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“No,” Derek said, staring at the box in Stiles’ hands as it made quiet noises and jiggled.
“But you said-”
“I said we could discuss getting a pet,” Derek said, rubbing a hand through his hair. “And you know it’s difficult for ‘wolves to find a pet that isn’t either afraid of or threatened by them.” The corner of Stiles’ lips turned down at the corners, and his eyes widened. “Oh no, I am not falling for those. You taught me how to resist Scott’s. I’m not falling for yours.”
Stiles pursed his lips and looked determined. “Will you take a bribe?”
“We have a joint bank account,” Derek pointed out. “Your money is my money and vice versa. Take the puppy back, Stiles.” He hated telling Stiles ‘no,’ and he admitted to wondering what it would be like having a pet, but he didn’t want to cause some strange animal distress just by existing.
“It’s not a puppy,” Stiles responded, his eyes looking hopeful. “Does that make a difference?”
“Is it six puppies?” Derek asked. He’d tried to smell the air when Stiles had entered the house with the oversized box with holes in the top, but he’d picked up nothing. He suspected Stiles had used magic to mask the scent of the animal.
“It is nothing of the canine persuasion,” Stiles said, his eyes shifting to the side.
“Because you thought a cat in the den of someone who changes into a wolf would be a good idea?” Derek asked, astonished. Stiles was the second most intelligent person he knew (no one was smarter than Lydia), but he had the least amount of common sense. It amazed Derek he’d survived as long as he had, to be honest.
“Tonia isn’t just any cat, Der,” Stiles said.
“Oh my god, you’ve already named her?!” He ran a hand over his face, resigning himself to the fact that he had become a cat dad without consent or notice. When Derek dropped his hand, the smile on Stiles’ face had Derek smiling in response. “Well, let me meet the little girl.”
Stiles giggled, set the box on the floor, and threw back the flaps with a flourish. “Ta-da! Introducing Tonia Talia Stilinski-Hale!”
Derek leaned over the box before falling backward when an orange and black projectile hit him in the chest. He landed on the floor hard, his breath leaving him as he looked up into Tonia’s face. He took in her appearance for the first time. “Dammit, Stiles, this is not a cat!”
“Sure she is. She’s just going to be a really big one,” Stiles responded, grinning. “And she’s so sweet.”
Tonia leaned forward and bopped her nose against Derek’s before running her tongue from his chin to forehead. “Stiles, we can’t keep her. It’s illegal to have tigers as pets in California.”
Stiles pouted his lip out before snapping his fingers. Tonia shrank until she became small enough to sit in the palm of Derek’s hand. She began kneading her paws against Derek’s chest with a purr. “Guess it’s a good thing she’s a plain old tabby then,” he said. “But you said we can keep her!” Derek opened his mouth to argue that he’d actually said just the opposite. “You said we can’t keep tigers which means we can keep her!”
Derek dropped his head to the ground and groaned. He wasn’t sure who had told Stiles that he was funny, but Derek needed to hunt them down and kill them. Tonia moved to the floor, curling up in the space between Derek’s shoulder and neck, her tiny breaths brushing against his skin. Reaching up, he rubbed his fingers over her head, listening to her purr.
Closing his eyes, Derek relaxed, deciding to be a pet parent wouldn’t be so bad after all. He heard Stiles making himself comfortable on her other side and the sound of a photo being taken. “Just wait until we tell Daddy about your siblings,” Stiles whispered, and Derek’s eyes flew open to see Stiles sitting with five more kittens in his lap.
“Stiles…”
“I said they weren’t canines,” Stiles defended.
Derek gave up as the rest of the kittens began climbing all over him. One nipped at his ear and made him jump, dumping a couple back to the floor. He knew he should be furious, but he couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped him. “You are so lucky. I love you,” he told Stiles.
“Don't I know it,” Stiles countered, reaching over and picking up a black and white kitten as it tried to make its way across the floor. “Don’t I know it.”