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It had been three days since what you now referred to as ‘the incident’ had occurred. You hadn’t seen or spoken to Thomas since, though the fact that you hadn’t left your room in all that time probably contributed to that.
One of the great things about being dead was that you didn’t need to eat, shower, or go to the toilet, so you only really had to leave your room if you wanted to. And you certainly didn’t.
How were you supposed to face everyone now? They all had to have known what had happened by this point, and you would not blame them if they all took Thomas’ side. You’d hurt him, badly, and you couldn’t forgive yourself. The image of the tears streaming down his face haunted you, knowing it was you that had made him feel that way.
You took in another shaky sigh and rolled onto your side, wishing you could throw the blankets over yourself and hide under there forever.
“You have to come out eventually, love,” a voice said, and you almost screamed in shock before you opened your eyes and realised it was just Pat. “Shutting yourself away isn’t going to solve anything.”
“Neither is going out there, so I think I’ll take the less awkward option and keep to myself,” you replied defiantly, trying to ignore the expression of disappointment on Pat’s face.
“You and Thomas need to have a little chat about what happened the other day. He’s been awfully upset ever since your… disagreement.”
You rolled your eyes. “He’s always upset, Pat, that doesn’t seem like much of a change.”
Pat looked at you pointedly. He knew that this wasn’t really you, that it was just embarrassment and guilt over how things had transpired with Thomas. “You haven’t seen him, Y/N, he’s not himself. None of his usual dramatics, all he does is sit and stare out the window. Even Alison can barely get two words out of him.”
“Well if Alison can’t get through to him, then I very much doubt I can. She means far more to him than I ever could.” Tears began to form in your eyes again as you relived that moment for what had to be the millionth time. “Besides, he hates me now. After what I said, I could never…” A weak little sob escaped you, leaving you unable to finish your sentence.
“He doesn’t hate you, Y/N,” Pat told you, sitting down on the edge of the bed and looking at you sympathetically. “He wants to talk to you, to sort everything out.”
You shake your head, feeling the tears starting to fall. “I can’t fix this, Pat. I was so awful to him, I don’t know what came over me…”
“It can’t be easy to watch him pining over Alison all day,” he said, as you sat up on the bed and moved to sit beside him. “Love can hurt sometimes.”
Your eyes widened when what Pat had said truly sunk in. You thought that you’d always been subtle about your affections for Thomas. “Wait, how did you…?”
“I’ve seen the way you look at him, Y/N. It’s alright, but it means you need to go and talk to him. If you love him, you won’t want him to keep feeling this way,” Pat explained, and you knew that he was right. “You’ll never know if things can be different if you don’t try.”
“Yeah,” you said simply, and Pat gave you an encouraging pat on the back. “I’ll go and see him soon. I just need a minute.”
“Brilliant.”
There was the slightest hint of a smile on Pat’s face, and after a few moments, he left the room to give you the time you needed.
*
It wasn’t difficult for you to figure out where Thomas would be. Pat had said he was sitting and staring out the window, and you knew that had to mean he was in his 'sighing place’, next to the window in the library. When you entered the library, you found that your instincts had been exactly correct.
For a few moments, you simply stood there, wondering what on earth you were going to say to him. Thomas hadn’t noticed you yet, and you considered chickening out, leaving the room before he could see you standing there. You’d still come and speak to him, of course, just… later.
Before you got a chance to turn and run, Thomas happened to look away from the window and you saw his eyes widen as he realised it was you.
“Y/N,” he said, so quietly that you barely heard him. “Y/N, you’re here.”
“Um… yeah…” You felt so awkward, how were you supposed to make it up to him? You certainly weren’t expecting Thomas to rush over to you and embrace you in his arms. “Thomas…?” you stammered, not making the move to return the hug.
This had never happened before. You and Thomas were close, but you’d never really touched aside from your hands occasionally brushing against each other when you were sitting together. So many feelings welled up inside of you that all you could do was burst into tears again.
“My sincerest apologies, Y/N!” Thomas was quick to remove his arms from you, taking a significant step back. The devastated expression on his face nearly broke your heart all over again.
"No… no, don’t apologise, Thomas, I just wasn’t expecting it…” You wiped some of your tears away, but it didn’t accomplish much, because they were quickly replaced by more. You wished Thomas would wrap you back up in his arms, but you didn’t want to push your luck.
“I must admit I am rather relieved you are here, I was awfully worried that you must hate me after how poorly I treated you.”
"Wait… you treated me poorly?” You furrowed your brow, looking up at him in confusion. “I was the one who hurt you. All those things I said—”
"No, I was so cruel to continue wooing Alison right in front of you, without even considering how it might make you feel.” He really seemed to think he was in the wrong here, which you just couldn’t understand.
“Thomas, how were you supposed to know how I felt when I never said anything?” You hated hearing him blame himself for this. All he’d done wrong was be in love, even if it was with the completely wrong person. “I was just jealous, and I took it out on you. I’m so sorry.”
Thomas grabbed your hand and held it in his gently, making you feel a little faint, though that may have been from the three straight days of on and off crying. “What you said was… yes, somewhat harsh, but entirely correct, Y/N. I was deluding myself trying to court a married woman, so much that I never noticed that the perfect one was right in front of me.”
This couldn’t be real. There was no way. You were sure you’d had this exact dream many times before. That was it, you’d cried yourself to sleep and were imagining what you dearly wished would happen. Soon, you’d wake up and Thomas would be back to normal, trying desperately to make Alison love him.
“I have spent the past three days thinking about you, about us, and I…”
You cut him off, bitterly casting your eyes to the floor beneath you. “I don’t want your pity, Thomas.”
“Please listen to me, Y/N, this is not pity.” His free hand moved to touch your cheek softly, and that certainly brought your gaze back to him. You were struck silent by the fond look in his eye. He’d never looked at you that way before.
“I missed you so terribly during our time apart, it made me realise that I never wish to be without you again. I thought about every moment I’ve spent with you, how you always comfort me in my sorrow, listen to me for hours on end, stay by my side when everyone else ignores me. I wish to do all of those things for you.”
You opened your mouth to respond to Thomas’ sweet words, but it seemed he wasn’t finished.
“Whenever I see you, my heart fills up with such joy. For nearly 200 years, being in love has only brought me pain, so I suppose I didn’t understand why it was that you made me so happy.”
"Thomas…” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Another tear escaped your eye and Thomas was quick to sweep it away with his thumb. If you were still alive, you knew that your heart rate would be sky-high by this point.
“Please, my dear, could you ever forgive me for being such a fool?” Thomas asked you softly, and you were quick to wrap your arms around him, resting your head against his shoulder.
“Yes, Thomas,” you whispered against him, a few tears falling onto his waistcoat. “Can you forgive me for how I spoke to you?“
"Of course I can, Y/N,” he said, pressing a brief kiss to your forehead. You simply stayed there for who knows how long, so wrapped up in love and contentedness. After all of the pain, everything had turned out just fine in the end.
Unbeknownst to the two of you, all of your fellow ghosts had been outside the doorway of the library, secretly watching what was going on. Pat looked around at everyone, smiling proudly.
“Well, I think it’s safe to say that they’ve sorted things out.”