Work Text:
Christmas morning was something completely different this year. The kids all tried to hide how down there were over the first Christmas without their mother. Eli woke up just a little more upset than he usually did. Sulked around the apartment all morning as Elliot made them breakfast. Since they had had their family Christmas get together the week prior they had decided that Christmas day wouldn’t be a big deal. The grandkids got all their presents from Grandpa last week. They had a group call all talking over each other as if they were in the same room together on Christmas morning.
Elliot had decided to get a little work done while he could, but his mind kept drifting back to their family Christmas get together. Seeing Olivia and Noah walk into his apartment. All three of them were so nervous as the door opened. But the pure happiness he had rush through his body as he saw her there. How they stood out in his garden and he held her as close to him as he possibly could. How Dickie shouted at him to ‘just kiss her.’ Elliot smiled at the memory of their lips meeting for the first time.
He picked up his phone to look through the memories of that night when it started to vibrate with a phone call.
‘Liv’ came up on the phone with a photo he had snuck the night of the gathering. His smile grew as he answered it.
“Hey, you,” he said. They hadn’t really spoken since they had kissed. Both incredibly busy with work. Though texts were being exchanged. Mostly about how much Noah loved hanging out with Elliot’s grandsons.
“Hey,” she said. Elliot immediately noticed that something was off. She sounded defeated. As if something had happened and she wasn’t processing it. Like she needed someone. One word. That’s all Elliot needed to know that Olivia was not okay.
“Liv, where are you,” he said, already standing up and putting his shoes on to go meet her. To make sure that she was okay. To hold her in his arms. He just wanted her to feel safe.
“El, I’m fine,” she said unconvincingly.
“Liv, where are you,” he said, this time more sternly. His coat on and keys in his hands.
“The precinct,” she relented. “El, don’t come. I’m really okay. I just…I needed to hear your voice,” she told him.
Eli came out of his room to his dad halfway out the door.
“Work,” the teen asked.
“I gotta go check on someone,” Elliot told him. “I’ll be back for dinner. I promise,” Elliot said as he quickly hugged his son and left the apartment.
Olivia continued to ask him not to come to the precinct, to which Elliot ignored as he drove as quickly as he could to her. He knew that she needed someone. And clearly no one within her unit was going to be that person. Or she wasn’t going to let them.
Elliot walked into SVU and received a nod from Fin directing him to Olivia’s office. Amanda gave him a look as Elliot didn’t acknowledge anyone else in the squad room.
He knocked lightly on Olivia’s office door before letting himself in.
“El,” she sighed. “It’s Christmas. You should be with Eli and your mom.”
“No,” Elliot said and sat down at her desk. “We had a big Christmas morning conference call. I spoke with all of my kids. The boys. Eli knows where I am. I am right where I need to be.”
He gave her that ‘Elliot Stabler’ smirk and she couldn’t hide a small smile. She knew that he was not going to leave that chair until she left to go home that night. Until he knew that she was going to pick up her son and spend time with him.
“You gonna tell me what had you so freaked,” he finally asked after about ten minutes of silence between them.
She finally met his gaze. She knew he was going to ask her why she had called him on Christmas and then didn’t want to see him. Especially after they had kissed the week before. She wanted to see him again. Wanted to be held in his arms again. Feel his strength engulf her.
“I can’t really tell you,” she spat out. “It has to do with a case we worked with hate crimes. It all went south very fast,” she told him. Her mind flashing back to a few hours prior. Shooting a man in the middle of Washington Square Park where just moments prior a singer serenaded the park. “It just ended badly and I’ve got a mountain of paperwork.”
He knew what that meant. He’d been behind that mountain of paperwork many times before. Every time he had fired his weapon. Every time someone had died by his weapon. He knew what she had done. He looked behind him and stood to close the blinds. He also knew that no one at SVU knew that they may be starting something. He didn’t want her team seeing what he was about to do.
Elliot walked back over to her desk and spun her chair around so she was facing him. She didn’t resist when he pulled her up and into his embrace. She needed that feeling. She needed to feel his arms wrapped tightly around her, pulling her into him. She gripped the back of his jacket and pulled herself closer to him. Buried her face into his chest and let a tear fall.
It was all too much. She was completely wrecked. She had been through so much and this was just one more thing that was going to give her nightmares. She’d wake up in the middle of the night in sweats and suppressing screams so Noah didn’t hear her. She’d fall to the floor of the shower in sobs as flashbacks flooded her memories. Stop breathing when a loud noise rang in her ears on the street.
