Chapter Text
Noelle broke first.
With how much time they’ve been spending together, finding out more and more things about each other that just makes their tension even more palpable. Sharing some of their biggest trauma, with Susie being uncharacteristically concerned while Noelle cried into her hands and rambled about how much she hates the wintertime and how much she’s scared of her mother and so many other things that she’d only whisper to herself after exhausted nights alone. Susie, in turn, felt comfortable enough to talk about her familial relationships or lack thereof. All the two girls could do afterward was simply smile in understanding, Susie not being quite sure of why she let her guard down so easily.
She was especially confused as to why, for once, she didn’t see it as a particularly bad thing.
There were so many weird things about being with each other, with probably the weirdest being that… it wasn’t a bad weird. It wasn’t weird like stumbling upon a lost sock nowhere near where you left it, or weird like a sinking feeling in your stomach after you eat too much chalk. No, it was…a good weird. It was the kind of feeling that is unfamiliar but you’ll welcome with open arms, a feeling that makes you a nervous wreck in the best way possible. It was almost comforting. That is, if you didn’t mind new things.
Susie was not like this though, and she tried to fight this strange feeling almost the moment she realized how unfamiliar it was. She soon realized this was one battle she could not win, no matter how much she tried to yell it out of her. She couldn’t stop her mouth from the frequent suggestions that her and Noelle should hang out more, for real, and she hated how the only thing she regretted from those times was how bad her timing seemed. She could never fully get the sentence out before someone interrupted them, forcing her to wait until, hopefully, the next time they were alone. Maybe this was the reason why she tried so hard to pretend that the possibility of the situation they were in right now was none, even though a small part of her had an idea. Why else would she be constantly chasing away thoughts about her fair hair, her kind smile, her jingle-like laugh, and just…driving herself insane?
As for Noelle, she just didn’t want this to happen so she could pass her own personal test. She was well acquainted with this feeling, this warm, fuzzy, and yet terrifying feeling, but she’s been trying everything in her to not let it take over her, not with Susie of all people. In the early stages, she wanted nothing more than to embrace it, to yell it on the roofs, to let Susie know how she felt about her. And since she was in a dream, you’d think she would do nothing less than just that, right? Except, something had changed between them. They became genuine friends. She’d wanted that for so long, constantly trying to get on her good side, but her ultimate goal was the next step after that.
But…now that she’s in the friendship stage, regardless of if this was real or not, she truly realized how much she would be risking if she was as bold as she pined to be. Simply being able to see Susie laugh with her, treat her like she was a real part of this friend group she made up… it was enough for her. It had to be enough for her, lest she got so sucked up in this fantasy world that she forever ruins any chance with the real Susie.
And yet, here they were. Noelle sitting between Susie’s legs, staring straight into her eyes. It’d be darker if it wasn’t for Noelle’s bright red nose now being the only source of light in the room. Susie was sitting, literally backed into a corner, the only things as background noise being their own heartbeats and her tail wagging behind her so frantically she didn’t even care to hide it. She would be aggressively pushing her away, trying to maintain her image (from who exactly, she didn’t know, as they were alone, and that made the situation even more trippy), hoping and praying that she was strong enough to fight back these emotions, but Susie knew deep inside that it wasn’t because it was her. It was because of the feelings Noelle brought to her.
She couldn’t stand it, and she couldn’t stand that, secretly, she was anticipating whatever she was going to do next.
Noelle’s demeanor was intense, but cautious, as she didn’t fully know what she was doing. The last thing she remembers was a conversation about courage, then Noelle was reminded this was a dream, and a chill went through her spine the second she heard Susie’s deep, reverberating laughter fill the echoey room. And they were far away from the others.
Both girls sat there, not daring to say a word. It felt too dangerous. Too risky, even for the position they were in right now. How long had they just been staring at each other? Seconds? Hours? They couldn’t tell. Time seemed to slow down the second Noelle shifted closer to Susie.
The silence was almost maddening, and Noelle decided, no, needed to break it. To Hell with it, she didn’t know how much longer she could stay in this dream world, and she’d hate herself forever if she was that much of a coward that she couldn’t even make a move on her crush in a dream setting.
