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Through half closed eyelids, she watched the snow adorn a place that felt like it reached for being alive - that it became alive as it devoured her.
What a fascinating sight. Even in this harsh, harsh cold that seemed to grip her skin with its freezing claws and not let go, trees stood tall and the sun watched from above, like a faraway trinket reflecting useless golden light. As she walked aimlessly, not knowing another way to express her restlessness over what might very well be her end, she lost herself to the overwhelming beauty of dawn in Dragonspine. This adoring dread that ran out by the minute was the sole source of heat keeping her standing.
And yearning, and regretting, and crying a thousandfold: this alluring landscape would not overshadow her despair, nor her guilt. Even though she had been warned. Even though she promised Miss Albedo. This, all of this, was her fault. Albedo...
"...r… ose… Hang in there, Sucrose…"
Fumbling in whatever sensations her numb body could discern, first she felt the scent of cecilias, as if a distant spring had carried it to where she laid.
Second, she sensed herself being held gently between someone’s soft arms.
Ah, it was almost nostalgic.
A spoon clinking, fire softly crackling, and… someone’s purring nearby: the camping site held all these sounds closely together. It must be because of all she’d been through lately that this felt quite soothing.
Albedo let her hair loose, then turned to find a pair of amber-colored eyes slowly opening. She walked towards the mattress where Sucrose slept and knelt to see her face clearly. Fixing the sheets to make sure they were covering her back completely made her apprentice shiver a little - could she have a fever? The blonde’s lips approached her forehead and checked her temperature to find that she was still a bit cold, but still much better than when she first found her.
Afterwards, and while making sure she wouldn’t startle the one laying in front of her, she whispered: "Are you feeling any better?"
"I… I’m so sorry…" her apprentice answered, already sounding like she was about to cry again.
"It’s okay, I’m not angry. Here, I made you something to drink. It’s best if we have something first. After that… Could you tell me what happened?", she said in a soothingly low voice (even though I’m still trying to recover from the fright could have followed that sentence) before reaching a cup of floral-scented tea to her.
Sucrose’s ears drooped. Her gaze could not bear to look at the woman in front of her in the eye much longer, but she was still able to mumble “thank you” as she grabbed the mug that was handed to her. The green-haired alchemist sighed and sat up slowly, her head still too heavy and exhausted. Still, once she breathed in the cool breeze, the cushions holding her and the tea her teacher prepared for her, the glacial grip on her body slowly started to let go, disappearing bit by bit into a bygone nightmare (albeit one that had bothered someone who was real – much to her distress).
She took a sip and waited patiently until her body remembered the feeling of heat again. How curious it was to forget heat, but not warmth – was it because she hadn’t been apart from that feeling for too long? Her face reddened as she rehashed the events prior to waking up in the campsite… among those was the memory of being embraced by her teacher moments ago. Getting her flustered self to calm down took her a little while.
Suddenly, she opened her eyes wide and reached for her pockets. "Oh! Now that I remember," Sucrose took a little pouch from it and extended a hand that held a few bright, orange-colored candies. "Please take this, as thanks for your troubles. I made these yesterday during a very successful experiment that managed to fully utilize a single modified sunsettia’s sugar. I must say, I’m quite happy with their flavor! And… I know you enjoy sweet things, so I was waiting for the opportunity to share them with you."
Round, kind eyes watched Albedo from the makeshift bed with a smile. The pink hue in her cheeks now matched her assistant’s.
"Thank you very much, Sucrose. I’m sure they turned out very well."
As her mentor took the candy to her mouth, Sucrose took a deep breath. Now that she was for the most part safe, and surely more composed than before, she began arranging the events in her head in a way that could be understood.
"Um… I think this all started when I bumped into Cyrus" she explained. "He thought of another way to attract new adventurers through advertising the possibility to explore and investigate the properties of unknown places, such as Dragonspine, which he needed an alchemist’s help for. To tell the truth, I told him no the first couple times, but he insisted, and since he’s always so kind to me, I ended up accepting… It’s just that it was so sudden, I could not prepare for this cold weather accordingly. N-Not that any of this was his fault! Not at all! It’s just that-"
"He is a persistent man," Albedo replied bluntly.
"At times," that remark made her chuckle. "A-Anyway, I did end up enjoying myself. At first, I thought Timaeus would do a much better job teaching than me, so I wasn’t sure why I was there at all, but I found that I was comfortable teaching about things I’m familiar with. Besides, it was a nice change of pace."
"Then, how did you end up all alone in the snow? Don’t tell me something caught your attention again."
