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Chapter Text

Tony could feel his temper fraying. He'd finally found some semblance of peace in his life again and then suddenly a ship full of Asgardians was landing in his metaphorical lap.

He quietly fumed as Thor interrupted him again to demand that Rogers and the rest of the team be brought in. Despite the new look and new responsibilities he was still as dismissive of Tony as ever.

Bruce was sitting with his head down and staring at his hands and it still hurt when he didn't speak up when Thor yelled at him. He'd lost a lot of faith in their friendship when the scientist up and left when working with Maximoff grew too difficult, leaving Tony to deal with the crazy bitch on his own.

"Rogers is on the fucking run from the law," Rhodey seethed, just as angry and with far less patience for Thor. "So is Romanoff. Barton and Wilson are on house arrest and the Vision is fuck knows where on his journey to find himself or whatever. Stop throwing a tantrum to get what you want and explain about this threat. And also explain why Loki is here."

Rhodey jabbed a finger in the trickster's direction. Loki was just watching this entire clusterfuck in morbid fascination.

"And 'because I say he's better' isn't an actual reason," Tony cut in as Thor opened his mouth. "Give us a real reason that isn't based on your opinion."

Thor scowled at them both and Bruce ducked his head lower.

"They are correct," Loki spoke up softly. 

Tony turned to face the mage and found some of his anger fading. He recognised that look in Loki's eyes. It was the same look he got anytime someone mentioned Afghanistan. 

"I will cooperate and explain my situation to your government," he assured with a grimace.

Rhodey and Tony exchanged a look.

"You can tell us and we'll take it from there," he decided.

Grimace still in place, Loki told them. He told them about falling from the Bifrost and being captured by Thanos. He reluctantly explained the torture and partial mind control he'd ended up under. He briefly explained how he didn't die during the whole thing in London and how he'd ended up on this weird alien planet. Thankfully he decided to explain the rest as well so they got a clear explanation for how the Asgardians had ended up here.

Tony leaned back with a sigh. Well, that was a mess.

"Friday, call Crowley and tell him I need a favour," he instructed.

Then he leaned forward and took control of the meeting.

"We'll deal with Loki's situation," he said. "But that doesn't change things. We are not letting Rogers off scott-free after all the shit he pulled just because you demand it. He fucked up and he's got to face the consequences. Besides which, I'll never work on the same team with that man again."

"Stark-"

"No," Tony cut him off. "You two weren't here. You weren't here and you don't get to demand things go your way now that you're back. The world doesn't work that way."

He stood up, Rhodey following. 

"You're welcome to stay in the Compound, you and the other Asgardians. But try not to cause trouble while I contact the UN about a crazy genocidal alien heading to Earth."

As they walked out Bruce spoke up.

"And Maximoff? You didn't mention her?"

Tony didn't turn around. "She's dead," he stated bluntly.

Worse than dead actually. But he wasn't going to try and explain Lucifer right now.

He left silence behind him.

Bruce, Loki and Thor were getting food with the rest of the Asgardians when the doors opened and Crowley strode in with a team of lawyers following him like ducklings.

Aziraphale followed but he was just watching in mild amusement.

"Right," Crowley came to a stop by them, ignoring Thor entirely. "We're going to work on your situation so come on," he gestured to Loki who was frowning.

"You are not Midgardian."

Crowley rolled his eyes. "No, I'm not. I'm a demon. But I'm also damn good with legal shit and Tony asked me to do this as a favour. So you coming or what?"

He waited impatiently until Loki nodded and stood up.

Thor opened his mouth to interrupt, likely to argue since he didn't like demons, when Aziraphale shoved him back in his seat with a hand on his shoulder.

He gave the god a gentle smile but his grip was unwavering.

"Crowley really is the best when it comes to this," he assured kindly. "But please don't interrupt him. He gets very focused and it does so annoy him to be stopped."

Crowley dragged Loki off with his gaggle of lawyers and Aziraphale only let go of Thor when they were gone.

"You're the angel right?" Bruce asked carefully. He'd never officially met Aziraphale. And only met Crowley during that one summoning they interrupted.

Aziraphale smiled brightly. "I am," he introduced himself. "My name is Aziraphale. Lovely to meet you Dr. Banner."

Bruce warily shook his hand.

"And you guys are here as a favour to Tony?" He asked.

"Oh, yes," he answered cheerfully. "Tony has helped us so much. He's a very kind man. So of course we're eager to help."

Thor was still scowling at him but Aziraphale seemed unbothered.

"I wouldn't try attacking my partner," Aziraphale added serenely. "He is attempting to help you and your people."

"The Captain was clear that demons are not to be trusted," Thor stated stubbornly.

"Hmm, yes. The Captain also beat Tony near to death and left him to die in a frozen and abandoned bunker."

Aziraphale's tone remained light but his gaze didn't waver from the paling men.

"A perfectly trustworthy individual," he gave them a smile before leaving the pair to think on his words.

"What?" Bruce whispered.

"He must lie," Thor stated stubbornly.

A quiet scoff behind them drew their attention to Pepper Potts giving them a disdainful look.

"Aziraphale is a terrible liar. Either accept that Rogers isn't as perfect as you like to think he is or get out of the building. I won't let that man near Tony again."

They shrunk under her glare until she turned and walked away, heels clicking against the tiles as the crowd parted hurriedly before her.

"I think we need to do some research Thor," Bruce murmured softly. "It looks like a lot happened while we were gone."

Chapter Text

Bruce knew that Thor was nervous about this meeting. After doing some research, the scientist had been horrified to see the damage and destruction that Steve and the others had caused. Before just running off into the sunset without a glance back! (At least some of them seemed to have come to their senses. But he was unbelievably disappointed in Natasha.)

Thor hadn't seemed to see the problem, which was horrifying in its own way, until Loki had returned from working with Crowley.

He'd listened to Bruce's explanation and then looked at Thor and asked a single, curt question.

"What if Jane had been there?"

Thor had paled, eyes straying back to the footage of the bomb that had gone off in Lagos, the car chase in Bucharest, the fight in the German airport.

"Oh…" He’d whispered. 

Loki had only shaken his head and left them so that he could work on some paperwork Crowley had given him.

Now they were sitting in a conference room waiting for everyone to arrive. Apparently Tony had decided to inform both Heaven and Hell about the situation immediately. Bruce really didn’t know what to think about the fact that he apparently had Hell on speed dial…

Rhodey was going over paperwork of some kind at the head of the table and completely ignoring them. He’d been cold since they’d arrived, which Bruce could understand. He was extremely protective of Tony.

Crowley and Aziraphale were the first to arrive with Tony. The genius was speaking animatedly to them, gesturing wildly with his hands. Crowley seemed equally as invested in the conversation while Aziraphale watched them both fondly.

They didn’t look up from their conversation once as they headed to their seats. For a moment it looked like Thor was going to interrupt them but Loki shot him a glare which had him settling back with a sour look.

A few minutes later, two women in business suits walked in. Tony waved happily to them while Crowley and Aziraphale both watched with mild wariness.

