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“A new gun?”
“He only likes to use his Smith and Wesson.”
“A bottle of booze?”
“We got that for him for Christmas.”
“A freaking prostitute?”
“He has us, Lupin.”
Lupin threw up his hands and let out a growl of frustration. “Graaaaah! Why does Jigen have to make buying gifts for him so damn hard?”
It was a lovely morning and Lupin and Goemon were spending it roaming a mall without a single clue as to which store to shop in. Jigen’s birthday was only a few days away and neither of them had bought the gunman a gift. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to—they wanted nothing more than to give their gallant gunman a gift—it was just that they had no clue what to buy. Jigen wasn’t a materialistic person; he liked what he had and he used what he had until he couldn’t use it anymore. What was worse was that Lupin and Goemon had used all their original ideas on previous birthdays, including Goemon’s traditional home-cooked meal idea and Lupin’s strip tease routine. This year they were all out of ideas and it frustrated them to no end.
“You know, Lupin, I bet if Jigen were here, he’d tell us just to treat him to drinks for his birthday.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right, but there’s nothing special about that.” Lupin stuffed his hands in his pockets and sighed. “For thieves like us, birthdays are supposed to be extra special. They’re reminders that we’re still alive despite everything and that we should enjoy the time we have.” Lupin stopped at the window of a lingerie store. He pointed to a skinny, lacy, black thong. “Oh, what about this?”
“As gag gift?” Goemon asked, confused.
“For you to wear,” Lupin snickered. “I’ll buy one in red. We’ll tie some nice bows to our necks and give ourselves to Jigen for his birthday.”
“You know the sad thing is that you and Jigen already gave me a lingerie set that came with panties just like those.”
“Great! That means we’ll just need to buy a pair for me and we’ll be set.”
Goemon rolled his eyes and kept walking. “I thought you said you wanted his gift to be special.”
Lupin huffed and jogged to Goemon’s side. “I know what I said, but think about it. Jigen likes three things; guns, booze, and sex with us. We can’t buy him a gun since he only likes to use his own. We can’t buy him booze because that’s too easy. That leaves doing something sexy for him.”
“Lupin, need I remind you of what we attempted to do Wednesday night?” The samurai narrowed his eyes at the thief. “Or do I need to show you the scorch marks on the bed post again?”
Lupin looked away and tapped the tips of his fingers together. “Wax play seemed like a fun idea at the time…”
“Regardless, I think Jigen has had his fill of experimental adult fun for a while. We should focus on getting him something sentimental.”
The thief gave an indignant ‘hmph’ and stuck his chin in the air. “Alright, if you’re such a gift giving expert, what do you suggest we give him?”
Goemon thought hard. He scanned the many shops around them until his eyes fell on a window display in the corner. “There,” he said, pointing.
Lupin looked and his face lit up. “Hey, yeah! That’s a great idea, Goemon!”
……
“Happy birthday, Jigen!”
The gunman was startled awake by the unified cheers of his partners, and by the weight of something dropping onto his chest.
“Jeez, give a guy a heart attack, why don’t ya…” Jigen groaned, sitting up. He watched as the wrapped box tumbled from his chest to his lap. “You know, you guys didn’t have to get me a present.”
Lupin and Goemon joined Jigen on the couch, each sitting on one side of the gunman.
“We know, but we wanted to.” Lupin grinned and winked. “Plus, I think you’ll love this year’s gift. Goemon really outdid himself with this idea, even I’m a little jealous that I didn’t think of it first.”
“I came up with the idea, but we both helped make it special,” Goemon said, smiling proudly.
Jigen cocked an intrigued eyebrow at his partners then looked at the present. It was small package wrapped in blue paper and topped with a green bow. It was too small to be a bottle of booze and too short to be a gun or a flask. Jigen removed the bow and ripped off the wrapping paper, revealing a tiny dark blue cardboard box. He took off the lid and was admittedly surprised by what was inside.
“A watch?”
It was a small wristwatch with leather straps. Jigen pulled it out to get a better look. The leather straps were decorating with knotwork patterns and the clock was made with stainless steel and had reinforced glass. It was clearly a good quality watch but certainly not the luxury kind.
“Okay, I’ll bite. What’s the catch?” Jigen asked. “Not that I’m ungrateful, it’s a nice watch and all, but you guys made it sound like this would be the king of watches or something.”
“Look on the back, Ji-ji.”
Jigen flipped the watch over. There was an engraved message on the back.
To our gallant gunman Daisuke Jigen,
Time is a precious thing and there’s never enough of it, so let’s make sure we treasure every moment we have together.
Yours forever and always, Arsène Lupin III and Goemon Ishikawa XIII
Jigen covered his mouth, unable to fight back his smile. His struggle made his partners smile even more.
“You sappy idiots,” Jigen said, his happiness evident in his voice despite his effort. “You two can be so sickeningly sweet, you know that?”
“Heeheehee! Aw, Go-go~ I think Jigen likes his gift,” Lupin snickered, pulling the gunman into a tight hug.
“That or he’s about to vomit from how saccharine this all is.” Goemon playfully fell over sideways and snuggled up against Jigen’s other side. “He’s nauseated from all the love we’re giving him.”
“Uuuugh, I can feel the diabetes setting in,” Jigen grumbled.
Lupin knocked Jigen’s hat away and kissed his temple. “Happy birthday, Ji-ji. We love you.”
“Aaauuurgh! I’m gonna need fucking insulin after this!”
Despite all the mock complaining Jigen made that day, Lupin and Goemon never saw the gunman go anywhere without that watch since.