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Evelyn and her dæmon wandered among the towering bookshelves. Hundreds upon thousands of books filled them from near the top of the ceiling to down to the floor. Some books were old and dated as far back as nearly 100 years old. Others were new and had only just come off the press sometime that year. Most were somewhere in between. Books here and there were worn and used, showing their wear and tear over the many years; while others appeared to have never been touched by human hands since being placed on the shelves.
“I don’t see it anywhere,” Evelyn’s dæmon, Vegagarmr, growled as his furry tail swished from side to side as he padded back and forth in a small area of the library row they were on. His head darted about as he scanned the bookshelves by eyeing each book. “It might not be here anymore,” he said finally looking up at Evelyn.
“The computer said it would here and it looked like it wasn’t checked out the other day,” Evelyn said in her mind rather than out loud as she always did when talking to her dæmon, For greater emphasis Evelyn gestured to the section of bookshelves in front of them. Vegagarmr at down beside Evelyn as his auburn-red eyes scanned the shelves again.
Not that his looking at the books would actually yield any information Evelyn didn't already known, after all. Vegagarmr, Evelyn's dæmon, wasn't physically there after all. Vegagarmr was Evelyn's dæmon. Dæmons, as much as a dæmian might wish it to be so, were not physically there.
“What the computer says is one thing, but what actually is, is another. The book is not here. It could have been misplaced or already borrowed by someone else. Stolen maybe even. You know how that unfortunately happens in public libraries you know. It could be anything really. What was the book number, again?” Vegagarmr asked, sitting up and giving his large body of thick black fur a shake. This of course caused his dog shaped ears to flop about, which Evelyn always found very cute. Much to Vegagarmr's protest. He was certainly dog shaped, but he wasn’t a dog at all.
“1-3-...” Evelyn rambled off the number before trailed off for a moment at the last number and two decimal places as he scanned the bookshelves again. The spine labels all sported a series of numbers signifying their place in the library. Each book with its own unique number. But Evelyn didn’t see a book with the number or title they were looking for at all.
“Wait! Here it is!” Evelyn said under her breath out loud. Vegagarmr turned and leaned closer as Evelyn crouched down and pulled a fairly new book from a low shelf in front of them. Vegaarmr crouched down beside her, his tail wagging. "It was mis-shelved," she whispered. Evelyn gently flipped through the book in her hands, stopping at certain pages to scan a page or two but before moving on to flip through more pages. After a moment, Evelyn closed the book to look at the cover.
“Is that the book we thought it might be?” Vegagarmr asked nosing Evelyn’s shoulder slightly as he leaned closer. Not that Evelyn could physically feel the touch of his nose. It was all tactical hallucinations at best.
“Looks like it.” Evelyn said, opening the book and reading the first page.
“‘Looks like it?’” Vegagarmr echoed but Evelyn gave with no thought-response.
“Yep, it will do well enough.”
“Good,” commented Vegagarmr. With that, Evelyn stood and headed out of the rows upon rows of tall bookshelves. Vegagarmr trotting a few steps behind her.
Evelyn went straight to the library circulation center counter and set the chosen book down for check-out. The librarian quickly scanned it and Evelyn’s card before handed both back to her without another glance and with only a few short words of greeting. Most of the librarians knew Evelyn more than likely given how often she was in the library at any given time, Evelyn rarely spoke to them beyond polite greetings and good-byes. Evelyn sometimes wondered what they thought of her with all the strange books she often walked out the door with. With book in hand, Evelyn and Vegagarmr quickly turned and left through the main door.
Vegagramr had to dart around the door to avoid it "touching" him. Evelyn couldn't really afford to look to strange holding the door open for too long less people find her even more strange but the two of them also disliked reminders that Vegagramr was not physically there. He could pass through objects jus fine because he wasn't physically there. They just preferred to remain as realistic as possible when possible.
“Now where too?”
“How ‘bout we drive over to the park and walk around a bit? Get some exercise, enjoy the weather before it gets far too hot to enjoy the outdoors as much.”