“Uriel! Michael!” Tony greeted them, leaving his seat to shake their hands. “Nothing like a galactic threat to get everyone together huh?”

Uriel? Michael? It couldn't be...

Michael rolled her eyes but neither seemed annoyed. If anything, they both looked fond. They took their seats and the next guest arrived before Tony could sit again.

“Bee!” Tony cried in over-the-top delight as another stranger walked in. “Let me start on the introductions. This is Bruce Banner, Thor and Loki. They’re the ones with the information about the purple grapefruit.”

Loki snorted at his choice of words.

“Guys, these lovely ladies are the Archangels Michael and Uriel.”

Bruce went a little slack-jawed at the ‘archangel’ titles. They were.

“And this is Duke of Hell, Beelzebub. They/them pronouns please.”

Oh… it was just getting better and better… A Duke of Hell?

Beelzebub seemed to have a permanent scowl as they moved to their seat, appearing unbothered by Tony’s enthusiasm.

“Is that everyone?” Loki asked curiously.

“Oh no, we’re still waiting for-”

Tony was cut off by a new voice that made Hulk growl in the back of Bruce’s head. Which was all levels of concerning.

A man sauntered into the room, a smirk tugging on his lips as dark eyes scanned over them all.

Predator! Danger! Hulk was screaming in his head, freaking Bruce out. He’d never reacted to anyone like this before.

Loki had also tensed and was watching the man carefully although Thor didn’t seem to have reacted much.

“Luci!” Tony shattered the tension as he quite literally threw himself at the man. 

'Luci' caught the genius with ease and allowed Tony to essentially wrap around him.

“Hello Anthony,” he greeted smoothly.

Tony had his legs wrapped around the man’s waist and pulled back far enough to kiss him hard.

“Can you not?” Uriel asked dryly while Michael screwed up her face in distaste.

Beelzebub just sighed like they had given up on arguing the point.

Tony flashed them a grin as he pulled back.

“Be glad I’m still clothed everyone,” he told them with a smirk.

Several groans met that comment and the man chuckled, setting Tony down.

“Later Anthony,” he promised.

“I’m holding you to that,” Tony warned.

The pair shared a heated glance before the genius turned back to them all.

“Finally, we have Lucifer,” he introduced.

“Quite literally, the Devil,” Lucifer added as Bruce choked. “People do tend to get confused about that. Lucifer Morningstar at your service. Now, what’s this about a genocidal alien attempting to destroy my favourite planet?”

“It’s your only planet,” Crowley pointed out lazily.

“Besides the point,” Lucifer shrugged. “It’s still my favourite. And you did work so hard to avoid Armageddon there Crowley. I’d hate to see all that work be in vain.”

“You avoided your Armageddon?” Loki asked in surprise.

“More like those two screwed with it and stopped it from happening,” Tony pointed to Aziraphale and Crowley.

He grabbed Lucifer by the hand and dragged him over to the table, pointedly into the seat next to his own.

“Alright, that’s everyone,” Tony declared. “Literally Heaven, Hell and In-Between. I’m pretty sure that’ll be enough to stop this Thanos guy.”

He looked at Thor, Loki and Bruce.

“Wanna tell everyone the story?” he prompted.

“You slept with the literal Devil?!” Bruce burst out shrilly.

Tony blinked. “Sleeping. As in present tense,” he corrected.

Bruce might actually faint from this one.

“Oh come on, is anyone really surprised about this?” Tony asked in exasperation. 

“I don’t see the issue?” Thor admitted quietly.

Loki just face-palmed and muttered something about catching Thor up on the ruling Celestials and Pantheons in the different realms.

“You call him Luci,” Bruce said weakly, still caught on that.

“You wanna hear about what I call him in bed?” Tony asked innocently.

The immediate cries of ‘no!’ almost drowned out Lucifer’s laugh.

“Tony! Leave your sex life at the door!” Rhodey yelled.

“I don’t want to leave Luci at the door though Rhodey, that’s rude,” Tony whined.

Bruce had to admit through the disbelieving muddle of his emotions.

He’d missed the chaos that only Tony could bring.

Chapter Text

The room was silent following the end of their story.

Bruce watched them all nervously, not sure how the news would be taken.

“Asgard got destroyed?” Rhodey asked in disbelief after a moment. "Just like that?"

Thor winced and nodded. “The only survivors are on the ship we arrived in,” he admitted.

Tony was frowning but all the attention turned to Lucifer when he sighed and lifted a hand to rub his face.

"Of all the idiotic things I've ever heard," he muttered.

Aziraphale was looking pale while Crowley seemed just as exasperated as Lucifer did.

"If culling the population actually worked don't you think other places would have actually tried it?" he muttered, rubbing his eyes under his sunglasses.

"The paperwork that would come with that many people dying at once is…" Michael trailed off in horror.

Beelzebub was staring ahead of themselves blankly with a glazed look to their eyes, no doubt thinking about the paperwork as well.

"That's if the Soul Stone doesn't take all those souls instead of sending them to Heaven or Hell," Uriel pointed out faintly.

"That would just be rude," Lucifer huffed while the others choked on nothing at the idea.

"Well," Tony broke the tense silence. "We'd better avoid finding out then."

Murmurs of agreement sounded around the room.

"We all agreed on working together to take down the giant purple grape?" The genius asked.

"I'm sure we can put some family squabbles aside for this special case," Lucifer shot a charming smile over at Michael who rolled her eyes but didn't disagree.

"Great!" Tony clapped his hands together. "So, how are we doing this?"

"Securing the Infinity Stones on Midgard would be a good first step," Loki spoke up for the first time.

"I'll get in contact with Vision and call him back from his 'finding himself' journey," Rhodey volunteered.

"Ooh let me talk to the sexy doctor/sorcerer who's got the Time Stone," Lucifer requested eagerly.

Everyone turned to look at him.

"I'm sorry," Tony started. "Sexy doctor/sorcerer? And you didn't share ?!"

Rhodey smacked him over the head. "That's not the important part!"

"There's another Infinity Stone on earth?" Uriel asked, sounding done with this all already. "And you've known this entire time?"

"Oh, it's always been on earth. The last holder of the stone was an interesting lady. We had some lovely conversations over tea. We met when she tried to figure out if I was a threat to the planet or not. Her successor used to be a doctor. Hot as hell, pardon the pun." He shot a sharp smile at them. "You'd like him, Tony."

"Have you slept with him yet?" Tony asked curiously.

Lucifer sighed. "Unfortunately not. Terribly strong morals."

"Pity," Tony mused.

"Focus!" Rhodey snapped in exasperation. "So we've got the Mind Stone. The Time Stone is on earth. Anything else?"

There was a beat of silence before Loki cleared his throat and lifted a hand, revealing the Tesseract in a flash of magic.

"Brother," Thor sighed in exasperation.

"Ooh, I like him," Lucifer decided.

"He threw me out of a window once."

"Not the kinkiest thing we've done in role-play."

