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Cass dreams of drowning in the Lazarus Pit. She drowns in liquid fire, toxic and awful and burning, searing away her very self in the process of restoring her body. She dreams of every wound, every scar she’s ever had, reopening and then sealing in a second, a lifetime of healing and aches and growing pains thrown into a single moment, and she opens her mouth to scream but she’s choking, choking on the Lazarus Pit, choking on her mother’s voice—
“Cass!” Steph is there, shaking her, despite the fact that she should know better—that she should never wake Cass when she’s close, that Cass might strike out by accident and hurt her. But Steph doesn’t care—her hands are on Cass’s shoulders and her whole body screams worry and concern.
Cass gasps, air filling her lungs, not liquid, and she just sits there, staring at Steph’s face. She’s soaked in a cold sweat, her chest heaving as she takes gigantic breaths, trying to slow down her racing heart.
Steph drops her hands to her sides, and Cass sees that Steph must have run from the guest-room. “You were screaming,” Steph says softly.
“Sorry,” Cass whispers, drawing her legs up to her chest.
“Don’t be,” Steph says. “I, uh, I’ll leave you alone.” She doesn’t ask what Cass was dreaming about.
Cass reaches out and grabs Steph’s hand. “Don’t. Please.” She had been dying, and Steph had been dead too—she had thought she’d seen her, behind her closed eyelids, as she thrashed in the Pit. “Don’t leave me.” Not again, she wanted to say. Don’t leave me again. Don’t run again. Stay. I need you.
She says none of those things.
She doesn’t realize she’s crying until Steph is touching her again, cupping her face in her hands and pressing her forehead against Cass’s own. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always. I’m here with you. I’m not going anywhere.” She brushes away Cass’s tears with her thumbs, and Cass stares at her for a moment before kissing her frantically, gripping Steph’s shoulders tightly enough to leave bruises as she tries to say everything that she doesn’t have the courage to speak out loud.
Steph kisses her back, holding Cass close, whispering “I’m here, I’m here,” between their lips meeting—whether it’s a promise or a statement, Cass doesn’t know. “I’m here, Cass, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”