The eyes cast downward in embarrassment before her made the Chief Alchemist feel a tinge of guilt. Perhaps her tone might’ve been too severe, but she couldn’t take this matter lightly- she only wished the thought of hurting her didn’t crush her heart this way, when she had found no other way to make her understand.
However, instead of retracting in shame even further, this prompted Sucrose to share her introspections. After all, despite her fear of angering her, if there was anyone on Teyvat who would understand her passions, that would be Albedo.
"I’m aware of how different our research is, Miss Albedo, but still… don’t you find crystalflies enticing as well?" her soft voice pondered without hindrance for the words she spoke. "Of course, for condensed elemental energy to take the form of a butterfly is a wonder itself. Yet what I find most enrapturing is how they are born to seek the energy source that birthed them, as if they were tied to their life source. Few other natural examples of how pure energy behaves exist. Crystalflies exist as an amalgam of the behaviors of both life and the elements – no, they seem to be bridges communicating both existences. Whenever I have the chance to observe one from up close, even for a moment, my curiosity gets the better of me. Each time I follow them waiting to find something wonderful, some answer for a question I haven’t asked myself yet. But… I know I have gone too far this time, that I shouldn’t have gone off on my own. I-I truly didn’t wish to cause you trouble, teacher! My job is to help you, not to disturb you, and still… I am truly so, so sorry."
Endearing brilliance shone in every word she spoke like her voice was a wish come true. Listening to her sparked a foreign certainty in her mentor: somewhere, somehow, someone wished for something -Albedo thought- and it had rippled towards her cold hands, where it came alive - how else would she be able to explain to herself this feeling? How could she possibly demonstrate that often she had witnessed air carrying a miracle entering the arch in Sucrose’s lips, which after appeared as words tethered to a long-lost Heaven that wanted to be remembered once more?
Was there even a word for what she felt? If there was, then in that very moment she must have forgotten all language completely.
But, just as she was when Albedo found her, she was still sitting there at the mercy of her surroundings: the relentless sheer cold, and… other someone’s resentful eyes.
So, half into a daze, half taking in a gut-wrenching fear she couldn’t recognize, her outwardly calm exterior gathered the words to speak next.
"…Sucrose," she asseverated. "I will set up an optimal environment for crystalflies in the Favonius lab. I will see myself that it is as close to natural conditions as possible, so that you can observe as much as you please – this is a promise I will not betray. I have no doubts about your talent, nor your dedication towards alchemy, therefore I will do as much as I can to ensure you can research to your heart’s desire." Softening her tone, she cupped her assistant’s cheek and said: "You’re not a burden, that’s not at all what concerns me. I only ask of you to not neglect yourself. No amount of beauty is worth dying over - or rather, life’s artistry needs you as witness to be named as such."
Her apprentice could only watch wide-eyed as she nodded. Swayed and astonished in equal amounts, she noticed this was the very first time that she’d seen such an intense gaze in Miss Albedo’s eyes. Yet, even while being so close to each other, she could not discern the feeling that hid in them – for someone like her, this was fairly maddening.
Something as incandescent as anger, though not quite as piercing. As deep as interest, though not quite as fleeting… No record of that expression existed in her memory.
Still, Sucrose felt like it sang along the flame that pleasantly brought back warmth to her body.
"It will be dark soon…"
The Chief Alchemist averted her gaze to meet an afterglow sky that had been painted the color of a windwheel aster. It lovingly hurried all the creatures below to run to their safe hideouts and sleep. Quite a shame that such an endearing sight could not be painted today, she pondered, but there was a faint feeling in her heart that this image would not fade from her mind anytime soon regardless.
"It’s best if we rest here for the night. It’s not quite safe to walk through Dragonspine at this hour, much less in your current state. You shouldn’t worry – there’s plenty of food for tonight. We’ll be fine here while you rest."
An instant of silence before replying was due to her surprise, but upon reflection, it was a sensible solution. She politely agreed and considered… she truly was fond of that idea - every chance to spend a moment with Albedo was precious to her. Fairly used to her presence, even such an unexpected situation could become pleasant.
However, Sucrose hummed softly at an observation and began searching the room with her eyes. When she ascertained that the only mattress available was the one meant for her, she bashfully lowered her head and did her best to voice her thoughts before her head began overthinking.
"If that’s the case, I-I truly don’t want you to spend the night while being uncomfortable, Miss Albedo - it simply wouldn’t be fair. So, would it be fine if we… sleep side by side, just for tonight?" Despite her precautions, the bio-alchemist felt her head spinning at what had just come out of her mouth.
