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The first time it happens, Peter thinks it's odd, sure, but it's New York and it's Neal Caffrey. He almost expects it, in a sad sort of way. That's probably what makes it even worse.
“Oh my god, can I get a picture with you?!” The girl had squeaked, frantically giving her phone to the man with her, practically grabbing for Neal's arm who froze before giving an award winning smile.
“Of course!” Neal had spoken, voice full of charm and a giant smile plastered to his face, throwing up a peace sign as the girl squeaked again. Poor girl was probably someone he conned into thinking was famous or something because both Peter and the girl's companion male looked at each other in confusion, as if to say who does she think he is?
“Thank you so much, I’ll treasure it forever!” The girl declares when she takes her phone back, looking at the picture with literal heart eyes. The man with her rolls his eyes, seemingly offended he’d been practically forgotten.
“Anytime!” Neal shot another grin, teeth and all on show as the girl dramatically fanned her face, her male friend pulling her away as she flew into a rapid pace, verbally expelling all her feelings as the two left, the girl turning every few steps to stare back at Neal who chuckled to himself. Peter was confused but not surprised, which he hated.
“Who did she think you were?” He finally asked, when the two turned back on their way to the Office. Neal shrugged.
“Who knows but who am I to deny a fan?” He spoke, almost as though he did know and was just being a withholding little shit on purpose. Peter sighed, he wasn’t going to get anything more out of his CI.
“Did you con her? She seemed sweet. Thought you were the next Arnold Schwarzenegger or something.”
“Nah. Course not. Who do you take me for? A criminal?” Neal cheekily nudged Peter, wiggling his eyebrows. Peter let out another sigh. Why was this his life?
The second time Peter took a little bit longer to think about what was happening. Once was just a fluke but twice? This time it was two males, maybe around Neal’s age.
“Oh fuck, man, what are you doing in New York? Last I heard you were in Bolivia!” One was very visibly excited, the other giving a fond eye roll at his boyfriend.
“No way, I heard he was in Russia, didn’t you see the photos on his Instagram?”
“Wait what? I missed them?” The shorter of the two eagerly pulled out his phone to check.
“Can we get a photo with you please, please, please?” The taller asked while his boyfriend was occupied.
“Sure thing!” Neal offered, the phone passed to Peter who took the photo but held a suspicious look to his face the entire time. Who did all these people think Neal was. Did he look familiar to a celebrity Peter had never heard of? Or was he back on the long game of conning people, under some fake alias?
“And I’m just here to see the sights, y’know, it’s super pretty here, lots of lights!” Neal replied, sounding a little dopey, an odd accent to his tone. Peter could only stare. What? What was Neal doing? Where was his usually sharp and sarcastic CI? The man in front of him seemed naïve and a little lacking in the braincells department.
“I guess it beats home, more light at least.” One joked, the other chuffed, trying to restrain his own laugh.
“Oh for sure.”
“It was great meeting you, Richie!” The shorter smiled, instantly setting the photo to his lock screen while the taller gave a nod in agreement. Peter could only mouth ‘Richie’ to himself. The two departed with waves and matching smiles, hands intertwined.
“Richie? Who do they think you are, Neal? Do you look like a celebrity or something?”
“Or something.” Neal replied mysteriously, Peter could only blink and then move to watch up to Neal who’d set off walking without him.
“No, Neal. Tell me who these people think you are.”
“I don’t know Peter, I swear!” Neal retorted, hands raised in surrender. Peter didn’t buy it for one second.
w
The third time, Peter was done. His patience was all but dried out. Neal was hiding something and he refused to give up until he found out exactly what was happening and who all these people thought his CI was.
“I saw someone posted they met you last week and I booked a flight over from Florida the next morning! I’ve been walking around every day trying to meet you! Please. I love you so much. Will you marry me?” The girl asked and Peter wouldn’t lie, he dropped his coffee. Was this girl serious? He blinked and turned to Neal, expected his CI to be equally freaked out and shocked but the other man only gave a warm smile and a nod.
