Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Alright, Crystals! It’s a straight shot from here to the Seashell Kingdom. We’ll be there before sunrise!” Ruby grinned at her cohort, before turning to look down the long canyon. The stony walls were steep and rapidly darkening, but at the end of the tunnel, the pink sun was setting over the silhouette of their destination- the palace of the Seashell Queen, rightful owner of their prized parcel. Ruby put her hand over her satchel- yep. The tiara was still there.

“I dunno- think we’d better take a break now,” Sapphire said, eyes peering out nervously from behind her thick spectacles.

“Don’t be a coward, Saph.” Emerald nudged her with her hip. “We’ll be able to sleep a lot better in the guest room off the Seashell Palace, right?”

“Well, sure, but the canyon is a bit… dangerous at night, isn’t it?” Saphire muttered. “We might run into a wild dog, or a tarantula, or-“

She was cut off by the thud of heavy paws. A shadow loomed over Ruby.

“Or what?” she asked, oblivious.

The creature behind her grinned, human face splitting open to reveal dozens of sharp feline teeth. “A sphinx.”

“Out of the way!” Gem pulled her legs close to her body. Moments later, her cousins stampeded past her, screaming at the top of their lungs. Dust flurried into the air, and she clutched her book close to her chest, the cheap paper cover crinkling a bit, but protecting the precious pages. She glowered after the boys. Even as they ran down the hill, their excited shrieking rang loud and clear through the summer air. Gem hunched her shoulders up as far as she could go, and kept reading.

Slowly, Ruby turned to face the half woman, half lion, stumbling backwards. “Hello, ma’am,” she said, a false friendly smile plastered across her face. “How can we help you?”

“You could salt and pepper yourselves, for one,” the sphinx drawled. “Or stuff yourselves with carrots and onions. I’m not picky.”

“No way are we doing that!” Emerald shouted. She drew her staff, green crystal glowing with magic. “Surrender to the power of the Great Crystal!” She rushed towards the sphinx, but before she could fire off a single spell, the creature batted her aside with one great paw, sending her to the floor and her staff flying.

“Emmy!” Ruby shouted. Emerald reached out a hand toward her staff, but the sphinx pinned her down easily. Ruby reached for her own staff, the crystal glowing red.

“Uh uh uh,” said the sphinx, unsheathing her claws. “I don’t think you want to fight me. Don’t you know cats play with their food?”

“Wait!” Sapphire hadn’t reached for her staff. Instead, she brandished a thick, leather-bound book, open to an illustration of the creature they faced. “It says here a sphinx has to ask anyone it wants to eat a riddle. If we answer correctly, you have to let Emmy go.”

The sphinx snarled. “Fine. But she has to answer, not either of you.” 

Ruby nodded, lowering her staff. “Ask away.”

The sphinx lay down, careful not to crush or release her prey. “Hm, let’s see… what runs but never walks, has a mouth, but never eats, and has a bed, but never sleeps?”

Gem, of course, knew the answer. She’d known the answer was “a river” the first time she read the series, and she sure hadn’t forgotten five rereads later. But she also knew Emerald didn’t know the answer- only Sapphire and Ruby could figure it out. The real challenge of the sphinx’s puzzle was trying to communicate the answer to Emerald without her knowing. 

Gem leaned back, staring into the upper boughs of the tree she leaned against. She knew the Crystal Crew better than any of her classmates or cousins, but she didn’t mind. Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald were smart, brave, and never let anyone else tell them what they could or couldn’t do. But most of all, she admired how they stuck together. It didn’t matter that Ruby often said the wrong things, or Sapphire could be a know-it-all, or Emerald tried to solve problems with her fists. They were best friends until the end. 

That was how Gem decided she was going to be a wizard one day- the best wizard ever. She’d invent new spells, save the world, and maybe, if she was lucky, make friends with her own Crystal Crew. For now, though, she would just imagine she was a wizard with her own magic staff (hers would be purple), her own special spells (written all by herself, of course), and her own Crystal Crew name. Gem. Maybe it wasn’t the most creative, but she liked it. It felt like it fit. Better than her boy name, at least. 

