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Kevin is kind of losing it.
He’s eating his sad microwaved chicken as he rereads the script for what must be the 50th time. He couldn’t even be bothered to cook something for dinner. He’s too anxious to even think.
This audition isn’t like the others—Sangyeon said the director had been eyeing him specifically, along with two other rising actors. When he looked up the project, his eyes nearly popped out of his skull.
It’s a big one. It’s being produced by one of the most well-known names in the industry, and it really could be Kevin’s big break.
A copy of the script had been sent to him, and as soon he finished reading it, he resolved to get the part. The story is thoroughly enjoyable and it’s just the type of role he’d love to play—a charismatic young man who’s just indecisive and messy enough to be relatable. It would showcase his versatility quite well, he thinks.
The only problem he identifies after several run-throughs of the script in his room is he can’t get one scene quite right. And it’s one of, if not the most crucial scene in the whole thing. The direction for the rest of the script is clear enough, but there are barely any notes for this part. Kevin thinks it’s on purpose—a skilled actor should know what to do with a scene like this.
Does that mean he isn’t one?
He sighs and stabs at his chicken with renewed frustration, as Younghoon walks into the kitchen.
“Wow, someone’s grumpy,” he says, smirking at Kevin as he opens the refrigerator. “What’s got you all worked up?”
Younghoon was also formerly an actor—it’s how they became roommates in the first place. He stopped his acting work because he found quite the high-paying job at a media conglomerate. Jaehyun, his best friend from university and now working with him in the same workplace, moved in not long afterward. Kevin and Jaehyun had been awkward at first, but one day, Jaehyun asked for his help in pranking Younghoon, until it became quite the regular hobby due to the sheer fun it brings. They had been close ever since.
Maybe Younghoon could give him advice.
He swallows the chicken in his mouth before he responds. “It’s that audition I told you about.”
Younghoon turns to him after getting a snack bar from the fridge and sitting on the opposite chair. “Oh? The big one?” Kevin nods. “What about it?”
“It’s tomorrow, and I don’t know how I should do this one scene,” he runs a finger over that part in the script for emphasis.
Younghoon makes grabby hands at the script and Kevin slides it over to him. He doesn’t bother to point it out—the scene is encircled with red ink.
“What’s your problem with it, exactly?” Younghoon asks sincerely. Kevin gets it. It’s the first kiss shared between the two characters. It should be pretty straightforward, but—
“There are so many ways I could do it, I can’t settle on just one.”
There’s also another problem, and Kevin hesitates to voice it out loud. But he and Younghoon are friends; they’ve lived together for over two years and have confided in each other a lot during that time. Younghoon may tease him a lot but he never makes him feel bad about himself.
So he takes a deep breath and adds, “That, and I haven’t really, uh, kissed anyone in a while. I’m afraid I’m out of practice.”
“Oh Kevin,” Younghoon starts, not unkindly. “Kissing is like riding a bike. You don’t really forget how to do it.”
“Easy for you to say, you go out on dates all the time.”
Younghoon doesn’t deny it. He finishes his glass of cold water, holding Kevin’s gaze as he does, and places it back on the countertop.
“Would they even ask you to do that scene without a partner?”
Kevin shrugs. “They said they might bring in a couple of people at a time, to test chemistry.”
Younghoon hums. “Wanna rehearse your lines with me?”
It’s not anything new; it’s definitely not the first time Kevin has asked Younghoon for acting advice. If he’s free, Younghoon does run-throughs with him when he needs it.
“That’d be great.”
They move to the living room and Younghoon sits on the couch, the script on his lap as a guide. When he looks up at him, his gentle eyes are more piercing than they appear, and it makes Kevin nervous.
He clears his throat and recalls the top of the scene. It’s set in a ferris wheel carriage, after he and his best-friend-slash-love-interest escape from a tense incident at their workplace.
They reach the last lines of the scene before the kiss.
“Have you never done this before?”
Younghoon fills in for the other character. “I’ve never done this with someone I love.”
Then, they fall silent. Younghoon is looking at him, waiting for something. Kevin speaks to break the silence. “I’m thinking, it’s this dramatic scene, right? But like the character says, it’s their first time doing something like this, in all the time they’ve known each other. I can’t decide whether it should be this fierce, passionate kiss, or if it’s supposed to have a very intense buildup leading to a chaste, meaningful one.”
Younghoon doesn’t say anything for a moment, considering Kevin’s thought process. Then, he gets up from the couch and walks the short distance until he’s in front of him.
“Would you like to try?”
Kevin gapes at him. Does he mean what he thinks he means?
Younghoon must sense his mild panic, because he adds, “No pressure, of course. But if you’d like, you could try both, see which one feels more right.”
He can’t believe what he’s hearing. He has to be sure— “With you?”
Younghoon rolls his eyes. “Yes, dummy. With me. If you want.”