But right here, in the arms of Elliot Stabler, she was safe. She focused on him. On his hands sprayed out on her back. On how anyone else this strong would be crushing her holding her this tight, but he was gentle. She focused on his breathing, matching the rhythm. She could feel his heart beating, calming hers. Feel his chin resting on the top of her head. His hands started stroking her back, calming her instantly. Safety. That’s what Elliot was. He was safety.
“Thank you,” she whispered into his chest.
“For?”
“Completely ignoring me when I told you not to come here.” He felt her smile against his chest.
“Oh, that,” he chuckled. “No problem. Anytime, Benson.” She held onto him a little tighter. “You almost done?”
“I think I’ve got a couple more hours,” she said as she pulled away from him. “I feel horrible not being with Noah today. Lucy is out of town with her family. So he’s with Rollins’s kids.”
Elliot got that little grin on his face again.
“What?”
“Let me go pick him up,” Elliot suggested.
“Elloit, I couldn’t ask you…”
“You’re not,” he interrupted. “I’m asking you to let me go get him. I can bring him back to my place or if he’s got a key to yours.”
“Santa hasn’t come yet at our house,” she sighed, remembering that she hadn’t gotten the chance to put out the rest of Noah’s Christmas presents yet.
“Okay, I can take him back to Queens. We’ll grab some pizza. Him and Eli can play video games. Mom will feed him a bunch of sugar.”
Olivia thought about it for a moment. Noah hadn’t spent much time with Elliot. It was that one night at his house and Noah had spent most of his time with Keiran and Seamus.
“I don’t know, El,” she sighed. “He doesn’t really know you.”
“I want to know him, Liv,” he told her. “Olivia, we haven’t discussed that little moment that we had at my house, but I want to be a part of your life. That includes Noah.”
She continued to think about it. She wanted whatever was happening between her and Elliot to be the end of it all. She didn’t want to search anymore. She wanted him. And she wanted him to know her son. Without looking away from Elliot she picked up her phone and called her son.
“Hey, mom,” Noah shouted as he answered her FaceTime call. “Are you coming to get me yet?”
“I’m sorry, honey, I’ve still got some work to do,” Olivia said. She sounded so defeated. “But if you’d like, I have someone who would like to spend Christmas with you. Get to know you a little bit.”
“Elliot?” The boy couldn’t contain his excitement. Olivia smiled. So did Elliot. “Please,” Noah pleaded.
Elliot took Olivia’s phone and smiled at him. “Elliot,” Noah shouted again. “Are we gonna hang out?”
“If you want,” Elliot told him.
“Pleeassseee, mom.”
“Yeah, please mom,” Elliot mocked the boy’s tone.
Olivia couldn’t stop the laugh from coming out of her mouth. Elliot’s left hand still firmly placed on her waist.
“Okay,” Olivia finally said. Both boys cheered. She took her phone back from Elliot. “Be ready in thirty minutes okay. Elliot is going to pick you up and take you to his apartment to hang out with Eli.”
“Yes,” Noah said. “I can’t wait.”
“Me either, kid,” Elliot said loud enough so Noah could hear him. “Go get ready.”
“Bye, mom. Love you. See you after work,” Noah said before he kissed the camera of the phone. Elliot smiled as he watched Olivia as did the same. He loved watching her be a mom.
Olivia hung up the FaceTime call. “Thank you,” she said softly.
Elliot moved to kiss her, but stopped before their lips met. “May I?”
“Please,” she told him.
His lips brushed gently against hers. Nothing like their last. It wasn’t as passionate and needy. It was comforting and soft.
Olivia pulled away from him. “I’ll let you know when I’m gonna get out of here. We need to talk about this.”
“Whatever this is,” he joked.
“Yes,” she smiled at him. “Now go. I have to get back to work or I’m never going to see my son on Christmas. I’ll text you the address. On your way out just tell Rollins you’re going to pick him up.”
“She doesn’t like me,” Elliot said as he let go of her and let her sit down.
“I know,” Olivia chuckled. “If she questions you, just tell her to come ask me to confirm.”
Elliot sighed and moved to leave her office.
“Elliot,” Olivia called and quickly walked over to him. “Thank you.”
“You said that already,” he laughed.
