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#Dark-Fun-Gang
Rudolph Today at 8:56 AM
Good morning everybody!
Warrior Princess Today at 8:58 AM
what the shit. why are you waking me up before noon?
Rudolph Today at 8:59 AM
:,(
I did not intend to upset you.
Fox Only No Items Today at 9:01 AM
u keep hassling m'lady, the consekwences will be dire
Warrior Princess Today at 9:04 AM
how are you up?
Fox Only No Items Today at 9:05 AM
I…
Fox Only No Items Today at 9:06 AM
NEVER WENT TO BED!
Final Destination Today at 9:07 AM
Wow
You had me on the edge of my seat there berdly
Warrior Princess Today at 9:09 AM
chill everyone. im not mad at noelle.
my phone isn't supposed to make noises at me
Rudolph Today at 9:11 AM
Oh! I'm glad.
I'm sorry your phone isn't cooperating. Maybe Berdly can help you.
Fox Only No Items Today at 9:11 AM
of course i could help
if it were worth my while
Final Destination Today at 9:13 AM
What are you talking about of course susie could make it worth your while you ever seen those teeth on her
She could eat your face clean off
Fox Only No Items Today at 9:15 AM
…
Rudolph Today at 9:16 AM
I am sure Susie would be very thankful. But maybe we should leave this conversation for later, if it's keeping her up.
Barbarian Princess Today at 9:17 AM
no its fine. im up. hows everyone?
Rudolph Today at 9:19 AM
I am doing very well, thank you!
Fox Only No Items Today at 9:20 AM
haha i have been dominating
Rudolph Today at 9:20 AM
You said you've been playing Nintendo all evening?
Fox Only No Items Today at 9:22 AM
it hurts me m'lady to hear such ignorance from you
i have not been playing 'nintendo' i am playing league of legends
i am a nationally-ranked player, you know
Barbarian Princess Today at 9:24 AM
so who do you main? mario?
Fox Only No Items Today at 9:25 AM
ackshfhuhhwui
you
Rudolph Today at 9:25 AM
We haven't heard from Kris yet! How have you been, Kris?
Fox Only No Items Today at 9:26 AM
you ignoramus
fuck. not you m'lady, susie
Rudolph Today at 9:27 AM
Ha ha ha! It's okay.
Final Destination Today at 9:30 AM
i'm fine
Barbarian Princess Today at 9:31 AM
yeah i don't believe that for a second.
Rudolph Today at 9:31 AM
Susie!
Final Destination Today at 9:33 AM
it's fine whatever it's just been a weird couple of days i'm dealing
Rudolph Today at 9:35 AM
That doesn't sound…fine.
You can talk to us about anything, Kris!
Final Destination Today at 9:37 AM
that's nice to hear
but i
nothing
Barbarian Princess Today at 9:40 AM
you didn't get in trouble for what happened in the library, did you? because that wasn't your fault
mostly
Final Destination Today at 9:45 AM
no i didn't get in trouble for anything it was just a tiring couple of days
it hasn't really let up either so
Rudolph Today at 9:47 AM
Oh dear. I hope things get better for you soon.
Final Destination Today at 9:50 AM
thatd be nice i guess but rn im just living with it
just i didnt
are you upset with me?
Rudolph Today at 9:52 AM
I don't think I am.
Barbarian Princess Today at 9:52 AM
what am i supposed to be upset about?
Final Destination Today at 9:55 AM
uh
Final Destination Today at 9:58 AM
berdly you mad?
Fox Only No Items Today at 9:59 AM
we're cool. honestly.
Final Destination Today at 10:01 AM
if you say so
Rudolph Today at 10:04 AM
Do you think you did something we should be upset about?
Final Destination Today 10:07 AM
if you don't think so
probably not
i just
if i were being weird youd tell me right
like
really weird
Fox Only No Items Today at 10:11 AM
i'm gonna bite the bullet here; you're always weird
Final Destination Today at 10:11 AM
fine scary weird like if i threatened you or
something
Fox Only No Items Today at 10:13 AM
i guess if you threatened m'lady here or. susie i guess. i'd tell you to back off.
