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Luigi can hear Bowser long before he even sees him.
“What!? He wants to talk to ME?! Why would he- I mean he’s just— YES I want you to send him in!!!!”
Luigi can’t help but laugh to himself. He opens and closes his hands a few times in broad, stimming strokes, so that his fingers slap against his palms; the gloves muffle the sound, of course, but the ache of his knuckles from reaching so far is satisfying, grounding, gives him something to think about that isn’t how awkward he looks standing here, and how every Troopa in this castle has been staring at him since he walked in.
Which, fair. But still really awkward.
Finally a poor magikoopa—not Kamek, notably—waves him through the frankly gigantic doors and into Bowser’s throne room. The magikoopa coughs awkwardly (Thanks! For nothing, Luigi thinks bitterly) and then ducks right back out, leaving Luigi to cross the gigantic throne room on his own. He’s not, like, actually out of breath by the time he’s at the other end of it (he’s not that out of shape!), but that was ridiculous!
“Wow, you need to get a better place to greet people,” Luigi says before he really thinks about it, but also, he’s pretty sure after all the world-saving adventuring he and Bowser were just on together, he gets to tease, just a little.
“The long walk helps with intimidation,” Bowser says, seriously. Or, Luigi thinks he’s being serious. But even he scratches at his nose awkwardly after that, so. “...but maybe I do gotta get somewhere to meet with, uh. People. For private matters.”
“You can just say friends, you know.”
“I’m pretty sure friends is too strong of a word. Sidekick, maybe.” Then Bowser leans forward in his throne, grinning. “But, I guess you’re already filling that role, aren’t you? The Mario Brothers, ain’t it?”
“Har har,” Luigi says back, not with a lot of humor. Bowser snickers, though, and it’s... it’s weird, being so fond of the guy, all of a sudden. Saving the world together does that to you, Luigi guesses. “Anyway,” he says aloud, to get both himself and Bowser back on track. “Look, I came here to ask you something, and it’s kind of serious? So, can we stop with the joking. ...and maybe find somewhere that isn’t your throne room to talk?”
Bowser blinks at Luigi. “Uh,” he says, and then he’s like... stuck, for a solid two seconds. Luigi claps his fingers against his palms a few more times to wait out the silence. “Yeah, that’d be smart. I was just saying something about that, wasn’t I!” He hops out of the throne, all gusto with his chest puffed out. “Here, this way, I totally have shortcuts installed that’ll take me back to my rooms, who wants to walk all the way across the castle after a long day of work, honestly.”
He waves for Luigi to follow him, so Luigi does. Bowser hits a stone in the back wall with significant force, and then the whole wall slowly slides backwards, revealing a narrow passage. Standard castle fare, Luigi guesses, knowing that Peach still has a slide hidden in hers somewhere. Unfortunately Bowser isn’t leading him to a slide, but an elevator. ...makes sense that his rooms are in the giant stone model of his head, actually.
Bowser’s personal rooms are pretty big and... exactly what Luigi expected of Bowser, frankly. Ridiculously overdone, cushy, red and green and gold trim everywhere. Luigi’d pay more attention to it if he wasn’t, you know, trying to figure out where he was meant to sit. Bowser instantly flops down on a big couch, and the closest chair is close but not like that close and...
Ugh, whatever. Dealing with Bowser being insufferable in one fashion or another was what Luigi knew he was signing up for when he decided to come here instead of asking Peach.
“Alright,” Bowser says, legs up on the couch, his elbow shoved against the arm of it and holding his head up like that. He’s just lounging. “What was it you wanted to ask about?”
Luigi sits at the edge of his chair—it’s slightly too big for him, even with his long legs—and leans forward, hands folded in his lap. He taps his thumbs together, nervously.
“Well,” Luigi says, and then has to stop to clear his throat. “Well. It’s about... you know how we went on an adventure together, right? With- with Flipside, and- and Dimentio.”
