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Josh snatches the beer Toby sets down on the coffee table as soon as it hits the coaster all the while annotating in the margins of the latest briefing memo he was trying to finish before bed. He sets the beer down and readjusts his glasses that were dangerously close to slipping off the perch on his nose before capping the highlighter and pen in his hand throwing them and the memo on the coffee table.
“I thought you wanted to finish that before bed,” Toby asks as he scribbles in the margins of one of his student’s essays.
Shrugging Josh ambles off the couch and heads towards the kitchen in search of a late-night snack, “I just kept reading the same sentence over and over I’ll just finish the last few pages before staff tomorrow,” he says as he snags some of the leftover chicken wings from earlier.
Josh is halfway to the couch when he hears a rock ricochet off his townhouse window and has the front door open before he even registers what he’s doing. Before Josh can get any words out he feels Philip, one of his agents on duty push him back through the door, “stay inside sir,” Philip rushes out before closing and locking it from the outside.
“You can’t do that Josh,” Toby bristles steering Josh away from the entryway and back towards the living room.
Taking a swig of beer Josh mutters, “I think I can handle a rock Toby,” around a mouthful of wing.
“How can you be sure it’s just a rock Josh,” Toby says grabbing a wing for himself before picking up another essay.
Josh feels his jaw tighten, can feel the vein in his neck protrude the tiniest bit like it does when he’s stressed, annoyed, or a combination of both. “Don’t you hate this?” Josh asks waving his arm around.
Toby readjusts his glasses underlining a section of the student’s paper while writing notes on the bottom on the importance of including factual supporting information letting out a small huff, “yes I do in fact hate these kids writing Josh and let me tell you if he’s an example of what the next generation of political minds promises we are in trouble.”
Josh rolls his eyes and pinches Toby’s shoulder, “you know what I mean asshole. You don’t find this stifling? I mean we can’t even go to the market without it being a whole production,” Josh says throwing his hands up.
“Why yes I very much hate the protocols keeping you safe. I already found you bleeding to death once and let me tell you once is more than enough,” Toby grinds out flipping the essay he was reading over and slapping a grade on it before picking up the next one.
Josh clucks his tongue swallowing down the suspiciously large lump in his throat, “that’s…now that’s not fair Toby.”
“Because you and I are so well versed in what’s fair and not fair right? Because neither of us have had to deal with more than most would have to,” Toby says grabbing the beer out of Josh’s hand for himself.
Before Josh can formulate a response back, he hears the front door click open and watches Philip walk into the living room. Josh watches the way Philip’s eyes dart back and forth between him and Toby almost knowing he’s interrupted something.
Philip simply clears his throat before saying, “it was just a drunk college student, nothing to worry about. But it’s important Mr. Lyman that in the future you wait inside before we’ve given you all clear.”
“You can call me Josh,” Josh says in an exasperated tone while roughly running his hand through what’s left of his curls.
Philip nods even though Josh knows he won’t call him Josh while on duty ever and Josh just mentally adds it to the list of things that exasperate him now, “do you understand,” Philip asks again.
Josh just nods and watches Philip quietly slip back out the door and Josh finishes the last wing before getting up and stalking towards the main suite. He’s halfway through brushing his teeth when he hears Toby pulling the bedding down for the night. Josh kills the light cloaking the room in darkness on his way to the bed and quietly slips into his customary side of the bed.
Josh’s eyes have just slipped closed when he feels Toby slip his knee between Josh’s while hooking his arm around Josh’s hips protectively. Josh just sighs and squeezes Toby’s hand warmly.
“I know you like your independence Josh so do I. But knowing your safe, especially since we don’t work together anymore, well I’d be lying if I said I’m not grateful for that,” Toby says trailing a line of kisses down Josh’s nape.
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Toby stops by Josh’s office frowning a bit when he finds it empty, but quickly throws down his briefcase and winter coat on the couch before backtracking towards Sam’s office. He smiles warmly at Ginger leaning in for a quick hug as she exits Sam’s office.
“Toby,” Ginger squeals wrapping her arms around Toby’s midsection and hanging on for a big squeeze.
Toby lets out a small grunt, “does Sam have a few minutes?”
“Yea he’s just about done here he was going to get ready for the holiday party in the Mural Room,” Ginger replies before sitting down and getting to work typing furiously at her workstation.
