Chapter Text
Peter was getting older. He turned twenty just recently. His roster was getting stacked more and more every day.
The Vulture. The Shocker. Scorpion. Mysterio. Wilson Fisk. The Lizard. Rhino.
And now, Kraven the Hunter. Which was annoying because this guy wasn’t like the other guys he fought. There wasn’t anything personal. It wasn’t someone looking for some kind of revenge. It wasn’t because Peter was in the way of some insane goal.
No, Kraven just wanted to defeat Spider-man because apparently Peter was the perfect trophy to prove that he was the best hunter in the world. It’s not like Peter didn’t already have enough on his plate. It wasn’t like he was on the fucking brink at this point. It wasn’t like he had gotten an impossible amount of academic warnings because of god knows how many absences he has. He doesn’t even know how ESU hasn’t kicked him out yet.
“Too much potential and talent for our university’s STEM reputation to risk losing.” That’s what they had told Peter last time he had a meeting with an advisor.
It wasn’t like MJ was one stood up date away from breaking up with him. It wasn’t like he passed out in his shitty apartment in a fucked up suit all the time. It wasn’t like he couldn’t keep a job for more than two months because these villains don’t give him a break.
Peter’s fine. Seriously.
Even as he’s hissing through a self-stitching session, he is completely fine. He takes a break midway through closing the wound and rests his hand on his leg.
Peter looks around his bathroom.There’s a trail of smudged blood leading to the bathtub where he’s currently laying down. Kraven thought it’d be fun to try stabbing his side as if that’d kill him. Peter doesn’t die that easily.
The little cabinet window above his sink really needs some cleaning. His entire apartment needs some cleaning in general. Peter just can’t seem to find the fucking time to.
He looks down and decides to keep stitching. Right as he stabs the needle, his phone on the bathtub rim starts vibrating and falls into the tub. He moves to look at who it is.
Ned.
Ned? Peter picks up his phone, hissing a “shit” when he realizes his hand is covered in blood therefore staining his phone. He answers and holds the phone up to his ear. “Ned?”
“Hey, Peter. How’s- um, how’re you?” He sounds so casual. Like he’s just sitting at his desk after finishing some work. Like he’s got hot chocolate in the microwave ready to head to a nice, made bed right after.
“I’m fine. What’s up with you? It’s-” He glances at his phone briefly. “It’s 2 AM.”
“Well, Mister- Peter, are you sure you’re okay?”
He glanced down at his wound stitch that was almost done. “Yeah, of course I am. Why?”
“You just sound… different.” There was a pause as Peter closed his eyes. “You know you can still tell me anything right? I know it’s been a while, and I’m in Cambridge now, but-”
“I’m fine, Ned. Puberty. That’s weird. Why did I say that? Anyways, why’d you call?”
“Um… Mister Stark called me? He asked me about you and I said I don’t know. Dude, I’m pretty sure he forgot I left New York.”
That made Peter sit up and straighten. He winced as his wound seemed to pound in pain. “Why’d he call?”
“Well, he wanted me to tell you when you’re available to meet because apparently you won’t answer your phone and he doesn’t know where you live anymore.”
Peter was quiet for a moment as he pondered. There wasn’t a big fight. Nothing really happened. Peter just… grew up. He started fighting alone. He dealt with his own things. He had his own problems. Mister Stark just wasn’t really a good person to go to with these things.
“Alright, thanks Ned.”
“P-” Peter hung up.
Sure, he could go to Stark for help on tracking somebody down or maybe just some normal advice on superheroing. Help with his Physics homework.
But, Mister Stark couldn’t help him with dealing with two lives. Stark didn’t know what it was like being both Spider-man and Peter Parker full-time while trying to keep them separate. He didn’t get that Peter couldn’t just leave some of the stuff to other heroes. It was always personal. Stark would never understand what it meant to have the trust of another hero who had a secret identity just like he did. Stark would never understand what it meant to lose people like Peter did. Stark would never understand the type of weight on Peter’s shoulders.
He guessed that lack of understanding and relatability evolved into bitterness towards Stark. How the man had it all so easy for him while Peter had to sleep with one eye open just in case someone somehow had figured him out. How Stark could fall asleep with a million security systems and backup, the world knowing who he was, and the world loving Iron Man. Meanwhile, Peter fell asleep in a small apartment, the world never able to know who he was, and half the city hating him.
Peter couldn’t afford to let the world know his identity, let alone more than a handful of people. Juggling the people who knew his identity because he was stupid in high school and the couple of them he had told on his own accord was stressful enough. And Peter didn’t only show up for big shit like Stark did. Stark was never a vigilante. The time he had a secret identity for a bit didn’t even count because he was a damn billionaire getting involved with the military. Everyone just praised him when he revealed himself.