Suddenly, a small body knocked painfully into Gem’s shoulder. “Hey! Ow!” she yelped, slamming her book closed before the intruder could damage it.

“Why aren’t you playing with us?” one of Gem’s cousins demanded.

“I’m reading. Go away Michael,” Gem muttered. 

Michael did not go away. Instead, he made a blind grab for her book, tugging at the cover. Gem released it before he could rip it, then regretted it. Her cousins could do a lot worse to a book than tear it a little if she let them have it.

“Ruby Rhinestone and the Great Tiara Heist?” he scoffed, reading the faded print of the cover. “Why are you reading a girl book, Theo?”

“It’s not a girl book. The Crystal Crew series is for everyone- except maybe losers who can’t read,” Gem snapped, a little bit harsher than she intended. She made a snatch for the book, but Michael held it out of the way. 

“You didn’t answer his question,” another cousin, Danny, pointed out, hands folded behind his back. “Why aren’t you playing with us?”

“I don’t wanna.”

“Come on, we’re looking for frogs. It’ll be fun!”

Gem bit her lip. “Do I have to?”

“What do you mean, do you have to? We’re not even allowed to catch frogs,” Danny laughed. “We’re doing it ‘cause it’s fun .”

“What are you worried about? Scared of a little mud?” Micheal asked, a mean grin on his face. 

“… No,” Gem said slowly. She was rapidly beginning to fear for her book’s safety. She stood up, hoping her superior height would scare off the older boys. “Give me back my book, and leave me alone.”

“But don’t you want to meet Brownie?” Danny said with an irritating grin. He held out his cupped hands. They were caked in mud.

Gem stepped back, pressing against the tree. “No. Nope. Nope. No thanks!” she squeaked. 

Danny, unperturbed, opened his hands. A big brown toad sat inside like a handful of thick, lumpy mud. It sat in a suspicious puddle- didn’t toads pee on people when they were picked up?- blinking its dingy golden eyes.

“Oh,” Gem said. Her eyes locked onto the toad, stomach twisting a little. “That’s. Nice. Can I have my book back?”

Danny extended his hand towards Gem, and the frog leapt . 

It landed in Gem’s pocket with an audible plop. “Agh!” Gem shrieked. “Get it off, get it-“ she batted at the toad with her hand, unwilling to actually touch the thing. It was already soaking her pocket with its toad fluids, she was sure, and she didn’t want to get them anywhere else.

“Aw, he wants to be friends,” Michael sneered. Gem finally managed to slap her pocket enough for the toad to leap out, tumbling to the dusty ground and making a hasty escape into the grass. “Aw, man. You let him get away.”

Gem snatched back her book, hardly even caring as the cover ripped. “Uncle Elmer!” she screamed, sprinting away from the two boys. Gem had hidden under a tree in the back of the yard, with her cousins all playing by the river, but all the grownups were gathered back by the house, talking about whatever grownups talked about. She singled out Uncle Elmer- the father of the two cousins who had interrupted her- and grabbed his sleeve, tugging hard until he abandoned his beer and brothers.

“Ugh, what is it, Theo?” he growled, looking like he’d rather be getting his teeth extracted than have to deal with her.

“Michael and Danny stole my book, and they caught a toad too!” Gem shouted, arms stretched wide in dismay. 

Uncle Elmer crossed his arms. “So?”

“So, it’s not allowed! Tell them to be nice to me! It jumped on me and everything! The toad,” Gem clarified.

“Why don’t you tell them that,” he drawled, already turning back to his beer bottle.

“I did, after! But they still bothered me in the first place! And now my book is ripped and my shirt is all gross.”

Uncle Elmer just laughed. “Aw, Theo, you take things too personally.” He patted her on the head like a dog, and Gem fumed. “Next time, just tell them to stop, and quit being such a girl about everything.”

Gem was still thinking about what he’d said hours later, when the sun had set and her extended family were (thankfully) long gone. She curled up under thick blankets, only her head poking out into the cold night air. “Mom?”

Her mom paused in the doorway, starkly illuminated by the light from the hall. “What is it, Theo?”

“At the family gathering, Uncle Elmer told me not to be such a girl. What does that mean?”