It should be fine, right? They’re actors. Well, Younghoon used to be an actor, and Kevin’s mostly stuck doing small commercials and indie films that barely break even. Still. This is his line of work, and Younghoon is an adult who knows what he’s doing.
“Uh, sure.”
Younghoon’s eyes widen slightly, as if he’s surprised Kevin took him up on his offer, and Kevin nearly panics again. But then his face smooths over, and he says, “Okay. Great. Do you wanna take it from the top?”
Kevin nods. They adjust their positions as if they’re on a big carriage, standing next to each other, looking out at a view. They repeat the lines again, and Kevin’s not surprised Younghoon has already memorized most of them, improvising slightly where he forgets the exact wording.
Then—
I’ve never done this with someone I love.
It’s Kevin’s cue. He turns from the view to Younghoon, who takes his time looking back. He’s so tall. Kevin always forgets how tall he is until he’s standing right next to him. Somehow, he also forgets how goddamn handsome he is. He feels intimidated, slightly, looking up at him and taking in every inch of his face. His forehead is covered by his bangs, his lips are turned downward and he looks so serious; he’s taking Kevin so seriously. He meets Younghoon’s intense gaze and he has to make a conscious effort to keep cool.
They’re just acting.
And yet, as he takes a step forward, he sees something flicker in Younghoon’s eyes. Maybe the acting streak never left him.
They’re chest to chest now, and as Younghoon takes a breath, Kevin can’t help but wonder if maybe—maybe it’s also affecting him.
This was his idea, anyway, so he calms his mind and does what feels natural. He lifts his hands to cup Younghoon’s delicate face, searching for any hint of hesitation—Younghoon is playing his best friend, one he’s known for half his life, one he trusts with his heart, one he’s scared of hurting—before leaning upwards, still, and pressing a light kiss to his mouth.
He doesn’t pull away at once; he lets the tension linger. It’s not hard. He notices that his heart rate has sped up despite himself, which is kind of pathetic because the kiss barely lasted a second. And they’re supposed to be acting. And this is Younghoon, his roommate, who he has seen throwing up after a night of too much partying, who he has seen fuck up a set of pancakes, who he has seen clip his toenails in the living room.
He’s never seen him like this, though. Up close, just this side of breathless, Younghoon looks divine.
He reminds himself not to indulge in it. If anything else, this kiss was supposed to be the chaste one, and the scene should have been cut by now. He withdraws his hands from Younghoon’s face and steps back.
They speak at the same time. Kevin says, “Was that okay?” as Younghoon says, “Did that feel alright?” and they dissolve into nervous laughter.
“Wanna try another?” Younghoon asks, and Kevin nods.
They resume their positions and go through the same lines. Kevin changes tack, moving closer to Younghoon before he says his last line for the scene. Younghoon looks at him and gulps, and Kevin goes for it.
It starts slow, with him purposefully catching Younghoon’s mouth a little clumsily and Younghoon changing the angle to fit their lips better, but then it gets more heated, with Kevin pulling Younghoon closer by the collar of his shirt and Younghoon circling his arms around Kevin’s waist.
Younghoon is an incredibly good kisser, and Kevin loses himself in it. He’s breathless and dizzy and they still aren’t stopping, and he thinks this is the one that feels right. How could it not feel right when it feels this good? When Younghoon’s hands feel so sure around him, and he’s starting to lick inside Kevin’s mouth—
The front door opens, and they freeze.
Shit. They break away, and when Kevin opens his eyes and dares to look in that direction, Jaehyun is staring at them with his mouth open.
He recovers quickly enough to speak. “Sorry to interrupt.”
Kevin can’t quite read the tone of his voice. He hastens to explain. “Jaehyun, it’s not what you think–”
“It’s alright, Kev, let me just take my shoes off and go to my room. Don’t let me stop your fun.”
“Seriously, Jaehyun, it’s practice for an audition,” he says hastily, before he says anything else that he might not recover from.
That stops Jaehyun in his tracks. “Is it, now?” he asks, looking a little brighter than he did just a moment ago. He looks at Younghoon, who can’t quite meet his stare. Jaehyun steps into the living room threshold, and Younghoon speaks up.
“Yeah, Kevin needs help practicing a tricky kiss scene.”
“What does that mean?”
“You should know, you’re the poster boy for awkward kissing.”
Jaehyun swats him. “That was supposed to be a secret, asshole.”
He turns to him, seeing the script left on the couch. “What troubles you, Kevin?”
Kevin takes the script and hands it to him, pointing to the encircled scene, explaining the background of the two characters as Jaehyun skims it.
“I just can’t decide on the approach,” he says. “Younghoon was helping me decide if I should go with a passionate one or something more understated.”
Jaehyun tears his gaze away from the script to look at Kevin.
“Why don’t you let the audience decide?”
It takes Kevin several beats to realize what he means, but Younghoon gets there first. “Jaehyun, don’t be a dick,” he says, bringing a palm up to his forehead.