Final Destination Today at 10:15 AM
thats
thanks
Final Destination Today at 10:22 AM
ill see you all later
Berdly kept up his third of the conversation after Kris left - it wouldn't do for Noelle to think he'd callously abandoned her to Susie's not-so-tender mercies - but his heart wasn't really in it. He wasn't the sort to worry at every little thing, but he watched people, especially those who, for one reason or another, mattered to him. Kris had been acting odd for - a while (of course they were normally quiet and intense and a little more of a jackass than people expected from a person that quiet, particularly one related to Asriel Dreemurr, but the mood swings and reticence even on group chats was new).
A lesser intelligence, or one less magnanimous than Berdly, would have concluded, based on the timing, that Kris missed their brother, and left it at that. But Berdly was not a lesser intelligence, and was capable of great magnanimity when it suited him. So yes, it was trivial to observe Kris and deduce a precipitating event for their change in behavior. But it was still a radical change, and not one for the better.
So Berdly kept glancing at the 'idle' indicator next to Kris' screen name, his finger hovering over the text, before pulling back and responding to a question from Noelle, or a jibe from Susie.
Fifteen minutes passed this way, Berdly's finger lingering longer over Kris' screen name, before he jabbed the name to pull up their DMs.
@MonsterBoss AKA Final Destination
FalcoPunch Today at 10:38 AM
i get not wanting to upset noelle
and not wanting to talk about personal problems with susie
but if anyone can offer sound advice in dealing with whatever crap you're going through, it is me
one of your five best friends
MonsterBoss Today at 10:46 AM
i dont
can
if you want to talk can it be voice i don't really trust my computer right now
Berdly found his gaze settling on the last half of that sentence, the odd declaration that Kris didn't trust their computer. Of course, there had been the spam e-mail virus they'd accidentally downloaded onto the library computers, but Kris' particular phrasing was…
Odd.
Realizing with a sudden jolt that Kris had also been asking for Berdly to call them, Berdly jabbed the voice call button, waiting an impossibly tense five seconds for Kris to pick up.
"I wasn't sure if you'd call," Kris said on answering, their voice absent any affect, like they got when tired (usually observed after the sixth hour or so of Super Smashing Fighters). It was a nightmare trying to figure out what Kris was feeling in this state, unless you were an expert, a genius, or one of Kris' best friends.
Luckily, Berdly was all three, and was pretty sure Kris wasn't trying to be passive aggressive, but was surprised Berdly had actually called.
"I wouldn't just not call," he replied with a chuckle, "especially since your…computer's being sus?"
"Everything is being sort of sus," Kris muttered.
Berdly wasn't quite certain how to interpret that, so he stuck with his original plan. "You're - you've been out of sorts for a…since Asriel left for college."
"Well, yeah," Kris agreed, voice almost conveying an emotion (it was, admittedly, annoyance - or at least weariness, suggesting other people had made the connection). "He's my best friend."
(Berdly knew that. Berdly never mentally put himself above Kris' top four favorite people, knowing he couldn't compete with Asriel. But it still stung, a little, hearing the person he spent the most time with outside of academic pursuits didn't consider Berdly their favorite person.)
"But it seems…" Berdly rubbed at his beak, suddenly nervous, because he didn't talk to Kris about their feelings, really. "You're - I think things are a - little worse than…just your brother not being around." He held his breath, hoping he hadn't crossed a line. And when Kris hadn't replied for close to a minute, Berdly felt sweat gathering at the back of his neck, worried that he had overstepped, would drive Kris away poking his beak where it didn't belong.
"It doesn't help," Kris replied. "Asriel would know how to - help," they concluded awkwardly. "The…" They took a deep breath. "A - boss monster didn't move into town recently, did they? A kid?"
"No?" Berdly replied. "The only boss monsters in Hometown are your parents and Asriel."
"...I figured as much," Kris murmured.
"Why are you asking?" Berdly asked, the question sitting oddly in his gizzard.
"..." The silence was almost audible, a palm pressing against Berdly's chest. As Kris' silence continued, Berdly reached a hand up to clutch against the feathers on his chest, steadying himself to continue.
"What's been - going on with you?" Berdly pressed. "You're lonely, I get it, but you keep hinting something else is going on and it's upsetting you and I want to know - what it is. What's going on."
Kris took a look breath over the phone. "I…don't remember things the same way the rest of you do. The library, for example, I. I only half-remember some of the stuff you've mentioned, and stuff. The stuff I remember was." They laughed, a high-pitched, strangled noise. "You know that kids' movie, Undertale? Stuff like that. I keep - seeing whole worlds in places like…supply closets and the library computers."
