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The first thing she realized was that thermos meant something different to her now.
Yes, thermos, the containers that keep hot liquids hot on chilly winter days, the bottles that Mom used to send her to school with, filled with stews or minestrone soups. It was always a treat despite the additional and quiet substantial weight it added to her schoolbag. Charlie had a yellow Snoopy one, and she had one with a matching lunch box in red plaid. It was a Christmas present from Uncle Roger and Aunt Lucy. She had wanted one with the Mickey Mouse school bus design, and Bill had teased her relentlessly for it, calling her babyface Bun-Bun. Whatever the hell that meant.
She was almost 8, and definitely not babyface anymore. She never thought about the Mickey Mouse school bus design again.
She told this particular memory to Mulder on one of their fruitless stakeouts, on loan to Quantico’s Investigative Support Unit. Mulder had prepared a thermos of coffee for her, something he did when they had stakeout assignments in the winter. He listened with a smile as she recounted the passengers on the bus: Dumbo, Alice, Pinocchio... Scully surprised herself that she remembered the image so vividly, as if she were the one with the photographic memory.
“There was this older kid who called me Dumbo before he found out my first name is Fox. He thought Fox was worst than Dumbo.” Mulder commented while pouring her coffee in the lid that double-served as a cup.
She drank the coffee, oddly felt like they were participants of a child’s tea party rather than two FBI agents waiting for a suspect to make his next move.
She always smiled when she saw a thermos, even when the smile didn’t show on her face.
After spending years together, many things meant differently to her now. Certain phrases carried a different meaning. She used to feel hurt and upset when she heard Ice Queen, but Mulder saw it differently.
“Scully,” he said, his eyes tender and serious, “you’re the most empathetic person I know. It says more about the person who calls you that than it actually says about you.”
She knew that, but knowing that didn’t make her feel less hurt. Mulder’s words did, somehow.
I don’t mind people calling me Spooky. Mulder said to her. Good price to pay to have a Mrs. Spooky.
Sometimes Scully ignored his comments, like when he suggested that they should pick out china patterns, and those marriage proposals coming out of nowhere. She didn’t want to encourage it, even though a part of her found it to be endearing.
Marriage proposals meant differently to her now, too. It meant that Mulder was impressed with her. That he was pleased with her. That he was proud of her.
Things that used to mean nothing to her now had special meanings.
Scully didn’t remember when that light was switched on, but when she caught on, she had been basking in the warm light for so long that she could no longer remember when she was walking alone in the dark.
“I would’ve followed you to Utah, Scully” He said to her one day, out of the blue.
She shook her head, not believe him for one second.
She was never going tell him, so Mulder would likely never learn that she’d never intended to take the assignment in Salt Lake City. Why would she? She got everything she wanted right here.
She was recovering from her snow-white vacation and Mulder was playing the unnecessary nursemaid. Their office was burned down; they cashed in their sick leave, and took weeks off. It really felt like a summer vacation.
“I can outrun those Mormon guys on bikes in no time, Scully.” He winked at her, a faint smile on his lips. His lips.
She remembered their kisses. The chaste ones. The ones he gave her, on her forehead, cheeks, nose, and hands when she was dying of cancer. The one he gave her above her ear the night Emily died. The one they shared when they were lying in the snow. The ones too close to the lips to be considered kisses on the cheeks, the ones too passionate to considered platonic.
Somehow, they all counted as first kisses to her. Kisses meant differently to her now, she concluded.
Scully wondered if making love would mean differently to her one day. She had a feeling that it would.