Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

7:15 in the morning, Rosohna time. Four hours and 45 minutes till the execution. 14 hours and 54 minutes till it all reset.

Caleb woke up in his bedroom in the Xhorhaus, allowed himself a moment to hope for some external change, then got up and did it all again.

It was easy, now, to evade Beau, sneak out and steal the armor and slip into the Lucid Bastion in the guise of a guard. He'd done this 52 times before. He knew who not to talk to, to evade suspicion, and who to downright avoid and how to convince those he needed to that he really was supposed to relieve their shifts, and, most importantly, where he needed to go. Still, this was the slowest part. He couldn't make it in less than four and three-quarters hours.

At noon, when the sun would be at its highest point in the sky if it shone on this city, he gave himself a moment to feel what was happening three floors above him. Just now, Essek was standing on the platform. Just now came the Disintegrate ray. Caleb had stopped it 37 times before he was forced himself to accept it didn't change anything and made this new plan. He traced the somantics of Counterspell like a promise. One day. Eventually.

And now, it was over. 

Caleb stepped through the Alarm.

He had exactly two minutes and 3 seconds until they got to him. He finished shedding the armor and scattered it on the floor, careful to place the helmet just around the corner, where the Dusk Captain would run without looking for the 32nd time and falter for the briefest moment to avoid tripping on it. Every little bit helped.

1 minute 50 seconds left.

Caleb ran down the corridor and Dispelled the Symbol before he got close enough for the fear, skidding to a stop at the door. He took the sword he'd picked up with the armor and pried back the third stone from the top on the left of the wall, then scratched out the rune hidden there for the 14th time. The antimagic field dropped.

1 minute 30 seconds left.

He cast Knock on the door. The spell was simple, elegant, and loud , but they were already coming for him, so stealth was no concern. He wondered again how Essek had done it.

Caleb opened the door and immediately threw himself to the side. Poisoned darts clattered uselessly against the hallway wall for the tenth time. He circled the floor, counterclockwise, stepping only on the silver tiles, thus avoiding activation of the toxic gas trap. 

1 minute 10 seconds left.

He stood before the pedestal and spoke the code phrase for the second time. 

And this time, he pronounced it correctly.

"Pahntar telanth uns'aa."

The glass dome dissolved, and Caleb was once again in the grey-glowing presence of a Luxon Beacon.

The filigree on the handles was familiar; he hadn't expected that. "Hallo again." He murmured, and picked it up carefully, wary of some final trap. Nothing happened. It pulsed gently, cool to the touch. 

...He'd done it.

He tucked the Beacon under one arm and was just beginning the motion to Teleport when the room turned dark. For the first time.

His instincts screamed trap! and he reflexively flicked out the motions for Dispell- but then he saw the lights. He drifted in a void amidst stars and planets and smoky clouds of blue and purple that he somehow understood were bigger than he could begin to comprehend as he felt again the unmistakable sensation of moving very fast and not moving at all at the same time.

"No, not now …"

His first instinct was to break attunement to the beacon, as he'd done the first time he looked into it, but curiosity stopped him. What did this mean? He hurtled on, and the grey light approached, a mote of softly glowing potential.

He accepted it.

Caleb came back to himself with a mote of possibility hovering above his sternum and the beacon clutched tight in his arms as the Dusk Captain and half a dozen Aurora Watch burst into the room.

"Scheiße." He said, and they killed him.

Chapter Text

5:28 in the morning, Rosohna time. 6 hours and 32 minutes till the Execution. 16 hours and 41 minutes till it all resets.

Caleb woke up to the sound of a baby crying.

It took a moment to hit him. Different. New. The most wonderful thing he'd ever heard. The Beacon had been the key. He'd finally escaped. He'd never have to- oh, gods. If it was the next day, then he hadn't saved Essek. There was no coming back from Disintegration. Gone, oh gods, it was real …

He moved to roll over and bury his face into his pillow and his arm brushed up against something soft and moving . He jerked back and reflexively cast Dancing Lights.

Oh. A baby crying. A baby. What?

Next to him, on his bed, there was a baby.

Drow, probably. Wearing a long grey sleeping gown. Young but not too young- it was hard to say. Coherent thought blanked out for a moment and he reached over to touch it, gently, on the arm. It quieted somewhat and grabbed ineffectually at his wrist, less distraught and more fussy.

"Hallo there."

"Gaabthbth!"

"Is that so?"

The baby squirmed.