“Try not to work too hard and I’ll see you at the party later,” Toby says neatening Ginger’s desk up a bit not proceeding towards Sam’s office until she nods her head and smiles warmly back at him.
Sam is just starting to close the various folders strewn across his desk and putting them in his briefcase when Toby throws himself into one of the visitor chairs in front of Sam’s desk.
“I don’t know how Josh did it Toby,” Sam mutters while quickly massaging his temples.
Toby barks out a laugh, “it helped that he had no life and a compulsive need to fix anything and everything, I’m sure.”
Sam just sighs in response, “sometimes I feel like this is the Orange County election all over again,” Sam says shrugging.
“Josh won’t let you fail Sam,” Toby says fondly, warmly taking in the new wrinkle lines appearing across Sam’s forehead and around his eyes—lines that weren’t there three months ago. Toby knows Josh has similar stress lines appearing all over and it feels like a punch to the gut.
Sam slips his glasses off and busies himself with cleaning them studiously ignoring Toby’s direction, “he has enough to do without worrying about me. Leo, I know Leo didn’t have to explain any of this to Josh.”
“If it makes you feel any better Josh really does think you are doing a good job Sam,” Toby says dipping his head to catch Sam’s elusive glance.
Toby can see Sam’s ears pink at the praise, “I actually wanted to talk to you about Josh,” Toby says as a segue way.
“Oh, so you aren’t here to massage my ego,” Sam says laughing going back to gathering the various memos and briefing books.
Rolling his eyes Toby mutters, “you and Josh really are cut from the same cloth,” before sobering and leaning down to rest his elbows on his knees, “does Josh seem alright to you?”
Cocking his head to the side Sam regards Toby for a moment—takes in the way his lips are pressed into a thin line, can see the tense ways his shoulders are hunched, “he’s seemed a bit…on edge,” Sam says choosing his words carefully.
Nodding Toby gets up and starts pacing the length of the office, an office he used to know like the back of his hand, but Sam’s moved the furniture around, opted for a larger desk on the side wall, added a sitting area by the window, “it’s just you see him more than I do,” Toby laughs devoid of any of the usual warmth.
“You know he and I fought? Before the inauguration I didn’t want him to take the Chief of Staff job. I wanted to move back to New York it was selfish, but I was so pissed that Josh didn’t even consider it,” Toby said coming to rest idly in front of the window.
Sam puts his briefcase down and comes to stand next to Toby at the window, “he really has tried to cut back his hours is this what this is about?” Sam asks waving his hand around the space between them.
Shaking his head Toby bites his lip before saying, “he just doesn’t seem happy here…he, he complains about the protection detail all the time and we never leave the house. It’s not a life Sam.”
“The detail is an adjustment. I know he’s complained about it to Santos but I’ve heard Ron say he’s settling into it a bit. You just have to give it time Toby. I do know he’s trying,” Sam says squeezing Toby’s shoulder.
Whatever Toby was going to say is swallowed up when he turns in time to see Donna come barreling into Sam’s office wearing the widest grin he’s seen. Donna breathlessly rushes out, “you have to come quick and see Josh with the dog the Santos’ just brought home.”
By the time Donna, Sam, and Toby wind their way back towards the Oval Ronna isn’t even trying to play usher to the revolving door of staffers who want a peek at the new dog. She just takes one look at the trio and waves them in, “I’d say be brief but no one else has listened so.”
Donna is giddy with excitement as she opens the door and the trio barrels into the office. The President and Mrs. Santos turn in time to see them all rush in while Miranda and Peter both crowd Josh’s lap where the puppy is busy alternating between barking and licking Josh’s face.
Toby watches Donna fish her phone out snapping pictures while Sam doubles over in laughter by the couch but Toby’s eyes don’t leave Josh’s face. Josh who is oblivious to the three of them being here at all, Josh who is too busy scratching behind the dog’s big floppy ears to pay any attention to anything beyond the small circle of puppy, Peter, and Miranda.
Even though Toby can’t see much of Josh’s face he’s certain there must be a dimpled smile spread out across his face if his boneless, tension free upper body is anything to go by. Toby watches Josh gently place the black and brown beagle puppy in Miranda’s lap while leaning down to whisper something softly in the ear closest to him and Toby involuntarily closes his eyes momentarily.
It’s the most carefree Toby’s seen Josh in years. Toby briefly catches the President’s eyes crinkled in mirth before he walks over to Josh to help him up.