"Wasn't the fun kind of being tossed around Luci."

"I told you to leave your sex life at the door!"

Heaven and Hell getting involved was… interesting.

Suddenly they had angels and demons passing through the compound regularly. Some more content with the situation than others.

Uriel and Michael practically lived down in the Compound while Beelzebub showed up most days. Aziraphale and Crowley had their own room and Lucifer unashamedly moved into Tony's. 

That wasn't the end of it though. Lucifer's friends showed up, a detective who seemed resigned to the situation and another demon who sent other denizens of Hell running when she appeared.

Aziraphale and Crowley's friends also showed up, a witch, a human with an uncanny ability to destroy tech and who Tony forbade from touching anything, and a group of children.

Which apparently included the literal anti-Christ.

… he was a nice kid.

Lucifer denied any relation, claiming that it was a complicated story.

Bruce was running into more and more strange and interesting people on the daily.

It was enough to make his head spin.

He even met the Archangel Gabriel who they called down to brief on the situation.

He was apparently on probation.

Bruce sighed as he sat back with a hot cup of tea.

"A little overwhelming?" Aziraphale asked sympathetically as he poured his own tea.

Bruce gave a sheepish nod.

"I never expected to be working around angels and demons," he admitted.

"Centuries ago I never imagined I'd be working with a demon. And yet, here Crowley and I are."

"That seems like one heck of a story."

"It is," Aziraphale smiled fondly. "Crowley's always been better at telling it though. I just don't have the same way with words that he does."

They both fell into a peaceful silence as they sipped from their drinks. It was nice to have a quiet moment in the chaos that was the Compound at the moment.

Their peace was disrupted when Rhodey came stalking into the room, looking livid.

"Rhodey?" Bruce asked in concern.

What had happened to make the Colonel that furious?

The man met his eyes.

"The UN is panicking over Thanos. They don't believe us when we tell them that we've got a plan and since we can't really tell them that Heaven and Hell are on our side…" he trailed off and closed his eyes for a moment as he calmed down. "They're pardoning Rogers."

Aziraphale stilled beside him while Bruce stared at the Colonel in shock.

"Romanoff too. They're bringing them and the rest of that lot in. All hands on deck they said."

He gave a derisive snort.

"Is that so?" A cool voice spoke from the doorway and they all turned to see Lucifer leaning against the doorframe. "Well, we can't have the little mortal waltzing in to mess things up, now can we?"

His smile showed too many teeth and there was a dark glint in his eyes.

The Hulk practically whimpered in Bruce's mind.

He almost felt sorry for Rogers.

Chapter Text

It was finally time to fix things and get everything back to the way it was.

Steve took a deep breath when he stepped off the plane and back onto American soil. (He tried to ignore the way he tripped moments later.)

It was good to be home.

And he was going to meet up with his team at last. Tony had done some serious damage to the Avengers and Steve had his work cut out for him so that he could repair all of that.

He was definitely going to have to rein the genius in. He couldn’t be allowed to cause so much trouble again.

Steve would make sure to keep better control over the man this time.

He smiled politely at the people that he passed as he followed his guide to the conference room where the meeting would take place. (Two people opened doors straight into his face and even though it did seem like an accident, they didn’t seem particularly sorry when they recognised him.) 

It was ridiculous that it took an end of the world situation before Tony finally stopped being petty and brought him back. But better late then never he supposed. At least the man was able to get over his ego enough to do it in the end. It meant there was some hope for him.

Steve straightened up and smiled widely as they approached the door. He’d finally see Bucky again…

The Accords representative glanced at him. “You’ve got something in your teeth,” she muttered before stepping ahead to open the door.

Steve sighed to himself. He’d had the strangest string of bad luck lately. Tripping over nothing, losing things, items breaking when he went to use them.

It was weird.

He wouldn’t let something so minor bother him though. Things were about to get better after all.

(The seam of his sleeve tore slightly and he bit back an annoyed sound. His uniform had torn a ridiculous amount of times lately. Tony had clearly cut corners with this one when he made it…)

But that didn’t matter. He was finally home.

He followed the woman into the room, excited to see everyone and repair the damage Tony had done.

He was shocked by what he found though.

Everyone but Tony was already there and they were spread across the room and looked so different from the last time he’d seen them.

Bucky was leaning against the wall and he looked… good. His hair was still long but it was tied up and he was dressed in well-fitting clothes. The metal arm was clearly on display which made Steve a little nervous. Bucky had always been self-conscious of it before, hiding it under long sleeves and jackets.

Natasha was sitting at the table, her hair a shocking blond. She looked as calm and composed as before but it was strange for Steve to see her in worn-looking clothes and a weariness weighing down her shoulders.

Clint was slumped in a seat a distance away. None of them were sitting right next to each other, not even Clint and Nat. The archer looked exhausted and his gaze was fixed on the table in front of him.

Sam looked just as bad, tiredness clear on his face and a dull look in his eyes.

Scott seemed to be trying to disappear into his seat, hunched in on himself.

All the things Steve had been planning to say caught in his throat as he looked at the quiet and subdued group.

How could Tony do this to them?

“Hey guys,” he greeted, forcing a smile (close-lipped, he was overly aware of the food stuck in his teeth that he hadn’t got free yet.)

Bucky grunted in reply. Natasha flicked a glance at him and the others didn’t react at all.

It made Steve more anxious. This was so wrong.

But before he could continue and reassure them that things would be okay now, the Accord’s representative shooed him towards the table.

“Afternoon Mr. Stark,” she greeted politely and Steve’s head snapped to face the door.

He’d been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn’t heard the approaching footsteps.

“Sandy,” Tony flashed the woman a warm smile as he strode into the room.

Steve stiffened in shock when that demon and his friend followed him.

“Mr. Crowley. Mr. Aziraphale,” Sandy greeted them as well as she handed over some of the paperwork she was carrying.

“Lovely to see you again Sandy,” Aziraphale smiled warmly at her. Crowley was already flipping through the paper.

“They know about the NDAs?” he asked.

“Yes. They’ve all agreed to sign as discussed,” she assured.

Steve clenched his fists. He didn’t agree with having to sign the Accords and these NDAs but it had been insisted on and they’d threatened to throw him in jail if he didn’t. 

Just more proof that the Accords were corrupt.

“Well then, let’s get started,” Tony cut into his thoughts. “We’ve got a lot to get through.”

Steve wanted to interrupt, to finally talk to Tony and tell him how unacceptable this all was, but he caught Aziraphale’s eyes and remembered how easily the man had held him in place before.

The words dried up in his throat and he slowly sat where Sandy had directed him to.

Bucky joined them at the table, sitting far away from Steve, much to his dismay. Tony sat at the head of the table with that demon and Aziraphale while Sandy handed out the paperwork.

“Sign these please. They are NDAs and ensure that nothing you speak of here can be spoken of outside of those with clearance to know.”

Steve opened his mouth to argue but the others were already reaching for their pens.

Clint and Bucky signed with zero hesitation. Sam and Scott paused a beat before signing. Nat scanned the documents before putting down her own signature.