“Sounds good to me. It's only a small hop away.”
So they walked directly across the parking lot to Evelyn’s car. As Evelyn opened the driver’s side door, Vegagarmr hopped in and then stepped over to the passenger’s seat. Evelyn sat down and set the book in passenger’s seat between Vegagarmr’s paws as she sat down and set her small backpack ,which mostly only held a few notebooks and her college textbooks, on the floor on the passenger’s side.
Vegagarmr preferred her to place in the passenger’s seat. He hated sitting in the back where he had less of a view of both the outside of the car and Evelyn herself.
Vegagarmr was a dæmon. A mental companion of Evelyn’s that only she alone could see and hear. He was only real in Evelyn’s mind’s eye as far as the rest of the world was concerned. Vegagarmr was, in his most basic sense, her glorified imaginary friend and mental construct of sorts as far as the world was concerned, but it Evelyn he was so much more.
It took less than five minutes for Evelyn to pull the car out of the parking spot and drive along the block that skirted the park to its own personal parking lot. The park was right next to the library making it a super quick drive. Evelyn sometimes saw people reading in the park and wondered how often some of them had also come from the library.
At the park they enjoyed just walking around the paths over and over again. As they walked, they watched squirrels run about the ground and among the trees, people walking by, and kids playing. At one point, for a short bit they played a joking game of ‘what dæmon might that person have?’ for before tiring of it. Most of the time though, they just walked and made some sparing small talk now and again.
As always as Vegagarmr unusual manners, he mostly stuck right beside her like an actual physical dog trained to heel. He always preferred walking right beside her. It was only when another person occasionally was coming in the opposite direction that he would fallback and walk directly behind Evelyn or move to walk in front of Evelyn until they passed them. At which point he would move back to walk beside her. He naturally liked to keep up a kind of ‘corporeal facade’ about his actions and reactions.
A thought struck Evelyn at one point during their walk. She sighed. It had been several years that they had been together. It seemed like longer. Vegagarmr followed behind and beside her everywhere she went now. Seeing him was almost a completely automatic and unconscious thing anymore. She could hardly remember life without him now.
After a fair number of laps around the park they wondered over to a secluded stone picnic table to sit at. Evelyn sat on the table with her feet planted on the seat while Vegagarmr laid right beside her on the table.
“Hellhounds, Black Dogs, ghost dogs…” Evelyn rambled off as she scanned through pages of the book they had borrowed. Evelyn turned her head to glance at Vegagarmr behind her for a moment before turning back to the book. “‘In folklore across much of the world, tales of large black dogs often haunt the night. Stories of these hellish hounds primarily originate from Europe with famous Black Dogs such as the Black Shuck of Norfolk, the Gurt Dog of Someerset, and Padfoot of Wakefield. These usually nocturnal apparitions are often associated as hellhounds and are considered by many to be demons and omens in dog form. For some they are protective creatures. For others an omen of death. Whatever their purpose the phantom black dogs have appeared in many shapes across many countries.’” Evelyn read aloud now that they were away from earshot of other people.
She didn’t speak again until she found a passage that she found amusing again. “In some stories, black dogs are often said to have followed people unseen only to those whom the dog haunted.” Evelyn turned her head away from the book to look at her dæmon, “I guess have my own personal Black Dog in the form of my dæmon.” Vegagarmr lifted his head from his paws and inclined his head.
“Because of that and because of the fact part of my name is derived from the famous mythological guard dog that watches over Hel’s gate in Norse mythology? Garmr?”
“That too. After all, you do look a lot like them, and the fact you act a lot like a Black Dog in that certain way.”
“‘A hound it was, an enormous coal-black hound, but not such a hound as mortal eyes have ever seen.’” Vegagamr said, quoting the line out of memory.
“You just love that quote from Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Hound of the Baskervilles, don’t you?”
“It suits no?”
“Yep, you’re a curse alright…”
“Not that! Not only am I a coal black hound just like the ghostly black dogs. My eyes are red.”
“Your eyes are reddish brown actually.”
