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Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized.
(Shakespeare)
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Call me but friend, and I'll be alive.
Immortal.
Even if far away from this world.
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Dear Mother and Father,
I am alive. Lord Dio is gracious and forgiving that way. He
That's right, you don't know about Lord Dio. Who
can you imagine that there's a person, some weirdo fortune teller, who was so ungracious that he ran before he could be happy and
but even so if he doesn't trust
I also don't trust
I don't quite trust Lord Dio
I would only trust a friend and if he's not
he's not
I don't trust
I don't trust
if I die
I don't trust
I
and
and
Fuck, I'm jealou
The weather is great today. Right, I can write. I thought so.
Which means I still have my own freewill and I don't have any strange misgivings. And I know you don't believe in my Hierophant, but somehow, my Hierophant - you know him, though you don't, I drew him on Mother's day's card for mom when I was little, remember? Remember? - is feeling a bit antsy.
It's probably just a headache.
I'm not sure why I'm going to burn this letter in a minute or two, but it's certainly my own decision. Likely because
and I love you.
Yours, well, after Lord Dio's, naturally,
one and only,
Noriaki Kakyoin
P.S. Take care of my cactus, please, it's been a month, I think that's long even for a cactus. His name is Bill, I bet I forgot that, so I'm reminding you.
Love,
Noriaki Kakyoin
huh, I can write that I love you. I guess that's not anthitetical to Lord Dio? Besides, it's no secret?
I love you, mom and dad, I love you I love you I love you I love I love you I love you I'm a coward but I'm happy to be alive still
no, wait, I'm not a coward
a coward would not be in service to the great and mighty Lord Dio hey do you know I might've killed somebody yesterday I'm not sure please if he had any family give them my condolences if not
I love you I love you I love you and don't
miss me
Cheers,
Noriaki Kakyoin
P.S. I haven't even written my parents' address. I really don't have to burn this, you know?
And then the teenager burnt the letter.
It's been a month since he met the almighty Lord Dio for the first time.
Burnt letters smelled funny and Kakyoin still wasn't sure why this letter to parents, just like yesterday's and the one before and the one before and the one before and the one before and the one before and the one before and the one before that,
Kakyoin had burnt.
It must've been his own decision.
Geez, his hair was a mess. He really should comb it now before meeting Lord Dio again.
It's just that for some reason, his own face, especially his own forehead with a slightly weird thing in it (a gift from Lord Dio, so no one was complaining), seemed just a tad repulsive to him right now.
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Hey, Mom, and Dad if you have a bit of time to read this inane thing,
Am I a missing person right now? Just curious. Or maybe you haven't noticed yet?
Mom, if I say that I'm having a sleepover with a friend, will you believe me? I'll write that next week. I will somehow make it believable. After all, I'm a genious and I'm a good son.
I think I'm going to murder somebody next month. Is that evil? No, Lord Dio says that only those who lose are evil, but somehow. And I thought that way, that only losers are evil, when I was thirteen years old maybe, but somehow
somehow
somehow
fuck it all, fuck you, and fuck you, too, but, somehow
Somehow I'm feeling a bit insecure, on that, even though Lord Dio
well
you know.
Weird.
Still, I'm only myself so far, still, am I not?
Tell me, Mom. I need to know. I'm certain, but I'm not certain if I
no, wait, that almost sounded like a blasphemy. I think I'm going to burn this letter, it's fucking stupid.
My head hurts, that's why I'm cussing in a letter to you (and dad). I would never cuss in a letter to you otherwise.
Right, that's why I'm going to burn this right now. Because cussing in a letter to one's beloved parents is just evil.
So I can freely say now
on second thought
Isn't Lord Dio a bit weird?
Love,
Noriaki Kakyoin
P.P.S. Who are Joe-stars and are they evil? Please tell me they are evil. Otherwise, I will feel slightly guilty about something I'm going to do once the school starts.
Because I'm going to kill some Joe-stars. And, yes, this is just some normal surname, and I tried to write it normally, but I have a bit of a nausea and I have to cheat, like on an exam.
Yes, I cheated on exam. Once. Sorry! I was just twelve years old dammit.
Love,
Noriaki Kakyoin
P.P.P.P.S Please tell me that the young Joe-star is a very evil brute. I hope he is. in a month or two from today I'm going to murder him so hopefully he's as evil as Sauron. Or at least Saruman. I know you've read the books.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.P.S. I haven't even written my parents' address. I really don't have to burn this, you know? Logically. So I bet I won't burn this. There you go.