If Peter did, there’d probably be a manhunt with all of his enemies going bloodthirsty. Half of the police force wants him behind bars anyway. Just like Daredevil and the others.
He had small, grounded things to deal with. Personal shit.
Peter couldn’t wrap his mind around how billionaire Tony Stark who is also Iron Man could understand why Peter’s guilt was so fucking heavy. Why Peter couldn’t just not be Spider-man because he was having a long day.
That wasn’t an option, and it never will be.
Peter sighed and finished up stitching his wound. Once he did, he just layed there. He needs to clean the bathroom up. Maybe start with the bathtub.
He turned on the bathtub faucet and let the tub fill with water. Peter closed his eyes and let out a long breath.
As the tub filled with warm water around him, Peter thought about his life. He’d like to think it all started with the spider bite, but it didn’t. His parents were dead already. Uncle Ben would’ve died either way. It was a home invasion. If Peter wasn’t bit— if he wasn’t Spider-man— Uncle Ben would still be dead. It’s that fact that Peter is Spider-man and could have stopped him that keeps him up at night.
It’s like he was cursed. He sunk down a little into the bathtub water that had a pink tinge. After Ben, it was Gwen. The girl he met in his senior year of high school. There had been something there. A friendship that was almost a year old that had started to spring feelings between both of them.
A month before his birthday, the Lizard was hungry to kill him. Gwen had followed him to the rooftop he was fighting on because she had known him enough to know he was Spider-man.
Then, he had ran to protect her, but the Lizard pushed him off, making gravity take Gwen down with him.
Peter stuck to the wall, but Gwen didn’t. She couldn’t.
He had shot out a web. He pulled her limp body up, and only when she was in his arms did he notice her neck in a heart-stopping angle. Unnatural.
She was dead. And Peter had killed her.
He let his entire head emerge into the pink water. Maybe that was his breaking point. The point that made non-stop babbling about his day to Mister Stark become late nights stitching up his own wounds in a bloody bathtub. Or maybe it had just been the last straw. The tragedy in a mess of unfortunate things that happened to him making the weight on his shoulders even heavier.
Being Spider-man was a chore. It was sucking the life out of him, but he couldn’t stop. How could he? When so many of his enemies were already so dead-set on ending him. He had to protect the people he had left. May. MJ.
Yesterday, Uncle Ben. Today, Gwen. Tomorrow…
He gasped out of the water for fresh air and turned off the bathtub faucet.
He just had to keep going. For MJ and May.
He was moving in with MJ soon despite his lack of showing up to dates. She was messed up just like him.
She grew up in a toxic household with an abusive father. Her mother had died at some point, but MJ was really quiet about that. Recently, in the last year, she had started smoking and drinking more often.
Peter didn’t bug her about it. If he was always almost killing himself with Spider-man, he had no right to bother MJ about her bad habits.
They both had their long list of issues which was probably why they had clicked so well in a relationship. Bad habits too. They’d always be there for each other.
If he really thought about it, maybe it was good that Gwen and him never dated. She was so good. It was almost like she had a little halo over her head.
Peter would’ve exhausted her.
He pushed himself out of the bathtub, his suit dripping wet now.
He’d be fine. He was fine.
Tony had retired completely to focus on his family. After Thanos, his entire right arm was scarred forever. Same for a portion of his neck. He had healed on Wakandan technology.
He let out a frustrated groan as he sat back on his lab chair.
Tony had thought about a certain kid who wasn’t a kid anymore he had been trying to reach out to.
Peter Parker.
Peter’d never pick up his phone. Always with the “This is Peter Parker. I’m not at the phone right now, so call again in an hour” voicemail. Wouldn’t answer his texts. As much as Tony hated admitting it, he didn’t even know where he lived anymore. Tony couldn’t even try catching him as Spider-man. The kid was making it so hard because apparently he didn’t do teams anymore. Didn’t even do anything for SHIELD.
The last option left for Tony was to force-find Peter’s apartment.
Now, why was Tony so determined to find Peter? Because he was worried.
Peter and him had distanced themselves from each other, and Tony was fine with that. People grew up, and Tony had been through it before.
Yet, Peter had always seemed to pick up his phone every couple weeks when Tony called just to check in. However, the call times had gotten shorter and shorter. At some point, Peter had stopped picking up. Tony let it be because maybe Peter needed some time to himself.
