Archive of Our Own ^beta

Zack kneeled there, the bitter and hostile metal crawling through the tatters of his First Class attire, chilling the blood that already coursed like glaciers through his veins. He could only stare blankly ahead, bound by strings to the Reactor's floor while Genesis was perched above him. There was an underlying venom stirring inside his gut: disgust, anger, hatred, and the initial shock of Genesis's survival was soon eclipsed by this poison.

Still, no matter how much he seared to cut down the degrading SOLDIER where he stood, to sever the rotting tangle of ashy feathers that twitched and convulsed like a bleeding deer, Zack's mind was set elsewhere.

Sephiroth...

"Am I... a human being...?"

"This... this is not what I meant..."

"Project S used the remains of countless failed experiments to create the perfect monster." 

"Genesis! STOP!" 

But he didn't.

And now the wilting shell of a man stood at the top of the staircase, standing under the single name that had shattered the soul of someone meant to be indestructible. A spill of long, cold chuckles dribbled from his breath. And, despite being rejected the remedy he had sought for, Genesis still seemed more than pleased with his outcome. Amused, even.

Well, it was definitely not amusing.

Again Zack stifled the dangerous impulses, clamping down on his tongue. He couldn’t give into Genesis either. He didn’t have time to lose control—not now. He wouldn’t. He was needed somewhere else, whether that person realized it or not. And that was where he would be.

He would not let the last one fall.

Clenching his fists, Zack climbed to his feet, letting the broken melody of Genesis's laughter echo behind him as he bolted out the doors of Nibelheim's Mako Reactor.

x~x~ϞϞ(๑⚈ ․̫ ⚈๑)∩~x~x

Heavy boots stormed through rock and dirt, silver hair ribboning in the wind as night bled over dusk. Emerald eyes that swam with the proud luster of the Lifestream were now sharp and deadly, piercing jade daggers slashing through the twilight. They were distant. Detached. Snarled in thought.

It couldn't be true... No, it was too cruel.

"Sephiroth!"

Had they been deceiving him... manipulating him?

No... it wasn't true.

But the coincidences... they couldn't be denied, could they? His mother. His strength. His abnormality. 

"Sephiroth!" 

Manor. Get to the manor. Answers were there, as so Genesis claimed. Was he still deceiving him...? No. What difference did it make? There was nothing left but to scour for the truth.

Was he...

"SEPHIROTH!"

...A monster?

Somewhere in the caverns of his mind, he had been aware of the confused exclamations of Strife and their guide. They were static now, distant and unimportant, gusted away in the tsunamic winds of his destination. 

But that one voice... the voice that—

"SEPHIROTH!" 

He then felt a sudden weight clamp down on his wrist. Sephiroth fired a glare over his shoulder to see Fair's gloves seized around his arm, panting, his eyes screaming in a language he had no time to decipher.

Snarling, the warrior thrusted him away. "Leave me be, Zachary."

Zack stumbled a bit before gathering equilibrium, shaking his head free of the unwelcome rush of nausea. His gaze returned to pleading blue fire. "Just slow down, please. I know you're—“

But Sephiroth had already spun around, continuing his trek down the mountains.

Zack almost grit his teeth—almost. But he reminded himself that Sephiroth was distressed, lost... scared. He was built to be untouchable. 

Well, if he was going to be stubborn, then Zack would just have to be too.

Sephiroth's boot hardly grazed the next slab of rock before Zack was again reaching for his commander, and this time, clutched a fistful of leather coat. The General’s pupils were nothing but flaming knives as he spun around to strike his subordinate.

Zack’s breath hitched in his throat as the glove came blitzing towards him, his heartbeat flying. Even if he was long past his cadet days of cowering away from the revered SOLDIER, there was no hiding the terror that shot through his soul like a bullet of ice.

But… he wasn’t really angry at him. And he was smart enough to know that.