“Think the suits ruined Josh,” Mr. President says gleefully while Josh attempts to rub off the worst of the dog hair.
Shrugging Josh says, “thanks for letting me come sir. I’ll just uh go change and see everyone at the party,” he says guiding Toby towards his office throwing over his shoulder, “and Donna those photos don’t go online,” before shutting and locking his office door.
Toby goes to Josh’s closet and grabs the spare suit he keeps there, “you’ll have to bring in another spare tomorrow,” which Toby thinks bitterly is just a testament to all the late nights Josh has been spending in the White House. He wisely keeps that to himself though.
Josh grimaces as he folds up his slacks, dress shirt, and blazer putting them neatly next to Toby’s briefcase and jacket. Sighing Josh sits heavily on the couch in his office negotiating his legs through the navy slacks.
Josh tracks Toby’s footsteps on the other side of the office, watches him briefly stop at the bookcase and trace his hands over the photo from Bartlett’s first inauguration, sees Toby pick up and put down another photo of Josh from his Bar Mitzvah, watches Toby’s lips curl upward at the picture of Josh with his mom from his law school graduation.
“I like this one the best,” Josh whispers thrusting a framed picture into Toby’s hands his eyes never leaving Toby’s face.
Josh watches the surprise flutter across his weathered features, “I didn’t know you kept that here,” Toby says rubbing his thumb over the framed picture of him and Josh from the vacation they’d taken to Greece after Santos won the election. In the photo Josh has his arm thrown over Toby’s shoulder leaning in for a kiss that they’d had another tourist take.
They look happy. Toby wonders if they’ve been happy at any point since then.
Toby looks up then, sees Josh finishing buttoning up his charcoal dress shirt and before he can think better of it blurts out, “have you been happy since we got back stateside?”
Toby wants to take the words back as soon as they wind their way past his windpipe, wants to shove the insecurities back down at the look of raw hurt that passes and settles across Josh’s face—that same face that twenty minutes ago had looked nothing but radiant and carefree.
Josh tentatively steps into Toby’s inner space brushes his fingertips gently across Toby’s cheekbones, “I know this isn’t what you wanted. I know my schedule is still fucked up and we spend more time seeing each other in small increments but Toby, god Toby everyday I’m with you I’m happy.”
Josh buries his head in the side of Toby’s shoulder and takes a shuddering breath saying, “just give me a bit more time. I know I have to better manage my time and delegate a bit more I just need more time.”
Toby’s hands naturally fold around Josh’s body in a way that just feels second nature at this point, “Josh I’m not, this isn’t me giving you an ultimatum it’s just you seem stressed and on edge and you won’t tell me how to help you.”
Josh hugs Toby tighter can feel the strangled sob itching to break free, “I never thought I’d be doing this without Leo, but these aren’t your fights anymore,” Josh says before Toby interrupts him.
“Your fights are my fights,” Toby says squeezing Josh one last time breaking apart and using the pads of his thumb to rub away the few errant tears slipping past.
Josh sucks in a set of ragged breaths before nodding and dipping his head down to capture Toby’s lips in a quick kiss.
“The party’s going to start soon we should head down make sure Donna hasn’t shown the entire staff those photos,” Toby says grabbing Josh’s hand in his and leading them towards the Mural Room.
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Toby grabs another flute of champagne and a few of the bacon crostini’s Josh seems to have liked so much scanning the room to find where he is. He quickly spots him in the corner talking to Sam and Donna but before he can make his way over there Mrs. Santos stops him in his tracks.
Mrs. Santos tosses him a napkin for the appetizers for which Toby is grateful, “perhaps you and I aren’t that much different Toby,” Mrs. Santos said finishing her wine, setting the glass down on the table.
Closing his eyes briefly Toby counts to ten before smiling at the First Lady, “I’m not sure I follow ma’am.”
The First Lady releases a short, stilted laugh her eyes scanning the room before settling into a warm smile as she spots her kids across the room, “well it’s just neither one of us really wanted Matt to run and now neither one of us sees our significant other all that much,” Mrs. Santos says wringing her hands out.
Toby shifts uncomfortably, “I didn’t so much have a problem with him running ma’am,” he starts.
“But you don’t like Josh working in the administration which you had to know would have happened if Josh took over the campaign. The reputation of Josh never finding a underdog he didn’t like precedes him,” the First Lady says smirking.