Out of options and backed into a corner, Steve clenched his jaw and reluctantly signed as well. (He had to get a different pen because the one he picked up wouldn't work.)

Sandy gathered the documents and nodded after checking them.

“Just call me if you need anything, Mr. Stark,” she smiled as she left through the door.

Tony called out a thank you before focusing on those at the table.

“Right, now that everyone’s here and the paperwork’s done, we can get started,” he said loudly.

Steve finally interrupted.

“Where’s Wanda?” he demanded. Did Tony lock her up again?

Everyone gave him odd looks and Clint scoffed under his breath.

“She’s dead,” Tony stated bluntly, sending Steve reeling back. 

“She attacked Crowley and Tony in a cafe and an ally stepped in and stopped her,” Aziraphale explained calmly. “I’ve never met a woman more incapable of self-reflection in my life.”

“Rogers over there comes pretty close,” Crowley muttered. 

“Oh yes, the self-righteousness is coming off him in waves. He somehow believes he’s still in the right,” Aziraphale sounded perplexed by that.

Steve stared at them, still shocked to his core. 

Wanda was dead?

Why was no one else upset about that?

He was supposed to fix the team. But… he couldn’t fix Wanda being dead.

Caught up in his thoughts, he almost missed Tony’s next words.

“Moving on, you’re all here because we have a genocidal alien on his way to try and kill half of life on earth. Bruce? Thor? Mind giving the highlights?”

Steve’s head snapped to the side, only realising now that the two missing members of the team had just entered the room.

Things were completely out of his control.

And he didn’t like it.

Chapter Text

Steve didn’t like the new people at the Compound. He didn’t trust any of them.

That demon and his friend had brought a bunch of other people with them.

Two women who looked down their noses at him and dared to call themselves archangels. The gall!

There was another guy who called himself an archangel but he ignored Steve and most of the other people in the compound like they didn’t exist. And one of those women were always with him.

And then there was the other demon! Beelzebub!

It was disgusting.

How could Tony have sunk this low?

The rest of the team watched the new people with wariness but didn’t say anything. Steve seemed to be the only one willing to take a stand here.

He needed to tell Tony that this was unacceptable.

“I can’t believe it was you!” 

He heard Tony coming towards the common room, sounding overly dramatic about something, and braced himself for the needed confrontation.

“Seriously, it’s a small universe!” Tony continued. “And you said no to Luci?”

Steve frowned to himself. He’d heard Tony mention this ‘Luci’ person and had yet to meet them. They were probably another bad influence on the man.

“Tony, not everyone is as eager as you are to jump into bed with someone that dangerous.”

There was a beat of silence.

“But he’s hot,” Tony whined.

An exasperated sigh followed that statement as Tony and that sorcerer from before came into sight.

"And you really have no interest in-"

"No Tony," Stephen sighed. "I'm not interested in a threesome with you and your not-boyfriend."

All Steve's prepared arguments flew out of his head as he gaped at those words.

Threesome?!

Boyfriend?!

The pair completely ignored him as they continued on while Steve was left spluttering.

Really! That demon had clearly been a bad influence on Tony.

James sighed to himself as he managed to avoid Steve again. He really wasn't ready to talk to his old friend. Not yet.

He really wished the man would stop hunting him down across the compound like this.

"Hmmmm."

The voice sent a shiver of fear down his spine, Winter going quiet in a way James had never felt before.

Winter was afraid of whoever was in the room with them.

"What a delectable little treat you are."

The man's breath ghosted over the back of his neck and James couldn't breathe.

The man, (was it a man? Was it even human?), chuckled, body close enough that James could feel his body heat.

"Little Soldier, what is it that you desire?"

The question made him shudder and gasp and the answer just slipped out.

"Peace," his voice was rough. "My apartment. My cat. My plums. Just… peace."

There was a beat of silence before a hand landed on the nape of his neck and James shivered again as the man leaned in close to his ear.

"What a tortured soul. And yet you're still headed Upstairs? Impressive. Do your part in this battle James. And you just might get that peace you're looking for." He leaned close enough that his lips were practically brushing against James' ear. "Who knows? You might have some fun along the way. Find me if you ever want an exciting night."

And just like that, the man vanished, taking his suffocating aura with him.

James swallowed.

"Did I… just get hit on by a demon or somethin'?" He croaked.

"Lucifer does tend to do that," Friday chirped from above him.

James' world tilted a little.

"Who?" His voice almost gave out on him now.

"Lucifer Morningstar. He's a good friend of Boss'," she answered cheerfully.

James stared at the door blankly.

"I think I need to lie down…"

Steve was searching for Bucky and getting more frustrated as time wore on. Where was he? Did Tony do something?! He should never have let the genius near his best friend!

Steve was pulled from his agitated thoughts as he walked into someone. He let out a sigh of relief when he realised that it was the man he’d been searching for.

“Bucky-” he started.

“Not now,” Bucky said gruffly, walking past him. “I’m in the middle of a sexual crisis.”

“What?” Steve asked, baffled, as the man walked away.

What just happened?

Clint was slumped at the kitchen counter as he waited for his coffee to brew, thoughts chasing themselves in his head. Being back here was only making him think back on everything and it forced him to realise the truth.

At some point, he’d become an entitled, superior asshole.

He sighed and rubbed his face.

Suddenly, every one of his instincts went haywire and he stiffened, muscles tensing in preparation to draw his gun and spin around.

He found himself freezing when someone spoke.

“Hello there little archer,” he purred and Clint shuddered, icy terror clutching at his heart and lungs. 

Whoever it was, was standing directly behind him. And Clint couldn’t move, frozen in a sort of primal terror.

“Don’t you just reek of guilt and regrets,” the voice continued and Clint shuddered as he leaned in closer. “Tell me, little archer. What is it that you desire?”

The question echoed in Clint’s head, growing louder and louder until he opened his mouth and the answer spilled out.

“My family,” he croaked.

“Hmm, so sentimental. Sweet. Perhaps there is hope for you after all then. What would you do to gain the forgiveness you seek?”

“Anything,” the answer was out without Clint’s permission. “I fucked up and I’d do anything to fix that.”

“Even though it was the witch that influenced you?”

“Doesn’t mean I’m completely innocent,” Clint whispered.

He felt raw and exposed as he remembered Laura’s pained expression. As he remembered his kids’ suspicion. It wasn’t that easy to wipe away the pain he caused. He should have used his brain when it came to that HYDRA witch.

“Would it soothe your soul to know that the witch is suffering for her crimes?”

Clint stilled and then forced himself to turn his head, looking over his shoulder. He was caught by the eyes watching him.

Amused. Dark.

Predatory.

“Yes,” he answered honestly.

A wide smile and he raised his hand, a red something appearing in his hand. Clint stared at it before his gaze shifted back to those eyes.

“Is she suffering?”

“Far more than hell could accomplish.”

“Good.”

He closed his hand and the red soul disappeared.

