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Of course, the hypothesis that Monroe Vox had formed a few days ago was correct. They had gone out with Levi to a local fast food chain (Deviljacks) to grab a burger after a particularly difficult class on Devildom Literature.
"I really didn't know that Azeroth was an old man. You'd think he'd be around your age, but apparently not." Monroe sipped on their drink. Their steps synchronized with Levi's, though their legs and stride were considerably smaller.
"He's got a great beard. It reminds me of the wizard in the fourth arc of the original TSL live-action series." Levi's eyes sparkled. Monroe laughed, looking up at their blue haired boyfriend. They loved listening to him and his rants, it reminded them of their own passions and fixations.
The pair reached their car, Vox grabbing the keys from their pocket. The car was one of several that belonged to the House of Lamentation: it wasn't a sedan, but the car was large enough to transport several of the brothers. A small click, two clicks. The car unlocked and the pair got in. Vox grunted.
“Goddamnit, who drove this last? Was it Beel?” Levi looked over and laughed as they saw their partner a solid foot away from the steering wheel. Unfortunately, Vox was quite small compared to the average demon, so they had a bit of an issue trying to accommodate. The pair drove off, Vox telling Levi to use the Aux.
“If you play the Ruri Hana theme one more time I will lose my damn mind.” Vox had a twitch of annoyance in their face. “The fact y’all decided that driving on the left side of the road is enough to drain me of energy.” It was true, The Devildom had a unanimous decision that they should drive on the left side. The rumor is that Diavolo was inspired by a few human world nations. The reasoning? ‘There was more scenery on the right side, and I want to see it.’ That man would be the death of Vox.
Levi sighed and flipped through his phone, looking for the perfect playlist for the ride home. That was, until, he got a text. He opened the text and started laughing.
“OMG Vox we need to get home, ASAP.” Levi giggled, his eyes glued to what appeared to be a chat screen.
Vox had a tone of concern in their voice. “Wait why? What happened? Is there something bad going on at the house?” They flicked their eyes over to the demon in the passenger seat.
“LOLOLOLOL, no, not that. In fact, I think it’s a good thing. Do you remember when Lucifer turned into a peacock?” Monroe let out a large sigh and slumped over in the driver’s seat.
“Yeah. Did it happen to Mammon? Is he now some sort of animal and causing a ruckus?” Monroe was tired. Lucifer had just only apologized about the peacock incident earlier today, largely because he missed Monroe sleeping in his bed. Levi cackled.
“LmAOOOOOOO YEAH, HE’S A CROW RIGHT NOW” Levi yelled, and Vox winced. I mean, sure, it was nice to see him chipper and laughing, but now was not the time.
“Levi, please quiet down, I’m trying to drive.” Levi said an apology and went back, eyes glued to his phone. He giggled the rest the drive back to the HoL.
—--
Once at the House of Lamentation, Monroe carried several bags of food with them. Most of them were meant for Beel to satiate his appetite, the others for the residents with lesser stomach capacities. The door swung open, and Satan was there, red in the face from an apparent exertion of energy.
“Satan, please help me and Levi carry stuff in. I’m afraid if Beel notices he’s going to eat the entire bag before we can get to it.” Satan took a few deep breaths, and grabbed bags from his partner.
“Okay, as soon as you come inside and set the food down, you need to see this. It is amazing.”
With the food set down, and Vox finally able to breathe for a minute, they were rushed to the kitchen. There, Lucifer was using a broom as an extension to try to get, or more rather, hit, something out of sight. A familiar caw sounded and a crow sped across the kitchen, hiding in another corner of the cabinet corner.
“What the hell is going on?” MV looked around, making a face at Lucifer and his broom.
“As Levi probably told you, Mammon has turned into a crow. The unfortunate part about this, however, is that he has taken this opportunity to steal my credit card.” Lucifer grumbled, walking over to the other side of the kitchen with the broom.
“Alright, that sounds pretty spot on. Um, the food is here, I forget if you ordered anything specifically, but if you can get your brothers to get their food before the Tasmanian Food Devil comes and eats it all, that would be appreciated. As for your credit card, I will try to get it back while you eat. I think we both know that my rate of damage is much lower when retrieving items from Mammon.” Lucifer looked at Monroe and nodded. He gave the broom to them, kissed them on the head, and walked out to go help his brothers fight off the glutinous monster with ginger hair.