Toby takes a sip of the champagne wishing desperately it was something stronger—like whisky—so he could block this conversation out, “politics is Josh’s..”
“Life. I know Toby,” Mrs. Santos says letting out a genuine laugh, “I also do know Donna said after the New Year Josh is bringing on a few extra advisors. The point is I know this is hard Toby, but that man thinks the world of you.”
Toby lets his eyes wander back over to Josh can see him looking back at him with a tilt of his head and a guarded look in his eyes. Toby picks up a new flute of champagne and stuffs the appetizers into his coat pocket; he’d just made his getaway when he feels the First Lady slip a card into his pocket but that’s a problem for future Toby as he just wants to get back over to Josh without any more interruptions.
Toby enjoys the way Josh’s eyes rove over his body; he recognizes it as the same hungry look Toby used to admire Josh’s body back in his office.
(And if Toby sucks a bit harder than strictly necessary when bottoming out in Josh when Josh whines out that he’s his just so he can watch Josh whine and try and cover up the mark tomorrow—to little avail—that’s no one’s business but his own. After all this past year has been nothing but trying his patience so really Josh has no one to blame but himself.)
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Toby is puttering around the townhouse a few days later when he finds the card Mrs. Santos had slipped into his pocket. He was busy separating the laundry after submitting his end of year grades waiting for Josh to get home when he comes across the card for the dog shelter the Santos family had used when picking out their puppy.
Toby remembers how happy Josh had looked playing with the puppy; how carefree and joyful he had been while playing with the dog and Toby also remembers the way Josh had been insufferable in the week leading up to the Santos family bringing the dog home—he had dropped all these facts about dogs and dog ownership into every conversation he could and how Toby had just rolled his eyes thinking it was just another hyper fixation of his. And to be fair Toby always indulges Josh in his hyper fixations—whether it be space, physics, constitutional law or yes dogs because Toby refuses to be one of those people in Josh’s life who just brushes off the things Josh likes simply because he cycles through passions a bit faster than everyone else and they go deeper than others.
But anyways Toby just assumed it was another phase, but Toby slips the card into his jeans pocket getting an idea before setting off to get a load of laundry done before Josh gets home.
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Toby slips out of the townhouse with a thermos and wordlessly passes it to Phillip, scuffing his shoe on the snow-covered pavement. He watches Phillip smile gratefully before scrunching up his brows at Toby’s continued presence and clears his throat.
“I’ll keep this brief,” which Toby notes Phillip seems grateful for, “if I got Josh a dog would that be an issue?”
Phillip coughs a bit seemingly startled by the question, “sir...” he says trailing off.
“Like would it be an issue for Josh to go out and walk the dog, go to the park,” Toby adds “because I don’t want to introduce a dog if we just have to keep it cooped up all the time. That wouldn’t be fair to us or our neighbors” Toby says laughing.
Phillip puts the thermos down pulling his coat tighter to his chest before digging his hands into his suit pockets, “we’re just here to protect Josh. Nothing is keeping him confined to his townhouse. Ron told me it would be an adjustment for someone like Josh and I have tried to make it as easy and harmless as possible. So, the short answer is no there’s no protocol barring Josh from having a dog.”
Toby nods, “I know Josh can be,” Toby starts searching for the right word to capture the dynamicism of Josh, a word to explain to Phillip how Toby sees Josh.
“Difficult,” Phillip supplies and Toby just shakes his head because Josh isn’t difficult. Yes, he can be strong willed and hard to contain but there’s no malicious undercurrent to it.
“I was going to say reticent. It’s just it was a lot of change at once he really means well,” Toby surmises blowing warm air between his hands as the coldness seeps into his bones.
Toby watches Phillip smile briefly before heading for the door throwing over his shoulder, “I can’t thank you enough for keeping him safe,” before shutting the door and winding his way up to the second-floor suite shutting off various lights as he goes.
Josh shifts around in bed so he’s facing Toby as he slips beneath the covers. Josh throws an arm over Toby’s shoulder burrowing as close as he can to Toby.
Tony can faintly make out the outline of Josh’s body in the moonlight seeping through the bedroom curtains—can see the faint slope of his nose, can see the way his brows keep furrowing and unfurrowing, can make out the way his broad shoulders are slumped.
Toby waits Josh out and sure enough a few minutes later Josh whispers out, “is everything okay? You were outside awhile.”