“Kill joy…” Vegagarmr chucked nudging her with his head, but Evelyn couldn’t feel it though. She often wished she really could. “Yes, you’re a very dangerous dæmon- I mean, demon - dog.” Evelyn said slowly more mussing on her thoughts.
“That’s a bad pun,” Vegagarmr remarked. He had also grown somber sensing the thoughts and mood now running through Evelyn's mind. Yes… as natural as it was to see and hear him, Evelyn could never truly see or hear Vegagarmr.
“So it is.”
“So it was.”
A sound from above their heads sent both of them looking up into a tree after a moment, breaking their thoughts. In the trees over them two squirrels had begun to chase each other throughout the tree. Vegagarmr stood as his tail lightly wagging and his tongue slightly hanged out of his mouth as Evelyn remained sitting and just staring focusing on the movement.
They watched the squirrels for a while until they finally moved out of view. After which, Evelyn pulled out her phone to check the time only to realize how late it had become, causing her to stand up.
“It's nearly 5 o’clock. We should head home.”
“Fair enough.”
The drive home only lasted a few minutes. Evelyn’s parents were gone on a trip for two days and they would be back tomorrow night. Evelyn had decided to stay home rather than go along. She preferred not to skip and miss any college classes.
After settling in, Evelyn checked her favorite websites for anything new and of peculiar interest. After checking her email, Evelyn moved over onto TDF. TDF, or The Dæmon Forum was a place for people like her. People who also had dæmons. On the forum, Evelyn read through the latest chapter update on a story a member had been writing and adding to the forum over time, She then posted a short conversation that passed between her and Vegagarmr that day that had been notably funny and interesting in the “Dæmons Say the Darnest Things” thread. While broausing, Vegagramr occasionally made comments or gave input. Throughout this time, Vegagarmr laid up against Evelyn's chair.
After a while of browsing the internet, Evelyn decided to go into the living room and slip a DVD in to watch. After some rooting around and light discussion as to what to watch he finally settled on the movie, Avatar. As the movie started the two of them settled onto the couch with Evelyn laying lengthwise across the couch sitting up and Vegagarmr laying along her feet with his head on top of her leg. After the movie, Evelyn pulled out the book on black dogs again as she still laid on the couch.
“What’s this?” Evelyn asked after a while, something in the text catching her attention. The page was taken-up by a large box decorated to look like old scroll paper. At the top, above the text was the image of what reminded Evelyn of an old woodcut. The rough image was of a large shaggy dog standing in front of a young man facing off with several men carrying pitchforks and clubs. The title just below the image read, “Call of the Guardian.”
“‘Throughout the ages, some folklores have spoken of a spirit which took the form of an animal which accompanied a person. In Norse mythology, such a spirit was referred to as a fylgja. Like some folktales of black dogs, rather than being harbingers of death, were actually guardians. As folklores mingled, spells calling upon these accompanying spirits began appearing.’” Evelyn glanced down the poetic lines below the wall of text. Vegagarmr hopped his head up as he listened more intently.
“An incantation to summon a black dog,” Vegagarmr murmured, “seems like a dead ringer for a dæmon by description.”
‘Similar doesn’t mean same,” Evelyn noted running a finger down the side of the line text as she began quietly speaking the lines:
Shadow of thy soul I beseech thee,
Guardianship is what I wish for me.
Vegagamr rose onto her haunches, suddenly serious and attentive. Evelyn felt a strong fluttering in her chest as she continued:
From my heart I call you to this place,
Light my path now and evil give chase.
“Evelyn,” Vegagamr said suddenly, causing Evelyn to stop speaking the verse aloud. “We forgot to get the mail.” The realization clicked with Evelyn as they both rose from the couch, Evelyn setting the book down on coffee table as they walked to the door. The time. They realized what time it was. Evelyn went directly to the front door not even bothering to put any shoes, unlocked the door, and stepped out. The sun almost completely set already as Evelyn walked across the yard to the mailbox.