That time turned into months. Those months turned into half a year. Peter didn’t even pick up when Tony had called for his birthday.
Tony was worried which was why he was currently driving to Queens. Where Peter used to live, and where May now lives alone. He even called Ned Leeds just to find out he went to Cambridge for college.
Just in case, Tony called again.
It rang.
Then, again.
And again.
“This is Peter Parker. I’m not at the phone right now, so call in an hour.”
Tony let out a small huff. It was worth a shot.
Once he got there, he slipped on his cap and sunglasses, and he knocked on the door he used to see so much.
It opened, and it was May Parker. She had shorter hair now, but she looked the same otherwise.
She smiled at him, “Tony Stark. Long time no see.”
The only smile that could compete with May’s was Morgan’s. “Yup. How’ve you been?”
“Good, good. You wanna come in for some tea? It’s late.”
Tony shook his head, “No, I’m okay, but thank you. Do you know where Peter lives now?”
May raised her eyebrows. “Oh, he didn’t tell you?”
“No, we haven’t spoken in a while.”
May laughed, “Yeah, I know how it is. Once he didn’t visit or call me for two weeks. I was so worried.” More like six months, Tony wanted to say. “Well, he’s in a small apartment building here in Queens. 20 Ingram Street in Forest Hills.”
Tony nodded, “Thank you. I’ll see you around, May.” He tried to reflect her warm smile back.
She kept her smile, “Any time. You can come by whenever. Oh, does this mean Peter’s going back to SI?”
Tony paused for a moment. May never found out about Peter being Spider-man, and he guessed the kid never told her.
He shrugged at her, “We’ll see.”
When Tony got there, he grimaced at the sad sight of the apartment building. It was one of those reddish ones squished between two others.
The flight of stairs was no easy feat, but Tony managed to survive that. God, the lack of working out from retiring really showed. He knocked on the door littered with paint chips.
No answer. He knocked again, but got the same result. Great. He walked all those stairs for nothing then.
All he had left was to try to corner Spider-man. That shouldn’t be too hard. At least, Tony hoped it wouldn’t be.
After two hours of flying around New York City, Tony landed on a rooftop in Hell’s Kitchen. Spider-man was nowhere to be seen which caused him to let out a frustrated sigh.
“Hey, FRI?”
“Yes, boss?”
“Track down Peter Parker for me, will ya?”
“I cannot locate Peter Parker, but his apartment had been broken into through the window an hour ago.”
Tony mentally thanked his AI’s intelligence. “Got it, sweetheart.”
As Tony flew over to said apartment again, he started to think about what could have possibly caused the kid to just cut himself off from other superheroes. He recalled just a few years ago when Peter had been so adamant and excited about fighting with the Avengers. He joined Tony in a heartbeat because he wanted to be like an Avenger. He looked up to Tony.
Peter always strived to be a good hero, and Tony saw he had a heart of gold. He just couldn't understand why Peter- Spider-man had become such a loner all of a sudden. Maybe Tony should do some real investigating, but to his knowledge, May was okay, and his friend Ned was okay too. He'd know because he had spoken to them both that week. This loner schtick was months long. Scratch that, it started as soon as Peter graduated high school. It's just gotten worse in recent months. Tony was going to get to the bottom of it.
This time, when Tony arrived at Peter's apartment, he went through a window, leaving his suit in incognito mode hovering outside. When he looked around after stepping in, he realized he came in through the living room. Kitchen? It was a mesh of the two because of the small size of the apartment by the looks of it. He looked around and saw a body utterly passed out on the worn couch. The darkness of the night and lack of lights turned on obstructed his view of anything. He saw the outline of a lamp and turned the little switch making the room somewhat more visible.
The kid was in his dirty suit face down on the couch. Tony almost laughed at the sight.
“Kid-” He was cut off with a loud snore. Jesus.
Tony walked closer and decided to shake him awake. Peter barely moved with a grunt. He stayed asleep. Great. Tony pushed him harder, “Peter!”
Peter quickly turned around and fell on the floor with his head banging against the wood. “Fuck-” He looked up at Tony with his eyes squinting. “What do you want? What'd I do?”
Tony grimaced at the type of reaction he got. “I don't want anything. Get up, we need to talk.”
Peter groaned as he lazily sat up, “God, couldn't this have waited? What time is it? 2 AM?”
He sat down on a chair that was just in the living room for some reason. “3 AM.”
“I don't see why you decided to bother me at 3 fucking AM. You could've stopped by during the day, y'know, when most people are awake.”