“Remember the lessons you’ve learned, little archer. Don’t repeat your mistakes. You might just gain back what you lost.”

And he was gone.

Clint slumped down on the counter, breathing hard as that suffocating presence vanished from the room.

“What the fuck?” he choked out. “Who was that?”

“Lucifer Morningstar,” Friday answered cheerfully.

Clint stood, shaking, in the middle of the kitchen.

“Fuck.”

Steve walked into the kitchen to find Clint staring blankly at the wall, a cold cup of coffee in his hands.

“Clint?”

“Fuck off,” the man muttered.

“Clint-”

The archer ignored him, dropping his full mug in the sink and leaving the room. He paused at the door and glanced back. There was something Steve couldn’t identify in his eyes.

“I almost feel sorry for you,” Clint murmured.

Steve watched him go in confusion. What was happening?

Chapter Text

Scott felt lost as he shuffled through the compound. He didn't feel like he belonged here. Hope was still mad at him, Hank barely talked to him, and he hadn't heard from Cassie since arriving.

He'd really fucked things up.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't spot the person sitting on the couch in the common room until he was halfway into the room.

"Oh, sorry," he said, stopping. "I didn't know anyone was in here."

The man smiled at him. "Don't worry. The room is for everyone's use."

Scott suppressed a shiver. He was as straight as they came but he could still appreciate how insanely good-looking the guy was. And his voice... Girls must swoon over him.

"Um, thanks," he mumbled, dropping into an armchair.

He didn't know what he was supposed to be doing. It wasn't a training day and he'd spent way too much time holed up in his room. But was sitting out here like a lost puppy any different?

The man studied him for a moment.

"Scott Lang right?" He asked.

Scott looked up in surprise. "Um, yeah, that's me." He cringed a bit. He was more well known than before, but for all the wrong reasons. "Uh, sorry, I don't know who you are…"

The man chuckled, uncrossing his legs and leaning forward, elbows now on his knees.

"Lucifer Morningstar."

Scott blinked.

"Cool name," he said. "Is that your superhero name? Or were your parents those 'my child is unique' types?"

He cringed when he realised what he said while Lucifer looked amused.

"I mean- Not in a bad way," he hurriedly added but cut off when the man chuckled again.

"You seem lost Mr. Lang," he said.

Scott felt like the guy was looking at his very soul for a moment.

"Tell me. What is it that you desire?"

The question was weird but Scott still found himself answering.

"To prove to my daughter that I'm worth talking to again…"

"Sweet," the man mused. "You parents do all have a weakness and attachment to your spawn."

Scott looked at him in confusion. What?

"Perhaps it's not so far out of your reach Mr. Lang," the man said with a strange smile.

Before Scott could make sense of what he said, Lucifer was standing up and stretching languidly.

"See you around Mr. Lang."

"Uh, just Scott. Mr. Lang makes me feel like I'm in trouble."

"Scott." He smiled at Scott before walking out of the room.

"Huh. That was a little weird. Nice guy though," Scott mused.

Friday didn't have the heart to tell him.

Steve was getting frustrated. The team was avoiding him and he didn’t understand it.

Bucky was jumpy and kept blushing anytime Steve asked him what was wrong. Clint only gave him these weird pitying looks before walking away.

Scott ran away like a skittish rabbit after stuttering out some excuse to not talk to him. Sam walked away before he could get any words out.

And he hadn’t seen Natasha since the meeting.

He also hadn’t seen Tony which was frustrating. He needed to have a serious conversation with the genius.

It was ridiculous that demons were strolling around while Steve was limited in where he could go.

Tony needed to fix this.

He walked into a room and spotted Scott sitting in one of the armchairs. Before he could even call out to the man, he spotted Steve and leapt up, bolting from the room.

Steve watched him go in irritation.

For a moment, he thought he heard a chuckle behind him, but when he turned he couldn’t see anyone.

He shook his head, ignoring the shiver that ran down his spine.

Sam sat on his bed in his room, head filled with his regrets and frustration directed at himself.

All he’d wanted was to be a good person, to help people.

To make Riley proud of him.

But instead, he’d made a massive mess, oblivious to the harm he was causing and not realising how arrogant he’d become.

How did he let things get this bad? To the point that he thought one man’s word was law and above over a hundred countries. To the point that he looked down his nose at a man for disagreeing with him and following Steve on a rampage through different countries, leaving destruction and death in their wake.

He couldn’t blame Steve for everything. He couldn’t blame Wanda for it either.

He still chose to trust Steve, chose to accept the witch.

Chose not to listen to the most politically minded members of the team.

He was an idiot and the guilt was killing him.

“You seem rather caught up in your thoughts,” someone said from directly in front of him.

Sam’s head snapped up and he jerked back when he found a man standing close enough that their heads were almost touching. 

He was smiling and something about him set Sam on edge.

Also, how the hell had he got into his room without Sam realising?!

The man chuckled and stood up straight.

“Samuel Wilson,” he greeted, a smirk pulling at his lips.

He faintly reminded Sam of Stark, but with something… other about him.

“You’re a demon,” he realised. He had the same air as Crowley did. As that other demon, Beezlebub did.

The guy chuckled again. “You are a quick one.”

Sam shifted uncomfortably, feeling like he was being judged as the demon’s gaze bored into him.

“Uh, can I help you?” he asked, at a loss for what to do.

The demon looked amused. “Not particularly. I just came here to ask a question. I’m doing the rounds you could say.”

“Um, okay.” Sam waited a beat. “What question?”

He regretted asking when the demon leaned down again and Sam shrank against the wall, confused over why he felt so much more afraid of this demon than he did of Crowley.

“Tell me, Samuel. What is it you desire?”

The question only confused Sam even more but he felt strangely compelled to answer. So he did.

“To make up for my mistakes. To fix what I broke.”

The demon almost seemed to smile in approval.

“Good little soldier. Stick to that goal. You just might achieve it.”

And between one blink and the next, the demon was gone.

Sam sat on his bed, feeling shaken.

“What the hell just happened?” he wondered out loud.

“You just met Lucifer Morningstar,” Friday told him cheerfully.

Sam choked and stared ahead blankly.

He what?!

Steve had tried knocking on Sam’s door for a few minutes now but the man hadn’t answered. Asking Friday to let him in hadn’t worked as she said that their rooms were private and he wasn’t invited in.

Giving up, for now, he returned to looking for Tony.

Friday watched the idiot go with irritation. She hadn’t expected that she’d be protecting the other Rogues from Rogers.

But she did pity Wilson and he really didn’t need Rogers blundering in during his mini-breakdown.

So far the Rogues had all passed Lucifer’s test. 

Only two left.

Chapter Text

Natasha had seen the change in Clint’s and Yasha’s behaviour. She’d seen the fear in Sam’s eyes.

She knew something was coming for her soon.

That still didn’t take away from the terror that consumed her when she saw him. He was well-dressed, lips tilted up in a languid, amused smile. His hair was styled and he lounged on the couch comfortably.

It was his eyes though. Those were the eyes of a predator, of someone (or something) that knew it was the strongest in the room.