“Thank you so much for finding me!” He beamed, the same odd tone to his voice as last time, the girl brightened at the praise. “I’m honoured you went that far.” Neal continued, and Peter could only watch as his CI dealt with the situation so smoothly for a stalker girl who admitted she’d flown across the country to propose, having never met his CI in person before.
“However, I’ll have to decline. My Dad’s old-fashioned, B would probably want you to ask his permission first.” Neal added, and Peter wasn’t sure but it almost felt like Neal was laughing at that inside, as though there was some inside joke Peter didn’t know.
“Oh! Of course! I’m so sorry Richie, I’ll ask Brucie! Let me- Let me uh- I need a cab! Right now! I’m going to go ask, I’ll be back my love!” And the girl turned and began chasing after a cab. It was… eye opening. Peter could only blankly stare. Wow. New York was weird.
“That was something huh.” Neal could only turn and give him a shit eating grin. He was counting on getting the video footage sent his way by Babs when the girl finally found her way to Bruce.
“What the hell.” Peter whispered, mostly to himself, as the girl finally grabbed a cab, turned and blew a big dramatic kiss and then climbed into the car.
Neal gave her a wave back and pretended to catch the kiss with a melodramatic swoon and Peter could only let out a choked noise at the scene unfolding.
When the cab went out of sight, Neal burst into giggles and gave Peter a look of disbelief.
"New York is hilarious." Was all his CI said on the matter, falling back into step, Peter stumbling after him, dropped coffee long forgotten in an attempt to gain answers.
Spoiler: he got none.
The fourth time was different.
“We’re not here to hurt you, I’m with the FBI.” Peter tried to gently coax, offering his badge that only had the girl flinch harder, back into the grimy alley. She bared her teeth as if to offer a feral snarl, teeth crooked and some sharpened to a point that had Peter furrowed his brows.
“Sta' back!” She hissed, accent familiar. Peter froze mid-step, offering his palms in surrender, not wanting to spook the clearly homeless kid.
“Le’ me go. I don’ wan’ no trouble.” She added, it was only then that Peter saw the small blade she was clutching, equally as grimy as her. He didn’t fancy being stabbed by what was a walking disease stick.
“Hey now, put that down, I promise I’m not going to hurt you.” Peter tried, still not moving but eyeing the knife carefully.
“I don’ belie' ya. All ya cops a’ tha’ same.” She narrowed her eyes, not backing down despite being cornered into the alley.
“I promise. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You don’t look old enough to be by yourself.” Peter compromised, the girl couldn’t be older than ten at most.
“I can ta’ care o’ me'self.” She snapped angrily, brandishing the knife higher, it was only then that Peter caught sight of the dried flecks of blood, brown from the passage of time.
“Peter, step back.” Neal offered from where he’d been staying out of sight. The girl instantly snapped her gaze to his CI, eyes softening only slightly, knife lowering, recognizing his accent. Ah, that was why her accent was familiar.
“What’s your name?” Neal asked, his accent slipping from that of a New Yorkian to one not that dissimilar to the girls, albeit more fluent in his words. The accent he'd heard before when they'd run into the pair of men or the stalker lady.
“Dun kno’.” She offered with a shrug. Peter’s eyes widened, the girl dropped the knife and took a hesitant step towards his CI who seemed to instantly be doing better in his attempt to calm the girl.
“Ah. Where are you from?”
“Crown Point.”
“Bowery?"
The girl nodded, taking another step, and another.
"Why ya wi'h a cop?" She asked, now beside Neal, eagerly clinging to his leg while glaring at Peter.
"He's my friend. I promise he's good."
"Cops a' all dir'y."
"Hmm. I pinky promise, I trust him." Neal offered his pinky, the kid gladly offering her own.
"Now, what are you doing all the way out here, you're a long way from home, Miss." Neal asked, squatting down beside the kid, Peter watching on, confused but silent as the girl sat beside him on the dirty alley floor.
