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Asuka and Rei had always been polar opposites. Sun and moon, day and night. While Asuka radiated a ferocity unlike anyone could imagine, Rei had sat back and stayed silent. Rei enjoyed basking in the distant heat of Asuka's blazing personality. Asuka also needed someone levelheaded to keep her from doing anything regrettable. Soon, they had become an unlikely pair. Though they never spoke about their feelings, both of the girls knew that the most important people to them were each other. "Best friends", is what most would call it.
Rei had tried her best to sink into the warmth of the morning sun, to relax into her newest read. She had no interest in the social affairs of her classmates. After all, Asuka hadn't shown up yet. She bounced her left knee in an impatiently rhythmic manner, and she found herself rereading the same lines over again, as if she was too distracted the first time around. She looked up at the clock, at the agape classroom door, then back at her book. Why did Rei find herself yearning for her friend so badly? Asuka certainly wouldn't be missing her as deeply. A strange, restless feeling tugged at Rei's heart. Though, as soon as she walked into the classroom, belting a loud German greeting, Rei remembered why she felt such a harness to Asuka. The beams of sunlight filtering through glass did no good at keeping her warm, but the moment Langley walked in the room, Rei felt an unfurling of comfortable relief inside.
"What is this feeling...?",
"What did you say, wonder-girl?",
Asuka noticed Rei nearly leap from her seat, clearly too deep in her own mysterious thought to notice her approach. She flashed a geniune grin at Rei, and pulled a chair to sit with her at the desk. "So, what'cha reading there? Seems you're very invested," Rei's face softened a bit noticing Asuka's friendliness, and she responded cooly, "Just an English poetry book I found in the library,". Asuka found it charming how Rei stuck to such boring books, though she knew that saying it would simply make her sound rude. "Ahh another one of your nerd books, huh?," Asuka nudged her friend playfully.
Rei was silent, which wasn't unusual. Asuka had learned that reading the expressions on her face was much easier, and so she just kept the silence and stared for a moment. Studying Rei's face, she had noticed a small curl in her lips, indicative of a smile. A small furrow in her eyebrow, a hint of playfulness in her eyes. Her hair framing her face, illuminated by the dawny glow of the sun. The way the varied shades of red in her eyes danced around, as if the folds of her irises themselves could move. The way her slender hands elegantly whisked to fold the ear of a page in her book. The way she bent down to her bag and pulled out a notebook. The way she fixed her posture and looked forward. The way she tucked her hair under her ear, only for it to fall back onto her face. The way she neatly laid out all of her supplies for the day, and...
"Langley! Get back to your seat, the lesson is starting!," Ms. Katsuragi, their homeroom teacher, scorned Asuka, just a moment too soon.
As she observed Asuka reluctantly settling into her seat, Rei couldn't help but think about their previous interaction. Sure, Asuka is the type to hold an intense stare, but there was a clouded expression in her eyes. She had a more hungry look to her, if one could politely put it that way. It was as if she was begging for something. Her gaze had been stronger than usual, like she was facing a poignant question without words. Rei's mind wandered, twisting down every path in order to make sense of the shift. Was Asuka bored of Rei, or beginning to resent her? The possibilities played on her mind for the rest of the day and for the first time in ages, Rei had barely any notes. Before she knew it, the dismissal bell had rung and every student swept out of their chairs and began to gather into their cliques, ready to return home for the day. Asuka lingered, which concerned Rei even further. It was unusual, as Asuka typically met Rei by the shoe cubbies in order to exchange worknotes before taking their respective paths home. She was stood up at her desk, stiff, and frowning indecisively. She had a similar look on her face as the morning, like something was wearing at her. Then, she turned and began making her way towards Rei. There was a thick sense of intimidating tension in the air, as if Rei needed to run away and never come back. Her heart raced, and time seemed to slow down as she anticipated what was to come. Was this feeling fear? If it was fear, then why did it make her so exhilarated?