Albedo instead peered at her own sketchbook lying in the background for a moment. She knew that, in a matter of seconds, her hands could draw another bed like it was nothing. Yet… would she be able to sleep without knowing throughout the night that she was warm, that her other self hadn’t snatched her away, that no avalanche had reached her, that she’d be surely there to greet her good morning -with all unnecessary formality, despite their circumstances,- that she’d be protected? Was she betraying her trust by even considering this? …Was Sucrose safe around her?
Though holding all known fears close, the Chief Alchemist simply failed to think this dilemma through before words were uttered from some unknown place in her core.
"Yes... That would be fine by me. Thank you, Sucrose."
"Then, please rest here while I prepare dinner. I’m already feeling much better! I promise I won’t disappoint you." She changed her determined expression to soften her eyes and mouth into a confident grin. "Besides, it’s a good opportunity to show you my most successful safe-for-consumption test subjects- ahem, I mean, my most nutritious and flavorful meals so far."
Albedo snickered at her at times strange, yet lovable way of expressing her enthusiasm. Though, as her assistant noted during the time they’d known each other, the Chief Alchemist’s tense guise wasn’t so easily seen until her face melted into a smile. It’s how she came to know few of her secrets.
"Very well. I trust your abilities."
Sucrose hurriedly stood up, her face beaming, and began her search for ingredients around the campsite. Her mentor snuggled on the mattress and watched her work with amusement. The resemblance between her attitude towards alchemy and cooking could be easily spotted: enthusiastic, dedicated, simultaneously serious and playful. The latter elicited a distinct tingly sensation in her chest – the best explanation she came up with was that she wasn’t often the one on the receiving end. Being Klee’s elder sister, acquiring the role of 'master,' or even looking after Sucrose… none of these were things she resented at all – on the contrary, she treasured them deeply. But whenever Sucrose would gently scold her, admire her paintings, share her candies in case she’d feel tired, do her best to discern her feelings (even when she admitted that humans were so difficult to understand, she’d mostly rather avoid them)… Ah, looking back, the bio-alchemist’s caring nature was spread throughout her behavior. No seed would be unable to blossom under those hands - Albedo knew this firsthand.
Soon enough, the meal was ready. Albedo was served a steamy plate of goulash that turned out delicious, even though the meat she had reserved was so scarce. Sucrose proudly explained her method to elaborate a meat substitute using only flour and a few condiments. Though she still hadn’t investigated which wheat properties allowed this to be possible, her delight over having something to investigate when they came back to Mondstadt tomorrow morning was written across her face.
The urge to reach for her sketchbook to draw her dear assistant’s bright eyes was strong enough, but she feared her shyness would overtake the excitement with which she spoke and cause her to retract - that would be a shame, for sure. Therefore, she chose to listen attentively. In these circumstances, it’s only natural to want to observe the way her eyelashes fluttered and carefully contemplate how her irises caught every light in the room as they opened. Her lips lightly glossed, and long streaks of hair resting on her shoulders as her worn-out tie undid her usual hairstyle… In the same spirit the earlier citrine sky whispered to its animals 'you’ve done enough, sleep now,' the prince’s drowsy eyes were resting on Sucrose’s familiar silhouette.
"Wonderful inquiries, as usual. I’m looking forward to the results of your investigation. But now…" she lowered her voice. "Please, come rest until tomorrow. The trek to Mondstadt is not an easy one, and it requires you to be well-rested."
Sucrose meekly leaned into arms that welcomed her to nestle her head in the nook of the blonde’s neck like this was a long-awaited reunion. Albedo placed her hands near the pair of animal ears flickering happily, gestured 'may I?' and they lowered in response, pleading her to caress them. She obliged, delighted by how much her assistant trusted her to touch such a sensitive spot, the very feature that othered her from humans... Though she could never tell her about her artificial origins, ever so afraid to endanger the bio-alchemist, she was simply glad Sucrose’s body intuitively knew where to settle and be silently understood.
For a while, they stayed this way in complete silence – save for the crinkling sound of a fire that colored their faces a reddish tone which, whenever they glanced at the coal-black night sky, felt like a cocoon secluding them. Then they slipped together into the bed, melting into it, tiptoeing into the covers like the day had fallen asleep and they wished for it not to wake up (at least, not until their bodies had finished remembering each other from all past encounters in dreams and fantasies). A flustered Sucrose was to be found still trying to grasp that her right hand was undoubtedly resting in the center of her dear mentor’s chest, left toes lightly grazing the prince’s legs, her waist embraced firmly with little space left between both of them… how could this not be another one of her daydreams was a mystery to her (and, as it was the case with any mystery of life, she felt drawn to it as well). Yes, among the things they both sought to remember in their embrace was the feeling of being loved closely and without letting go.