"Oh, the lights?" Did drow babies have even more sensitive eyes than adults? He flicked three of the lights under the bed and sent the fourth behind the scarf hanging from his door, filtering through just enough light for him to see.

"Where did you come from, Mäuschen? Why-? What-?" Caleb's coherent thoughts returned to him. Essek was gone. The loop was broken and Essek was gone. "Oh."

There was a loud knocking on his bedroom door. "Caleb? You good? Shit, I mean- having a nightmare or something? Wake up!"

"I'm awake now, Beauregard."

"Okay… try to get some sleep, okay, man?"

He couldn't find a response to that. The baby kicked at its gown. Beau's footsteps receded, but didn't leave the room.

So she was sleeping on the couch in his study again. Again. Reasonable, after how he'd snuck out on her yesterday morning. Yesterday. Wait. Yesterday he'd died . 

"Beau?"

"Yeah?"

"What day is it?"

"It's Whelson..." she said, too gently, and he missed the rest of her response in a rush of relief.

It was the same day.

Essek was alive. Caleb was awake nearly two hours early. The loop had changed. Also, a baby.

He tentatively smoothed back it's pale wispy hair and it grabbed at his hand again. "Where did you come from, Mäuschen ?"

"Blaa."

"Hm."

"Caleb, if you're talking to me I can't hear what you're saying." Beau approached the door again.

"Okay, ja, just a minute." 

"What?"

He pushed himself out of bed and found his slippers, then turned back to the baby, who was trying to roll over towards him. "Let's get you up." He murmured, low enough to not worry Beau, and picked the baby up and set it on his hip the way he'd seen Veth do with her youngest. It grabbed his shirt with little hands and looked up at him with wide red-irised eyes. "Okay." I can handle this.

He crossed the room and opened the door. Time to have the conversation again.

Beau looked like she was about to offer him a hug, then did a double take. "Wait. Where did you get a baby?"

"No idea. Last week-" He pointed at her with his free hand. "You walked into your kitchen after work and found Yasha eating a lemon like an apple, peel and all, and she told you she thought it was just sour because it was going old, and you decided right then that you were going to propose to her next month at Rumblecusp."

She stared at him, emotional whiplash evident. "Yes. How did you know that?"

"You told me so that you would believe me when I tell you I am stuck in a time loop and need your help. And then you said, and I quote, but I probably won't think it's so farfetched that I need proof, that does sound like the sort of trouble you'd get yourself involved with ."

"There's no way my voice sounds like that." She exhaled shortly, then crossed and uncrossed her arms.  "Okay. Time loop. Wow. Yeah, that tracks. Huh. Didja know I was going to say that?"

"Ja."

"What am I thinking about right now?"

"That's not how this works. The things you think about are different if we have this conversation at different times of the day." He recited. So far, this was the same conversation they always had in this situation. Time to break the script. "And I have not yet talked to you at this time of day."

"Oh?"

"This loop is different. And I need your help."

"Woah. Okay. Uh. Okay. So what changed? Is that-" She pointed. "A time baby?"

"...What is a time baby."

"I dunno. You're the wizard."

"It's not- I don't know. Last cycle I finally succeeded in, ah." He bounced the baby a bit and took a deep breath. Let it out slowly. He'd quickly come to the conclusion that, in cycles where he did reach out to others, total honesty was the easiest option. It cut out small talk and if he did say something he regretted he wouldn't have to worry about it for long. Still, this was a hard one to admit. "Stealing a beacon."

"Oh boy."

"Ja. Well. If I need to study time, and all other research has been exhausted…"

"And if it's all going to get reset anyway? Because it's a loop?"

"Ja. But I am well aware of the irony."

"Yeah. That's, uh, huge."

"Well, I didn't get too far this time. The guards were quick."

"What did the guards do with you?"

"Oh, ah, they killed me."

"Fuck, man…"

"It happens."

"Fuck, man. "

"But I had it for a minute, and I attuned to it, and then they killed me and now the day is different."

"So the kid is new?"

"Very."

"And it's not a time baby?"

"You are just making that up."

"Doesn't mean it's not real. You think it's connected to the beacon?"

"That makes sense except for the fact that it doesn't. The beacons are powerful, but-" The baby babbled again and tugged at his shirt, trying to turn to look at Beau. He turned slightly to give it a better view. "This isn't what they do."

"Well. You're the wizard." She said, clearly unconvinced.

The baby blew a raspberry in commiseration.

"Think it's hungry? How often do babies eat?"

"Depends on how old they are."