Gem’s mom sighed, stepping back into her room and sitting at the foot of her bed. “Oh, Theo, you know your Uncle Elmer is a little…”

“Mean?” Gem supplied.

“Well, I wasn’t going to say that,” her mom chuckled. “But he thinks that just because you don’t make trouble and like to read, that it makes you a girl. But you don’t have to listen to him. You’ll always be my little boy.” She leaned over, nearly crushing Gem as she kissed her on the forehead.

“But why?” Gem asked. 

“Why what, dear?”

“Why will I always be a boy? I don’t act like any of the other boys I know. They all say so.”

“Well-“ Gem’s mom cut off, thinking. “It’s true, you are a little different. But there’s still certain differences between boys and girls. Besides how they act.”

“Like what?” Gem asked.

“Well, their bodies are formed differently,” her mom said.

“How?”

“Um.” Gem sat up, peering at her mom. She seemed embarrassed. “Well, girls have rounder faces, usually, and are smaller. When you’re older, you’ll get a beard and a low voice, and girls won’t. You’ll learn more when you’re older.”

“Oh.” Gem crinkled her nose. Her dad’s beard always scratched her when he kissed her. She hoped she was a mutant, and wouldn’t grow a beard. “Why does me being tall mean I have to like mud?”

“It doesn’t, love, Uncle Elmer was wrong,” her mom sighed. “Goodnight, Theo.”

“Goodnight,” Gem sighed. “But if there are differences between boys and girls why can’t I-“

“Goodnight, Theo,” her mom repeated from the doorway, and closed it behind her. The light abruptly cut out, leaving the room completely dark except for the glowing purple crystal Gem had made for a night light. 

Why can’t I be Gem anyway , her mind finished.

Gem rolled over, staring at the far wall. Her mother’s voice drifted down the hall, anxious and not entirely muffled by the thick wooden door. Gem trusted her mom, but… the things she said didn’t make sense. She had said that Uncle Elmer was wrong, that her being quiet and smart didn’t make her a girl, but if that didn’t, why would a deeper voice make her a boy? At least Gem had some degree of control over how she acted. She couldn’t pick her body.

Besides, it wasn’t exactly right. Boys and girls did act differently, because people told them to. When Gem wanted to wear her mom’s jewelry, or learn to dance, her parents told her she couldn’t. Was that because of her body too? Gem huffed. She couldn’t read the books she liked, she couldn’t hate dirt- she couldn’t even just be left alone, just because of how she was born. That wasn’t fair- right? Was it? 

No, she decided. No, it wasn’t. If hair color, height, and other physical traits didn’t mean people had to act a certain way, then whether she was a boy or a girl shouldn’t either. In the darkness of her room, Gem made a promise to herself. If her body was what made her a boy, what made it so hard to be herself, then she would be a wizard, like the Crystal Crew, and use magic to solve her problems. She would transform herself into a girl.

Chapter Text

“Hello, ma’am!” Gem stood on her tip-toes, peering over the edge of the library’s front desk. “Is this the Magical Research Department library?”

“Um, yes?” The librarian was a portly lady with brown hair just starting to go gray, and she looked quite confused to see someone under the age of thirty at her desk. “Are you looking for your parents, love?”

“No, I want to check out some books, please,” Gem said. “Can you help me find the books on trans-mog-rit-ave theory?” she sounded out carefully.

“I’m afraid we don’t have any books for children,” the librarian said. “This is a university library. Everything here is for wizards-in-training. If you’d like some recommendations, though, you could-“

“I know where I am,” Gem said. The librarian’s purple-painted mouth hung open. “Sorry,” she added, realizing too late she’d interrupted. “But I don’t want kids’ books. I want grown up books, with real theory. Can you tell me where they are?”

“Well-“ The librarian peered behind Gem as a student trotted up, arms laden with at least half a dozen thick textbooks. “Yes. Yes I can. Second floor, row C- that’s the third one from the back. If you get lost, you can ask a student for help, if they don’t look like they’re studying or in a hurry.”

“Thank you, ma’am!” Gem said brightly.

“Good luck,” the librarian said vacantly. As Gem set off towards the grand stairs, she could have sworn she heard the woman mutter “what are the kids up to these days?”

