end, she asked for a blindfold.
“It needs to be a good, thick, silk. Either completely black or really colourful.”
As she’d hoped, Matthias immediately pulled her scarf out from one of the bottom drawers next to the bed. She could have sworn she’d checked there.
“Will this do?” Matthias asked, so earnestly.
“Of course, my Princess.” She smiled at him as he blushed.
She was pleased to discover that her new scarf was also long enough to tie even the thickest of wrists together. And Matthias didn’t notice when she put her new scarf back into her own belongings.
Matthias
Jesper. Matthias spent a few weeks formulating a complex and categorised plan to get his hand-crafted wolf picture back.
Step 1: Lull Jesper into a false sense of security by spending time with him.
Step 2: Scope out the place Jesper might keep his work.
Step 3: Get his present.
He and Jesper spent several days touring the fashion district – although Matthias did have to query if any of the items he had seen could be considered ‘fashion’. In some cases he wasn’t even entirely sure if it was clothing.
The days with Jesper were actually a lot of fun, Matthias had found over the years that whilst they didn’t share a the same level of extroversion; he and Jesper had very similar senses of humour. In the end they invented a game to play as they window shopped – they had to pick what they felt was the worst item and make the other person try it on. The difference between what each man considered ‘worst’ was stark, but hilarious. Matthias was sure there were very few people in the world he’d let see him dressed in fuchsia and marmalade polka-dot jodhpurs.
He'd spent four days doing various activities with Jesper. Finally he was going for his first visit to the Van Eck manor specifically to case it out. He also got a nice meal with Nina, Jesper and Wylan out of it. He gently dismissed himself to ‘use the amenities’ in order to look around, see if he could find where Jesper had hidden the picture. Then in a few more visits he’d be able to lift it, perhaps swap it for something else so Jesper wouldn’t notice.
Except he couldn’t find it anywhere. What on earth had Jesper done with it?
He visited more and more regularly, multiple times a day. He could not find his picture. Nina was finding his frustration around his ruined plan very amusing.
They eventually went round to just for a meal, no ulterior motives that day – Matthias had had enough.
They retired to the sun lounge room after they’d eaten, Matthias gently picked up a book he’d noticed on the side a few times. Out fell his wolf picture.
“That’s where that went!” Jesper exclaimed. “I was getting worried that I’d actually lost it.”
Naturally he hadn’t factored in the fact that even Jesper wouldn’t know where he’d put the gift. Matthias looked him straight in the eyes. “To quote important Kerch law; finders keepers.”
Jesper
A lot of kisses and… some more-than-kisses later. Wylan simply gave him the holster. Apparently Jesper wearing nothing but his holsters was worth it.
Kaz and Inej
They didn’t talk about it. They didn’t even try to steal the relevant gift. The healthy way to manage the impending conversation they both knew was coming.
It got to Nuyttjaar Eve, the last day to get their gift before it was forfeited.
“What business?” Kaz’s voice was casual as he addressed what to most people would simply look like his dark attic room.
“I have been thinking of a deal I can offer to get my gift.” The shadows replied.
“I have been thinking of a similar sort of offer. But we should get terms out of the way, the Queen of Ravka has expressed her approval of the deal I’m offering – although apparently if she wasn’t ‘madly in love’ with the Prince Consort I’d have made a good fling.”
Inej laughed the laugh.
“You and the Queen is sort of a scary thought if I’m honest, utterly ruthless.”
“It would be an international concern. But I think I prefer pirates when it comes to political alliances.”
“You’ve yet to give me the terms of any alliance.”
“Ah, yes.”
Had their been onlookers, they would have been too scared to mentioned that Dirtyhands appeared to be blushing.
“My suggestion is that we join our financial accounts, personal property and, as a means of consolidating power, legally bind ourselves to each other. As a proof of my intention to keep this plan, I’ll give you a ring of considerable value as collateral.”
Inej reached out to touch his un-gloved hand, smiling softly.
“You could also suffer some losses from this, I also have a ring you can use as collateral. I accept the terms of this deal, although there might be some fine print about having some actual moments of romance.”
“Romance has no place in a business deal.”
“What about in a marriage?”
“I suppose within those bounds it would be acceptable, dearest.”
The annual Nuyttjaar party at Wylan and Jesper’s house was especially joyous – and chaotic – that year.