"Hey. Walk home with me?," Asuka extended her hand to lead Rei out of her seat.
"Don't you walk home with Shinji? You live with him."
"He's going home with Kaworu today. Come on, please?"
Asuka had never begged or said please to anyone, and her expression seemed to hold a rigid honesty. Rei agreed, and decided to walk home with her. Despite being best friends, the offer had never been made. There was never any "hanging out" in their book, as the both of them held too many schedule conflicts and independence complexes to ever have sparked up the fruition of such. Asuka looped her arm around Rei's, and she felt her heart change pace. Her body became hot, and a little itchy. Perhaps she was the one in bad health, not Asuka. They had begun their trek in silence, occasionally looking at the other to avoid pure awkwardness. The sun had started to set, and it was getting cold. Unassumingly, Asuka leaned closer to Rei and tangled their hands together. Rei fixed her fingers in order to fit Asuka's better, and gave her hand a gentle squeeze, as assurance that she didn't mind.
"Hey, Rei?," Asuka sounded hesitant, a strange opposition to her usual attitude. Her voice was quiet, with a slight huskiness to it. Rei could already sense what was going to happen. Asuka was going to admit that she didn't want to be friends with someone like her and leave her alone in the autumn cold. Rei would be alone again, and would irrevocably avoid anybody who was going to come close again. "Yes, Asuka?," She couldn't believe she had the courage to even muster up a response, but here she was. She gulped dryly, awaiting a reply. "Would you want to come to my house? I don't want you to catch a cold. I noticed your notebook was blank today, too. We should study," Asuka never coddled over Rei like this, and it made her sweat, despite the tenderly cold temperature outside. "I wouldn't mind. Thank you for inviting me," Rei wanted to come off as formally humble to the offer, and she couldn't let her true excitement show. For now, her sweaty palm exists an enigma.
Asuka's hand gripped harder onto Rei's, almost involuntarily. Asuka turned her head away slightly, to hide her reddened cheeks. Of course, she could have blamed it on the cold if Rei had noticed. But to Asuka, blushing seemed so foreign that she was basically turning her head away from the concept of it. They stayed within silence for a few more minutes, simply listening to the sounds of people and the whooshing of the afternoon breeze. They soon approached the turn onto Asuka's street. "Elevator or stairs?," Asuka asked. Rei seemed taken aback, as if she was so lost in thought that she wasn't even aware that Asuka was still there. She used her free hand to signal toward the elevator, and Asuka gave her a curt nod of acknowledgement. They let their hands unravel as they approached the elevator, and it felt like a chilled sting as the fall air hit their bare palms. When they arrived to the apartment, Asuka almost felt apprehensive to open the door, as if Rei would begin judging her or something. It was a stupid thought, as Rei was probably the least judgemental girl to exist. Fighting off her nerves, she took the doorknob in her hand and entered.
"Thank you for inviting me," Rei said as she slid off her shoes. Asuka nearly forgot to take off her own shoes, let alone shut the door behind them. Her mind was racing with anxiety, as she quickly went over her own mental checklist on how to care for a guest, let alone Rei. She attentively scared at Rei as she studied her home, Asuka following her gaze wherever it landed. "Sit anywhere, I'll prepare tea. Black or Earl Grey?," Asuka tried to remain composed as her thoughts continued to race. Did she leave something out? Did Shinji make a mess? Was Rei too tasteful for this shabby place? "Earl Grey, please,". Asuka snapped back into reality following the reply. She turned on the stove and left a pot of water to simmer, making sure to have two of the home's most ornate tea cups beside it. She made her way back, looking around her apartment to be sure it was in the same state she left it in this morning. She sighed, and sat next to Rei, who was perched ever-so politely on the couch as she waited for Asuka's return. Rei was looking down and fidgeting with her hands, and seemed to perk up once she felt Asuka's weight next to her. Her mouth opened and made a few slight movements, as her mind formulated what to say.
"Asuka?"
"Yes?"
"Am I the moon?"