The stairs of the library were made of smooth, tan stone, with dark wood banisters. Gem clung to them like a lifeline, dragging herself up stairs meant for longer legs than hers before giving up and crawling to the second floor. A group of college girls gasped as she crawled by, leaping aside with a clatter of high-heels. She lifted a hand to wave to them as she hurried past.

Finally, Gem reached the second floor. She stood up, dusting off her trousers. Row C was easy enough to find- Gem was pleased to find that the imposing shelves of books were well labeled. She picked out the big orange label for the books on transmogrification and got to reading the titles. Water into Wine: Transmogrification as Food Production - nope. She needed books about transmogrifying people. A History of Transmogrification as Medicine in the Crystal Cliffs - maybe. Did turning boys into girls count as medicine? Gem pulled the hefty book off the shelf just in case. It must have weighed half as much as she did. She found a few more books- one on reversing transmogrification spells, and a few on recent advancements in the field. Nearly everything else was about transmogrifying objects.

Gem stacked her books and lifted with a grunt. Her fingers immediately burned with the weight of them. She slumped down again, letting the books thud to the floor. Maybe if she carried them one by one? Gem lifted the top book, but even that was so large she could barely wrap her arms around it. It was going to be a long walk downstairs. 

“You okay?” Gem jumped, spinning to see who had spoken. Another student stood behind her, shaggy-haired head cocked to the side. Gem took a long step to the side, trying to hide the pile behind her.

“Yeah,” she said. The less she said, the less suspicious she’d seem. She didn’t know why anyone would think she was suspicious.

The student squatted down, wizard hat falling a bit over their eyes. “What are you doing in the library, little dude? Those are heavy books.”

“I’m checking out some books for- my dad,” Gem said. The lie came surprisingly easily. “He wants some books on transmogrifying people.”

“And he made you carry those heavy books?” the student asked, scratching their head.

If Gem knew any swears, she was sure she’d have uttered them. She was glad she didn’t. “Yeah,” she said. “But it’s fine! I’ll just walk slow.”

“Do you know what chapters he needs? There are enchanted pens that could make copies for him in the service room,” they said.

“Well- no-“ Gem said, “But- I bet if I looked through the books, I’d be able to tell!”

“If you say so,” they laughed. “I could carry those to a desk for you. Um, if you think you can see over the edge of the desk.”

Gem glared at them. “I’m tall.”

“I can see that!” The student scooped up the books easily. Embarrassingly easily. “Alright, where to?”

Once the helpful student had helped Gem carry the books to the service room, she methodically flipped to the table of contents, then the appendices to look for anything that could be helpful. Only three thin chapters among many, many thick pages even mentioned turning boys into girls. The enchanted pens copied them onto a thick, but not heavy, stack of paper, and in absence of the helpful student, she just left the books in the room. She carried the papers down the grand spiral stairs (not even on all fours this time).

The librarian raised her eyebrows as she caught sight of Gem. “Thank you for the help!” she called with a grin. “I found everything I was looking for!”

“Right,” the librarian murmured, glancing between Gem’s face and the copied papers in her arms. “Have a nice night.”

Gem stepped out onto the street. It was early evening, and few people were out and about. The wind rustled her collection of papers, and she briefly unbuttoned her coat to slip them inside. That would keep them from blowing away and keep anyone from questioning what a little kid was doing with a thick stack of academic text. Then, she hustled home. She’d told her parents she was going to the park, and they’d be wondering why she wasn’t home by now. 

Gem knocked on the house door just as the sun dipped below the horizon. “Theo!” her mom admonished as she opened the door. “We were worried! Your father was just about to go find you.”

Gem internally sighed with relief that she hadn’t. “I lost track of time,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

Her mom sighed. “Fine. It’s dinner time, get inside.” 

Gem obeyed. She shucked off her boots and placed them by the door, then moved her hands to her coat buttons. But before she could bundle it away and hide the papers up in her room, her mom ducked into the entryway again. “Don’t dawdle, Theo. Dinner’s getting cold.”

“I’m coming,” Gem said hastily. Her head whipped around for a few seconds, but she couldn’t see anywhere to hide her papers. She settled for buttoning her coat again and walking to the table still wearing it.