“Yeah, that clown,” Bowser says, face scrunching up with his disgust. “What about—him? Are you asking about the clown or, like, something else. If it’s about the wedding, me ‘n Peach talked with our lawyers—turns out being royalty means you can’t just stand at an altar and say I do, there’s a whole ton of paperwork you gotta fill out, and Peach doesn’t want to fill it out...” He trails off about here. “You don’t care about the wedding, huh?”
“Not really,” Luigi admits, apologetically. Bowser throws up his free hand in defeat, but from his shrug he doesn’t seem that mad.
“Well, what is it, then? You said it was kinda serious, right?” Saying that, Bowser frowns. “Which... makes me wonder why you came to me. You know your brother was with you the whole- I mean, as much as I was, right? Just ask him!”
“Yeah, Mario’s not talking.”
Bowser levels Luigi with a look like when does Mario ever talk.
“Ugh! You know what I mean,” Luigi snaps. He bounces his legs anxiously. “Look. I don’t really... remember what happened during that final battle, with Dimentio. My memories go from him calling my name, to... to... opening my eyes and Mario’s clinging to me and telling me everything’s fine. And I don’t- I don’t want to hurt my bro, you know? But I... I gotta know what happened.”
“Oh,” Bowser says. And then he doesn’t say anything for a bit.
He buys himself time by swinging himself upright, feet landing on the floor. He sits and he holds onto the edge of the couch for a while.
Finally: “That bad, huh?” Luigi laughs, except it’s more a croak than it is a laugh. He knew it was bad, it had to be bad, because Mario’s had nightmares nearly every night since they got back and simply won’t talk about it. Which, like, the only other thing Mario has barely refused to talk about was that thing with the Shadow Queen...
Stars, if it was as bad as what happened between Peach and the Shadow Queen... Something in Luigi’s stomach curdles at the thought.
Bowser grimaces, then taps his chest. “You sure you want to hear this from me? I mean, why didn’t you ask Peach?”
Because maybe Peach would lie to him, too.
Not that Mario’s lying to him, but... still. If there’s anything he can expect from Bowser, it’s honesty, at least on this. Bowser doesn’t care enough to try and “protect” him from the truth, or anything like that.
“Does it matter? I ended up deciding to ask you, and here I am,” is what Luigi actually tells Bowser. “I have to know. I can’t stand being in the dark.”
Bowser sighs, long and slow, his shoulders heaving with the effort. “Alright,” he says. “It wasn’t—it wasn’t that bad, really. But Mario handled it... poorly, you know?”
“Bowser. What did Dimentio do?”
“He... fused you with the Chaos Heart, I guess? And threw himself in the pot, too. And what came out was... I mean, it was that clown through and through, but it.” He swallows, visibly. “It had your face.”
Luigi closes his eyes and buries his face in his hands. Yeah, he thinks, pushing his fingers into his forehead, yeah, of course Mario handled that poorly. Of course Mario is having nightmares about it. Of course Mario doesn’t want to tell him about it. Mario probably doesn’t even want to think about it.
“Also, uh,” Bowser says. He clears his throat. “While I have you here.”
“Yeah?”
“How much of the… rest of it do you remember? Not the fight, the journey. Stuff about Count Bleck.”
...there’s more he remembers about Count Bleck than it would make sense to remember, that’s for sure. “Don’t remember much before Mario found me in the Underwhere,” Luigi says, which isn’t wholly true, but everything he remembers before that is really scattered. He’s missing too many pieces of the puzzle for it to make sense.
“Well.” Bowser fidgets, lifting his left foot to rest it on his right knee. “You know Count Bleck’s assistant? Bat lady?”
“Nastasia?” Luigi supplies. He doesn’t know how he remembers her name.
“Yeah, her,” Bowser says. “She like, had the power to mind control people, or something? Brainwashed half of my Troopas into thinking they served that Bleck guy instead of me, it was wild. And, uh." He pauses to cough. “And, you know, she... she got you, too.”
...suddenly Luigi understands why he remembers her name so well.
“I was working with Count Bleck?” he asks, because that’s going to explain a lot more about the weird memories he’s got. Oh, he still doesn’t have all of the missing pieces, but he sure has enough to start making out the picture.