They both considered the baby, trying to compare its development to Veth's baby Leo, who at 8 months still easily fit in the cupped palms of their human hands.

"Holds its head up." Beau observed. "Teeth?"

Caleb found no teeth.

"So no solids, probably."

"Ja, I think so."

They both wandered into the kitchen without having to discuss it. There wasn't much in there at the moment. Beau and Caleb had only come for a few days, for a final appeal and the execution. Neither of them had been in the mood to cook, so they'd mostly picked up meals from taverns and reheated leftovers. Caleb had been eating that same leftover rice every morning for months.

Beau searched through a cupboard. "Tea?"

"For us, at least." He passed her the baby so he could heat the kettle with a cantrip. She settled it in her arms and gave it the jade pendant of her necklace to play with.

"You know- well, I've probably told you, huh? Yash said something about adopting once, and I really like the idea."

"I didn't know that." 

"Oh." Her expression fell. "That wasn't really how I wanted to tell you, then. I mean, you already know I'm planning on marrying her… was planning…" She sighed. "I'm not going to remember this, am I? At the end of the day it's over for me?"

"Just after nine."

"Fuck."

"In the evening."

"That's not- that's still-"

He nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well." She blinked hard. This was the worst part of those cycles where he told her, anyone- the inevitable fear and grief when they realized that for all intents and purposes, they wouldn't survive the day. Only Caleb did, because only Caleb remembered.

He usually didn't tell people. It hurt as much as it helped.

The teapot whistled in his hands and the baby shrieked at it.

"You like that?" Beau asked it, in a wavering version of the voice she usually reserved for Caleb's cats.

"We can give it some warm water, maybe." Caleb suspected the spiced flavor of the tea Beau had found was not going to go over well for their new charge.

"Hydration. Yeah. Should find something real, too though. There's gotta be a shop with something."

"Ja." He knew roughly where Jester and Caduceus had shopped when they all lived here, though he hadn't been inside. "We'll do that."
He poured two cups of tea. Beau hunted through a drawer for a small spoon.

"Think this'll work?"

Caleb shrugged.

The spoon did not work. The baby had no interest in consuming warm water, which did at least seem to suggest it wasn't hungry, and did it's level best to get as much water on Beau as possible (not very much), and was then satisfied to gum on the spoon. Caleb prestigitated her dry.

"Oh. Is that new?"

"I've had a lot of time to read lately."

"How long?"

"A while." He said, and looked at her with sadder eyes than normal. Don't ask. You'll prefer not knowing this.

"Hm." She looked back to the baby, and attempted to get it to peacefully give up the spoon. The baby refused to relinquish it's prize. Caleb drank his tea.

"Looks like Essek."

And how was he supposed to feel about that? "Essek has violet eyes."

"Hmm." She reconsidered the baby's face, letting the hum trail on for a couple of seconds before she froze. "Hey, Caleb. Where do you actually think the baby came from." Her voice was flat, like she had just gotten her own idea of the answer.

"I don't know." His theory didn't make sense.

"Take a look at these eyes."

"Many drow have red eyes."

"No, look."

He peered over her shoulder at the infant, who looked back up at him, wide-eyed. Earlier, when he'd looked at those eyes they'd been red. He remembered them. But now they shifted with lights like stars and the drifting clouds of the expanse. He felt as though, if he focused right, he might fall into them...

"Blaafptt!" The baby broke eye contact and flung the spoon across the room. It's eyes were red again.

"You stole a beacon." Beau reiterated.

He nodded and leaned against the kitchen countertop. His legs seemed like they might decide to stop supporting him.

"And it you got a mote?"

"Actually, it- I didn't intend to start attuneing to it. It just pulled me in."

"That sounds… intentional."

"I hardly even looked at it."

"No, not you. The beacon. What if it wanted to give you a mote-" She held the baby up but it's armpits in front of him. "To take with you?"

"Intention. Do you mean..?"

"Like, I'm not an expert in this god stuff, but like. Something did something."

"Intention."

"Yeah."

"The Luxon is real." He finished, and snorted into his tea, then had to set his cup down as he was overcome with silent giggles.

"Yeah? What's so funny?" Beau looked deeply concerned.

"The Luxon is real?" He slid down to sit on the floor.

"Yeah?"

"Essek is going to be so upset." He couldn't stop laughing.

"Okay. You're under a lot of stress."

He waved a hand at her vaguely, like Ja, what else is new?