Gem sat down just as her father was finishing pouring glasses of water. He smiled warmly as he saw her. “Hey, Theo! Did you have a good time at the park?”

“Yep! I saw a bunch of bluebirds. I kept following them around, but they never came close enough for me to touch,” she said. She’d come up with the lie on the walk home. Something to explain why she’d taken so long.

“Yeah, I don’t think they like people as much as people like them,” her dad laughed. “Why are you still wearing your coat?”

“I’m cold,” Gem said. She hadn’t planned that lie. It was the only thing she could think of that made sense, though, so it’d have to do.

Her dad cocked his head. “Cold? Are you feeling alright?”

“I am,” Gem said. “But, you know. I spent so long outside.” She hastily took a spoonful of her food- soup with chunks of vegetables and meat floating in it, though she barely tasted it- before she could be expected to speak more.

“It’s from staying outside for so long,” her mother muttered conspiratorially, as if Gem couldn’t hear. Her father nodded. “Next time, will you come home when it starts to get dark out?”

“Mhm. I’m sorry,” Gem muttered. She abandoned her spoon and picked up the bowl, drinking the cloudy broth. It dripped down her chin, but she finished the soup much faster this way. “May I be excused?”

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright?” her mom asked. She reached across the table to put a warm hand on Gem’s forehead. “No fever- did you hurt yourself outside?”

“No, I just- I was running around a lot. I got tired,” Gem bluffed. She hugged her arms close to her chest, feeling her papers crinkle against her skin. Somehow, she knew her parents would be angry if they found her research materials, and not just because she’d lied to them. “I’m really sorry.”

“Stay a little longer,” her father implored. Gem reluctantly sat back down. “And take off your coat, Theo. It’ll get dirty.”

Gem swallowed. She reached a hand under her coat hem and shuffled the papers to the side, before carefully unbuttoning her coat. She wrapped the papers in the garment as she pulled it off, folding the fabric on the ground to conceal them. “Thank you,” said her dad mildly. “More soup?”

What felt like two hours later, Gem gathered up her precious bundle and squirreled it up the stairs. The papers went under her pillow, the coat hung on the door. Gem couldn’t start reading yet- too much of a risk of someone walking in and asking what she was doing- so she forced herself to read from a Crystal Crew book. 

Bedtime couldn’t come fast enough.

Finally, in the darkness of her room, Gem lit a lamp. The dim candle fire was blinding, but still difficult to read by as Gem pulled out the papers. They were wrinkled, and the ink a little smeared by her quest to get them home, but they were still legible. Gem flipped through the thick stack of papers. She had a lot of work to do.

The first instance of semi-permanent cross-sex transmogrification occurred in-

This new type of spell typically wears off between two to four years after application due to-

The fact remains that sex impacts many different body parts, each of which grow at different speeds-

Gem yawned, and not just because it was late. None of these chapters were of any use! All the spells they described took months to prepare, and wore off in the same amount of  time, because they claimed it was just so difficult to permanently alter a growing and changing body. But Gem being a girl had nothing to do with her body! It had to do with what was inside, in her soul. If the spell latched onto that, it obviously wouldn’t wear off! Sighing, Gem stuffed the useless papers back under her pillow. She’d have to write the spell herself, it seemed.

Chapter Text

With the aid of the books, making the spell was actually quite easy. Sure, she had to modify the runes quite a bit for the spell to latch onto her soul instead of her body, but Gem had read a lot about magic. It wasn’t terribly hard to mix and match instructions from wish-granting spells and metaphysical properties from distress alleviating cantrips. A bit of stolen blackboard chalk would make it easy to draw them on her bedroom floor. Honestly, why hadn’t anyone thought of this before?

The other spell components were even easier. Spells needed catalysts- physical objects to lend their magical essence, reducing the chance of the spell failing or missing its mark. And, well, everyone said girls were made of sugar, spice, and everything nice, right? Those shouldn’t be hard to find. It’d be fine. Right.

“Mom?” Gem poked into the kitchen. Early morning light bathed the room in pale blue, and the air was perfumed by simmering milk and spices.