“Traff’kers.” A pause. “They snatch’d me up, I escaped. Be’ ‘ere weeks.”
“Weeks? Have you anyone to get back to?” Neal asked carefully.
“Nah. Only tha’ other kids. Papa Hood’ll look afta’ ‘em.” She spoke with so much faith that Neal could only offer a blinding smile. They all knew Jason had a soft spot for the street kids. Apparently this one had been looking after others, likely younger kids.
“Yeah, he will.”
“Ya a heights man. I saw Papa Hood laugh a’ ya once. On a TV.”
“He laughed at me? Why?” Neal exclaimed, suddenly seemingly offended. Peter couldn’t keep up, attempting to find a way to interrupt but he was distracted by the spectacle of Neal talking down a scary kid with a knife and then somehow befriending said kid.
“Said ya was a fool.”
“I-” Neal pouted. “I am not! How dare he.” He gave a whine that had Peter cough to interrupt, beyond baffled at how Neal had gone from serious and cautious to playful and childish.
“Oh uh- sorry Peter. I… can take care of this one if you want?”
“What? I’m not leaving you alone, the kid threatened to stab us.”
“Stab you. Little Miss wouldn’t stab me. Besides I didn’t mean leave us alone, I meant I’ll take care of her. Permanently. No need to involve social services.” Neal responded. Peter scoffed.
“Haha, very funny... Wait, you’re not joking?” Was his question when Neal said nothing, the girl offering a hopeful look, one arm wrapping around Neals.
“Ya, Mista. Le'me stay wi’h ‘im.” She begged.
“What? Neal you’re- you can’t-” Peter spluttered.
“Don’t think there’s any rules about adopting kids in my anklet terms.” Neal snarked.
“You- That’s kidnapping- It’s- there’s legal routes-”
“Kid, you don’t have a home right?” A nod. “No parents?” Another nod. “And you’d rather stay with me then go into the system?” A third nod.
“See. What's the problem, Peter, just forget this whole thing happened?”
“Forg- Neal!” Peter raised his voice.
“Look, Peter, Gothamites don’t go into the system and come out.. Well , as law abiding. Everything is a front, a drug cartel looking for runners, a training ground for young offenders, trafficking rings, you name it. The streets are better in the eyes of nearly every kid. I can’t let her go into the system and I can’t let her stay on the streets here.” Neal began to explain.
“Gotham!?”
“Where did you think the accent was from?” Neal shot an unimpressed look.
“You’re both from Gotham?”
“Not from there, but I grew up there, yes.” Neal offered with a sigh. “It’s my home.”
“But-”
“Please, Peter. The system here would chew up a Gothamite, and the system back home is a death sentence.”
“Neal… I want to, but I can’t.”
“Please.” The girl begged, her first words directed to Peter that weren’t in defence or threats. Peter gave another long sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Fine.”
“Yay!” Neal gave a dramatic exclamation, offering the girl a hi-five which she hesitantly returned.
“We need you a name!” Neal finally decided, as if gaining a sudden slightly illegal ward was like naming a baby.
“Uh-” The girl shrugged.
“Don’t you have any in particular you like? What do the other kids call you?”
“Boss.” She smugly replied, Neal laughed, standing up, picking up the girl to rest her on his hip as he did.
“Sounds about right. You certainly remind me of my brother.”
The distant choked noise from Peter about a brother was ignored, in favour of the girl humming a little.
“He was a Narrows kid, was good at looking after the others too.” Neal told her, watching her eyes widen.
“Like Papa Hood?”
“Exactly, only a lot smaller. His name’s Jason.”
“Jason… I like it, can I have that?” Boss seemed to get a nostalgic look at the name that Dick didn't question, mixed with a sense of eagerness to claim it as her own.
“What about... Jayce?” Neal countered since Jason wasn't exactly a gender neutral name sadly.
“I love it.” The girl beamed, crooked teeth on show in a less threatening manner.