"Like, uh…" Berdly tried to compare Undertale to the events of the last week, trying - and failing - to imagine how the misadventures in the library could have turned into a magical battle for the future of the world.
"You wanted to help put people like you in charge of the world," Kris mused. "We…fought a few times."
Berdly remembered some arguments he'd had with Kris in the library recently - debates over them capitalizing Noelle's time when Berdly always studied with her - but Kris' tone was tense, their memory of those fights…clearly more stressful.
"I didn't want to," Kris continued. "But sometimes, when I start - seeing weird stuff. Sometimes, before that, I. I can feel my heart beating. I can feel it pumping - something through me."
"Blood?"
"No, not - or not my blood," Kris snarled. "I can feel it in my veins, this…syrupy sludge that lets the soul inside me move me around like a puppet-" They broke off suddenly with a choked gasp.
"Kris?" The bubble of anxiety burst, clawing at the inside of Berdly's chest, imagining what someone who spoke with such disgust about the contents of their own circulatory system might do. "Are you-"
"Forget it," Kris muttered, voice flat again. "I shouldn't have - it's just a dumb joke."
"It isn't," Berdly retorted, his own heartbeat skittering anxiously in his chest. His awareness that something was off hadn't included the possibility of something so distressing, or visceral. "This is…really bothering you, isn't it?"
Kris scoffed, and Berdly bit back a strangled laugh, because they were right - it was a stupid question.
"I…" Berdly paused, finding no words - no quote from Wikipedia or WebMD that could show off his expertise in whatever the subject they were discussing happened to be. No plots from any of his favorite video games he could mine for advice. Nothing but the slow drum on fingers on the inside of his chest, a simmering rhythm of anxiety. "That must suck."
"You don't know the half of it."
The silence that settled between them after that didn't inspire the worry the others had - neither the worry that Berdly had misstepped, nor worry for Kris. Still, Berdly cast about for something he could say, beyond the moronically obvious observation that the host of - that the things Kris had been experiencing were terrible.
"Mom took me to the doctor after I cut up the rug in her living room," Kris continued. And their voice wasn't flat anymore - there was a tension to it. And Berdly found himself responding in kind, one hand clenched around his knee. "They - we talked, and they think they know what's wrong."
"You cut up the rug?" Berdly asked, the words slightly hollow - delayed, he realized, because Kris was moving on, and he was - it didn't matter about the rug.
"Ugh, I - when I stop…feeling controlled, I get a little - wired. Like, I feel free and I don't know what to do with myself. I ate an entire pie, once. I wasn't sure I'd get the chance to have any of it while I could actually enjoy it. With the rug, I was…trying to upset the soul, somehow."
It was strange, hearing Kris talk so freely. Even around Asriel, they weren't the most talkative. But the words spilling out of them were - entirely in line with what Berdly would have expected, if Kris were being irregularly possessed by an alien intelligence. He tried not to preen at the realization that he hadn't let Kris' normal reticence keep him from learning what made the human work.
But there wasn't time for self-congratulations; Kris had been trying to share.
"But, uh. You said something about the doctor?"
Kris didn't reply.
"Kris?"
"When you asked what was wrong with me, I didn't want to tell you. Because you'd hear it and get all these ideas in your head about me. But I…I've told you what I'm feeling. Seeing. What it's like, so when I tell you, that's what you think about, instead of." There was a pause, and Berdly knew Kris must have shrugged awkwardly, like when they'd run out of words.
And Berdly could feel it, the echo of their terror. "What did the doctor say, Kris?"
"They think I might be schizophrenic."
And Berdly's brain couldn't help jumping to the (admittedly vague) pictures painted by movies of what that word meant. It was disturbing, trying to fit all of that on top of what he knew about his friend. But forewarned of exactly why Kris had told him in this roundabout way, Berdly waved all that away and slotted the word into what Kris had been experiencing. Hallucinations (vivid ones, apparently). Dissociation. Delusions. The feeling that they were losing control of their life.
"That sucks, dude," Berdly said, trying to infuse every iota of sympathy he could muster into that one syllable. "Is that why you were asking me to tell you if you're acting weird?"
"That's…something else," Kris replied. "Or. Fuck, I don't know."
Berdly gave it a moment, but when Kris didn't continue, asked, "You asked me what I'd do if you threatened me. Are you - afraid of that?"
"Shouldn't I be?" Kris retorted.