Tony crossed his arms. “That's hard when you don't answer your phone, you are apparently never in your apartment, and don't work with anyone as Spider-boy anymore.”
Peter made a disgusted face when he looked down at his suit. “Jokes on you, I don't even know where my phone is.”
Before Tony said anything back at the stupid defense, he stared at Peter's torso that was now illuminated by the lamp. It had red smudges on it and the torn suit allowed Tony to see a freshly stitched wound. “Peter, what the hell is that?”
Peter seemed to follow his line of sight and looked down at said wound. “The ugly side of your friendly neighborhood Spider-man. Not everything's sunshines and rainbows when you have a bunch of animal themed lunatics breathing down your neck trying to kill you.” Tony frowned at the casual pessimism. “To be fair, not every single one is a furry. Mysterio was just a sadistic wannabe Doctor Strange. Shocker was a deadly lightbulb. Fisk was a fat dude.”
“Peter, are-”
“Come to think of it, they're not all animal themed. Just most. Still annoying.” Peter stared at nothing. “This, though,” he pointed as his wound, “is from a new guy. Kraven. Trying to be the best hunter in the world by defeating me. He swears I’m, like, magic or something. Y’know once he thought I was a vampire? Which... is flattering, to be honest.”
“Kid. You gotta tell me what’s been going on with you.”
Peter looked at him and gave him a small crooked smile. “Whaddaya mean?”
Tony sighed as the worry in his chest grew. “This.” He motioned at Peter. “You're barely taking care of yourself. You do everything alone. You don't ask or even like people to help you.”
Peter stood up and walked over to close a door that looked like it led to the bathroom. “Stark. Tony. Mister Stark. Whatever. I need you to stop trying to- to fix everything.”
Tony frowned. “Fix? I'm just trying to help. I don't want you to be miserable. I want you to-”
“To be better? What was that thing you guys always said? The best out of all of us? It's not that easy, y'know-“
Tony stood up, frustrated, “Peter if you just let us help you- if you let me help you with these animal themed lunatics, you wouldn't be here like this! If you weren't so stuck up on a secret identity-”
Peter snapped back, “You think I like trying to be two people at once? I'm trying to protect people! I don't have the luxury of being a billionaire and just announcing who I am.” He took a breath before continuing, “You don’t get it. You never will. You’re a martyr. Half of this city hates me. I’m tired. I have issues. I have a life outside of this- this spandex.”
“That wouldn't be a problem if you let me in.”
“Well, I just can't trust people like that anymore! Because last time that happened, I got manipulated! I got tricked! People died!”
Tony felt hurt blossom inside of him. “You don't trust me?”
Peter's eyebrow twitched, “Why should I? Weren't you the one who locked up your own team?”
Tony went speechless for a moment. Peter had opened up an hold wound that still hadn't quite healed. Peter knew Tony hated to talk about it too. It never came up when they still had their lab days together. Yet, here he was, using it against him in a way Tony would have never expected him to before. “Kid, you have no idea what you're talking about.”
“I'm not your kid! Stop saying that!”
Tony furrowed his eyebrows. “My point still stands. You have no clue what you're talking about, so drop it. All you know is beating up some criminals and helping old ladies cross the street.”
Peter all but gasped. “You think that's all I do? I have to make decisions. All the time. What's best, what helps. I can't just- y'know what? Forget it.”
“What great decisions do you make, Parker? Which two bit mugger you beat up first?” Tony knew he was being harsh. He knew that even with calling him by his surname he was being harsh. But, Peter had gone too far too. Tony was just telling Peter the truth while Peter was being an ignorant kid.
“You really don't- okay, Stark. That's it. You have to leave. Get out of my apartment.”
“No. I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on.”
Peter let out a sarcastic breath of a laugh. “You're really gonna keep trying? You're not getting anywhere, so just go.”
“You can't just keep living like this! This loner life? Trying to do everything by yourself? It's gonna catch up with you.”
Peter stepped closer to him and growled, “Leave my apartment.”
For a good moment, Tony was stricken by the sudden aggressiveness of Peter. The anger Tony could tell he was holding back. A melancholy washed over Tony looking at Peter's dark circles and short temper. “What would your aunt think about you like this?”
Peter's eyes widened slightly as he froze suddenly. Then, his expression got even angrier. Tony did a double take when Peter grabbed the collar of Tony's shirt. “I'm a word away from hurling you out of my window.” The fact that Peter was taller than him now made it even more terrifying. Tony believed him.
Who would've thought that Tony'd be scared of Peter one day?
Tony placed a hand on Peter's fist while not even trying to fight against his strength. “Fine. I'm leaving.”