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I ran my thumb over Nene's hand.
In my heart, anxiousness brewed just like the coffee she was drinking. The morning's light shone through the window, soft and kind but I couldn't help but worry still. Mizuki did their best to help calm my nerves in the months leading up, even going as far as to help me pick out a ring since 'my tastes couldn't be trusted'.
A lighthearted sentiment, of course.
The mossy woman — at least, of the last 6 years, looked up at me with eyes similar to the ones that she always has. These past few years, they became a lot softer. Her wit was still there, the same bite in her sarcasm, but there was a more prominent creasing in her bottom lid. A slower, and less furrowed raise to her eyebrows; and her cheeks stayed pink, but now it was more of a dusted pink. Not the color of peaches mixed with roses (the red variant, of course) but it felt… Tranquil.
Nene laced her fingers between mine. For a moment I felt the nostalgia from the first few times we held hands. Flushed faces, no exchanged eye contact, and very awkward staring from Tsukasa and Emu.
"Is something up, Rui?"
Unlike back then, lying about my emotions was more often a white lie than not.
"Hm? I don't believe so…" I trailed off, looking for anything that could salvage the sentence without raising her suspicions. "I'm just happy to be with you."
"You're such a sap," responded Nene with a warm playfulness. She reached a hand to cover her nose and cheeks.
"Well, how could I not be? I actually have the theory that everyone is taken away by you, and I just happen to be more obvious than them."
She rolled her eyes, sipping away at her coffee. Maybe caffeine was her way of coping with the urge to argue with me.
In the split second I looked down, she began to respond.
"...You are really obvious, it's kind of endearing." Nene took a deep breath. "Very endearing."
Oh, to drop out of my seat and clench my hand over the arrow in my chest right now.
Nene's affection always felt like hot cocoa on a cold winter night. It wasn't uncommon anymore. Once so shy she could barely speak, she'd now grown comfortable with something as bold as that. But it still always took me by surprise, as though my heart wasn't beating, but shaking… Maybe that was a sign to also go in for my yearly checkup at the doctor, too. Nevertheless, the quaking in my heart only ever grew stronger from her.
"I-Is that so?" If I touched my cheeks, they'd probably be boiling.
She nodded, with the bridge of her nose flushing a bit deeper. I wished to stay in that moment forever, with the calmness between us living on and never ending. Instead, I settled for keeping it safe in my memories and praying that it never failed.
I would have some issues if it did.
Nene took her final sip from her coffee, and I got up as a silent offer to wash it for her. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, feeling her soft hair against my lips. Quietly, I whispered.
"I love you. Happy anniversary."
Gently responded from her was, "I love you too."
That was all I needed to ease my nerves, if not forever then for those few minutes at least. I picked up the mug and made my way toward the kitchen.
Courage would find me by the end of the night.
It was evening, with clouds that began to change color. I texted Mizuki one last time, begging for them to comfort me and they awkwardly did their best. It was comedic, looking back on it. Nene and I stepped off the sidewalk, and onto the path that led to the water.
The sand glistened in the light, softly crunching as we stepped through it. A fine powder that would be hell for us to try and get out of our shoes later. But even like that — there was a sort of beauty to it. I didn't mind, nor did Nene seem to. I laughed at it. She rolled her eyes with a similar smile on her face, but held onto my hand tightly.
Her hands were small compared to mine. It was something I always adored, even as kids I treasured whenever I got to guide her hand to help with a task. In middle school, I would play sticks with her and tease her for her tiny fingers.
Of course I always won at sticks. My sticks were stronger. Nene also just… kind of sucked at playing it; I say that in the most affectionate way possible.
In high school, I longed to hold her hands between mine, often coming up with excuses to brush my hand over hers. Never bumping into her when I sped past, but always making my presence known. Putting on her gloves, rings, and whatever other accessories her costumes had for her. Come to think of it, my 'friendly' gestures might've been a lot more obvious to her than I thought.
Nonetheless, the calm silence that followed was always something I enjoyed. Locked eyes, and pink dusted cheeks.
In front of the ocean, the grassy woman gestured for me to bend down. She gently held onto my arm, lightly gripping the sleeves of my button up. On my lips, she planted a kiss. Warmth filled my chest, seizing any thought I had at the time. Nene smiled, lifting her skirt so it reached her calf and walked slightly into the water. She held onto her hat tightly, attempting to protect it from the gusting winds.
"I'm glad that you're happier."
The sudden statement took me aback. It was rare for Nene to just blurt out something like that, but even she must've been sentimental sometimes.
No, definitely . I'd probably seen it tens of times by then.
"Thank you. I'm glad as well."
A silence filled the air. It felt serene with the waves that quietly crashed, and the wind that now calmed into a breeze. She let go of her hat to squeeze my hand, and I led her back into the sand.
"Nene…"
My heart raced. It thumped, as though I ran without any physical restriction for days on end. It could've burst out of my chest.
I got down on one knee, not minding the powder that attached itself to my pants. I averted my eyes as I fumbled for the box in my pocket. If I looked at her, I might've cried.
"I think I came to this decision a long time ago, but I wanted to ask you before any more years passed."
I finally met her eyes, which blinked back tears. She covered her mouth with both of her hands, with her hands curled into messily raveled fists. Worry filled my gut but I knew I had to continue.
"...I love you. In these last few years I've learned so many things from you, and I want to keep doing so forever." I took a deep breath. If you accept, I promise to stay by your side until the day I die . "Will you marry me?"
"Y-Yes..!"
She stuttered over her response, releasing the tears that welled. I felt awful for making her wait that long, and shakily held her hand as I placed the ring on her finger.
I let myself finally cry. I stood up, pulling her into a tight hug and ran my hand through her hair. It felt soft to the touch. She gripped the back of my shirt, burrowing her head further. We stood like that for what felt like hours, two messes just happy to be in each other's presence.
' I'm so lucky ,' I thought to myself. It was a sentence too embarrassing to say out loud, but I knew she thought the same.
Through the muffling from the fabric, she voiced something. "I love you, Rui."
"I love you too."
On the way back home, my heart still leapt. One day those feelings would mature into something calmer, but for now I wanted to treasure them.