I'm not sure why I'm going to burn this letter rn, but I'm sure I have my reasons?
Take care and don't come to Cairo, ever. Love,
Noriaki Kakyoin
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An hour later, Noriaki Kakyoin burns this letter, too. Of his own free will, he's almost sure. He feels like he's lost some bet with Hierophant Green right now, though, and he feels slightly ashamed of himself, as if, for a moment perhaps, he was evil?
Or something.
Or at least very impolite.
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Ashes of these letters might be very close to Cairo.
Then again, the desert wind probably already took them, freeing them. Maybe they can even go back home, to Kakyoins. For a more fulfilling ending. Who knows?
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Jotaro Kujo,
I'm going to kill you today with my Stand. I hope you don't have loving parents. That you're an utterly useless and badly raised son and that you don't even respect them so they won't be worried. Somehow I hope that. That I'm not killing anyone who matters, as I'm not that evil. Listen, I'm not
I'm not that evil
I'm not I'm not I'm not trust me please I
or don't
fuck you. also, I have a suggestion, a proposal if you will, if you just don't move much when we fight, I can murder you almost painlessly, so that none of us feels bad, see, I'm suggesting this even though we are strangers and I give no fucks about you. Because my parents raised me well and I'm no sadist, even if Lord Dio might be a sadist, I don't know, I haven't asked. Dammit, forget what I said. I'm not sending this version, let's try something else.
I will murder you so what am I saying? don't even fucking care, I can kill strangers especially thugs like you all day and
Noriaki Kakyoin
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Burnt. Okay, why would he write anything?
But an hour later, he decided to just write a simple... challenge... boast? If anybody asked him, he wouldn't be too sure.
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Jotaro Kujo,
I'm going to kill you today with my Stand.
Noriaki Kakyoin
Somehow, he, Noriaki Kakyoin, right after writing this stupid thing, yes, it was moronic, he felt, but he, he, he, he himself now for sure he felt if only for a second (or was he wrong? or not?), he felt such a relief, being able to write again to somebody without then burning the message down.
It just felt wonderful. Simply - like suddenly feeling a bit more like himself again. Was, perhaps... was communication such a good thing, even between enemies (?) or strangers?
If Hierophant could speak any human language, he'd probably now say to him I told you so, I told you so, you've been weird these past few months, and so was I, maybe, and suddenly Noriaki Kakyoin wondered: under Lord Dio, am I free?
And if not, would I know?
Would Hiero even know?
are you lonely? Hierophant asked, just without words, just with feelings. Kakyoin understood those - feelings -impulses -because he and Hiero communicated that way even when Noriaki was two years old. (Before that, communication was impossible. Babies don't communicate. That's a fact.) Should leave that man?
Noriaki Kakyoin shook his head. There was no leaving Lord Dio, because Lord Dio said so, that there was no leaving, and so that was... right? Wait, maybe that was slightly circular. But it was the truth (?) so it was so. At least, because
he didn't like headaches. So. That's how it is.
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Dear Mom and Dad,
I think I should write something. It's going to be fifty years until I see you again, but I am, in fact, fine. And the Joestars aren't evil. I was.
Take care,
I will see you in fifty days, and I can't say where I am because you'd tell the police, but honestly, I haven't run away from home.
Maybe a little. But it's for- friends.
See you soon (in fifty days),
your son, still,
Noriaki Kakyoin
P.S. I'm not sure if I killed anyone during - back then - and I'm not certain I want to know.
P.P.S. Whether I come home in fifty days from now or eighty, if, mom, dad, if you ever meet mister Joestar the I don't even know really, or mister Abdul the fortune teller, or even mister Polnareff the Frenchman, or a thug called Jotaro Kujo, please give him the respect you'd give Hirohito. That's all I ask. I respect Jotaro as much as I respect Hirohito, and ditto mr Joestar, and ditto Mr Abdul, maybe not Polnareff, as he, like me, was under influence once, but I think I might forgive that, even before I forgive myself. They saved me, and more importantly, they, especially JoJo (Jotaro) saved Hierophant Green. I hope Jotaro forgives me for trying to murder him? Probably not, he just does not care much. If I could be friends with him and mr Joestar and Polnareff and mr Abdul - wait, this is not a fantasy. This is not a fairytale. They saved Hiero, but I should not count my chickens before they are hatched, as they say in England. Right. You still don't believe in Hierophant. Which is like not believing in wind because you can't see it, but, that's fine. I still love you because you love me despite not always seeing me and that's perhaps, I've realised recently, important, too. Because it's not your fault. I know that now that I met people who can see. It's not as if they chose it, and neither did you.