“Okay Mammon, Lucifer is gone. He went to go get some food that Levi and I brought home. It’s safe for you to come out now.” Monroe wasn’t entirely sure where Mammon had wedged himself. The kitchen was large, and the archaic cabinets didn’t quite reach the top of the ceiling. Thus, there was a large area of unknown when trying to retrieve the Avatar of Greed. Monroe paused for a minute, and then started to climb onto the counter. They balanced themself, and looked around for any sign of the bird.
“Mammon? You alright? You’re not stuck anywhere, are you?” Vox called out, looking around for any movement in the dark. A sudden shifting noise made them jump, and they felt their heart sink. Thank God they were holding onto the kitchen cabinet.
A fairly large crow came creeping out of the darkest corner of the cabinets. It was cautious enough to check the surrounding area, scanning for a certain black-haired fiend. The crow continued to shuffle its way to where MV was. Monroe took a good look at the crow, now slightly above their eye level. The crow was pearlescent black, a shiny color that accentuated unnaturally blue eyes. There was a singular white feather in the center of the crow’s forehead, and it swooped to the right.
“Ahh, there you are. Hold on.” Monroe gently reached their hand around the crow, and grabbed it. The crow cawed, freaking out for a minute. Monroe made a noise and anxiously checked behind them, making sure the counter space was large enough so they could take a step back. “Calm down Mams, it’s just me. I won’t hurt ya.” The crow seemed to take a deep breath and looked back at its human-like handler. Vox carefully grabbed the bird from the cranny, cradled it to their chest, and carefully got down from the countertop.
Mammon was very finicky when it came to touch. This instance was no different. Vox held the bird as it fought it's conscience on whether or not this was a good thing, but jumped when Vox entered the dining hall. They grabbed their food, the food bought for Mammon, drinks, condiments, and headed off to Mammon's room.
As per usual, his room was a mess. Clothes were strewn across the various couches and tables, and empty bottles of Demonus were tipped over. Monroe cleared a spot and set their and Mammons' food bags down, and they sat on the messy couch. MV found two dusty coasters and placed the drinks on them.
"Alright Mams. We are going to stay in your room until you are back to normal. Much like Lucifer, you are a walking target for pranks and antics, and knowing your siblings, they'd try to frame you for something a bird your size cannot do. Uh, I don't really know if this food is safe for you to eat right now..? I mean I've seen crows eat just about everything, but I'd hate for you to get a stomach ache." Monroe took their chicken nuggets out of the bag, and spread a napkin down. Mammon hopped from their shoulder to the table, looking expectantly up at Monroe.
"Uhh, I really don't want you to get sick." Mammon stomped his tiny foot and poked at his bag of food. "I mean Levi still has that birdseed from last time we had an avian incident." Mammon cawed and continued to rustle the bag. He got to the mouth of it, and dipped his head in.
"Oh God mam-" Vox tried to extract their feathery compatriot from the bag, bit to their exasperation, Mammon was already shoving fries down his gullet. Mind you, this was a particularly large fry, even for a full-sized crow. Monroe squawked as they stared at Mammon downing the french fry. Yes, they could get the fry out. But, they were not about to take their chances with shoving their fingers down a bird demon’s throat. Mammon turned his head to look at Vox as they stared at him, grasping his body between their hands.
“What did I just tell you?” Monroe stared at the bird, the blank, lifeless eyes of the crow staring right back.
“French fry.” Mammon spoke. Monroe made a face and guffawed at the voice. God damnit. This man, no, this bird was going to do whatever he pleases, and nobody will stop him. Vox continued to laugh in defeat, tears springing into their eyes.
“Mammon,” Monroe had to catch their breath as they continued laughing, “you can’t just eat these fries without any thought. I am afraid that your tiny little cardiovascular system won’t be able to handle the cholesterol.” Mammon squirmed in MV’s hands, wriggling himself free and going back to the fries.
“God damnit.” Monroe sighed again, trying to hold back a laugh. They tapped Mammon’s head and he looked at them.
“Okay, I will compromise. You are allowed to eat half of the fries that you have, and you have to save the other half for when you turn back to being human. In return, I will pick up your room while we wait for Solomon to come over and fix this.” The crow perked up and cawed. It was a deal.
Vox had rounded up the dirty laundry from around Mammon’s room. They were rustling through some sheets and found a familiar hoodie.
