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It was yet another boring day for the Freelance Police, waiting around for the Commissioner to call them. It was also winter, so Sam was wearing a thicker suit. Meanwhile Max was wearing a simple black sweater. He usually had to wear clothes in the winter because it was pretty cold, and he didn't want to go in the nude.
"Hey, what are you doing Sam?" Max said as he looked up from reenacting a scene from Reservoir Dogs with Jimmy-Two-Teeth.
"Playing solitaire with the deck of cards we have." Sam said as he drew another card from the deck.
"What's that?" Max said.
"Card game." Sam said.
"Why would you play by yourself? That seems dumb." Max said as he focused on Sam.
"Well, you seem busy practicing whatever new torture method you see on TV, so I thought I might play a card game by myself." Sam said.
"C'mon Sam, I can play with you! Let's play strip poker!" Max said.
"As much as I'd love to, I'm pretty sure this is just an excuse to get out of your clothes." Sam said.
"Rats! You caught on!" Max said.
"Don't worry Sam, I mean Max, we can still play regular poker!" Sam said.
"What's in it for the winner?" Max said.
"Loser has to buy the winner lunch." Sam said.
"I'm down with that!" Max said as he pulled up a stool, and stood across from Sam.
"Alright, let's start!" Sam said as he started shuffling the deck.
"Sam, where are the poker chips?" Max said.
"Right here!" Sam said as he pulled out some poker chips.
"You had poker chips?" Max said.
"Well, actually, they're chocolate! Gotta make sure you don't eat them again! That's what got you banned from playing poker at the Inventory little buddy!" Sam said as he unwrapped one to show to Max.
"Sam, I don't have the cravings for those circular, plastic, crunchy, gritty, ooooooohhh." Max said as he started to drool. Sam then slapped his husband.
"You see bonehead? That's why we're not playing with real poker chips." Sam said.
"Fine Sam. Let's just play." Max said as the two kept playing hands of poker. Eventually, the last round happened.
"HAH! FLUSH! BEAT IT SAM!" Max gloated over his near win against Sam, who had a three of a kind.
"Congrats little buddy, you won!" Sam said.
"Yay, what do I win? Ooh, is it a new AK-74?!" Max said.
"No, it's a lunch date with me, remember? I'm paying, since I lost." Sam said.
"Not what I wanted exactly, but it's still good!" Max said.
"Where do you want to go little buddy?" Sam said.
"Well, why not Stinky's? Really in the mood for some unhealthy food!" Max said.
"Sorry Max, Stinky's is closed for now." Sam said.
"Why? Did the FDA finally get to him?" Max said.
"No, he ran afoul of the mob, and now he has to lay low for awhile until the heat's off his back, or that's what I heard from Sybil at least." Sam said.
"What about Burger Queen?" Max said.
"That bootleg ripoff of Burger King that actually has better food than the actual place? Sure, let's go there!" Max said as the two exited their office. They put on their winter coats and scarves, while passing Flint Paper, who was stabbing a thug with an icicle.
"Making good use of the environment, huh Flint?" Sam said.
"Well Sam, you know when you're caught without any knives or guns, you've got to adapt and improvise! Pretty sure that's the marine motto!" Flint said as he went back to stabbing the thug. Sam and Max went down the stairs, and entered the DeSoto.
"Can I drive this time Sam? Please? I promise not to run over any more scientologists!" Max said.
"Max, as much as I'm sure you'd like to do that, I'd rather not take a vacation to hell." Sam said as he got in the driver's seat. Max got in the passenger's seat, and Sam started the DeSoto. It revved to life, and Sam backed up, and drove at breakneck speeds to get to Burger Queen.
"Here we are, at one of the cornerstones of American life, unhealthy rapidly produced food that the masses consume!" Sam said as they stood in front of Burger Queen.
"Oh come on Sam, let's go get our stuff!" Max said as the two entered the fast food joint. They saw there was a lineup, and waited.
"Uuuugh, I hate lines! I wish they would hurry up!" Max said.
"Don't worry little buddy, we're up next!" Sam said as they finally got to the counter.
"Welcome to Burger King, can I take your order?" The person staffing the cash said as Sam leaned down to ask what Max wanted to get.
"I'll have a bacon BBQ cheeseburger, with fries and a Cherry Coke. My little buddy over here will have a triple cheeseburger with onion rings and an Orange Fanta." Sam said.
"Alright, that'll be $20." The cashier said as Sam grabbed a $20 bill out of his wallet, and gave it to the cashier.
"Thanks, your food will be here in just a bit." The cashier said as they handed Sam the receipt and he and Max stood by, waiting for their food. After they got it, they went to a table, and started eating.
"You know, I never understood how you could eat a burger that big Max." Sam said as he took a sip of his drink.
"Jaw practices Sam! That's what makes the magic work! That's how I won that eating contest back in Ohio!" Max said as he ate his burger.
"Guess that makes sense. I'll trade you a few fries for an onion ring." Sam said.
"Sure!" Max said as they swapped food. They kept on eating, until they finally finished.
"Delicious!" Max said.
"Honestly, I can't believe this place is as great as it is!" Sam said.
"Good idea for a date Sam!" Max said.
"Well, you know I love to treat my little buddy!" Sam said to his husband.
"Well Sam, let's go find some skulls to crack open, work off that fast food!" Max said.
"You couldn't have said it any better little buddy!" Sam said as he pecked Max on the cheek. Max blushed, and the two left the fast food joint, ready to stop whatever crime they came across on their journey back to the office.