Berdly scoffed. "That's the stupidest thing you've ever said to me." Because of all the emotions this conversation had forced on Berdly - fear that he'd offended Kris, worry that Kris was trying to claw the tainted blood out of their veins, and fears of the word 'schizophrenia' making their life as a human among monsters so much harder - none of them were fear of what Kris might do to him. "You might be a brutal, cheating wavedasher, but that's Super Smashing Fighters, not real life."
Kris giggled, the noise ending in an awkward snort. "That might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me," they said, at last, and Berdly wasn't certain if he should feel embarrassed about that.
There were pills Kris had to take - the first mix making them hyper-aware of their own heartbeat and the ever-present threat of the soul seizing control of their body, before their doctor listened to their complaints and provided a new prescription that all but eliminated intermittent sightings of Ralsei (aside from an episode just before Thanksgiving, when, after learning Asriel wouldn't make it home, Kris and their friends had helped Ralsei defeat The Ace and their football-themed minions in order to close a Dark Fountain in the gymnasium equipment room).
There was a doctor Kris had to visit twice a week - Doctor Gaster, who was sympathetic but firm in pushing Kris to develop…techniques to identify stress that might cause their hallucinations. He got them an app for their phone to communicate when words wouldn't come easily, and reminded them to tell people when they just couldn't deal with anyone, rather than ghosting them.
There were days when Kris woke up feeling like they were wearing someone else's face, or that the body they wore was a grim joke - flesh that bled instead of shedding dust, a head that remained stubbornly hornless no matter how long they waited. There were times Kris felt the tug of the soul, propelling them along quests they didn't fully understand, and, rarely, days the world cracked apart into adventures governed by the false Asriel, and Kris fought down the urge to rebel against the control with hedonistic gluttony or destructive contrariness.
There were days Kris woke up with the memory of grim alternatives to the fantastical adventures, where the soul manipulated the people around Kris to execute the violence of which Berdly had once been certain Kris wasn't capable.
Those were the worst days, because managing prescriptions had become habit and talking with Doctor Gaster wasn't too painful, and although struggling through days where Kris wasn't certain what was real was frustrating…
Nothing bad had happened to Kris on days like that, and from what they could piece together from their friends' accounts, it was because all three of them - Noelle, Susie, and Berdly - had their back. They couldn't bring themself to ask whose idea it had been, to make sure they were safe when it became clear they weren't themselves.
But Kris' friends couldn't shield them from dreams, the one hallucination their medication couldn't banish. The only way their friends could blunt the horror of waking, remembering pressuring Noelle to hurt people, sometimes strangers, but sometimes Berdly, was to be okay, which was why on waking at 3:47 this morning, Kris had tapped the button to make a call when Berdly hadn't responded immediately to their desperate text.
"Whas't? Kris?" His voice was rough, the way it got when they'd been playing video games long past midnight, a tone Kris associated with crowding with Berdly on his bed or Kris' living room couch, the world around them dark except for the glow of the television.
"I," Kris started, before their throat closed up. "Uh."
"Are you okay?" Berdly asked, voice sharp, alert - on point, as Kris had taken to thinking of that tone. "Are you hallucinating?"
"I don't…think so," Kris murmured, uncertain, but not remembering anything - no tense exchanges at school, no bad news about Asriel - that would have triggered an episode. "Bad dream," they explained, panting with the effort of having strung the words together.
"...Do you have bad dreams a lot?" Berdly asked, and Kris bit their lip to hold back their tears, shaking their head. But Berdly needed words, and Kris had been the one to call him.
"Yes," they admitted.
`
"Is that something you talk about with Doctor Gaster?"
"...No," Kris ground out. "They're just - bad dreams." Kris never woke up confused about whether their dreams had happened. They'd never woken up clawing at their chest trying to rip out the soul beating in time with their heart. The dreams weren't real, not in the way Ralsei and the Dark World felt real. "Everyone has bad dreams."
"Yeah, but." Berdly fell silent, and Kris knew that silence. Berdly was brash, loud, and impulsive when it came to speaking his mind. Sometimes, though, when speaking to Kris, lately, he would pause, quiet, before coming out with something thoughtful. Kris wasn't certain if they should feel offended Berdly was walking on eggshells around them, except that they couldn't reconcile being offended at Berdly for not being offensive.