“S…Susie?” It was maybe a decibel above a whisper. She could barely hear her own voice over the hammering in her chest.
Susie remained silent. She was so up close to her face she could feel her minty breath, the conviction layering her warm hazel eyes - did she always have this many freckles towards the center of her face? She felt so bashful, so unlike herself, she was gonna hate herself for it. If she gets out of this alive, that is. She felt like she was dying.
“C…Can I…um…” She took a breath, knowing what was coming out of her mouth could change everything. “C-Can I kiss you?!” she blurted out, adrenaline rushing to her head. She was dizzy, feeling like her limbs would give out any second. Why was she so nervous? This wasn’t real. And at this point…she wasn’t sure if she wanted it to be.
Susie let out a soft gasp, clenching her fists by her side. She couldn’t tell if her breathing became heavier, or if she ceased to exist at all. How does she respond to that? Noelle looked so determined, so fiery, and yet so exhausted, like it took all of her energy just to let that question out into the earth. Her expression was so focused, as if Susie was the only thing in this world worth paying attention to. It almost scared her. Her look was as delicate as silk, yet burning like the sun.
Noelle’s lips were slightly parted, her soft features being lit up by the red lighting. Susie’s lips twitched. Her mouth went dry. Her heartbeat was slowly melting into nothing but white noise, a reminder constantly ringing in her ears.
She tried to open her mouth to speak, say anything to respond to her, possibly even run back to her defense mechanism of yelling - the only thing about this situation that would feel familiar - but she couldn’t even do that. She was left almost utterly speechless. Almost. She had one thing in her head, something that had been screaming at her in the back of her mind for a few days.
Before she could even think about her actions, think about what would follow her words, it just came spilling out. “Noelle…this isn’t a dream.” It was hushed, her usually gravelly voice being peeled back into a more smokey intonation.
Loud silence followed thereafter. She watched as Noelle’s gaze went from sharp to confused to shocked. Something about the intensity of this situation combined with Susie’s hesitance, intertwined with a hurriness and a sort of confession in her tone, made something click.
“Wh..what…?”
Suddenly, they heard a nearby door open, and there was light again after god knows how much time.
“Noelle! Susan, dear! Do not worry, Berdly is here to rescue you!!” Berdly’s smug voice came through the door.
Both girls froze.
Berdly looked at them, still in the same position they were in mere seconds ago. Before he could say a peep, Susie scrambled to her feet, startling Noelle. “Well, shit, took you long enough, dumbass!!” she shouted, frantically trying to hide both her scorching face and her tail wildly wagging behind her. “C’mon, let’s just fucking go already! Fuck!” she quickly growled, giving one final glance back at Noelle before dashing out of the room.
“Ah! I’ll be right with you, my dear!!” Berdly called out, a song like inflection in his words. He turned back to Noelle, who was now kneeling down, looking down at her lap. “Er, Noelle? Are you okay? Your face is quite red!” he asked. “You are not sick, are you? Because I’d be glad to help –” Noelle sweetly cut him off. “N-No. Th…That’s not needed,” she squeaked, finally getting up. “Thank you though, Berdly,” she said sincerely. “Oh? Well, er, you’re very welcome, dear Noelle!” he announced melodramatically.
Noelle walked out, folding her hands in front of her. Thank Angel she had ice powers, because she needed to cool off before she turned into a puddle.
Susie was up ahead, fighting with herself between completely erasing the last four minutes out of her mind forever, and dissecting every little detail of that…event.
Then, she remembered. She told her this wasn’t a dream. For fuck’s sake. Fuck her life. Fuck it all.
She quickened her pace, not knowing what she’ll do if Noelle catches up to her. She needed to get to Kris and Ralsei. Now. She doesn’t give a damn if she doesn’t know the way.
As she desperately tried to focus on anything, anything other than what just happened, anything other than the way Noelle somehow got prettier and smelled even nicer up close, and absolutely fucking anything other than the way Noelle would’ve tasted, the look in her eyes would not leave her mind.
And what’s worse.
She…kinda really wanted Noelle to look at her like that again.