He frightened her far more than any meeting with Crowley did. This was a demon, but he was also so much more.

“Natalia,” the man greeted, his voice sending her heart racing. “Why don’t you sit down? We have much to discuss.”

Even though her instincts were screaming at her to run, to get as far from this being as possible, she knew it wouldn’t do any good.

He’d find her again.

She slowly moved to sit across from him, highly aware of how his gaze didn’t leave her for a moment.

He studied her intensely before speaking again.

“Now my dear, you’ve really buggered things up if you’ve got demons telling you to get your shit together.”

She fought the urge to squirm under that dark gaze.

“Crowley is a bit of a unique case, he’s rather fond of humans you see. But me? If you’ve got me saying the same thing, well, things really are rather dire.”

She couldn’t contain a flinch as he chuckled.

“You seem rather tense Natalia.”

The use of her birth name somehow made this all so much worse. She felt like he could see right to her core, past all the barriers she put up like they weren’t there.

It left her feeling exposed, vulnerable.

“You’re an interesting case,” he mused as she stayed silent. “You truly do wish to do better despite your horrific upbringing and everything you’ve done. You want to make that little archer proud and prove that he made the right decision in letting you live.”

It felt like she’d been punched as he spoke about her past so easily, about the wishes she kept tightly locked up in her heart.

“But you keep making mistakes, don’t you my dear?”

She swallowed hard, frozen like a deer under that gaze.

“I did what I thought was best,” she said.

He smiled but his gaze seemed to darken. Suddenly he was in front of her, leaning down with his arms braced on either side of her, whispering in her ear.

“Don’t lie to me Natalia. I do so detest lies.”

She froze, staring over his shoulder. She’d never been more terrified in her life, not even as a child.

He chuckled darkly.

“You did what was easy my dear. You didn’t want to fight the pompous Captain. So you let him go. It was easier to trust him than to question him. You didn’t want to consider that your trust was misplaced.”

She trembled, frozen in place as he ripped away her metaphorical armour.

“And then you ran. Because it was easier than facing the consequences.”

He tsked.

“You’ve made so very many mistakes Natalia.”

He pulled back enough to meet her wide, terrified eyes.

“Tell me Natalia, what is it you desire?”

She didn’t even know the answer until it spilled out of her mouth.

“A family,” she whispered in a small voice.

She flinched as he reached up a hand to caress her cheek.

“And you wished the Avengers had been that family,” he murmured and her eyes burned. “Little spider,” he almost cooed. “Family is important. Found family is a remarkable thing. But the bonds must be built on trust and mutual respect. Or it will crumble into nothing.”

She wanted to look away but she found she couldn’t.

“It isn’t too late for you to make amends,” he mused. “But you must stop running. Facing consequences is difficult and painful. But you can only move on when you embrace them.”

He stood to his full height, smile now gone and intense gaze locked on her.

“Stop running,” he repeated. “Admit to your mistakes. Own them Widow. Don’t let them control you. And perhaps you’ll find a family along the way.”

“Who are you?” she whispered as he turned to leave, still frozen in place.

He looked over his shoulder, quirking a smile at her.

“Who do you think?”

“Lucifer,” she breathed.

“Stare into the abyss too long, and it stares back at you Widow. You’ve seen me before. Step back from the abyss before you fall in.”

And he was gone.

Natasha felt raw and torn open.

She lowered her head into her hands and cried for the first time in years, perhaps decades. What had she done?

She flinched when a weight settled on her shoulders and looked up to find Clint sitting next to her, a blanket now draped over her.

He didn’t say anything, only tugged her into his side.

He let her cry and Natasha wondered if she’d been chasing something she already had.

Steve didn’t know why Friday refused to allow him into the common room, but she threatened to shoot him with the compound’s defense systems if he acted violently so he was forced to back down.

Sometimes he feared that she was turning into another Ultron.

Had Tony learned nothing?

Shaking his head, he headed back to his room. It felt like everything was going wrong, was slipping away from him.

Things were supposed to be getting better, not worse. But since he heard of Wanda’s death (the poor girl) he’d felt the situation getting more and more out of his control.

He needed to fix this. He needed to talk to Tony.

No matter who stood in his way.

Straightening up, he changed direction and headed down to the labs. He was a little surprised when no one appeared to stop him, and even more so when Friday opened the lab door with no argument.

He realised why when he didn’t find Tony working in the room.

Instead, a man he’d never met before was sitting at the table, watching something on the holographic screens.

Steve felt his stomach drop when he realised it was the footage from Siberia, filmed by the Iron Man suit.

“Steven Grant Rogers,” the man spoke without looking away from the screens. “I think it’s time we talked.”

He turned and dark eyes pinned the soldier in place.

Unfamiliar fear ran through Steve.

This person wasn’t human. It must be one of those demons. And Steve was done with letting these monsters talk down to him.

He moved to attack it but the stranger intercepted his attack easily and then grasped him by the neck, lifting him with what looked like no effort at all.

Steve tried to pry the creature’s hand from his throat but he found he couldn’t.

And it was still smiling at him.

It tsked at him. “Rude little mortal.”

Chapter Text

Lucifer found himself supremely unimpressed with the human clawing at his hand as he dangled above the ground.

What kind of idiot attacked someone with no idea of who they were?

There was still rage burning through his veins after watching the footage from Siberia again and his fury hadn’t dimmed since the first time.

This pathetic worm had harmed Anthony. And he would pay for it.

Lucifer would tear him to pieces metaphorically first, and then if he screwed up enough, he’d get to do it physically too.

He already got the joy of tormenting the witch’s soul, locking her in the nightmares she'd inflicted on her victims in life.

The things he could do with this sorry excuse for a soul…

“Demon,” the captain choked out, still straining to get free.

Lucifer chuckled. “Bravo. Although after meeting two already, I’d be concerned if you didn’t recognise me as one.”

He was minorly concerned over how oblivious Lang was. He’d met the man again and the strangely endearingly oblivious human had shown him pictures of his spawn.

He forced himself to focus on the man in front of him again.

His soul reeked of self-righteousness. The stench made Lucifer’s lip curl. With a quiet scoff, he threw the idiot onto the ground a short distance away. He didn’t need to worry about the man trying to escape. Dear Friday had locked the door for him already.

The soldier pushed himself up, watching Lucifer warily as he took a seat again, crossing his legs as he studied the man.

“You are a religious man are you not Mr. Rogers?” he asked, waving away the holographic screen that was still playing the footage.

“Yes,” Rogers answered shortly, watching him carefully now. Looks like he could be taught. At least when faced with someone much stronger than him.

He could still hear his comment from Siberia quite clearly. ‘I could do this all day.’

Where was that bravado now?

“I know that good will always triumph over evil,” the soldier said as he stood up, puffing up like a peacock. 

Lucifer rolled his eyes. He almost wanted to see his mother’s face when faced with this man. She would most certainly not be proud of or like him in any way.

He waved a hand dismissively. “Yes yes, good wins and evil falls,” he scoffed.