Bowser nods, seriously. “Called yourself ‘Mr. L’, seemed real obsessed with making the Bleck guy proud, tussled with us a few times over—”
“I fought you!?” Luigi interjects, his voice cracking around the words. “I actually—I battled you?”
He says ‘you’, but he means Mario. Stars. Luigi can’t help but imagine it, imagine actually hurting his brother. A hammer swing to the face, or maybe lightning called down from the sky, or—Luigi presses a hand to his mouth as his stomach bottoms out, trying to bite back the nausea. He can’t breathe.
“Hey, hey,” Bowser says, rapidly, and then he’s on his feet, then he’s standing in front of Luigi, his hand awkwardly on Luigi’s back. Luigi drops his gaze to his knees so he’s not staring at Bowser’s stomach, then gives up and squeezes his eyes shut. “No, hang on, you didn’t hurt Mario. You fought me and Peach. We didn’t let you anywhere near Mario.”
Having a Koopa hand pressed into your shoulder is more grounding than it has any right to be. Luigi breathes, but he’s shaking. He slaps his hands against his knees a few times, working out his nervous energy.
“But I- that means I tried—” he stammers, reading into the implication.
“I mean, yeah, and...” Bowser lets out a really frustrated huff. “Gotta admit, got something else that isn’t pretty to tell you—”
“Great!!” Luigi laughs, into hysterics now.
“—but. You didn’t hurt Mario. Nowhere close. Mario got out of the way so me ‘n Peach could handle it, and you were too focused on the Pure Heart to actually care about Mario specifically. Okay? You didn’t hurt your brother, Luigi. I promise.”
Luigi is in a terrible mood, however, so he snaps back: “Like your promises mean much.”
“Wow!” Bowser lifts his hand from Luigi’s back. “Wow!!!!!!!! You were the one who came to me about—ugh, look, whatever, fine! Don’t believe me! Ask Peach later if it helps! Ask Mario later if you want!”
Bowser’s smug tone suggests he knows as well as Luigi does that he will probably not ask Mario about this. Maybe he should, but Luigi knows that Mario doesn’t want to think about this—understandably!!!!—and so reminding him of it is just going to make him upset and might not even end in a conversation, and making Mario needlessly upset is pointless. Especially since...
He does believe Bowser about this, he’s just in a terrible mood right now.
“You’re right, sorry,” Luigi mumbles, rubbing at his face with his hand. “I didn’t—mean that. I didn’t.”
“Glad to hear it!” Bowser says. “If we’d gone through that whole adventure together and you couldn’t even trust me to not lie about your brother, then what was the point of the adventure, huh!! You Mario brothers, I swear...” Bowser grumbles and shakes his head, but it... it makes Luigi laugh, just a little. Bowser’s tendency to swing things back around to being about himself is nothing if not good for humor, once you accept he’s just like that and also appreciate that it does successfully get you to stop thinking about the other thing.
...the other thing.
“What... was that worse thing you had to say?” Luigi asks, quietly, lifting his head to look at Bowser.
Bowser, who had puffed out his chest, stops doing that. “Oh yeah,” he says, and he’s scowling again. “...I don’t think Mario really believed it, even a second of it,” Bowser starts with, which isn’t comforting at all, “but some of the things you said when you were Mr. L... sounded a lot like you hated Mario. So.”
It’s like a punch to the face.
“What!?” Luigi shouts, feeling his hysterics return full force.
“You insulted the color red, his moustache—”
“His moustache!!! I would never!!!”
“I mean, yeah, that’s the point,” Bowser says. “Bat lady could make anyone do or say all sorts of things they wouldn’t normally. She made Peach marry me, and clearly Peach didn’t want that.” Bowser pauses here to roll his eyes, like he’s disappointed. Making this about himself is not actually comforting, this time. “So... even though you’d never insult Mario, she made you do that, too.”
“Ugh!!” Luigi says, and then remembers she’s still around, if he ever wanted to travel to Flipside, and... Whether or not he wants to confront her over that is going to have to wait until another day. He doesn’t have the stomach for it right now.