Toby reaches out to brush some wayward curls away from Josh’s face before sweeping the pad of his thumb beneath Josh’s cheekbones, “I just brought Phillip some coffee Josh.”
Josh shrugs scooching impossibly closer to Toby’s chest, “you’ve been secretive ever since I got home, and I saw you looking at some card before dinner.”
Toby leans down and places a chaste kiss to Josh’s nose before bumping it against his cheek, “I promise Josh everything’s fine. Go to sleep I know you have Dr. Weeks before work tomorrow.”
Josh looks as if he wants to say something else but, in the end, just clicks his mouth shut laying his head down on Toby’s chest and settles for tracing idle patters across Toby’s bare torso until he falls asleep a half hour later.
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Toby has just finished setting everything up the next evening when he hears Josh wish Phillip a good night as he closes the door and throws the lock into place.
“I’m home,” Josh yells out and Toby can hear him putting his coat away, can hear the clunking oh his keyring hitting the trinket tray CJ had gifted them when they’d moved in together.
Toby slips onto the couch yelling back, “we’re in here.”
“Who’s we,” Josh calls back and Toby wants to laugh at the exasperation that seeps into Josh’s voice before adding, “I was looking forward to takeout and several make out sessions on the couch…” Josh says trailing off as he crosses the threshold into the living room.
Josh’s eyebrows shoot up into his hairline (well what’s left of it anyways) and his eyes dart between the small puppy on the area rug and Toby on the couch.
Josh swallows not once, not twice, but three times before taking a tentative step into the room stopping just shy of the rug.
Toby watches, fascinated, by the way Josh outstretches his hand towards the puppy only to pull back suddenly his face flushing pink when the dog yelps loudly.
Smiling Toby levers himself up from the couch crouching down to pick up the puppy bringing them over to Josh. He grabs one of Josh’s hands encouraging him to pet the dog.
“She won’t bite Josh,” Toby says laughing before passing the dog gently over to Josh.
Josh cradles her to his chest, no doubt ruining another suit, but Toby thinks it’s worth it as the small, tentative smile appears on Josh’s face as he begins scratching behind the dogs floppy ears.
“Come sit,” Toby says patting the vacant seat on the couch next to him.
Josh sits on the couch folding one of his legs underneath his body as he continues to pet the dogs black and gold fur stealing a glance at Toby, “I don’t get it Toby.”
Rolling his eyes Toby replies, “it’s exactly what it looks like Josh I promise.”
“But how, when,” Josh fires back laughing as the dog takes to licking his palm.
Shrugging Toby takes the dog into his lap playing with his collar before rubbing at her belly as she flops over on the couch, “well you’ve liked dogs for a while now. And you looked so happy a few weeks ago when the President brought home his dog so,” Toby says shrugging.
Josh stretches his hand out playing with one of the puppy’s paws, his face lighting up at the bark yelp she lets out, “but what about,” Josh says gesturing to his detail outside.
“If the President can figure it out I think we can too Josh,” Toby says snaking his hand out and grabbing the hand not playing with the puppy in his own.
Josh nods picking up one of the dogs’ toys on the carpet waving in front of the dog’s face before throwing it across the room laughing at the way the dog jumps after it. Josh’s lips curl into a smirk as the dog drops the toy at his feet and he throws it across the room again before sneaking a glance at Tony’s knowing face.
Josh kneels on the couch settling in Toby’s lap his face inches away from Toby’s, “it’s funny because Dr. Weeks mentioned uh needing to get out more. Something about not hiding away from the world or whatever,” Josh says bumping his nose against Toby’s.
“Sounds like a smart lady,” Toby says tapping out a tune across Josh’s hip.
Josh nods dipping his head down to capture Toby’s lips in his enjoying the hint of peppermint and smoke.
Josh feels the couch dip on the other side and laughs, “I think we have an audience now,” against Toby’s lips.
Toby squeezes Josh’s hips, “you always were an exhibitionist Joshua,” laughing at the playful way Josh swats his shoulders before detangling himself and picking the puppy up.
“I draw the line at him sleeping in the bed though” Toby says as Josh cuddles the dog to his chest.
Josh just smirks nodding his head while scratching behind the puppy’s ears and Toby knows that argument isn’t remotely over.
(And when Lucille hops up onto the bed that night and tilts her puppy head when Toby points to her dog bed on the other side of the room and sees Josh tilt his head and make his eyes impossibly bigger, he knows he’s well and truly lost that battle.)