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There was no shortage of things that he found strange and unusual. Sometimes it was small differences between him and the mortals, sometimes it was something that would leave him in a quiet awe. Frailty of a human body was one of the matters that he could hardly wrap his head around.
It felt as though it could break with a strong gust of the wind.
It felt as though it could be shattered by the lightest of blows.
It holds true for diseases as well – a simple cold caught during a cold morning stroll could develop into pneumonia and sweep away one’s life in the matter of days… One should always be careful around humans – the adepti easily forget about that simple fact at times.
He was no exception.
Perhaps it was because he’d grown so used to her being so incredibly strong, physically and at heart. Or perhaps it was because he’d started to see her as more than a mere human, a passing existence in everlasting life. Perhaps it was because of all of that he failed to notice.
He’d hardly seen her lapse during a fight. Always sharp and focused, never looking away from the opponent. So why right then did she miss a blade falling down on her? Why did she stop in her tracks, unsteady on her feet? That was the wakeup call. A sign screaming out that something was clearly wrong.
Xiao managed to swoop in and push away the enemy, keeping her securely behind his back as she tumbled to the ground. The remnants of the enemies weren’t numerous, it took no time at all for him to deal away with them. Only then could he give her his undivided attention.
“Lumine?”
“I’m… alright. Thank you for taking care of that.”
She tried to stand up, to no avail. He caught her right as she was about to hit the ground again. Even through the fabric of the gloves Xiao sensed the unnatural heat radiating from her skin. Most likely it was the cause for the constant redness on her cheeks. “You don’t seem alright.”
She had no strength to stand on her own. As her body refused to carry her any further, he took it upon himself to deliver Lumine to safety by hoisting her up and cradling her close to his chest.
“It’s just a fever. I must’ve caught a cold.”
“This abruptly?” Somehow he could tell she was lying.
“Mm,” she nuzzled against him, her consciousness slowly drifting into a slumber. “I thought it would just pass soon…”
Xiao stiffened as her voice trailed away. He held his own breath to confirm she still drew hers – and only then did his mind settle a little. This unexpected worry weighing down on him was a novelty. A bizarre tangle tightening around his heart. Never before had he cared about a human being this greatly to be able to experience the pain of woe that came with it. Even though she was the one suffering from a severe fever, he couldn’t help but mull it over.
Too fragile. She was too fragile. Despite the overall strength, despite the unyielding spirit… She was still a frail human. He’d always known a human life to be that of a dandelion seed blown away from its stem, carried by the winds to its end throughout the eternity he endured. Weak. As flimsy as a drop of water exposed to the sun's heat.
And he had never wished to preserve one this desperately.
***
The boss at Wansghu Inn gifted him with a fresh cloth as well as a bowl of ice cold water and instructed him what to do to get the fever down. A few long hours later, when the dusk was shyly letting itself known on the otherwise dark sky, he had already changed the wet cloth on her forehead for the umpteenth time.
Thank heavens, she appeared to be doing better – her face regained its usual porcelain paleness and her then-laboured breathing fell back to its normal rhythm. Xiao felt weary – not because of tens of hours spent without a wink of sleep. Throughout the night he had learnt that concern was way more exhausting than any physical activity. By the time the orange rays of waking sun soaked through the cracks in window shutters, he was fast asleep with his head on the bed right next to her.
He awoke to a pleasant sensation of someone’s fingers running through his hair. As the haze from his mind slowly dissipated he realised that he had failed to keep awake. His body jolted up, the memory of sleep replaced by wariness.
Lumine froze with her hands mid-air, startled by the sudden movement. He caught her gaze, clearer and less teary than a day before.
“Have you been with me all night long?” She tilted her head to the side, a thin smile spreading across her lips. “Thank you.”
“How do you feel?”
“So much better. My fever is gone, it’s all thanks to your attentive care,” Lumine giggled, the carefree sound serving as the final proof that she indeed recovered.
However Xiao was far from getting rid of that worry pushing thorns into him. There was a slight grimace drawn on his expression, barely visible to someone who didn’t know him well enough. But she knew.
“Xiao, it was just a plain cold. Perfectly normal,” she reassured him gently.
“There’s nothing normal about the feebleness of a human body. There’s so many things capable of taking you away—”
“Xiao,” Lumine reached out to catch his face between her cool palms. Her face spoke volumes – of the words she wanted him to offer, of promises she wanted to make to him. Instead, she settled for something simpler. “I have no intention of leaving you.”
He sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes widening ever-so-slightly.
“Because… that’s the reason behind your vexation, isn’t it. I won’t let death catch me so easily. There will be times when I’ll get sick or injured again. It’s inevitable. But I will still be here nonetheless.”
It was his face’s turn to grow warmer, not through fever’s fault. He could hardly turn his head away when she was holding him. He settled for looking somewhere over her shoulder.
“I’m aware of your strength,” at last he spoke up, the words adorned with a heavy sigh. “And yet I can’t help but worry. I’m not used to this.”
“Now you’re closer to understanding humans than you think. I know it’s a painful emotion, but I’m… happy that you care about me this much.”
He lost that fight. Xiao’s eyes looked down again to peer into hers, the mildness inside of them almost too heavy to bear. Is that the essence of humanity? To have a constant shade thrown over even the happiest of feelings? Perhaps it was the truth behind human complexity. However if it meant that he was able to access those silver linings of happiness he hadn’t known existed… then it wasn’t unwelcome.
“You should probably rest some more. I’ll ask the chef to make you some food. The boss said that you would need it after awakening,” he pulled her hands away from his face and stood up.
“Now that you’ve mentioned it, I am a bit hungry. Thank you. I’m sorry to burden you with this.”
He halted upon hearing that and even though he was midway to the door, he turned around and approached her yet again. Despite his better reason, he leaned down to place a tender kiss on her forehead. “You’re not burdening me with anything, Lumine. I’ll happily take care of you.”
I hope you know, he thought to himself as he made his way towards the kitchen, that I meant something more than just today.
Whenever your body fails to carry you
I will always be there to pick you up
Be it a fight or a fever, I won’t let you fall