As Rogers took an angry step forward, a wall of hellfire sprang up, making him jump back.

“Don’t interrupt me. I’m talking,” Lucifer scolded. “Honestly, no manners.”

He shook his head.

“Before we begin though, I have an important question for you. Steven Grant Rogers, what is it you desire?”

His answer would determine how this conversation went.

Rogers’ eyes glazed over slightly as Lucifer’s power worked.

“What I deserve. The life of a hero, the greatest hero. For everyone to recognise that and listen to me.”

Lucifer sighed. The first and only of the Rogues to fail. Very well then.

“Now, onto what I wanted to talk about,” he said as Rogers shook his head, dazed from the question. “Being a religious man, you should know of the seven sins, correct?”

Rogers nodded, still watching the fire. Was that a flicker of fear crossing his face? About time.

Even Scott was unconsciously wary of him.

“Good, then I don’t need to explain them. Let’s go through them to see how they apply to you shall we?”

The man spluttered in offence.

“I am a good man!” he spat in fury.

Lucifer gave a dark chuckle. “Oh hardly. You are one of the most loathsome creatures I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. And I lived in hell for a time.”

He wondered if a human could explode from anger. If they could, he was sure Rogers would have gone off like a nuke by now.

“First off,” he started, ignoring the man now. “Pride. Now this one you practically embody. You are the great Captain America. The epitome of ‘good’. You can never be wrong and anyone that disagrees with you is naturally evil and a villain.”

He sneered at the man’s startled look.

“You drip with prideful arrogance and look down on anyone that doesn’t meet your standards. You rejected over a hundred countries telling you that you needed oversight because ‘the safest hands are yours’. The arrogance of that statement. The pride. I’ve heard it from many a dictator. ‘They are doing it for the good of the world, of the people.’ Tell me Rogers, did you ever ask what it was the people wanted? You say you stand up for the little guy but you haven’t been one of them in a long time. You became one of the people you used to despise so very much.

“You’re lying-”

“I never lie Rogers,” Lucifer smiled dangerously. “Never. I speak the truth and only the truth. You reject my words simply because you dislike what I’m saying.”

The human shrank in on himself a little, no doubt unconsciously hearing the truth to his words.

“Now then, onto the next one. Greed. You are never satisfied with what you have Rogers. You always want more. You had a loving mother and best friend. But you wanted the respect and adoration of others. You gained health and strength, but you wanted more fame and action. You got your dream of being a soldier but you wanted awe and to be a leader. You survived a death sentence and woke in the future. But you wanted your old life back. You had people offer their friendship and help, but you continued to crave your past. You learned of your best friend still being alive and in your greed to have your past again, you went through everyone and everything to get him back.”

Rogers seemed to be having some trouble breathing and Lucifer didn’t look away, still smiling.

“What a greedy, prideful little man,” he whispered and the soldier flinched.

Lucifer’s smile widened.

“Now then, I suppose you don’t embody lust very well. Although a case could be made for your attraction to Margaret Carter being more based on her beauty than anything else. You did barely know her after all. And then her niece who resembled her. You certainly didn’t hesitate to kiss her. Which touches on gluttony as well. You always want more. You wanted Margaret, you wanted her niece, you wanted your best friend, you wanted to be a hero, you wanted your team to bow down to your leadership. You wanted more and more and more. That hasn’t stopped either. Even now, you want forgiveness and for your crimes to be forgotten. You want your team to fall into line again. You want.”

Rogers stared at him with wide eyes.

“Sloth is another minor sin of yours. You only do what you want to. When asked to help out with the public image of the Avengers or anything that didn’t align with what you enjoyed? You refused. You enjoyed relaxing while Anthony did all the work for you.”

Rogers squirmed in place under his gaze while Lucifer rested his chin on one hand, elbow on the armrest.

“And then envy. Such a nasty little emotion, tainting every action and thought. You were so very envious of Anthony Stark, were you not? He had everything you wanted. He grew up with Howard Stark and Margaret Carter still in his life. He was rich and respected and a genius. He was confident in who he was without needing a serum to give him what he thought he lacked. Anthony relished in being perfectly human. He never wished to be more. And you envied that. You wanted that same ease in who he was. You only liked yourself when you were completely different to how you were before, after all. Even now, you envy Anthony for the world siding with him. You envy his control of the situation. You want what he has. It makes it so easy to blame him when you already dislike him for having what you don’t. Like his integrity. Lies are so… dishonourable. Despicable things that worm their way into everything until it all comes crashing down.”

He flinched at that, no doubt thinking of Siberia.

“And then wrath. Oh, how this one is a core of your personality. Something doesn’t go your way? You fall back on anger. You find yourself faced with a problem? You punch your way out. You find yourself faced with a grieving teammate in pain over a lie you told? Over a betrayal from you? You beat the shit out of him and leave him to die, claiming you were in the right because he punched first. You were so wrathful in that moment Rogers, all rage and fury over Anthony not listening, over his refusal to immediately forgive something when he was blindsided with it and forced to watch it.”

“I did what was right. I protected Bucky,” he said weakly.

“There is a difference between angelic wrath and the sin of wrath. Angelic wrath is brought down on someone out of a fury for someone else. When someone has harmed another out of nothing but cruelty and malice. Angelic wrath is supported by our mother’s will. Sinful wrath? That is all about you. You felt betrayed by Anthony’s grief-stricken refusal to listen. You wanted to protect Barnes at the expense of everyone around you. That fight was all about you and your lies. And this? This is my wrath Rogers,” his eyes glowed with anger. “I may be a demon, but I was once an angel. I was once more, an archangel above the others. This is my fury. This is my angelic wrath. Because I am doing this for Anthony and all the pain you have caused him.”

He felt his wings spread wide behind him and Rogers took a step back, terror saturating the air.

“I am your demonic karma. I am all you have to look forward to after this great battle for earth. I am all that waits for you when you die. Hell is too good for you. I will take your soul and I will make you suffer like I did with the witch.” He stepped forward, the floor hissing as his steps burned it, hellfire too close to the surface of his skin. “I will make you scream Rogers. And I will smile while I do it.”

The man was frozen.

“Who-who-what are you?” He croaked, pressed against the far wall.

Lucifer smiled wide. “I am the Devil. I am Lucifer Morningstar. And God will not save you. Not with the weight of the sins I can see staining your soul, you pathetic mortal. I am your punishment.”

The door slid open almost soundlessly as he stared down the so-called super soldier and Anthony stepped inside.

He studied the scene for a moment before speaking.

“Luci, while you know I get all hot and bothered when you go all demonic on people, did you have to burn my floor? I liked this floor.”

Lucifer turned away from the Captain, banishing him from his thoughts to smile at Anthony as the fire disappeared. With a snap of his fingers, the floor was repaired and he strode over to the inventor, wings folding out of sight.

“I was just having a friendly discussion with the Captain here,” he smiled.

Anthony raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

“The same way you were having 'friendly' talks with the rest of the Rogues?”