Nonetheless, an aching in her heart surfaced, a deep yearning that hadn’t dared to appear until now: the hope to hear Albedo’s voice again. See, so many impossible questions were answered ever since she came into her life, and although she worried about having become too greedy in all this time… for once, she craved to hear her talk about herself. Anything would be fine. Maybe, now that the world outside had silently closed its curtains, she’d speak about herself freely and from the heart.
"Miss Albedo, truthfully, I… I would like to know. Why do you not seem to mind the cold from Dragonspine?"
This took the Chief Alchemist by surprise. She almost laughed at how she only now realized how obvious that question must’ve been, how long she held it in her mind. The ever-curious Sucrose sensed she hid many secrets, yet she limited herself to ask solely about the ones that were easy for her to answer: namely, alchemy. She didn’t regret this – after all, she’d never burden her with all the unknown dangers and uncertainty surrounding her past and origin. Still… what was this hint of guilt knotting her stomach once again? Furthermore, of wanting to stop turning her back to the person most loyal to her, of longing to hold the hand that had tried to reach her?
Deep in thought, Albedo lowered her gaze and began thinking of her master. There was Gold: the selfish, crudely ambitious harbinger of a nation’s destruction whose secret Magnum Opus was an artificial human. Amidst the tragedy lied a forgotten tale entrusted only to the prince: this was the memory of her master... her mother.
The story of Gold was vaguely kept away from Sucrose, and not the rest of the world. This was for the best.
However - the hidden story of her mother in all its detail, which the world could never know, might be able to find a place in Sucrose.
Thus, she looked at her assistant’s expecting eyes, and sorted the words to tell.
"My earliest memories are piled up with snow. From a very young age, I got to witness what lied in nature’s deepest corners and history’s most esoteric archives. Someone dear to me made this possible – that person is my mother. As a gifted alchemist she became my teacher, my guide, during my childhood. Given that my skills were sufficient even at a young age, surely she got something in return, but she… she stayed with me throughout it all, despite everything. She entrusted to me the subject she dedicated her life and beyond to, she showed me the world as I know it." She paused, cleared her throat, and continued. "A part of me believes to this day it wasn’t pure egoism and arrogance since I’m her child - in other words, a part of her creation. The simple answer to your question is that I’m simply used to the cold by now… but perhaps I need to constantly remember my life-long connection to my own creations, since I’ve witnessed great acts of birth so often and so closely, to work to the most of my capacity. Isolation in an eternal winter achieves that feeling of familiarity. This way, I’m able to focus not just on alchemy – but on her last request to me, right before she left me. As for what that is… surely it’s up for interpretation, but I believe she wanted me to be happy."
Stunned by her story, Sucrose’s heart sank without knowing what to do with such an overwhelming feeling of sadness. Though eye contact was not her forte, she found herself firmly looking at the Chief Alchemist’s eyes in bewilderment, her right hand mindlessly reached for blonde locks that curtained her face. Her brief fretting over what she was about to do was interrupted by the inviting smile that met her. So, she stroked her hair, keeping her worried golden gaze. Albedo’s teal eyes didn’t meet her, in fear of what emotions it could fuel in her - instead, lowered eyelashes searched for her apprentice’s free hand, and soothingly rested hers on top. Sucrose’s ears fluttered more noticeably at this sweet gesture.
"I see… I think I can understand," the bio-alchemist uttered while meditating something, lovingly caressing Albedo’s hair. "Wanting to surround yourself with the things you’ve long lost, I mean. Alchemy achieves that very same feeling for me, as well – it’s kept my happy memories and dreams alive for so long. Likewise, I keep it in a special place in my heart for that reason." Until finally she dared to ask, lowering her voice into almost a whisper. "…Um, Miss Albedo?"
"Yes, Sucrose?"
"If- If I were to fill a space with all of the things you love from this world, do you think you would be closer to what your mother wanted you to accomplish?"
Heart pounding against her chest and eyelids half-closed, Albedo carefully intertwined their fingers and lifted the hand she was holding to place a soft kiss in its back.
"That is a very nice dream to have. Yes - I think I would."