So I'm choosing to live a full life, for years hopefully, instead of choosing to live in fear, for years.
And I love you.
Now it's gotten too sappy. If I can't send this without JoJo or Polnareff seeing it accidentally, I'm going to - not burn it, because I'm fee now, but just stuff it in my pocket for later.
P.P.P.S. The proper term for Hiero (yes, I remember that I used to call him that when I was little, and I'm only writing it (I hope Jotaro's not looking) (Jotaro if you are looking you are dead) so that you know it's me, not whatever I was under Dio - the proper term for Hiero is 'a Stand'. Find a Tarot deck in my room, please. I will explain more later. That's a promise. Unless I die. Then Jotaro will explain because he's short with words so it won't take much time. JoJo (Jotaro) didn't react, so it means he's not reading over my shoulder, but really sleeping. This was a test.)
I love you, Mom, Dad. I will send this letter once I am hundred percent certain that I and everyone I like in this motley group is going to make it through this African tour mostly alive, at least.
Take care,
one and only and now standing proudn,
Noriaki Kakyoin.
P.S. If I bring home - after the journey,because they won't die during it, you see, Mom and Dad and Ryoko, and neither will I, I won't die, we're all feeling pretty immortal here far from Japan, you see, if I bring home Polnareff and Jotaro, and I will say they're my friends who have 'imaginary friends' as you call them, too, and you will see that Jotaro is not insane (maybe?) even if you could make the case for Polnareff, won't that be funny? And we will all smile. Even JoJo.
Don't tell him I said he'll smile just like that for no reason. I do treasure my life.
Yours and theirs,
Noriaki
see you
P.P.S. I'll write the next letter from Cairo, after I spit on not-Lord (he's no Lord of mine)- on Dio's grave. Er. A vampire. Yeah, yeah, I have a rich imagination, fine.
Let's just call him a thug. A thug Dio. I'll spit on his grave. I'm sorry. I know that's not how you raised me, but I will. See you soon, Mom, Dad.
I'm not sending this. I'll keep this in my pocket. Jotaro, or mr Joestar, or Polnareff, or Iggy, if either of you is reading this, I'll kill you right after I wake up. Why are you reading my letters while I'm apparently far too deeply asleep? Jerks! I hate you all. (Insert sarcasm here. If Jotaro's reading. Because he does not always understand obvious things.)
Mom, Dad, I love you. Just as much as I love my friends now. Wait, that sounds a bit awful to say. It hasn't even be fifty days since I met my friends. But, mother, father, if you remember what I told you about Hiero when I was still naiive enough to talk about him - if you, after I return, look me and my friends straight into the eyes - you will understand, I hope, even if you still don't believe.
By the way, I won't die. I haven't set out to bring anybody sorrow, that's not me. So I won't kill myself charging foolishly into something I can't take. You see, Hierophant Green is long distance Stand (I'll explain in a few weeks, Mom), so I'm safe. I'm perfectly safe with my friends. I trust them with my life, and so should you. (If I happen to die, it's not Mr Joestar's or JoJo's or Iggy's or Polnareff's fault, by the way,only some miscalculation of mine. Blame Dio.) And they trust me with theirs. So trust them. Please, Mom, Dad, trust them.
Now I've written way too much. No way I'm going to show my parents' this letter. I'll write a censored version tomorrow.
P.P.P.S. Tonight I'll be sharing a room with Polnareff. Polnareff, if you're reading this, I'm cutting off your legs tomorrow. As a sign of our great friendship. Because friends don't betray each other's trust. Which means your legs are safe, forever, so, don't worry. But if you do try to read anything private, you might regret it, just a bit. And I WILL know. Hierophant would tell me. Love, Noriaki Kakyoin.