Lucifer’s smile widened. “I needed to test them. Surprisingly, the rest all passed. The Captain failed miserably.”

Anthony sighed. “Why are you terrorising the Rogues?”

“I needed to know who I could trust near you again Anthony,” he said like it was obvious. And it was.

The inventor’s eyes softened slightly and he moved closer.

“You can be sweet, even when you’re terrifying people,” he murmured, standing on his tip-toes to peck Lucifer on the lips.

“Tony, what have you done?” Rogers asked in a horrified voice. “That- that monster- did you make a deal with the Devil?!”

Anthony scoffed, turning a glare on Rogers. “Again, it’s my fault,” he said derisively. “You always seem to find a way to blame me, don’t you Rogers? Luci is here to stop Thanos, like all the other angels and demons here. He lives on this planet too. We’re old friends and he gets a little overprotective sometimes. You’re lucky he went easy on you. He certainly didn’t on the witch.”

Rogers only looked more horrified while Lucifer wrapped his arms around Anthony’s waist from behind and rested his chin on the human’s hair. His eyes flashed red and Rogers recoiled.

“Begone little human. And I will make good on my promise early if I see you bothering Anthony again.”

Rogers bolted, fleeing the room without a glance back.

They stood in silence as the door slid shut again.

Then Anthony’s nose wrinkled. “Eww, did you fucking make him piss himself Luci?” he asked in disbelief.

Lucifer threw his head back and laughed.

Anthony complained about needing to disinfect his lab while Lucifer kissed his way down the inventor’s throat.

There was a reason he hadn’t thrown the idiot on the couch after all.

Chapter Text

The Rogues acted like skittish kittens when Lucifer sauntered into the room to join the meeting.

Except for Scott who waved cheerily.

Tony had to hide a smile when the angels and demons in the room looked suspiciously between Lucifer and the humans. 

Lucifer, of course, looked completely innocent and smiled at them. Several Rogues shuddered and sank down in their seats.

“Right,” Tony clapped his hands to draw their attention. “It’s best that everyone knows what kind of forces we’ve got on our side before Thanos gets here.”

He gestured at Thor. “The Asgardians that survived have all volunteered to join us. Thor’s going to be leading them. Loki is joining up with the Sorcerers of Karma Taj with Doctor Strange.”

Stephen nodded in agreement. He and Loki had put their rivalry aside for now.

“We’ve got the Avengers and the Defenders working out of the Compound. The X-Men will join us soon. They’re finishing up with their final preparations. The Brotherhood of Mutants are going to be joining us as well.”

The representatives from those groups all nodded. The Rogues were clearly a little stunned by the sheer amount of people that were involved with the defense effort.

“Then we’ve got our special guests,” Tony shot a cheeky grin at the angels and demons who rolled their eyes. Most of you already know Crowley and Aziraphale.”

Crowley waved lazily while Aziraphale smiled gently at them.

“Crowley’s going to be one of our main healers on the battlefield. Aziraphale is going to be on the frontlines. Stay out of his way cause any weapon uses tends to burst into flames.”

There were some disbelieving looks sent the pair’s way. Their roles certainly didn’t match their appearances.

“Then we’ve got the angels,” Tony continued cheerfully. “Michael and Uriel are going to be in charge of them. You see a bright light on the battlefield, avoid it. If an angel gets pissed enough then they go all glowy and apparently humans don’t handle that well. There’ll be a fairly large group but they’ll be going after the flying enemies for the most part. You see one of them, duck. Amenadiel, Gabriel and Sandophalon are going to be sub-commanders of the angels.”

Gabriel still looked like he’d sucked a lemon but apparently he’d received such a tongue lashing that he was behaving. Sandophalon was equally as unhappy.

Amenadiel just looked as serene and blank as ever.

“The demons don’t come with the same glowy problem as the angels do, but they’re also a lot more likely to go through you if you get in their way. Play it safe and avoid bursts of angry-looking fire. They’ll be under Beelzebub’s command.”

The humans eyed the demon a bit warily but Beelzebub didn’t care.

“Friday is going to be directing those two groups so that they stay out of each other’s way. The demons will be on the ground more often than not and they’ll be in the thick of it. Those that take issue with demons in general, don’t take potshots at them since then you’ll deserve it when they rip your throat out.”

He smiled at the shocked looks he got. “We’re working together here people. Bias is left at the door.”

After getting nods again, Tony continued onto the last person leaning on the wall behind him.

“And then there’s Luci. He’s only paired up with Maze. Just stay out of her way in general.” he took a deep breath and just jumped into it head first. “Lucifer is going to be the heaviest hitter on the battlefield,” he ignored the shocked gasps he got. “He’s on the level of the archangels but he doesn’t have their restraint. He’s the best with hellfire and from what I know, he’s held off most of his siblings on his own before.”

Michael huffed in irritation at that.

“Luci isn’t going to attack you on the battlefield but it’s better to give him a wide berth. He’s going for Thanos himself and honestly? Get the hell out of dodge if you see him get close to the purple grape. That’s when the fireworks start.”

“You say the sweetest things Anthony,” Lucifer purred behind him and Tony had to fight the way his knees buckled. Damn, that voice.

“Also, if Iron Man goes down, get the hell out of the way. Cause Lucifer is going to rip whoever did it limb from limb,” Rhodey added casually.

Luci just smiled at them all.

“I’m sure we’ll all be able to get along splendidly,” he said silkily.

More than a few people shuddered.

“Wait, like the Lucifer?” Scott asked in shock.

“He’s adorably oblivious,” Luci noted to Tony.

“Focus,” Pepper said sharply from where she was bent over her tablet.

Tony huffed.

“Anyway, that’s everyone. Carol says we’re getting joined by a group called the Guardians of the Galaxy in a few days so be prepared for that. Other than that? Get training. This is the battle of your lives everyone. We can’t afford to lose this one. Literally half the universe is relying on us.”

There were murmurs of agreement before the meeting broke up and everyone headed their own way.

“That went well,” Lucifer said from right behind Tony and he leaned back with a hum.

“We’ll see how it goes during the actual battle.”

“Are you doubting me Anthony?”

“No. I’m doubting certain people’s ability to put the world above their own prejudices.”

Lucifer paused. “You think the good Captain would attack me during the battle?”

“Or Crowley,” Tony admitted. “You guys offend his delicate sensibilities and he’d justify it to himself.”

“Hmm,” Lucifer rested his chin on Tony’s head. “Well, his cute little metal disc can hardly hurt me. And Crowley is more powerful than people think. But I’ll tell Maze to keep an eye on him.”

He paused.

“And I can assure you that Michael and Uriel will be watching out for Crowley as well. They might not admit it, but they will.”

“You guys ever going to tell Gabriel?”

“No,” he answered shortly. “His grudge against Crowley is too great.”

Tony stared out the window. They were keeping two Infinity Stones (three if they counted the one Loki was hiding), at the compound. Practically a beacon to Thanos to draw him straight to the Compound.

They could do this.

They had to.