“Neal. I- I expect to be able to check in every couple of days. If- If I don’t think you’re doing a good job- I’ll have to call social services. That’s the best I can give you.” Peter interpreted, unsure why he’d surrendered and agreed to break the law when his job was the law. Something about how right Neal looked with the child. It just felt right.
“Sure Peter. That’s fine with us, right, Jayce?”
“Fine.” She dejectedly responded.
“Do you know how old you are?” Neal asked, the trio finally leaving the alley.
“Take the day off.” Peter quietly ordered, Neal shot him a grateful look, before his partner turned and left him with Jayce.
“Nine?” Jayce sounded unsure. Neal hummed.
“M’kay. Nine sounds about right.”
"My names Dick by the way." Earned him a giggle from the child.
The two were silent for the rest of the journey back to his apartment at June’s.
“I’m just gonna make a call, if you wanna grab a bath? And then I’ll fix us lunch?”
Jayce nodded and scurried away to the bathroom. Dick found the smallest set of clothes he owned, knowing they'd dwarf the girl but they'd have to do until he could get some things bought for her. He grabbed his phone and moved closer to the window.
The call connected after just two rings.
“Dick? Are you okay?” Bruce asked, not often receiving a call from his eldest.
Dick, the dramatic shit he was, decided he couldn’t do things normally.
“Congratulations, it’s a girl!”
“Dick?”
“So, B, I… might have adopted your first grandchild in a less than legal manner.” Dick offered smugly, faintly able to hear the running water in the bathroom.
“Grand...child?” Bruce sounded both confused and in shock.
“Is that Dickwad?” A voice yelled in the background. Dick felt his eyebrows rise. Jason was in the manor and wasn’t attempting to throttle Bruce?
“Yes Jason.” Bruce’s curt reply was.
“Hi Dickwad when ya' coming back?” Was the yell that made Dick pull his phone away from his ear temporarily.
“Uh. Shouldn’t be too long.”
“What’s this about a grandchild?” Bruce asked, more frantic.
“Oh. Yeah. Found a girl today, Bowery kid. Got nabbed by Traffickers and escaped, she’s been stuck in New York for a few weeks on the streets. I couldn’t let her go into the system B, not a Gothamite. She’s nine.”
“You-”
“Guys we have a Niece!” Was Jason's holler, a few voices perked up.
“What, I thought Grayson was on a job?” Obviously Damian.
“A niece? Hell yeah!” Dick assumed that was Steph.
“Steph no stop plotting-” Ah, and there was Tim.
“Do you want me to sort the paperwork, Chum?” Bruce asked, resigned to the antics of his kids.
“Please. I got Peter to agree but having some legal paperwork might be best.”
“What's her name?” Steph yelled as Bruce grumbled, putting the call onto speaker.
“Uh, it’s Jayce. She picked it herself.”
“Picked it?” Duke finally chimed in.
“Didn’t have one.”
“And she just coincidentally picked a name like Todd?” Damian huffed.
“Well uh…. Funny you should mention that…”
“What did you do?” Tim sighed.
“Maybe I told her I had a brother?”
“Why would you tell her about Todd? I’m the blood son!” Damian blurted and Steph gave a full and loud laugh.
“Little D is jealous!” She sung.
“You- She- Me?” Jason struggled with his words, as Steph and Tim made coo’ing noises to tease him.
“She's a big fan of you Hood too, by all accounts." Dick relayed and heard another splutter from his little brother. Awh. He was enjoying this.
"Is tha' Papa Hood?" Jayce asked, having silently appeared in the doorway, hair wet and clothes baggy on her person but cleaner than she'd looked the whole time. Dick nodded.
"Ya' kno' 'im?" She asked excitedly and Dick gave another nod, because this girl had already wormed into his heart so quickly, he was keeping her and if he was keeping her she needed to know the family secret, he wasn't going to keep her in the dark. That wasn't how family worked, it was built on trust and honesty.
"He's my brother, the one I told you about." Dick answered, hand over his phone to muffle his words while the rest of his siblings were still freaking out and arguing over the addition of a niece to their family, Bruce probably already looking at the CCTV footage for the street and writing up copies of legal documents for the kid.