“Is this my hoodie?” Caw. “I have been looking for this for days! Why didn’t you tell me you had it?”
“I love you.” Vox stopped dead in their tracks. Mammon never said that. They turned their head to look over at the crow that had been previously downing fries like there was no tomorrow. How does a crow even look shocked? Apparently, Mammon had been caught off guard enough by eating fries to let that slip. Vox had a goofy smile on their face.
“Awh Mams, did you really just say that?” Monroe giggled. As if he couldn’t caw any louder, the crow basically screamed in a sequence of caws. Monroe walked over to the panicking bird and gently picked him up.
“Don’t worry, nobody heard you, it’s just us. I love you too, Mammon.” Vox cuddled the bird to their face, soft feathers brushing against their cheek. They could have sworn they heard a soft coo at that moment.
“As much as I’d be alright with you having that hoodie, it originally belonged to Beel. I borrowed it because I was doing the laundry and got cold. I need to return it, unfortunately.” Vox stroked the crow’s head, the crow looking a bit scared and intimidated. “It’s not a big deal, I’m just glad I found it. I would say you can have a different article of my clothing, but uh. I don’t really have that many items of clothing you could take without it being an issue. Even though you’re fairly skinny, you’re still taller than me. Which means, I’m not sure if any of my clothes would fit you. I mean, I can try to dig around to see if I have something, if you’d like.” A soft caw was given as an answer.
A quarter of an hour passed before Solomon arrived, followed in tow with Asmo.
“Oh my goodness!! Look at Mammon right now, he’s so silly. Let me get a picture to post to my Devilgram.” The crow, which had perched itself on Vox’s shoulder, shifted to hide behind their head. Solomon chuckled.
“Now Asmo, don’t harass your brother. Looking at the trend, I think this affliction may come upon you one day.” Solomon said as he approached Monroe. Monroe gently grabbed the bird from behind their neck and cupped it in their palms for Solomon to inspect. As much as they were intimidated by Solomon, they did appreciate his magical capabilities. Also, not to mention he got them into the Sorcerer's Society through technicality. A white smoke encased Monroe’s hands as Solomon recited words in an unknown language. When the smoke cleared, a slightly bewildered Mammon stood before them, scratching his head.
“Wait wha- I’m back? Hell yeah!” Asmo pursed his lips, he had only managed to get his phone out to take pictures.
With Mammon cheering, Vox gave the sorcerer a gracious ‘thank you’ and ‘I’ll keep you posted if anything else happens.’ He smiled and whisked Asmo away with him, and closed the door. Monroe turned around.
“Well, that was a whole debacle. I’m glad you’re back to your regular old self.” Mammon agreed as he chuckled.
“Thank ya for stoppin’ me from eatin’ too many of those fries. I’m still hungry, and food from Deviljacks is enchanted so it doesn’t go cold.” Mammon plopped himself down on the now cleaned couch, leaning over to grab a fry. He spoke while chewing:
“Oh- also! -munch munch- Thank ya’ for cleanin’ my room, Lucifer has been -munch- naggin’ me for the past week ‘bout that.” Mammon smiled, clearly enjoying his tidy room and meal.
“Oh it’s not an issue. I mean you nabbed Lucifer’s credit card while you were in crow form, so he’s still a bit ticked. I said I’d get it for him, but I’m sure he’s got it covered.” Mammon frowned, furrowing his eyebrows.
“It was either me evacuating you from the scene, or you being put into a bird cage with a massive receipt tied to it.” Mammon grunted and then took a bite out of his burger.
“Ya know, I really do appreciate ya doin’ the stuff you do. You’ve gotten me outta some deep shit.” It had taken a while for Mammon to be this open to Monroe. He guarded his emotions, it was only natural for a gambler to hide their true intentions to outsiders.
“It’s nothing. I’d rather avoid unnecessary conflicts. And, with your sin, I guess said unnecessary conflicts manifest in the form of kleptomania.” Mammon huffed, but Monroe went on. “Anyway, about the clothing. Once we finish our food- and throw it away and not leave it on the table- I can go see if I’ve got any spare clothes hiding in my closet. I’ve got some human-world clothes that I got for cheap, but man are they comfy. They’re also XXLs from the Men’s section, so they’ll be bound to fit you.”
“I’m not that big!” Monroe giggled.
“I know, I know. I mean sometimes, it’s just good to feel small and cared for.”