So, as Zack strained his eyes and braced his muscles taut, he clenched his jaws and withheld the scream from Sephiroth's unbridled strength slapping against him; he weathered the firestorm of stinging pain, mustering all his willpower to dam the hot mist until the heatwave passed over. 

Then, as it abated, with a sudden jerk of adrenaline that, at that moment, he needed more than anything in the world, like a man heaving a bull up a mountain, he threw Sephiroth into his arms.

Sephiroth slammed into his subordinate with gaping eyes, the clang of armor meeting armor ringing all throughout the horizon. Zack took advantage of his stunned state to lock his arms around the other—not as brawny but more than sturdy—and enfolded Sephiroth's strong figure.

Almost immediately he felt a weight lift from his chest. He was standing, holding the fragments of a broken soul safely together, having the control and opportunity to see that they wouldn't crumble away.

He hadn't been able to hold Angeal together. Now... now he had a chance for redemption.

Sephiroth, meanwhile, was paralyzed. Whether it was out of shock or confusion or a meld of both, Zack couldn't say for certain… but the rabbit-like palpitations in his chest revealed something that he had inferred, maybe even believed, but now was confirmed:

Fear.

Gaia… He was so scared…

Zack's clutch only tightened, resting his head against Sephiroth's scalp—a substitute for nestling into his armored shoulder. Now that Sephiroth’s head was slumped over him, their difference in height made no difference.

Of course, this only happened over the span of a few seconds. Probably less. Sephiroth quickly returned to his body and was expectedly trying to escape, wriggling and bucking and writhing against Zack's arms. But the brunet's grasp remained like a net. 

"Hey, hey..." he was soothing in the most tenderly-firm tone he could manage. It was strange, yes, and undoubtedly he would be beheaded sometime down the road... but now, right now, as the SOLDIERs stood alone halfway down the mountain of Nibelheim's outskirts, shielded under the elusiveness of awakening moonlight, he was not the General's lieutenant.

He had to get to through to him.

"It's okay..." Zack continued to hush, knowing it was a much more safe and effective solace than "don't worry" or "calm down". It was okay for Sephiroth to feel the way he did. Of course he felt it. “It’s okay, buddy…”

The whispers brushed against Sephiroth's ears, but he was still far too frantic to process them. Right now, he reminded Zack of a frenzied dog (a bittersweet irony), so hurt and scarred that the lines between danger and safety were nearly blurred beyond repair.

"Let me go, Zachary!” he was growling, fighting to free the hands smothered between him and the other's uniform. This was pathetic! He didn't need pity; he needed answers. 

Zack, having the advantage of his limbs, made sure to pin Sephiroth's firmly against his body. A smile crept onto his lips, albeit a wan one, far more sad than genuinely content. "Sorry, Sir," he said, “I’m afraid I have to decline that order." He would never let him go… not yet. 

Sephiroth bucked once more. "Zachary!”

But Zack only ignored the snarl, and ignored the hint of threat that was laced into his commander's—no, friend's—voice, fighting against Sephiroth's turbulence. And still Sephiroth’s heart thundered against his own, the storm only growing louder.

"You're scared, Sephiroth…” he placated, almost instantly having to strengthen his clutch at the warrior's retaliation. A sore spot in Sephiroth’s chest, definitely. But they had both learned that some wounds needed be to touched before they could close. “It’s okay…” Zack repeated, softer, kinder. "I promise... it's okay."

Sephiroth fought the whispers as they swarmed around his mind like hornets, stingers bared. His teeth were as well, ready to retaliate, ready to snap at his subordinate for accusing such a thing. Ready to deny. 

So why did no words leave his mouth?

The hesitation did not fly over Zack. His lips quirked into an honest, quiet smile, relieved to have made a dent in the wall.

Or, maybe it was much more than a simple dent, because Sephiroth closed his mouth then, and when it was reopened five or thirty seconds later, something else left his lips entirety: a question. 

"Am I... a human being?"

It was the same question he had asked in the Mako Reactor. Among the chaos and confusion, among the tornado that had engulfed his mind and the flames Genesis had fanned, Zack hadn't been given the opportunity to answer.