Despite all of her scrambled excuses of introspection, Rei wasn't even aware of the words that came out of her mouth. She knew now though, that it was too late. She had made a grave mistake. Asuka's face appeared confused, as if she was sifting through her mind for an appropriate way to say, "You sound like a freak".
"What are you talking about?"
Rei swiftly attempted to defend herself, muttering a quaint, "I read a specific metaphor in one of my novels. Some people are like the moon and others are the sun... The moon is only bright because it reflects the sun's rays. Am I the moon? Do you see me as a person or rather somebody you keep along to compliment your personality?"
Asuka was silent. Very silent. Rei knew that this was the end, she couldn't even admire Asuka as a friend anymore. What kind of person asks such a question? Her soul felt as if it was caving in on itself as she cringed at the sound of her own voice. Asuka reached her hand out to rest upon Rei's, and she brought her response.
"Listen to me, Rei. I keep you around because I like you, more than anything or anyone. Why else would I stare? Why else would I invite you to come over? Why else would I share my notes? Why would I smile at you every day?"
Asuka was blown away by this question. Does Rei really think that low of herself? Was this her fault, was she not attentive enough? Maybe avoiding her feelings towards Rei was causing more harm than good. Maybe, her air of false bravado in order to keep her true feelings away was stupid... Asuka felt so stupid! Rei was silent. She seemed upset, as if she didn't want to hear that response. Her eyes were fixed on her own lap, and her hand was trembling a little beneath Asuka's own. Suddenly, they heard a shrill whistle from the kitchen. Both of them jumped up in shock, stripped from the tense moment within a split second. Asuka deftly made her way to the neglected tea kettle. She finished brewing the tea, and brought it cautiously back to where Rei sat. Rei was staring at her quizzically, like she was contemplating something very important.Was this the end? Did Asuka really mess things up on their first ever official hang-out? She stood for a moment, and then another moment, seemingly too paralyzed by the gravity of this situation to simply set the tea tray upon the coffee table.
"Asuka, do you like girls?"
She nearly dropped the tray or scalding tea she was holding and choked on her own reply. Did Rei hear some sort of rumor going around, or something from Shinji? Would Rei feel creeped out if she knew the truth? Asuka decided to play it cool, as a weak attempt to hide her utter shock toward the question.
"I do... I think. Why, do you not want to be friends with someone like me?"
Asuka knew what the reply was. After all, Rei has never shown any signs of loving her, let alone accepting a friendship with someone who might love her. Rei barely even treated her like a best friend. Or perhaps, that was her way of showing love. Asuka tried to reassure herself into stability, dreading what may come next.
"I was asking because, well... I do too. I would never stop being friends with you," Rei paused for a brief moment. The room was so silent, you could hear the gentle whirr of the refrigerator in the next room. ", Unless.."
"Unless what?" Asuka's voice died out near the end of her question. Her throat felt tight, and she took a careful sip of her tea. It was still slightly too hot for her taste, but she was doing just about anything to wear off her nervousness.
"Unless we became something more than that."
Asuka coughed up the tea she had taken a sip of, leaving her outfit stained. Well, that's a good ¥45,000 down the drain. It didn't matter now, she had to formulate a reply, quickly.
"What do you mean, Rei?"
Then, as quickly as a clock could tick to the next second, she felt something warm closing in upon her face. Rei had kissed Asuka, as if she had been waiting eons to do it. She felt tense against Asuka, but as soon as Asuka leaned into the kiss and deepened it, Rei softened as well. Just as they both began to melt into the other, Rei pulled herself back. As fast as the kiss had happened, the kiss had ended.
"I'm sorry," Rei had a very guarded expression on her face, as if she was bracing herself for a smack and harsh words. She averted her gaze, and kept her hands tightly clasped together in her lap.
Asuka kissed her again. This time, there were no restraints. No unspoken words, no misunderstandings. She held Rei's face gently, and kept her hand rested there even after she pulled away to speak.
"Your tea will get cold, wonder-girl."