"Just because it's a dream and not a - hallucination, doesn't mean it isn't…something to worry about," Berdly concluded. "Besides, telling your friends about the weird dreams you had is traditional - even if it's your fourth or fifth-best friend, and even if you aren't - uh. People who don't have schizophrenia do it," he concluded, voice awkward.
Kris sighed and flopped back onto their bed; catching a glimpse of Asriel's bed, they turned over to face the wall, phone clutched in one hand. "It's not even - it isn't scary or anything. I was dreaming that I - or the 'soul' - was. I was having an episode and I kept pressuring Noelle to hurt people for me, like really hurt them. She hated it, I could tell, but didn't know how to - say no to me. I hated it, too," they added, in case Berdly had worried Dream Kris had been gleefully pulling Noelle's strings, cackling as she froze innocent monsters on their say-so.
"That, uh, does sound a little fucked up," Berdly mused, and Kris jolted, remembering suddenly why they'd called Berdly in particular, desperate for proof he was alive. "Is that it?"
"...No," Kris admitted, scratching idly along the skin of their arm. "I. Sort of goaded her into. Uh. Killing you. Like I came out of the hallucination and you were. Dead dead. I think I might have stuffed your body in a supply closet."
"Huh," Berdly replied, voice - odd. "That is in fact very fucked up and sort of upsetting, I agree." He was quiet for a moment before blurting, “Not that I mean you’re - I mean, we all have fucked up dreams sometimes. I’ve woken up from a dream with no idea how my brain came up with something that twisted. So I’m not sitting over here wondering how fucked up you must be to be dreaming about getting Noelle to murder me in cold blood. I’m…worried because you sound freaked out over it.”
Kris smiled half-heartedly into the darkness. “Of course I am. I lose myself during my episodes. What if-“
“No offense, but you’re wildly overestimating your, uh, efficacy when you’re hardcore hallucinating,” Berdly said. “You’ve never been - focused enough to gaslight anyone into hurting people, especially Noelle.”
Kris blinked at their phone. Their episodes had always felt incredibly coherent, the soul dragging them along for the ride dedicated to completing the objectives built up by their antagonists. They’d always been concerned about hurting people in that state, and, occasionally, because of their dreams, pushing their friends to hurt people, too.
“Uh. That. You aren’t mad, are you?” Berdly asked hesitantly.
And Kris giggled, aware the laugh was wet, carrying the hint of the tears they were close to shedding.
“No, I’m not,” they replied. “I think…that was just what I needed to hear."
"It is?" Berdly squawked, before laughing. "I mean of course it is! I've become something of an expert on the subject - as much as you can without actually living with it." He coughed, a delicate sound, before continuing. "I just figured you'd appreciate having the smartest person you know helping you keep a handle on things."
Kris couldn't help smiling at Berdly's half-hearted attempt to conceal his actual concern, their heart far lighter than it had been when they'd woken.
"You keep calling yourself my fourth- or fifth-best friend," Kris said quietly. "You couldn't be more wrong about that. You - I don't think anyone can compete with Asriel right now, but…aside from that, you're probably my best friend."
They waited for a quiet moment, expecting a blustery response, Berdly bragging that it was natural Kris should like him best. But instead the quiet stretched out, until Berdly stammered out, "...what."
"You've handled this whole - schizophrenia thing better than pretty much everyone," Kris explained. "Which - it's easy to be around you, because you don't treat me like I'm…crazy, or whatever." It would be a lie to say Berdly wasn't treating them any differently than he had before Kris told him about their diagnosis, but Kris didn't want to bring up exactly how Berdly's behavior had changed - uncertain how to describe how his watchfulness, the odd reticence when he reconsidered his first thoughts to avoid saying something hurtful, and the clear evidence he'd been doing a great deal of reading in his free time, made Kris feel.
(This was a lie. Kris just had had enough terrifying conversations in the past year. Maybe they'd talk about it with him in the new year, presuming their family didn't fracture any further and Kris didn't manifest any new and exciting mental illnesses before February.)
"Heh." Berdly's laugh was shaky, and it was almost gratifying to hear that Kris' admission had affected him that much. "Just wanted to prove I've got your back-"
"You do," Kris muttered, shocking Berdly into silence. "Thank you, really."
Kris didn't normally sleep well even after getting back to sleep when they'd had a nightmare.
But they woke hours later, unable to remember any other dreams they might have had.