Everything seemed quiet. Their street rarely got much traffic outside of when a lot of people were going to or getting off work. There weren’t any kids out playing about given the neighborhood didn’t have many families with young children. In fact, a good majority of the street’s residents were elderly couples or simply people with kids already grown. Evelyn fit into the category of being full grown she but still living at home with her parents to get through college.
Evelyn was to the mailbox by the street when what was happening across the street caught her eye. The couple who lived across from them were both rather elderly and had only one car. They had several children who now had young ones of their own, but Evelyn was familiar with their cars and faces as well. He recognized neither the lone truck idling in their driveway now with one guy standing by or the other man fiddling with the front door to a dark house.
In that instance of Evelyn noticing them, they also noticed Evelyn. The man near the truck made eye contact with her before glancing at the house before back at Evelyn.
“Evelyn, run!” Vegagarmr barked as the man lurched into motion. Evelyn spun around in an instant and ran to the house without looking back. Before Evelyn could even make it halfway across the yard to the front door, she slipped in the grass. Her knees hit the ground hard sending a jolt of pain up her legs. The first man gained ground on her quicker than she could gain momentum as she tried to run again. Evelyn wouldn’t make it anywhere near into the house in time.
“Evelyn!” Vegagarmr barked. The voice startled her. Evelyn recognized the voice as Vegagarmr, but the voice was clearer. She felt like she actually heard. Then she heard a sharp deep growl began to curl in the air. Evelyn glanced behind her, had the men heard it too? The had slowed, his head turning but her was only a few strides away and was still coming toward her.
Her thoughts zipped back to the spell from the book. The sound was too near. Far too close. Far to real. There were no large dogs lived in the neighborhood. What were those last lines of the spell from that book?
The other hand had caught up the first, but they both stayed a few strides away from Evelyn. It was then Evelyn noticed they were carrying knives. They could close the distance before she could make it to the door. Seeing no dog, the men seemed to steel themselves again and began to move forward. At that moment Evelyn didn’t try and rationalize anything she just hunted in her mind for those last two lines.
“Evelyn?” The voice of Vegagarmr asked cutting off a growl to suddenly speak. In that moment, she remembered the lines:
Appear unto me guardian beast,
Take fleshen form and now be released!
The last lines reawakened the tingling she had felt a moment ago in her chest and… nothing happened. Nothing. She didn’t hear the growling anymore. Evelyn was still scramming to get her legs working again in the same instant still. Everything was happing all at once. He was about to scream when a loud nearby bark ripple through the air with a small shockwave.
For a confusing instant Evelyn felt an energy build and then slowly erupt from her chest. He felt it hang against her, invisible for a moment before it moved away from her body. Evelyn felt, sensed, and knew it to be Vegagarmr somehow. She had felt him leave her, their connection stretching and a piece of herself close to her heart go outside of her. As the energy and Vegagamr moved away, he rapidly became visible as a shapeless swirl of specks of light for a brief second before in a flash four large black paws hit the ground just beside her. Evelyn saw him. Really saw him standing there in between her and the men, Vegagarmr’s back facing away from her. She was real and tangible. Vegagarmr - Evelyn’s dæmon.
One of the men swore aloud.
Vegagramr was still growling, a sound which reverberated through him like nothing other. His teeth bared to reveal his sharp white canine-shaped teeth. Evelyn felt his energy follow through her and she knew he felt the same too. Vegagarmr turned his head slightly to look back at Evelyn standing behind him. His eyes an auburn red and his fur jet black. A silent unspoken knowing conversation passed between them.
In an instant Evelyn knew of Vegagarmr’s plan. The men still both held their knifes and were still as dangerous as ever. Both Evelyn and Vegagarmr really were still one, and one swipe of a blade could injure them both surely. Vegagarmr planned to bluff them and to make them leave on their own accord.
Vegagarmr turned his head back around to face the men. He hugged the ground in a crouch, his lips pealed back in a snarl, as his fur stood up at attention.