“No, you grounded me,” she told him. “Maybe one I’ll tell you, but right now I’m not ready. But know, that you coming here, that helped. It helped a lot more than I thought it would. So thank you.”
“Always,” he told her. “I’m not leaving again. You’ve got me, Benson.”
She fell into him again. Let his arms engulf her. She leaned up and kissed him again.
“I’m gonna go pick up Noah now,” Elliot said slowly opening the door of her office. Making her jump backwards so her staff didn’t see them. She wasn’t ready to tell them yet. Though Fin already knew. He knew when Olivia wouldn’t stop smiling at her phone and texting.
Elliot threw her a wink before exiting her office. “Hey, Rollins,” Elliot hollered across the squadroom. “Your captain has okayed me going to pick up Noah from your place.” Elliot stopped walking and waited for a snarky remark from the detective, but nothing came.
“Okay, I’ll let my mom know,” Amanda said and went back to work.
Elliot and Fin shared a look before he headed back out of the precinct and headed for Amanda’s apartment to pick up Noah.
He got to the door and knocked. He could hear Noah shouting that he was there to take him away. Noah opened the door and hugged Elliot. “Elliot!”
“Noah!” Elliot hugged him back.
“Let’s go,” Noah said, grabbing his bag and trying to get out the door quickly.
“Whoa, hold it, little man,” Elliot said as he stopped the boy. “I have got to tell these people that I’m here and picking you up.” Elliot walked into the apartment followed by a sulking Noah. “Hi, I’m Elliot Stabler. Noah’s mom had me come pick him up,” Elliot said to Amanda’s mother.
“Amanda called and told me,” she said. “It was nice hanging out with you, Noah.”
“You too,” Noah said, barely audible.
“Merry Christmas,” Elliot said and took Noah’s shoulder to leave the apartment.
Elliot brought the boy to his car and the two of them took off towards Long Island City. The entire ride over Noah didn’t stop talking. He told Elliot everything. Everything about his dancing. Even invited the man to his dance recital at the end of the season. Told Elliot everything that he wanted for Christmas. About how much fun he had had playing with Keiran and Seamus. Elliot sat and listened to it all. He wanted to hear all about it. He wanted to know everything about Olivia’s son.
Elliot pulled up to his building and they rushed inside so they weren’t in the cold.
Eli had taken to Noah quickly the week prior and Elliot was hoping that Noah being there would help Eli smile a little more that day. He was right. As soon as Eli heard the younger boy walk into the apartment he came out of his bedroom with his Nintendo Switch and offered to play Mario Kart with Noah.
Noah took his coat and hung it up before sitting down in front of the TV waiting for Eli to get it set up. For hours the boys exchanged trash talk and kept pushing the controller out of each other’s hands trying to get the other to lose. Eli gave Noah tips on how to advance in the game. Elliot just watched. He wanted this every single day.
They ordered a pizza and continued to joke with each other as the two boys raced for the final piece of the pie. Around seven o’clock Elliot’s phone lit up with Olivia’s name. He answered as he walked away from the table laughing.
“Sounds like you boys are having fun,” she laughed.
“They are getting along incredibly well,” Elliot told her. “It’s been a good Christmas.”
“Yeah,” Elliot heard her voice drop.
“So you almost off?”
“I’m headed back to my apartment,” she told him. “I need to wrap a couple of final gifts, but you should be able to head back now or I can come get him.”
“No, I’ll bring him back into the city,” Elliot assured her. “I’ll pack up his bag and I’ve loaded him full of candy and soda.”
“Not funny, El,” she chucked.
“I heard you laugh,” he said. He didn’t know what had happened earlier, but he needed to make sure that she laughed. “It’ll take a while to get back to the East Side. We’ll head out in like ten or fifteen minutes.”
“Sounds good,” she said. “Did you guys actually eat real food or should I order something?”
“We had some pizza about an hour ago,” Elliot told her.
“I’ll order something and if he’s hungry he’ll eat.”
“Okay, get off the phone while you’re driving. The last time we were in this position one of us ended up in an ambulance,” he said and immediately regretted making the joke. He still had to prove that Wheatley had forced Olivia off the road. “See you soon.”
“See you soon.” And the call ended.
“Was that my mom,” Noah asked.
“Yup and she is on her way home,” Elliot told him. “So you need to get your stuff together because we are headed back to your place.”