“Aren’t you up early,” her mom chuckled. “Good morning, Theo.”

“Morning, mom.” Gem took a seat at the low kitchen table, rubbing her eyes. Her mom didn’t question why she was up so early- after all, Gem had gone to bed much earlier than normal. But she hadn’t slept a wink as she composed her spell. She could sleep once she’d proven she was a girl.

“I’m making rice pudding,” her mom mentioned, shaking Gem out of her thoughts.

“Really? Why?” she asked.

“Well, it’s your favorite,” her mom shrugged. “And, well, I thought you needed a treat.”

Well, that was odd. “Why?”

“You just seemed a little… off lately,” her mother said. She wasn’t looking at Gem, but she could hear the smile seep out of her voice, replaced by gentle worry. “Since the family gathering. Uncle Elmer really got to you, huh?”

Gem tensed a little. “Oh. I guess,” she said, because what else was there to say?

“You know your dad and I don’t think you’re girly, right?” her mom said. “There’s nothing wrong with you being quieter and less rowdy. Between you and me, I feel a bit bad for your Uncle Elmer, with his two boys.”

Gem’s stomach churned. Just one more day, she reminded herself. “Okay.”

“Really, don’t listen to him. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“I know.”

“Theo.” Gem’s mom had walked over to her, abandoning her cooling pot of milk. “You know you can tell your dad and me anything, right?”

“I know,” Gem lied. “It’s really no big deal. There’s nothing wrong with being a- with being a little girly, I mean. I mean, you’re a girl, and there’s nothing wrong with you.”

Gem’s mom chuckled a bit. “That’s right, Gem. But if there’s anything we can do to help…”

“Can I have a cinnamon stick?”

Gem’s mom laughed. “Why?”

Gem hadn’t thought that far. “Uh, I like cinnamon?”

“There’s plenty in the pudding, love,” Gem’s mom said, “And it’ll taste a lot better. Cinnamon sticks are made of tree bark, you know.”

“But mom, how am I gonna learn that if I can’t make mistakes?” Gem smiled innocently, and her mother laughed.

“Okay, fine.” She rustled around in the cabinet, and passed Gem a single cinnamon stick. “Enjoy your learning experience!”

Gem stuck the cinnamon stick in her pocket and went to make toast for breakfast. Her mom had said she could tell her anything. Somehow, Gem knew it wasn’t true. If she told her about her plan, she would never let Gem cast her spell. She would call it dangerous, tell Gem to leave magic to trained wizards. And maybe she was right, or would be if Gem was less smart. But what if Gem just told her she wanted to be a girl? That the reason why Uncle Elmer’s comment hurt her feelings wasn’t because she wasn’t a girl, but because he was telling her he’d think less of her if she was? Gem hoped her mom would understand, but there was still a chance she would tell her she was just confused. And if she did… how would she react when Gem’s spell had succeeded?

She shook the idea off. She would find out after the spell had stuck and nobody could take her girlhood away from her.

Gem collected her other components over the course of the day. Sugar came in the form of a sugarcube, spirited away at tea time (tea without sugar was awfully bitter and oddly bland, she found. She sipped it anyway to alleviate suspicion). As for “everything nice”, Gem figured she’d have to settle for a representative sample. Flowers were nice, so she picked a few of the uglier blooms from the gardens- ones that wouldn’t be missed. Gem hoped they felt flattered that she considered them nice. Animals were also nice, but Gem didn’t want to risk hurting one, so she substituted her old teddy bear. And since three was a lucky number for magic, she picked one last nice thing- a delicate necklace that belonged to her mother, made of tiny amethyst beads like purple raindrops. (Gem had always wondered why girls got so many pretty things that boys just… didn’t.)

The hardest part was, of course, the waiting. Gem had to work at night, and well, it wasn’t night. Too easy for her parents to interrupt the spell if she performed it during the day. So Gem waited. Even once she had been tucked into bed, she still waited and listened, eyes closed to make her hearing sharper. She heard her parents’ soft footsteps outside her room and held her breath. It would be time soon.