Sucrose smiled at that response, giggling blissfully at the thought of a new guest to witness her dream – someone she had been waiting to invite for a long time. The sight of her cheeks picking up a pinker tone was quite amusing to the prince, who covertly wondered what else she could do to cause that reaction. She knew that she was pretty, wondrously so - but she felt that, even after they came back to Mondstadt and their day-to-day, she’d still have more certainty about just how beautiful she was than anyone else in town.
Idly, Albedo sat up and felt around their belongings until she found the pouch filled with sweets she had been gifted earlier, then took a candy near her mouth. Soft spoken, she asked to Sucrose, who was smiling beneath her: "…Do you want one?"
The bio-alchemist nodded. Something sweet could certainly make this evening even nicer… But, while sitting up, the mix of exhaustion and drowsiness seeping through her body made her almost lose balance. She only caught herself in time by supporting herself in Albedo’s hug.
"My apologies, Miss Albedo! Are you alright--"
"No need," her mentor hushed her as she, at last, put the candy inside her mouth. At no point did she let go of their embrace, nor did she take her eyes off her assistant.
Sucrose, although lost in just how almost-feverishly warm her body felt even in the cold of night, could understand her cue. Hence she leaned in closer, closer, closer until she was hearing both of their loud heartbeats, and alluring lips received her with an oh-so-sweet, intimate kiss. Albedo’s hands lovingly held her waist, fingers running through the exposed skin on her back, while Sucrose’s settled on her beloved’s face. Sweetness enveloped their tongues as they playfully shared her candy – a mere excuse to intertwine mouths, to experience firsthand how truly velvet-like their lips felt. The caramel quickly dissolved in their warmth, leaving them alone with all their pent-up curiosity and deep-running desire.
In-between kisses, Albedo muttered: "Cecilias… Crystalflies, butterflies… And you…" she withdrew from the kiss to look into her honey eyes, panting, and said: "Sucrose, if I am to see the live portrayal of my happiness, then I want you there. Would you take my hand?"
On the verge of tearing up at her words, she placed a hand on the center of her lover’s chest, and answered naturally: "I’d follow you anywhere, Albedo… You should already know that."
The prince chuckled. "Maybe I wanted to hear you say it. Without the honorifics, too."
Sucrose gasped at her realization as she covered her mouth, ears flickering and the red from her cheeks extending to her ears. "Aah…! T-That’s not fair at all, Miss Albedo! I was caught off-guard…"
"I know," she lovingly brushed her cheek with her thumb, smirking. "And I will do my best to invoke that response more often."
"Hum… If this will be recurring behavior, then I must immediately search for ways to make this a fair trade." She took her hand to her chin with a serious expression and began brainstorming out loud: "For example, I could have you gather materials for me in exchange. Oh! I could find more ancient recipes for you to transmute. I would really like that!"
"Anything to make you happy, ‘Miss Sucrose.’"
Their melodious laughter resounded blissfully, warding off all misfortune.
Once again they met each other cuddling under soft blankets. Their bodies still ached for more closeness, for knowing more about each other – without word, they shared the dream of filling the room only with traces and records of their love.
‘Love’… That word had hardly crossed Albedo’s mind, but it had been overflowing the air surrounding her that whole afternoon, and just now the ever-observant Chief Alchemist was able to pluck it from the breeze to hold it in her fingers: she loved Sucrose, and Sucrose loved her back. And if they ever were to be divided, the vague certainty that their aspirations would let them meet again eventually allowed Albedo to understand why people needed words such as ‘destiny.’ Whether it existed or not, their encounter would still be regarded as another one of this world’s wonders.
Their eyes wore the color of each other’s ambitions: geo and anemo. Perceiving color is, Sucrose read in one of the books she borrowed, the result of an object absorbing all other hues contained in white light - with one exception. This exception was the color that was reflected by the object: in other words, the color of that object. Likewise, the pair reserved many things only to their own inner worlds… yet when their eyes met, they shared the colors of the elements that symbolized all their hopes for the future.
Eased by a feeling of safety, Sucrose relaxed her head in Albedo’s shoulder as she tugged on her arm and dozed off to sleep. Heart softened by the sight, Albedo closed her eyes and, gently caressing her chest, she let herself be entranced by the crescendo that culminated in snow – the messenger of her master. For the first time in years, she watched it fall without being crushed by homesickness, and instead revered the musicality of belonging right where she was. She wished Sucrose good night, and soon enough fell asleep as well.
Later, when the day woke up, it would find a newly blossomed love in the summit of its winter. Their connection was a dear ode to all life.