Chapter Text
"Um..." he shifted on his feet, unable to get the words out.
Was it really that hard to speak?
"Hyung... did you want to say something?" Jeongguk laughed nervously, clearly uncomfortable with the awkward silence.
Talk you idiot.
"Will you go on a date with me?" he blurted out suddenly, words barely comprehensible.
"Pardon?"
Shit. Does he have to repeat himself?
"Jiminie..." Jeongguk worriedly inquired.
"Will you go on a date with me?" He said louder this time and shoved the box of chocolate he had hidden behind his back all along to Jeongguk's hands. Jeongguk was caught off guard at the sudden reaction, but his expression morphed into something that settled a very ominous feeling deep in Jimin’s chest.
He shouldn't have done that.
Fuck you, taehyung.
"I..." Jeongguk silently mumbled, clearly willing to be disappeared into the thin air. "Hyung... I like someone else." He said the last words very quietly, but Jimin felt them cut deep wounds on his heart nevertheless.
“Oh…”
Jeongguk handed back the chocolate box to Jimin, as if he hadn't stayed up all night just to make sure the chocolates were sweet enough the way Jeongguk likes them. As if he hadn't messed up several times before he finally made the perfect, flawless heart-shaped chocolates.
Jimin felt so stupid at that moment.
Stupid for being brave enough to think he had a chance to begin with.
Stupid for trying.
Jeongguk mumbled a quiet I’m sorry and left Jimin in the middle of the courtyard. And all that remained was a box of chocolate and a rejected heart.
And if Jimin had cried his eyes out, while desperately hugging taehyung who whispered sweet words into his hair, that was something need not to be known.
+++
Trying to fit back to the group of friends was too difficult, especially when there was a certain someone in the group of the said friends. Especially when that certain someone had rejected you and left you among the debris of a broken heart and broken hopes.
But friends were inviting. They understood and waited patiently until the ball of sunshine in form of a Jimin made its way back home.
Encountering Jeongguk was tiring. He felt as though he had to tip toe around him lest he would catch his attention.
And Jimin feared those eyes bearing into him, undressing his soul and leave his sincere emotions naked for the world to see and mock him for considering something way out of his league.
It took a while before things got back to normal. Or at least normal enough for Jimin to not feel like he has to wear an invisible robe each time he neared Jeongguk. Normal as long as Jimin doesn't get too caught up fighting his demons, doesn't entangle himself in the web of insecurities and the memory of a rejection.
He may still flinch each time Jeongguk speaks to him, may break eye contact if the boy looks at him for too long but that’s the best you could get out of him.
Some thought that Jimin will stop pampering Jeongguk with affection after getting rejected. But to him, loving Jeongguk was something completely out of his hands. Something he couldn't help doing. Honestly speaking, he didn't want to stop his emotions either. Because nothing in the world would fill his heart up the way a full bunny smile takes over Jeongguk’s face every time Jimin makes him his favorite banana milk.
Those little acts of affection still remained, though not as strong as before. Subtle and warm. Like a small flame of a forgotten candle.
+++
It was a warm Monday afternoon when things went downhill, once again. When the pain of another heartbreak was the least expected.
Jimin had just finished his class and as he needed another round of caffeine in his system to survive through the day, he headed towards the small cafe near the university. He got his usual favorite and subconsciously got one for Jeongguk too, since he knew the boy must be in his break and in need of coffee just like Jimin.
He was walking through the corridor when he heard a distinct voice, he would recognize anywhere he'd go.
He walked towards the empty dance studio; the door was left ajar.
"I love you." Came Jeongguk’s voice, making Jimin stop in his tracks, his blood ran cold.
"Jeongguk-ah" Jimin recognized the voice as Seokjin's.
"Do i even stand a chance?"
"You know I love you as my little brother."
"Can't you for once see me as something else?" Jeongguk pleaded desperately, a hint of frustration clear in his voice.
"But... Jimin loves you."
"What does he have to do with this?" Jeongguk snapped and Jimin felt his body go numb.
"This will break his heart again."
"Well, it's not like I asked for his affection." Jimin almost heard his heart shatter, the way a glass would when turned into a mass of glittering tiny pieces.
"Don't say it like that." Seokjin's voice was small, reminding him of a very particular day.
"You didn't answer me. Do I even stand a chance?" Jeongguk gritted his teeth and Jimin knew he must be holding back his tears.
"Sorry." Came the melancholic whisper.
This was Jimin’s cue to leave but his feet were rooted to the ground, as if his body was weighed down with stones. He didn't know what to feel. Seemed like the blow was not stricken yet. Until Jeongguk stormed out of the studio and noticed the boy standing there like a statue.
"You really have to ruin everything, huh?" Jeongguk said venomously, words cutting through Jimin's soul like a sharp knife.
He didn't have a chance to reply, not that he would've said something if he could, and Jeongguk turned on his heels and headed to the opposite direction.
He was only shaken out of his stupor when Seokjin called out his name, sounding surprised.
"Jimin?" One look at Jimin’s condition and it was evident he'd heard everything he shouldn't have.
"Sorry." He handed seokjin the coffees and walked away. As far away possible as he could, not even noticing the flow of warm tears trickling down his face.
Needless to say, classes were long forgotten, phones were turned off and blankets were pulled over heads, muffling the sounds of heart-wrenching sobs.
+++
A few days passed before Jimin had the heart to face everyone. But sitting at a table with them, laughing and conversing as if nothing had happened was too much. So that's how Jimin ended up sitting alone under a tree, silently munching on a small sandwich he'd half-heartedly made for himself.
"Need company?" Jimin looked up and saw taehyung standing over him, a sympathetic smile over his face.
"Sure."
"How are you handling?" He asked after a while.
"Pretty fine." Jimin shrugged, as if he hadn't bled tears just a few days ago, as if he's still not doing everything within his power to stop himself from crying every time he remembered.
"You know I'm here for you buddy, right?" Taehyung held Jimin’s hand and guided his head to rest on his shoulder.
“I know.” Jimin answered, silently sniffing.
“It’s okay.” He patted on his friend’s hair, and kissed the top of it, and the frail dam Jimin had built over the last three days, cracked once again.
+++
Jimin does get back up on his feet, even if he still feels battered and bruised. Because one thing he'd learned to believe was the words of a kind mother whispering "you're my strong little boy" every time Jimin falls off his bike and his soft hands hit the jagged ground, until he'd finally learned to ride his bike without the training wheels.
But the distance he'd put between himself and everyone was inevitable. It was bound for them to drift away after all that had happened. And It's not like anyone was choosing sides, but they knew better than to force themselves on Jimin. They were still there, cheering him on from far apart. The only one standing by his side was taehyung. Because to Jimin, taehyung was the pillar he could rely on every time the winds pushed Jimin too hard and threatened to throw him down again.