Water ran. Gem could hear soft speech, but not make out what her mom and dad were actually saying. Then, more footsteps, a door closing, and silence. She should probably wait a little longer, Gem thought. Just to make sure they were asleep. She stared up at the ceiling, gray and pockmarked in the moonlight, and felt her notes crinkle under her pillow.

A few minutes later, Gem threw off her covers and sat up, stepping onto the cold wooden floor. She pulled her box of chalk off her bookshelf, placed there as part of “cleaning up” and got to work. She scratched out the spell circle, then buffed out part of the line at five equally spaced intervals to place her catalysts. Then, Gem carefully copied each rune of her spell onto the circle in tiny, precise strokes, careful not to smudge a single letter. Magic wasn’t very good at filling in the gaps.

Gem carefully stepped over her work, grabbing her catalysts. She picked a point at random to be the top of her circle (all the books she’d read said which point was the top didn’t matter, just that you needed one) and laid out the catalysts in the order of the rhyme. Sugar cube at the top, then the cinnamon at the next point, then the flowers, teddy bear, and the jewels. The objects stared up at her from the dark floor, smudged with chalk and moonlight.

Gem sat down in the middle of the circle, criss-cross applesauce on the cold floor. Her pajama pants didn’t entirely protect her from the hard floor, but that was okay. The last step was always the quickest. A rhyme, to prompt the spell to activate. Non-wizards often thought that was the entire spell- haughty wizards thought it was unimportant. Gem fell in the middle. Even if the rhyming verses could be replaced by a single activation word, she liked the fairytale-ness. She was eight, after all.

Gem took a deep breath. “Heat from fire, fire from heat,” she began. Her voice was a hoarse whisper, barely audible but still too loud in the silence of the house. She really, really hoped her parents were asleep.

“Heat from fire, fire from heat,” she repeated, “Cinnamon and sugar sweet, bring to light what I must hide.” Her voice unexpectedly caught after the third line, but she powered through, even as her voice shook. “Make me match the heart inside,” she whispered hoarsely, face oddly warm.

Nothing happened.

Gem looked around her circle. She didn’t think she’d done anything wrong? She’d copied the runes so carefully, so maybe her catalysts were incorrect? But what could she have used besides sugar, spice, and everything nice? Maybe it was because her voice had cracked. “Heat from fire, fire from heat, cinnamon and sugar sweet,” she rushed out. “Bring to light what I must hide make me match the heart inside!” Her tongue tripped over the words, far too loud for the hour of night.

Still, nothing. Okay. Okay! Gem could fix this, she could do more work- maybe she needed to shuffle around her catalysts. A single tear dripped down her face. Gem jerked back before it could smudge the chalk on the floor, only to brush away part of the circle with her sleeve as she rearranged her items. But it would be okay. It’d have to be okay.

Because truth be told, Gem didn’t know what she’d do if the spell didn’t work. She didn’t know what books to read, which spells to tweak, what catalysts to use. Would she have to just… give up? Gem never gave up, but at the same time, how could she keep trying with no idea how to solve her problems? Maybe she just… never would be a girl.

Oh, man. She was gonna be in so much trouble when her parents realized she’d drawn all over the floor.

Gem swallowed hard, as if the motions might hold back the tears rapidly welling in her eyes. It wasn’t fair. You were supposed to get what you want when you work hard! She’d worked harder on this than she ever had in her life! It was supposed to… it had to work. “Please,” Gem whispered out loud, as a tear finally dripped down her face and onto the circle. She scrubbed at her eyes with her sleeve, trying to calm her breath. She should really start cleaning up, since the spell clearly wasn’t going to-

Gem pulled her arm away from her face.

The chalk was glowing. It was glowing. Gem sniffled thickly, staring blankly at her work. “What’s…” she muttered to herself, staring uncomprehendingly at the smudged circle. Each minuscule speck of chalk glittered like stardust, shining bright enough to light up the room like daytime. As Gem watched, open mouthed, as the dust slowly, speck by speck, lifted itself off the floor. Blinding white surrounded Gem in a vortex, swirling in a powerful wind she couldn’t feel.