“I’m not! Look, that kiss looked very real–” Kevin hopes he’s not blushing, he’s already extremely mortified as is, “–but knowing the context now, I’m not sure if it works.”
Younghoon looks sideways at Kevin, raising his eyebrows.
“I mean, it could help.” Kevin can’t believe he’s actually allowing this to happen.
“That’s the spirit,” Jaehyun moves between the two of them to sit on the couch, facing them. He stares at them expectantly, puts his hands together mimicking a clapperboard, and says, “And, action.”
Younghoon rolls his eyes, but he turns to Kevin and waits for him to start the scene. Kevin goes through the motions, even though he has no idea what the fuck is going on.
They get to their last lines, and Kevin tries to do the chaste kiss as he did it before, barely restraining himself from continuing the last kiss he had with Younghoon.
Jaehyun lets out a low whistle, and Younghoon looks just about ready to murder him. Jaehyun looks absolutely gleeful. “Well, that was something.”
But then he adds a caveat: “Now, I’m no actor, but I think there are more than just two options.”
“No one asked for your opinion, Jaehyun,” Younghoon says.
“I’m not asking you to do it! But Kevin, if you’d like to try one with me, I have an idea.”
Kevin thinks he’s truly lost it now. Not only has the number of times he’s kissed his roommate gone from zero to three in the span of a half-hour, now his other equally-hot roommate is also offering a kiss out of his own volition.
“Why not?” Why not? Kevin could smack himself. Did they all drink something funny? Are they okay?
Jaehyun looks pleased by his response. He silently reads over the lines another time before he stands, jostling Younghoon out of the way to take his place. Younghoon then takes his seat on the couch.
“Ready?” he asks Kevin, and Kevin would think it’s a bit patronizing if he wasn’t actually nervous. At least he broke that boundary with Younghoon now, but he had never imagined he’d kiss Jaehyun on the same night.
“Ready.”
Jaehyun looks expectantly at Younghoon, and he sighs. “Action.”
They do the scene, with Jaehyun doing Kevin’s lines now, so he could demonstrate how he’d do the kiss. Jaehyun is surprisingly decent at acting; his line delivery is not overdone nor is it emotionless. When they get to the last couple of lines, Kevin takes a tentative step forward, unsure of what Jaehyun plans to do. At least he had told Younghoon how he wanted to do it before he went ahead and actually did it.
So when Jaehyun closes the distance, Kevin can hardly believe what he does next. It starts much like the light kiss he had practiced with Younghoon, with Jaehyun disconnecting after a second. But then he slowly looks up from Kevin’s lips to his eyes, and he dives in again, this time with vigor, and all of Kevin’s thoughts fly out the window.
Younghoon is the one to stop them. “Jaehyun, I see what you’re going for.”
Jaehyun breaks away, almost begrudgingly, judging by the way his hand is still gripping Kevin’s arm. “Right?”
“I think it’s missing something, though.”
Are they still doing this? Kevin might die any second now. He doesn’t think he can handle another run-through with the rate they’ve been going.
“What do you mean?” Jaehyun asks, actually entertaining Younghoon as if what they’re doing is normal behavior for any one of them.
“I could show you. Kevin, would you mind if I did one with Jaehyun?”
At this point, he shouldn’t even be fazed. But his brain still takes a second to process everything: he has now made out with both of his roommates, and now his roommates are going to kiss while he watches. What sort of crazy alternate timeline did he get transported to?
Jaehyun, however, seems to be taking it in stride. He didn’t even bat an eye when Younghoon suggested a kiss between them, which Kevin thinks might be an indication of something more. There might be something they’re not telling him, or else something he had completely missed.
“Please.” He’s not even completely sure what he’s agreeing to.
Younghoon does Kevin’s lines, and Jaehyun plays the other character. Kevin can’t believe he’s actually watching this for free. They get to the final line, and Younghoon takes Jaehyun’s hands and interlaces their fingers before he leans in. He does the kiss much like Jaehyun did, minutes before, and Kevin is experiencing one million feelings simultaneously as he watches them kiss.
On one hand, he’s incredibly confused. On the other hand, he’s incredibly turned on. It’s a lot. It’s a lot for his already strained mind.
When they pull away, they all fall into silence, save for the sound of heavy breathing, tripled.
“So,” Jaehyun says, after what seems like an entire eon. “Which one are you gonna go for, Kev?”
He asks as if the audition is still what Kevin has on his mind right now.
“I think,” I think I’ve unlocked something between the three of us that I can’t even begin to comprehend. “I’m going to sleep on it and see what comes to me in the morning.”
“Fair.”
“We’ll talk after your audition, okay?” Younghoon says, eyeing him carefully, and maybe a little bit apologetically.
“Of course.”
Kevin walks to his room in a daze, not even daring to look back at the two, who he hears talking in whispers.
He enters his room and quickly locks it, whipping out his phone and calling Jacob.
When he picks up, Kevin doesn’t even know how to begin.
“Jacob, you’re never going to believe what happened.”