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epiphany.
but you dream of some epiphany
just one single glimpse of relief
to make some sense of what you've seen
set during the order of the phoenix after Mr Weasley's attack. canon.
–
Christmas 1995.
Ginny Weasley sat in the chair near the fire at Grimmauld Place, She was watching the flames and how they were dancing. Twelve hours ago, she could not have imagined this was what the start of her holidays would look like.
She had just made the Quidditch team. She had been waiting for that moment since the first time she broke into the broom cupboard at The Burrow. At first, she was worried about going to the trials. She was worried about how it would seem, telling Hermione that she did not want ‘to seem like she had just jumped in Harry’s grave when his ban was not even warm yet’ . Hermione had told her it would be fine and to just go for it ‘as it was her time. She was not even sure she wanted to be a seeker but when Angelina came and told her she had made the team, she could not help but feel overjoyed. She knew at that moment she could not wait to tell her father.
Now, in the early hours of the morning, Ginny was back at Grimmauld Place after being shaken awake by Professor McGonagall and being told her dad had been attacked. When she pressed for more details, she found out Harry had seen it whilst asleep. Fred and George had questioned it but she believed him. She had always made a conscious effort to believe good people at face value, especially after her first year and with Harry.
Sirius had said they were not to go to St Mungos to see her Dad and after some resistance, she admitted defeat. She felt numb. Another time, maybe if she was younger she would have cried but now, being fourteen, she was trying to be strong. Because if she cried, everyone would rally around her, hug her, check if she was okay but it was not about her. It was about her Dad and if he would be okay. He had to be.
As for Harry Potter, he did not know quite where to place himself. He stood with Sirius, away from the Weasleys and tried to process what had just happened. He did not want to disturb them.
Fred had fallen into a light sleep and every now and again he would wake up before closing his eyes again. George was staring at the floor and held a position of being hunched over. Ron had his head in hands and Harry could not tell if he was awake or asleep. He did not want to find out either.
Ginny was sitting in the middle of the twins and was staring at the fire. She held a hard, blazing look like she was stopping herself from crying and was biting her lip. He thought she would draw blood if she carried on. He was amazed she was almost willing herself not to cry. It was almost a relief after all the crying from earlier with Cho.
A few moments passed and Ginny excused herself to go to the toilet. She heard the shrills of Sirius’ mother’s portrait but chose to ignore her. She walked into the bathroom. She ran to the toilet and threw up. She could not lose her father. Not now. She flushed the toilet and stood up. She splashed cold water on herself from the sink and looked in the mirror. It was dirty and rusting but she could make her reflection. She placed her cold hands on her face and wiped her hands.
She then walked back to where everyone was. Fred was drifting in and out of sleep. George had not moved. Ron had his head in hands. Sirius had his back against the wall. When he saw her, he gave her a small, reassuring smile and she returned it.
Then she saw Harry, who appeared to be deliberating standing away from the Weasleys. Like he should not be there. But he could have just saved her Dad’s life. Like he saved her life when she was eleven. Her Dad’s life was hanging in the balance but at least he was now in the hospital opposed to being on a cold hard floor, bleeding out. Not knowing if he would live or not.
Ginny had been watching Harry over the past few months. Not obsessively like she used to. She was watching him out of concern. Back in the summer, she did not like how Dumbledore was leaving him in the dark about everything but she knew better to think bad against the headmaster. He was like a walking time bomb but she could not blame him. She had heard him shouting plenty of times and she knew it upset Hermione - a lot. Ron was brushing it off. Ginny had told Hermione to imagine herself in Harry’s position and Hermione had relaxed. Both of them agreed that he would not be human if he was not acting this way - even if the world saw him as a figure, the boy who saved the wizarding community or now a deeply distrubed young person. Sometimes they just had to remind him that he was just Harry, who has been through a lot but is only fifteen and needs to remember to be fifteen years old.
She did not know what prompted her to do what she did next. Maybe it was her thought process of him just being young and still human but she walked over to him and hugged him. At first, he froze, like she had just stunned him (he would have known about it if she did) but after a moment, he returned the hug.
They pulled apart and she gave him a small smile ‘Thank you’ she said quietly. He looked at her, with an almost pained look but then nodded. She opened her mouth to say something but she could not find the words. She nodded too and returned back to her seat by the fire. She saw him glance over to her a few times but then too, like Fred, she found herself falling asleep…