And then, Gem felt it. A gentle tugging under her arms, urging her to join the swirling dust in the air. Almost unconsciously, she stepped up, and the force pressed at the crook of her knees, the back of her shoulders. Gem yelped and fell backwards, and the magic caught her, cradling her like a baby and lifting her up to join the chalk. She should be scared. She’d never read about anything like this happening before. But Gem couldn’t bring herself to feel anything but a deep sense of calm, like a burden she never knew she was carrying had suddenly been lifted from her back.

Gem’s feet left the ground. She hung in the air, completely suspended by glowing chalk and powerful gales that shook everything in her room but never touched her. The glowing hurricane whirled faster, wispy nebulas tightening into bright locks of pure light around her. Gem reached out a hand towards the swirl, and the magic let her touch the light. It was oddly abrasive, leaving her hand full of pins and needles as she pulled it back.

The vortex swirled faster, faster still. Gem shut her eyes, curled in on herself, but the light was still blinding, even through the skin of her eyelids. Threads of magic brushed her skin, leaving even more pins and needles where they touched. Gem’s head brushed the ceiling, and she couldn’t keep away from the magic anymore. Stretching out her arms and legs, Gem let the glowing dust take her.

A tingling feeling flooded her body, not quite painful, but definitely not pleasant. Gem would have struggled, but she felt oddly tired, unable to do anything but let the magic take her. She could feel it move inside her, pulling away from her arms and legs to pool in her hands, torso, head. It was the worst in her scalp, like someone was pulling each individual hair on her head. Gem tilted her head backwards, trying to jerk away from the feeling, and felt something tickle her neck.

Slowly, the tingling faded, dripping out of her body from the feet up. The magic gently lowered Gem to the floor, but she didn’t even have the energy to sit up. She slumped down, glancing around her room. Her books had been torn off the shelves and tossed to the floor, her bed had been completely unmade, and the mirror had been thrown to the floor. The only thing that wasn’t messy was her spell circle- the chalk and catalysts had completely vanished.

Gem staggered to her feet. If she didn’t clean up now, her parents would be mad at her tomorrow. She reached for the mirror- thankfully, it wasn’t broken- and propped it up against the wall.

And looked at her reflection.

Gem was a girl. The spell had worked.

It was almost odd how similar she looked. She was still awkwardly tall and bespectacled, but her face had a subtle roundness to it, a kind of softness that wasn’t there before. Her hair was longer, too (it had grown, the tugging in her scalp had been her hair growing), almost reaching the floor in silky red waves. Even her pajamas had been turned into a purple nightgown, only slightly stained with chalk. She looked like the brave wizard who ran with the Crystal Crew. She looked like Gem.

The door banged open. “Theo, we heard banging, what’s going-“ her dad pushed into the room and stopped, staring uncomprehendingly at the absolute mess in her room. And at her. “Who… who are you?”

“Dad, it’s me! It’s Theo! The spell worked!” Gem cried, staggering to her feet and beaming up at him.

“What spell?” her mother asked, sleepily walking up behind her husband. She froze as she looked at Gem.

“Mom- you said I was a boy and not a girl because of how I was born,” Gem explained. “But I don’t want to be a boy. I don’t want people to judge me for being who I am. So, I wrote a spell and turned myself into a girl!”

“Theo, this is ridiculous,” her mom breathed, eyes widening in horror. “What did you do to yourself? Transmogrification is dangerous, you could permanently damage yourself!”

“No, I read up! I wrote my own spell, this one isn’t dangerous!” Frantic, Gem gathered the scattered notes of her work and shoved them at her parents. “It won’t wear off when I grow up, because I anchored it to my soul. It’ll make me grow up like a girl too!”

“This is nonsense,” her dad muttered, but took the pages anyway. He turned on the light and leafed through them, brow furrowed. As he read, though, his face grew less and less angry, and more and more confused.

“I haven’t seen anything like this before,” he muttered.

“That’s ‘cause I wrote it myself,” Gem stressed. “I don’t know how to reverse it,” she added, just in case her parents wanted to… make her go back.

“You sure did,” her father said. He passed the papers to her mom, and she read through them too, papers flipping violently. “Well? What do we do?”

Gem’s mom neatly stacked the notes and passed them back to Gem. “I think we go to bed,” she said. “And then, in the morning, we take our daughter to see the Arch Wizard.”