Beau took deep, calming breaths. Though she apparently didn't have strong feelings about the reality (potential reality?) of the Luxon's existence, she wasn't faring too much better overall. She gestured with her thumb over her shoulder in the approximate direction of the nearest staircase. "Well, I'm just going to give the kid a tour of the house and maybe get some air. I need some air."

Her footsteps retreated through the dining room. Caleb suspected she was leaving to have her own, entirely justifiable, breakdown about the inherently doomed nature of her current self. He noted with distant satisfaction that repetition hadn't yet completely dulled his care for her transient distress. But he hadn't yet learned the words to say to make that any easier for her, so he stayed where he was, mind spinning with his own revelations.

Essek had suggested that the Luxon was a fictional personification of the beacons' power. He had spent half a dozen tipsy evenings hashing out the same arguments about their magic being arcane, not divine, so the Luxon clearly wasn't what a god normally was, and if only someone (someone else) would start asking these questions...! But they also knew, from Jester's non-godly divine magic and Fjord's godly arcane magic that the distinctions between these things were not necessarily clear cut. 

He looked at the abandoned, spit covered, spoon on the kitchen floor beside him.

"What are you, Mäuschen?"

"Hey Caleb?" Beau called from upstairs.

"Ja?"

"Come up here for a minute."

"Okay, coming."

He found her on the tower, amidst the foliage and shrines, using her sash to shade the baby from the tree-lights.

"Did that happen before?" She said, pointing to the horizon.

To the east, beyond the Penumbra Range, the sky was taking on a faint rosy glow. Dawn was breaking, and the sun was rising on Rosohna.

Chapter Text

They got dressed, made a makeshift diaper out of a dishtowel, and stepped out of their house into the city. Down on the ground, amidst buildings and green arcane streetlamps, the dawn didn't yet show in the sky, but it would soon.

Logically, Beau knew that it likely wouldn't inspire panic. Confusion, probably, but daylight in the city wasn't considered a bad thing. People just usually had warning ahead of time. So it'd probably be fine. And there was certainly no reason people should suspect they had anything to do with it.

Still, the walk to the Gallimaufry district felt more dangerous than it had in a while.

The streets of Rosohna were never empty. People kept time there just as they did in any city in the world, but they didn't generally organize their lives by an arbitrary day-night cycle. People mostly just slept and woke whenever. Or tranced. Most shops were open 24 hours a day and meals mostly happened when people were hungry. The early morning hour wouldn't protect them from prying eyes, and, conspicuous as they were, they didn't want to answer questions about where they'd gotten an apparently drow baby. Caleb was hiding it in his coat, under his longest scarf, which looked a bit awkward and wasn't going to work once they left the neighborhood for busier streets. Hopefully, it wouldn't need to. No one seemed to be following…

The two of them slipped into a little park, hidden from spying windows above by the red-leaved trees, and Caleb prepared to cast Seeming. "Any requests?"

"Make me look hot."

"Hm." He twisted light in his hand and shimmered into the blue tiefling disguise he'd used once in Asarius, though with his regular Xhorhasian clothes.

"Oh sick ." Beau's skin was red and her chest was illusory-flat. She immediately checked down her pants.

"It's just an illusion."

"I know. "

Caleb disentangled the baby from his scarf and coat and it stared at his new face with alarm. "It's still me, Mäuschen , come on…"

The baby did not agree. 

"I'm me, too." Beau said, unhelpfully.

It startled to see her too and its eyes turned dark and starry again as it looked between them. They both froze, as whatever mysterious power it contained came to its esoteric conclusion.

Beau wondered suddenly if a baby that was probably a deity in elven form had an attack mode. She didn't particularly want to punch a baby, but if it came down to it, she would.

The eyes turned natural red again. The baby reached up and grabbed at Caleb's beard through the illusion.

"Ouch, no, not for you." He held the baby a bit lower, out of reach, and turned to Beau. "Well?"

"I guess that happened."

"I guess so."

They walked back out onto the street. Beau tried to decide if she was imagining a slight lightness in the sky. Maybe. It was a distraction, at least.

If she let her thoughts go loose she knew they'd wander back to the dread of the time loop, how her current self was temporary and would end when the loop reset, how she'd never see Yasha... Okay. She was spiralling. Distract, distract.

"Hey Caleb. Mouse chin?" She asked, intentionally butchering the pronunciation a bit.

"Mäuschen. It's Zemnian."

"I know. Little mouse. That's adorable."

"I'm glad you think so." He said dryly.

She fished about for some way to continue the conversation. "Careful about naming it, you'll get attached."

"I assure you, I'd come up with something better if I was actually naming a baby."