He could now.

"Yes," the brunet said straightly, not a single thread of doubt laced between. He would like to question why Sephiroth would even think something so ludicrous, because it hurt… but he already knew that answer, and it would be futile to ask.

"How...?" Sephiroth asked in honesty, and in nothing but raw honesty. "Project S... Jenova... I was..." He shook his head.

"I don't give a damn about what Genesis, or Hollander, or even Hojo has to say.” Zack let it all spill from his mouth. All the truths, all the bleeding pains and promises he couldn’t say before. Even before Nibelheim. Before the Reactor. “This is what they all wanted. You’re you, Sephiroth, the admired, strong, and kind SOLDIER who sacrificed everything to keep his friends alive… And that’s never going to change.” He squeezed all his pleas, his reasons, squeezed all his bleeding care into the embrace, sending silent messages that he prayed Sephiroth could hear and understand.

“It hurts… I know...” Zack held his friend tighter, the urge to maintain the fragments stronger than it had ever been. "But you can’t let them win. You're stronger than them, Sephiroth. I know you are. Just... please..." He found his face buried far deeper in the silver nest than he had intended... but he didn't draw back. "Don't leave me too... Please... Don’t forget who you are. You have to believe me, Sephiroth. You have to…”

It hadn't occurred to him until now, as if he was numb... but he had been scared, horrified to see Sephiroth break the way he did in the Reactor. He hadn't known if he had lost the only rock he had left, and he hadn't known if he would ever see him again... whole.

But he was here... he was right here. And the fragments were still together. Broken, but still together.

Sephiroth hadn't even noticed that his hands were no longer pinned. In fact, they hadn't been for quite some time now. 

Yet... he hadn't pulled away. He was too bound by the words that melted through his skin, thawing the ice that encased his soul and mind. 

Don’t forget… 

It’s okay…

You’re you, Sephiroth… and that’s never going to change. 

It’s okay…

You’re you…

It’s okay.

For the first time since stepping foot inside that horrid, bear-trapped Mako Reactor, he felt his doubts truly begin to splinter. His heartbeat calmed into something much more rhythmic… something safe against the warmth of swaddling arms and solace.

Something safe. 

He had been searching for answers all his life, pining for the truth and the explanations that would satiate him. But there was nothing; instead of remedies to those questions, he had found nothing but... poison. Poison he had nearly swallowed whole. 

What... what was he thinking?

It was as if a veil had been removed from his eyes. He was here; he was alive; he had someone to whisper and assure that it was all going to be alright… someone who was not his mother, but billowed with the same aura of love and guidance anyway.

No. He couldn’t be a monster… because monsters were not loved like this. 

This single thought—this answer—played softly through Sephiroth’s mind, nestling into his psyche, massaging the aches in his memories… He strained his eyes and let the alien warmth from Zack's presence course through his soul, breathe life into his veins… knead the twists in his heart. 

Zack felt a weight ring around his back, and the brunet believed it to be an animal before realizing it was Sephiroth who was actually returning the embrace.

”…Zack…” The warrior’s voice was lost and faraway, reaching for a familiarity and hope that was sheltering him, giving him a home…

So, drenched in the twilight, Sephiroth sank into the neck of his last remaining friend and let himself be held. His hands were clumsy, unfamiliar with the gesture…. but it wasn’t painful.

It was healing.

Zack knew then that the wall had been shattered. His face melted into a warm, grateful, doughy smile as his muscles relaxed again. "That's it..." he sighed into the bed of mercury, feeling the last of the tension ease and the lesions mend, feeling the glue seep through his fingers and join the fragments together. "I’m here. I got you, Seph. I got you. You’re okay…”

You're really okay.

There would always be pieces that were lost, just as today, never to be found again. And despite it all, despite everything, Zack felt certain that his friend would fight on... that he would stride forward and live with the cracks.

But as for now, Sephiroth was whole.