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"Hey Max." Sam said as he continued to suck on a fudge pop while watching TV with Max.
"Yeah Sam?" Max said.
"Do you think I should lose some weight?" Sam said.
"Well, I don't know Sam. I mean I love sitting on your big squishy stomach, but if you want to shred some pounds, sure!" Max said.
"Yeah, I've figured I've been getting a bit overweight recently, and I need to start exercising more. That's my new year's resolution!" Sam said.
"Sam, New Year's was weeks ago." Max said.
"So?" Sam said.
"Alright, you want me to help?" Max said.
"Sure! You'd be a great help Max!" Sam said as he hugged his husband.
"Aw, anything for you Sammy!" Max said.
"You're acting pretty unusual little buddy!" Sam said.
"Well, whenever you give me affection, I always feel warm and fuzzy inside of me! Either that or it's the C4 I keep in my stomach just in case." Max said.
"Well little buddy, you want to start tomorrow?" Sam said.
"Sure!" Max said.
"Alright then, change the channel little buddy, there's a show I want to catch in a bit." Sam said.
"Is it Hannah Montana?" Max said.
"No, it's Midtown Cowboys." Sam said.
"Oh yeah, that show we used to do! I thought it got cancelled." Max said.
"Yeah it did. But this is supposed to be a gritty reboot, because corporate executives think that's what people want." Sam said.
"Of course. Let's see how bad this reboot is!" Max said as he flipped over to the channel where the new Midtown Cowboys was.
"They're calling it Midtown?" Max said.
"Yeah! It's about two cowboy outlaws who fled the law to Chicago in western times and got an apartment there." Sam said.
"Huh, not very original." Max said.
"I wonder if it'll have as many homosexual undertones as there were in the original show with us." Sam said.
"Sam, we literally kissed on camera, and people thought we were acting. Brokeback Mountain can eat it's heart out, that's how the saying goes right?" Max said.
"I think so little buddy! Now it's starting!" Sam said as he and Max started watching the reboot.
"You know what we need, popcorn?" Sam said.
"I'll go make some! You want the low-fat popcorn Geek bought?" Max said.
"Sure, I'm sure she'll be okay with it!" Sam said as Max went over to the microwave, and put in the bag of popcorn. After about two minutes, Max came back with a smoking bag of popcorn.
"It's kinda burnt." Max said.
"Ah, whatever Max, you know I love burnt popcorn!" Sam said as he gave Max a kiss on the cheek.
"Aw Sammy! That's so grody and sappy you dork!" Max said.
"Well, I don't mind being sappy to my soulmate, c'mon we're missing the show!" Sam said.
"Oh, right! How is it so far?" Max said.
"Not very good." Sam said.
"Figures." Max said.
"Columbo's on another channel, want to watch that instead?" Sam said.
"That detective show you used to watch all the time when we were kids? Hell yeah Sammy!" Max said.
"It'll be better than this train wreck." Sam said as he switched the channel to something better.
~~
"Alright Max, how do I look?" Sam said as he came out of his and Max's room wearing an exercise outfit. Max blushed.
"Well for one thing, you look like you came straight out of a aerobics VHS from the 80's." Max said. Sam looked disappointed.
"Hey, that's not a bad thing! You look smoking hot Sammy!" Max said. Sam smiled once he heard that.
"You really think that?" Sam said.
"Of course Sammy!" Max said.
"Thanks." Sam said.
"Alright, now why don't we do a jog around the block to get started?" Max said.
"Sure!" Sam said.
"Alright, move it Sam!" Max said as they went outside, and Sam began jogging.
"C'mon Sam, you sexy hunk! You've got this!" Max shouted words of encouragement to his husband.
"I'm trying!" Sam said as he panted.
"You're doing great!" Max said.
"Max, give me a bottle of water, I need a break." Sam said as he stopped.
"Here you go!" Max said as he pulled a water bottle from none of your damn business.
"Max, I don't think this is working..." Sam said.
"What? C'mon Sam, you're doing a great job!" Sam said.
"Max, we made it to the end of our street." Sam said.
"Well, c'mon Sam, you can't give up!" Max said.
"I guess you're right little buddy." Sam said as he started jogging when he and Max heard something.
"Help, someone's taking my purse!" A woman shouted as Sam saw a thief dart rapidly.
"A thief!" Sam said as he started to run at breakneck speeds, and pulled out his revolver.
"Wait for me Sam!" Max said as he struggled to catch up to Sam. Sam shot a few times at the thief, before hitting him in the leg.
"Ow! I'll sue for this!" The thief said.
"Freelance Police. You're under arrest for theft." Sam said as he cuffed the thief and threw him towards the police station.
"Good throwing arm Sam." Max said.
"I've been practicing." Sam said.
"Anyways, where did that boost of speed come from Sam?!" Max said.
"I don't know, I just saw the criminal and ran after him." Sam said.
"Well, maybe that can help with you losing pounds!" Max said.
"Holy Big Mac being sold to an overweight man at McDonalds! I guess you're right. Thanks little buddy!" Sam said.
"No problem Sam!" Max said. All of a sudden, Sam's cell went off.
"Hello? Ah, Commissioner! Uh huh, yeah, yep, okay. We got him, he's at the station now. Alright, have a good one." Sam said as he hung up.
"The Commissioner, Sam?" Max said.
"Yep, he was asking us to stop a serial mugger!" Sam said.
"The guy you just arrested?" Max said.
"Yep." Sam said.
"Well, now that's over with, want to get back to exercising Sam?" Max said.
"Nah Max, let's return this purse and then go to the nearest Inconvenience Store, I want to get some chips." Sam said.
"I want Doritos!" Max said.
"We'll see if they have them little buddy." Sam said as he jogged off to the Inconvenience Store, Max following behind him.