Asriel wasn't self-centered enough to believe that he had somehow given Kris schizophrenia by going to college. But he was one hundred percent aware that stress could precipitate incipient schizophrenia, and had been well aware Kris was reacting badly to their separation, so.
He felt a little guilty for his sibling's breakdown and consequent routine of drugs and therapy.
Combined with his heavy courseload preventing him from returning home at any point during the semester, Asriel had resolved no force on Earth was going to keep him from seeing his family during winter break.
He'd spent the entire flight home trying to contain his nerves, but had failed miserably, his knee jiggling without his conscious control. He'd bolted out of his seat the moment the pilot had announced it was allowed, nearly forgetting to retrieve his duffel bag from the overhead compartments before disembarking, weaving through the crowds filling the terminals until he saw them - a pale goat-like figure standing next to the only human in sight, dark hair shading their face.
"Kris! Mom!" Asriel had time for only two steps before Kris ran into him, locking their arms around his waist. He stumbled back a step before recovering, returning the embrace while their mother approached at a more leisurely pace. Her hug had to encompass both of them, because Kris still hadn't let go when she arrived, though they loosened their grip and stepped back a reluctant step themself when she let go.
"It's good to see you, honey," Toriel crooned, ruffling the fur on the top of Asriel's head. "We've all missed you."
"Dad, too?" Asriel asked, ducking away to try and rearrange his fur, only to freeze when he saw a gangly blue bird standing just out of reach, watching them. He squinted, trying to place the vaguely familiar face. "Uh. Who's this?"
The bird scoffed, chuckling loudly as he stepped closer to them. "Don't tell me you don't remember Kris' best friend, Azzie!" He glanced at Kris, flushing slightly before adding, "after you, of course."
"Best - Berdly, right?" Now that he had the context, Asriel could remember seeing the bird wandering through their kitchen, or sprawled on the couch in the family room. "Good to see you, dude." He reached out a hand to shake before resting his other hand on Kris' shoulder and guiding them all toward the baggage claim. "You here to keep Kris company? Or desperate to see me again?"
"Tch!" Berdly retorted, shaking his head. "The new update for Fantasy Apocalypse XIV came out today and this los - lovely person insisted they had to go to sleep early to meet their brother at the airport, so the only way I was going to get half-decent DPS support today was coming here to make sure the tearful reunion didn't take more than two hours, tops."
"Uh…huh." Asriel raised one eyebrow at Kris, who pretended to examine the arrivals board. He grinned at the back of their head, smirking when he caught their mom's eye. Berdly seemed unaware of Asriel's attention, most of his focus on Kris as they collected Asriel's luggage and headed to the car, even skilfully manipulating things so that he and Kris sat in the back of Toriel's car (although they ended up sitting behind Asriel, kicking the back of his seat at irregular intervals to remind Asriel they were there). He suffered through his mother's barely-concealed interrogation (Did he have friends? How were his classes going? Had he met anyone special?), hoping for a chance to turn the tables when they got home, but Kris captured his wrist and sat him on the couch while they and Berdly booted up a console that had to be Berdly's, because it looked nothing like Asriel's Nintendo.
So instead of grilling his mom about how, exactly, Berdly fit into the Asriel-free picture, Asriel spent most of his afternoon squashed between his favorite family member and the bird in question, listening to him trip over trash talk he reconsidered halfway through when he noticed Asriel watching him.
He grinned at Berdly once, showing all of his teeth, and the boy nearly choked on his soda.
…It was a novel experience, anyone being frightened of Asriel (at least outside of the LARP club he'd joined at university, where the God of Hyperdeath was well-received as a dangerous foe). But distracted by the mystery of it, Asriel couldn't enjoy it fully, not until Toriel shooed Berdly off to his own house for dinner and he had a chance to corner Kris in the kitchen.
"You've gotten, uh, friendly with Berdly since I left," Asriel offered, earning a brief, red-eyed glare from Kris as they grabbed the plates.
"We're friends," they replied. "We were friends before you left."
"Well, yeah, but you're more, uh, inseparable than I remember."
"I can't exactly spend as much time with you as I used to," Kris retorted, slamming the stack of plates on the table before stilling, glowering down at them before shifting them to their places. "Right?" they asked, turning their head so Asriel could see their eyes, red almost glowing under the light.
Asriel flinched back from the glare, shoulders falling as the guilt settled over them. "I - I'm sorry," he murmured.