"Jason?" The girl sounded even more elated to know she'd taken up a name based on that of the only adult who'd looked out for her so far, besides Dick now, of course.
"Yeah, here, I'll pass you over, but be wary, my brothers and sisters are very chaotic." Dick smiled, handing over the phone, having put it onto speaker phone.
"Hullo?" Jayce asked cautiously, flinching slightly at the sudden mixture of voices that flooded the device.
"Omgoosh hello you sound adorable, I'm your honorary aunt and we are going to have so much fun! I'm Steph!"
"Tt, Grayson can't just pass us off onto a child without warning."
"Hello." Oh Cass was there too.
"Hey. I guess I'm your Uncle Duke?"
Oh wow, the whole gang was there then.
"I'm Tim, nice to meet you. Dick you'll bring her over right? I can help you slip the anklet?"
"Or we could all go there, you can't keep rejecting sleep, Baby Bird." Jason added before he spoke to Jayce. "I'm Jason."
"Papa Hood!" Jayce sounded excited and the noise from Jason was so worth it.
"Wow, he already told her, it's a wonder he still has a secret identity." Steph chortled while Jason floundered.
"Boss?" Jason asked and Jayce squeaked.
"Ya' remem' me!"
"Of course, I remember everyone, the other kids didn't know where you'd gone, I tried looking but all I got was dead ends."
"I'm ok now. Ya brother helped me, tha' one ya laugh'dat." Jason gave a snort at that. Jayce giggled too, a sound Dick decided he would die to protect. Wow he was falling hard.
"Which I'm so offended at, Lil' Wing." Dick butted in earning a laugh from a couple of his siblings, Tim and Jason.
"Yeah well, Richie is ridiculous."
"He really is."
"Not my fault!"
"Totally is."
"Hey!" Steph interrupted. "Stop fighting, I wanna talk to Jayce more!"
"Well if Jason won't lemme work on your anklet, I guess we're all coming over?"
"I have the day off so sure."
"Yay, family Road trip!" Steph chimed and Dick could feel the glare from Damian even through the phone.
"We'll clearly be taking the Zeta's." Damian corrected and Steph whined.
"See you soon." Cass murmured and Dick smiled. He hadn't been able to see the whole family together in a long while, while in his undercover job, it'd be nice to see them all together, and to see Bruce again.
"We'll be there in an hour or so, Chum."
"Do you need anything bringing?" Jason asked, ever the smart one, who knew Dick didn't have anything in his flat to cater to the sudden child he'd obtained, be it clothes or a bed or well, anything really.
"Shopping trip?" Duke suggested.
"We could go in New York, I bet everything is way brighter." Steph helpfully added, having never visited the big city.
"Sounds like a plan." Jason agreed.
"We'll see you soon then!"
"Bye everyone." Dick smiled fondly and Jayce nodded.
"Bye." She quietly added earning a coo from Steph before the call properly ended.
God, Dick's siblings were 100% a chaotic mess but he wouldn't change them for the world.
"Right, let's get your hair dried so you don't catch a cold." Dick smiled, launching his phone at the sofa and picking up Jayce who snuggled up under his head.
"Mkay." She responded, a little bit of tiredness seeping into her tone. Dick thought it was probably best he dry her hair and let her nap because once his chaotic family arrived he doubted she'd be able to get much rest in. It was relaxing, drying her hair while she relaxed from where she sat in front of him before he tied the whole thing up in a nice braid.
"Do you fancy a nap before they get here? They're very loud." Dick explained and Jayce nodded. "Kay." Dick nodded, picking her up to carry her to his own bed. It'd have to do for now.
"Night." She mumbled, already half asleep when Dick tucked her in.
"Night." Dick mumbled in reply. Gosh he was already so weak for her, he'd turned into a complete mother hen in an instant. Jason would never let him live this down.
Was he turning into Bruce? Dick froze in panic.
Oh god no, where would he fit all the children?!