The men were not keen to react. They seemed in shock. Under normal circumstances they might have reacted in some way, but not now. Had Vegagarmr been a normal dog which had just ran into the yard they might have reacted in a flash, but seeing a black dog appear out of thin air had left them taken aback and confused. And what stood before them wasn’t a small dog either. They chanced glances at each other but made no immediate move.
Vegagarmr lowered his head and took a step forward causing the two men to take a step back. One man raised his knife higher, but his body posture had changed. Vegagarmr made a false lung forward causing one of the men to curse aloud. Evelyn was backing away from them and towards the house.
“Get out of here! I’m calling the cops!” Evelyn cried out, more boldly than she felt.
One of the men cursed out load, calling for Evelyn to get the dog away from them in not so kind of words. Vegagarmr’ tail waved about high as he gave off another loud bark, which seemed to unnerve them to the point of no return. For a moment they moved slowly backward. The sound of a car coming up the road caused the men to fully break into a run. The men ran to their idling car across the way.
Evelyn didn’t wait to watch them leave. She turned and ran into the house and locked the door behind them. She wasted no time grabbing a phone and dialing 911. A corporeal Vegagarmr right at her reels and pressed against her side she sat on the floor trembling as she explained to a 911 operator what had happened.
“It’s alright,” Vegagamr’s said after the phone call ended and the cops were on their way and Evelyn wrapped her arms around him. “Everything will be alright.”
~ ~ ~
“Evelyn. Evelyn.” Evelyn awoke with a start at her name being whispered. She looked around slightly confused until she realized and recognized Vegagarmr’s presence and warmth against her above the bed covers. Evelyn reached out and rubbed his left ear and side of his head. He was really real - a real physical dæmon. Everything really hadn’t been just a dream. Or had it been a nightmare at first? He was still there. The touch was like nothing other. He might have been shaped like a dog but he one. He was her dæmon. There was a connection between them, and they were still one, just in two bodies. He wasn’t just an animal-shaped mental construct anymore. He was physically real.
Evelyn had found herself so tired afterward. They had stayed up for hours into the very early morning.
The police had arrived swiftly only a few moments after Evelyn had made the call. Vegagramr had sat behind her acting as uninteresting as a large breed dog could look. He actively avoided trying to catch the officer’s attention. They didn’t want the police to worry about a possibly aggressive dog investigation or encourage a cop to try to pet Vegagramr thinking him just a dog. Neither would have turned out well. He had just stayed glued to Evelyn’s side and avoided looking at the police offers or moving much. The police had stayed just long enough to take Evelyn’s statement, get a physical description of them men and their truck, and get what contact info she had on her neighbors. While giving the statement, Evelyn avoided mentioning a dog’s involvement as much as possible. Evelyn also had called her parents to let them know everything was alright. She did neglect to mention Vegagramr, though. That could come later. Was there a later though?
They took pictures together on Evelyn’s camera, talked until their voices grew nearly horse, watched their favorite movies by Studio Ghibli, and wandered all about and around the house unwilling and slightly unable to sleep. Evelyn didn’t bother getting online onto TDF to cry out how her dæmon was physically real. No one would have believed her anyway, even if she had the photos and everything. That didn’t matter, anyway. Yelling to the top of the hills about dæmon s didn’t matter.
Vegagarmr had had to insist to Evelyn just to lay down rather than continue to stay up more. Evelyn had not wanted to sleep at all. Not so much fearful for the robber’s return but more for the shock of having her dæmon appear out of thin air and not wanting to let himout of her sight in fear of Vegagarmr disappearing just as easily. When they finally did lay down, she had fallen asleep almost instantly.
Now as Evelyn lay on the bed with Vegagarmr beside her, they could hear birds were starting to sing though it was still completely dark. Dawn was not far away. Evelyn was still exhausted but was awake right then.
“Evelyn, you know this will all come to an end soon.” Vegagarmr said solemnly after a moment as his warm eyes looked into her.
“I know…” Evelyn breathed out gently, gulping down something in her throat. “I’ve known it deep down. I can just… feel it. I didn’t want to sleep because of it.”