Kris furrowed their brow before blinking, gaze a few notches less hostile than it had been a moment ago. "What for?"
"For leaving you!" Asriel replied, nearly tossing the forks across the room. "I should have known-"
"That I was schizophrenic?" Kris asked.
"That - something!" Asriel cried, slapping the silverware on the table rather than risk an accident. "Your - dissociation and dysphoria and, and…I should have realized, and-"
"And never left home?" Kris said archly, leaning back against the dining room table. "Never left me alone because something bad might happen?" They crossed their arms, pulling them tight. "I won't - you shouldn't do that. You've got your own life, and I can't-"
Asriel pulled Kris into a hug, shocking them to silence, though not shocked enough to not hug back.
"I'm sorry," Asriel repeated when he released them. "I just - I've been worried about you, and-"
"Got tangled up thinking this is your fault?" Kris asked. "It isn't. And I'm - glad you've been able to call as often as you do. I missed you, and this made it…easier."
"And…Berdly?" Asriel asked.
"What about Berdly?" Kris asked, their ears pink and darkening rapidly. "We're friends."
"I don't know," Asriel replied with a shrug. "He's awfully protective of you - definitely worried what I seem to think of him. And as a man of the world-"
"Goat of the world," Kris growled.
"I can't help but feel this change in behavior was precipitated by a similar change in the nature of your…relationship."
"Shut up!" Kris hissed, doing their best to scowl through a furious blush. "He's - been really understanding. He's let me talk to him about…stuff."
"Aww, so he isn't your boyfriend?"
"No," Kris said hurriedly. "He hasn't even said anything about liking me like that, so." They shrugged. "He likes Noelle, anyway."
That may have been true at one point, but Berdly hadn't been staring at Noelle all afternoon. Still, Asriel didn't want to open up his winter break with a fight. So he shrugged in reply. "Alright. Then I'm glad you've got a friend you feel comfortable with talking about all this - lord knows it can get tiring talking about your problems only with your therapist."
Kris smiled at Asriel, ducking around him to organize the silverware. "It's not just Berdly - I've been hanging out more with Susie and Noelle from my classes, too."
"Jeez - I leave and you get three whole friends?" Asriel joked. "Apparently I've been holding you back all these years."
Kris snorted and shoved Asriel as they returned to the living room. "You haven't. I - you did a lot for me." They threw themself on the couch, lips quirked into an odd half-smile. "I'm grateful I've got a big brother like you."
"Well," Asriel allowed, settling down next to Kris. "You're one hundred percent welcome to it; it's been an honor being the big brother to an awesome kid like you."
Kris squirmed away from Asriel, glaring at him again. "Come on - you're just being weird. I'm creepy, and off-putting, and crazy."
Asriel ruffled their hair, using it as an opportunity to tug them into a sideways hug. "Creepy? Off-putting? Maybe just to people who don't know you. And crazy…well, that's not your fault. I bet every single person who really knows you feels the same way I do. I bet Susie and Noelle do." He grinned, even though Kris wasn't looking at him. "I bet Berdly does."
"W - well that's - different! Berdly-" Kris dropped their head further, baring their teeth. "Anyway, why haven't I heard about any of your new friends?"
"Because they're all just a bunch of nerds, like me," Asriel replied.
"You think my friends aren't a bunch of nerds, too?" Kris retorted. "Come onnn!"
"Alright, alright!" Asriel replied.
The conversation didn't lay his worries to rest - it was Asriel's responsibility to worry about Kris, even without their condition. But he'd learned things that made it easier to go back to school at the end of break. Kris' medication wasn't too bad, and they seemed to get along with their therapist. They were managing their schizophrenia as well as they could, and even the times it had gotten bad, it hadn't been really bad, because their friends were looking out for them.
Mom and Dad were handling it as well as could be expected - at worst, at least keeping Kris' life stable enough things didn't seem to be getting worse.
And as for Berdly…
Well, it wasn't technically Asriel's business, and Kris didn't need anyone pressuring them about their relationships, especially now (and Asriel did not have a track record that left him confident in his ability to advise anyone on their love life). And it wasn't as if Kris' life would be emptier for having a devoted friend in it instead of a boyfriend.
It was richer for the people they had in it, and Asriel's job was to support Kris whatever they wanted these people to be to them.
(And resolve to keep in touch, so that he could lend a listening ear when it all got messy - as it would. Because more than Kris' friends, having their back was his responsibility.)