"I don't know... I've heard what you guys call your cats."

"Hm." He said, noncommittally.

Shit. Shit. Dread pooled in her stomach as she realized what she'd implied. Those weren't Caleb-and-Essek's cats anymore. Essek wasn't going to be calling cats, or a baby, anything. She wondered how many times she'd already watched him die.

"I mean-"

"I know, Beauregard." He gave her one of those smiles that meant he was actually broken-hearted and disconsolate. "Don't worry about me."

As if she could. "I'd rather worry about you than focus on myself, right now."

"Hm."

"Seriously, man, don't- especially when you get out of this, don't just pretend you're okay. It won't work anyway."

"...Noted."

They took a few more steps in silence, then he nodded back down to the baby. "Wrong sort of ears for a mouse, anyway."

"Yeah."

"And, overall, quite a bit bigger than one- oh, well, this looks promising."

They stopped in front of a general store.

Caleb nodded at the door. "My Rosohnan accent is better than it once was, but this might go better if you do the talking."

"Okay cool. What's our story? Babysitting? Yeah, okay." An idea sparked, and before she had time to think herself out of it, she took her hair down and shook it loose around her shoulders. 

"What are you-"

"Deep cover. Gotta sell the story. Don't question it." Don't overthink it. She pushed through the door, making a beeline for the counter.

The hobgoblin working there looked up politely as she approached and leaned against the counter.

"Can I help you?"

"Hiii… I'm Tracy ."

"Can I. Help you?"

Gods why was she doing this. She was just shopping. Her disguise was masc for gods sakes. She untucked a strand of hair from behind her ear and twirled it around a finger. "Yes. Do you sell baby formula here? Great. My friend, she was just like, oh, can you watch the kid for the week and I was like, of course, girl! But really- I don't know what I'm doing here. What do I need? To feed it? And how often?"

"Uh, I'm not- I don't know- How old is it?"

"Uhh… real little." She glanced back over to where tiefling-Caleb was holding the baby, apparently showing it a display of herbs and being actually fucking adorable. The kid was watching him with rapt uncomprehending attention. "Isn't it so cute though, just look at these little cheeks!"

"Well, um we do have formula, I think it's in the back? Uh, not a big seller, really. Do you need like everything, I guess? Like a bottle too?"

"Yepp!"

"I'll just go find that." 

"Great. Thank you soo much."

The hobgoblin fled. Beau felt Caleb's judgy look at the back of her head and turned to flip him off. "What?"

Oh. He wasn't judgy. He was frowning in the way that means he was actually incredibly fond.

"What?"

He just shook his head. "I've missed you."

How long had it been for him since they'd really interacted? What did he do on the days they didn't? In their before-lives in Rexxentrum, she made sure to see him a couple times a week, especially when Essek was out of town. Here, living at the Xhorhaus on one of the worst days of his life, he didn't even have his cats. Alone had never suited him. The magnitude of the situation threatened to overwhelm her again.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Gross."

The employee returned to the counter and Beau bought the proffered supplies with subdued dramatics. Caleb stepped closer to listen in on the faltering explanation for their use; instructions thus recorded for prosperity, they left the shop. Beau dropped a whole gold piece in the tip jar as she went.

"Byeee!"

"Th-thank you! Have a nice day!"

The door closed behind them and Beau groaned loudly.

"Why did I do that."

"It was very impressive how you made it work with the local accent."

"Ughhghh." She slumped against his shoulder. "This is my worst trait."

"Ah, yes, dog-earing books has no competition."

"Shut up . I said I was sorry."

"Tell that to my first edition Maximilian, with the pristine- oh wait…"

"Hey, man."

"Eebfghaa." Said the baby, and its eyes flickered again.

"Did you see that?"

"Ja, it happened once in the shop, too."

"Randomly, or?"

"I think so. I'm keeping track."

"Huh. You think this is another Sprinkle situation?"

"That is… horrifying."

"I mean, you're not Jester."

"Still." He frowned. "Well. That is a possibility, I suppose." 

"What are you thinking?"

"I've tried calling on our cleric friends to use divination to understand-" arms full, he just shrugged at the world around them. "-this, ah, situation, and they were unable to. Neither the Wildmother nor Artagan can explain today. But now, we know who might."

"It's gonna be a while before this kid can talk. If it can even age."

"Ja, well. It's not like I was asking Artagan personally, before, either."

"...Huh."

"And I haven't tried to speak to Uraya yet on this day. Maybe they'll help us, this time."