“It was nice hanging out today, Noah,” Eli said to the boy.
“You too,” Noah said. “Next time I’m gonna beat you.”
“Not a chance, kid,” Eli said before he tussled the boys curls. Noah jumped off the chair and went to pick up his stuff. “Dad, can I come? It’s Christmas and I want to be with you.”
“Of course,” Elliot told his youngest. “I’ll just send Liv a text. She’s ordering dinner.”
The boys all left the apartment and headed back for Manhattan.
Olivia got home and rushed to start wrapping the remaining gifts for Noah. She got Elliot’s text about Eli and was thankful that she had gotten the Stabler kids gifts and was looking to find a time to give them to the kids. So Eli had a couple things under the tree. Now she realized why Elliot had insisted on buying something for Noah.
Just as Olivia had finished stuffing the stockings Noah came bursting in the door with Elliot and Eli close behind.
Noah made a beeline for the Christmas tree. “Hey,” Olivia said, making her son rush over to her and hug her. “I am so sorry I was working all day.”
“It’s okay. I had fun with Jesse and Billie, but I’m glad that Eli was at Elliot’s. We played Mario Kart all day. Next time I’m gonna win.”
“I’m not letting you win, Noah,” Eli said as Elliot hung up both of their coats.
“We had pizza and Mrs. Stabler made cookies,” Noah said and ran back to his bag pulling out a bag of cookies. “She wanted me to give these to you and say Merry Christmas.”
“Wow,” Olivia said as she laughed at her son’s enthusiasm. “Well, I’m glad you had fun with Eli and Elliot.”
“Can I go there from now on when you work,” Noah asked her.
“We can talk about it,” Elliot said, not wanting to make Olivia answer the question. “First, you have so many gifts under that tree and it looks like mom ordered dinner.”
Noah went back to the tree. Elliot encouraged Olivia to sit down and enjoy her time with Noah while he went to the kitchen to make up plates for their dinner.
“Eli, this one has your name,” Noah said and handed it to him.
Eli was confused.
“Everyone should have something to unwrap on Christmas,” Olivia told him.
“Thanks, Olivia,” Eli said and unwrapped it quickly because he noticed that Noah was impatiently waiting to know what he had gotten.
Elliot watched from the kitchen. This was the best Christmas he could have wished for after Kathy’s death. He knew his kids were going through it that year and Olivia made them all feel so loved. They had welcomed Noah into the fold without question. It was perfect.
After the apartment was covered in wrapping paper and the food was gone the boys started playing games again as Noah could barely keep his eyes open. While Elliot and Olivia washed dishes.
“So you want to talk now,” Elliot asked.
“You mean after our sons have bonded so much in seven hours,” Olivia chuckled. She turned to him and put the plate she was holding back in the sink. “El, I know you said you’re here. I need you to understand that I’m scared. I’m scared of losing you again. That’s why I’ve been hesitant to let you get to know Noah. I’ve had people in and out of his life. Nothing’s been constant. I’m not even constant. It seems like the world just doesn’t want me to be around my son. I can’t let you come here in all smiles and cookies just for you to leave him. Leave me.”
Elliot put the towel he was holding down on the counter before he took her waist. “Olivia, I will do whatever you need me to do. I will spend the rest of my life trying to convince you that I’m here. You’ve got me. If you want me.”
He saw a tear roll down her cheek and reached to wipe it away. “I’m just scared.”
“I know,” he told her. “I know you are. And I am so sorry for leaving you ten years ago. I am sorry for not calling you. I know my words may not mean much right now, but I give you my word that I am here. For you. For Noah. This is it.”
“So this is something,” she asked him.
“I want it to be,” he told her. “Do you?”
“I do,” she barely got out of her mouth. “I do, El.”
He silently asked if he could kiss her again. She just nodded as he took her face in his hands and made their lips meet.
Eli and Noah both made ‘ooo-ing’ noises from across the room.
Elliot pulled away and threw a towel at them before going back to kiss Olivia again.
“So my friend, Olivia,” he said. She knew that line was going to become a thing for them. “Are we gonna do this? The whole thing? Dinners? Flowers? Picking up each other’s kids?”
“I think so,” she told him.
“So I can now say, so, my girlfriend, Olivia?”
She just smiled at him and kissed him again. Earning more ‘ooo’s from their sons. But they didn’t care. They were there. They were together. She was grounded. Partners for life.