P.P.P.S. I won't to see flamingos again. Last time, JoJo (Jotaro? He's maybe almost my best friend but I still flip-flop on what's the best name for the jerk) didn't even look when I told him. Flamingos are great because they are related to grebes. I'll tell Jotaro tomorrow. I think he prefers grebes to flamingos, because he's all about water environments. And I do know, but I think it's a secret. Which is why I won't show anybody this letter.
JoJo loves oceans and sees now (maybe. or wants to like them) because they are not deserts. Ba-dum-ts.
P.P.P.P.S. I'm slightly tired of deserts by now, too. Heil marine environments or lakes or whatever else, indeed. Let's go to the sea next summer - just the Joestars and my parents and me and Polnareff and Abdul and the dog. Just a perfect vacation with family and family friends. That's why I'm not going to die. And nor is Jotaro, even though he is pretty suicidal (accidentally. he thinks he's immortal) sometimes. Ditto Polnareff, and I won't even talk of Mister Abdul, because if one mentions mr Abdul and death in one sentence, that's just evil. And bad luck. Point is, we'll get there. Next summer, definitely. That's what I'm fighting for?
Sounds alright. Next letter, I'll write to Ryoko. Wait, is she old enough to read? We don't talk too much, only on holidays and birthdays, so I'm not even sure.
P.P.P.P.P.S. I've checked. Neither Chari nor Star saw me write. I'm far too paranoid. Blame Dio. Besides, even if they saw me write, I might even have forgiven them if they did, as personal as this is? Wait. Wait. Is this 'friendship'? It's so bizarre. I guess I'll learn how to handle it, in time. Although, if I wake up dead, that will mean Star (Platinum) might've seen. Jotaro would be angry if his Stand was called a cutesy nickname- or maybe he wouldn't be. He'd just be a bit irritated, but he wouldn't kill me. Maybe just punch me. That, more than anything, must be friendship. The fact that I trust all the 'crusaders' (don't tell them I called them that, but we are sort of on a crusade against the evil vampire) with even my life and my privacy, and all my faults, no matter how much I try to hide them. They already know I'm no good, and that makes me ten times better, less weak, less indecisive, everyday.
Love,
Noriaki
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Psyche! You thought I'll write more today, but I, instad, will write more tomorrow. Or maybe not tomorrow. Maybe after Cairo. I'm scared not I I don't really know if I'm scared but I trust, I just - I will trust. That's enough. That's why I know - that's why I'm not burning this letter. That's why I'm alive, and if not-
nevermind. I am. I will be, tomorrow, still. Because - because. And that's that.
Take care,
Noriaki Kakyoin
P.S. Right, that's it. I trust the 'Crusaders', because I am a Crusader. Mom, Dad, I'll explain it all when we're back in Japan.
It's going to be the greatest story. And you won't believe the word of it, I know. I trust in that, too, because I know you. Just as I trust that I won't let my friends die in any pointless way, and they won't let me die pointlessly, either. So unless there's any point, I'm alive, and I'll be coming home soon. I trust- so, please, Mom, Dad, trust in that, too. In short - I'm with great people right now. And we watch each others' backs. So I will come home. If not next week, then next month. And then I'll give you this letter. I wish you could see Hiero. He's growing up, I think, just like I am, now. So very quickly. In a year, he'll be awesome. I will be. I can't wait. By then, you will believe. You have to. I believe in that, for the first time in years. Because this journey's changed us. And because you're my parents, Mom, Dad, surely you will see that, somehow, in my eyes, when I come back home, even though you can't see 'Stands'. And it'll be fine, for the first time. It already almost is. See you.
Tomorrow, I'll ask Polnareff and Chariot for fencing lessons. Fencing might not be sumo, but it's always fascinated me, too, if I'm being honest with myself. I won't burn this letter. I'll just make sure to always keep it on myself, so that no one ever reads it. It's not censored enough. Very rude. If any friend or ally is reading this: please, right now, go back near my bed, and wake me up quickly, so that I can kick your ass.
Thank you.
If Dio is reading this: I know he's not, he'd long ago get bored. But, just in case: please go fucking die. Thank you.
I was going to write something else, but it's four a.m. right now. I'm feeling slightly anxious, so I'll go look at the moon, together with Hierophant Green. I think the moon is boring, but Hiero loves looking at it, and I like Hiero, again, by now (there was a time- no, I won't write it, just in case I misunderstand it someday years in the future when I don't remember the details), so it all works out.