As it is, he’s shaking like a leaf, his hands trembling up until he grabs his knees. Those are also shaking, but at least he doesn’t have to watch his hands shake this way. He can just feel it, instead!
“Uh, sorry,” Bowser says. “I just... you said you didn’t want to be left in the dark, so I figured... Well, you know.”
Bowser’s painfully genuine and apologetic face is more than Luigi can handle right now, so he squeezes his eyes shut. He’s still shaking, anyway, knees knocking together.
“I- I appreciate it, r- really,” Luigi says, as evenly as he can.
“Sorry for bringing up bad memories...?” Bowser tries.
Luigi laughs, high-pitched and hollow. “Can’t be bad memories if I don’t remember them!” he says in a tone that might be mistaken for cheerful. Unfortunately, his imagination is going to have a fun time filling in all the gaps of what he can’t remember with things that are probably significantly worse than what actually happened.
Maybe he should go talk to Nastasia... if her magic includes mind control, maybe it also includes getting his memories back? It seems like a stretch, but...
Whatever, whatever. Future Luigi problems. Present Luigi has to finish this conversation with Bowser.
“J- Just... Just to get this straight,” Luigi says, opening his eyes again. “Not only did I, i- insult Mario, while brainwashed, I also- I... Dimentio put me in the blender with the Chaos Heart and created a monster with my face that absolutely definitely tried to kill you guys?”
Bowser makes a very exaggerated grimace with his face, then nods, gravely. “Yeah, that’s about the shape of it.”
Luigi lifts his shaking hands from his knees to bury his face in them, again. It doesn’t really help, but it gives him something to do. Stars... Stars... He barks out another hysterical fit of laughter. Of course Mario’s coping poorly!! Luigi’s coping poorly, and he didn’t even have to see it!!! He can’t even remember it!!!
Well, at least it’s going to haunt his nightmares too, now, and not just Mario’s. (He’s not sure that’s actually a good thing.)
Bowser coughs and clears his throat. “Do you... uh... Do you want a hug?” he asks. “Junior always says I’m good at hugs, but he’s probably biased.”
Oh, wow, Bowser not even boasting about something like that? He must really be trying to make Luigi feel better.
“I...” Luigi says, and then just kind of nods, miserable. Maybe that’ll help him stop from shaking so badly; otherwise he’s just going to tremble out of his skin, at this rate.
“Okay,” Bowser says, awkwardly, and shuffles closer to Luigi to wrap him up in a hug.
As far as hugs go it’s fine, really. Luigi could do without Bowser awkwardly patting him on the head, but... At least Bowser doesn’t say anything. And that includes him not saying anything about how long he has to stand there and hold Luigi until Luigi’s case of the shakes finally calms down.
“You know, I don’t think Junior’s biased,” Luigi says, when he finally pulls away from Bowser. “You are pretty good at giving hugs.”
“Haha!” Bowser puffs out his chest and pounds a hand against it. “Of course—I’m the best at everything!” he insists. “And having big strong arms makes for giving big strong hugs, right?” It’s clear halfway through that sentence even he isn’t sure he fully agrees with what he’s saying, but Luigi doesn’t comment on it.
What Luigi does is pat his knees and get to his feet. “Thanks for this,” he says. “I appreciate it.”
“Sure, no problem,” Bowser says. “You- I mean- I guess if you ever, need to talk again? Well... I’m very busy, but I could probably make room in my busy schedule. If you needed it.” He sniffs, exaggeratedly. “But if you’re done for now, then—I guess I better see you out, huh? Wouldn’t want you getting lost and hassling my Troopas. They’re busy recovering.”
Luigi laughs, awkward, but fond. “Yeah, I’d hate to interrupt all that.”
They don’t really say anything else to each other on the way out, but Luigi doesn’t mind it so much. He, like, doesn’t feel great. But he feels better.
The truth is scary. Like, really scary.
But... not knowing is even more terrifying.
He'd rather not be in the dark.