“This won’t last much longer. I can already feel it. I’m slipping away again, little by little.” Evelyn simply nodded. he could feel it too. Vegagarmr nuzzled her size. Whatever made up Vegagarmr physical body was now breaking a part and the essence of his slipping back into her mind. Whatever had happened earlier wouldn’t last, and everything was already starting to unravel even though it had only been a few short hours ago that everything had taken place. He was slowly vanishing before her every eyes.
“Do, do you think the spell could work again?” Evelyn asked weakly. “Maybe? Maybe, we could keep using it every so often when we’re alone. We could go camping and…” Evelyn’s words failed as they trailed off as Vegagarmr’ eyes looked into hers.
“No. No, not likely. It may have been a onetime deal. Maybe it can only work when the need is there.” Vegagarmr said slowly.
“I need you. I need you now.”
“I’ll always be right here for you. Even if we can’t physically touch.”
“We could still try maybe? Maybe one day it might work again?”
“You can’t wish our world away on another dream.” Vegagarmr nosed her. “No. The spell - the miracle – is not likely to work ever again. Don’t waste your life trying to get this moment back.”
“That’s how life works, huh?” Evelyn asked more to herself then Vegagarmr. “You don’t always get what you want in the long run.”
“But you do get what you need,” Vegagarmr added, nuzzling her again.
“Maybe.”
“Regrets?” Vegagarmr asked raising his head up straight to look even more directly at her again.
“Never. By some scant chance we managed to run them off without any harm. They could have robbed the house… or,” Evelyn stopped and fearfully considered her words, “… or even killed me. The spell. The spell actually worked.”
“I am grateful that I was able to do what I did. Though I can’t understand how the spell could have worked.” Vegagarmr mussed.
“I am grateful, however it happened. Even if it worked just this one time.” Evelyn stopped for a moment to think before carefully adding, “Besides,” Evelyn reached out and touched her own dæmon again along his head and neck, “it seems worth it enough for this. This here is enough. Even if it’s only just this once.”
“Will you miss this?” Vegagarmr asked not needing to say what as Evelyn began to play with his left ear between her fingers.
“Yes, terribly. I always thought about it jokingly. What it would be like to actually touch and feel the presence of a dæmon beside you. If dæmons were real; physically real, I mean. How great and terrifying that would be. But you know the old saying, ‘No use crying over the inevitable.’”
“For too long,” Vegagarmr added in solemnly.
“For too long.” Evelyn corrected herself a tear rolling slightly down her face.
Vegagarmr stood slightly and crept even closer to Evelyn, coming up along her so his front paws was up and over her shoulders and his body lay right up against her. Vegagarmr gave her cheek a lick to wipe away the line of tears. His dog-shaped nose then pressed against her neck with most of his body weight off to the side of Evelyn rather than directly on top of her.
“Once is enough. I can savor this and remember it always.” Vegagarmr laid his head down and relaxed at Evelyn’s quiet words.
“You will never forget.” Vegagarmr said. It wasn’t a question for she knew it to be true. Evelyn rubbed Vegagramr’s back slowly as they laid together. Awake, but not talking for a while.
Evelyn could feel him slipping away beside and on top of her more quickly now. Much more dramatically. Evelyn could actually feel the weight of Vegagarmr’ body slowly lessen and lessen as the seconds ticked by. It really wouldn’t last much longer now.
Evelyn sighed as tears gently slid down her face freely. Evelyn didn’t sob or grimace. The tears simply came across her relaxed face. Before she knew she was already beginning to slip back into sleep as Vegagramr physical body broke apart. Evelyn’s hand subtly fell onto the bed as Evelyn finally descended into unconsciousness. That was the moment Vegagarmr disappeared physically all together. He faded out of physical existence all together not in a shower of light but simply as whisps of Dust.
However, Evelyn slept soundly and deeply with a slight smile on her face. For still a dæmon, both in her mind and by her side, lay. Even if she could no longer physically feel him and no one else could see him any longer. To Evelyn, her dæmon still lay beside her. That was all that mattered then.