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Izuku knew the consequences the moment he became the ninth holder of One For All. Izuku knew the risk the moment the information about him was leaked out. Villains would be chasing his tail to gain the quirk he now holds. He knew that they would do anything to possess a quirk like his. He knew AFO and Shigaraki would find out eventually.
He knew these things, yet he didn’t know it would come to bite him so soon.
The pressure of becoming the next symbol that made him so delighted at first was now a heavy burden on his shoulders. The thought of meeting All Might became a series of anxiety instead of excitement.
No mistakes were allowed. No breaks were given. He can’t let himself take a breather.
His heart felt heavy with every breath he took around everyone. He could feel his eyes sting whenever someone points out his mistakes. He would take on Recovery Girl’s nagging.
He would often stop writing on his notes, gripping his hands into a fist to stop their violent shaking.
He was trying so hard to become the next symbol of peace.
He was trying so hard to appease everyone.
He was breaking apart.
He has long forgotten he was just a child.
“Deku– don’t– Stupid Deku–”
He could hear someone shouting his name, begging for something he couldn’t quite hear. Everything was static in his ears.
“–Don’t you dare die you– Nerd!”
Ah, he remembers. He could recognize that voice anywhere, even a mile away. That was Kacchan, his Kacchan.
He laughed weakly, coughing up blood with his eyes closed to lessen the pounding pain on his head. He ignored the taunting pain on his side. His whole body aches in so much pain that he almost feels numb.
“Stop laughing! It’s–damn you–”
He smiled at the sequence of curses that left his childhood friend’s mouth. It was endearing, he thought. He took a deep breath, ”Did…” he winced ever so slightly when the taste of iron infiltrated his mouth. “..D-did we win?” he asked.
Bakugou gritted his teeth, glaring holes at Izuku’s bruised body as he spoke, “We did.” he grumbled, “And don’t talk, dipshit! Do you want to die?!” the word that left his mouth felt heavy. He said it often. Heck, he said it everyday.
He knew the chances of it happening. He knew what the meaning of his words meant. It was happening before his eyes and he couldn’t do anything.
Izuku sighed in relief, he was glad that everything was finally over. No one has to die by Shigaraki and All For One anymore. He could– His body softens, the tension no longer in his shoulders. He could finally rest.
He smiled at the thought, and that made Bakugou shudder. It was weak but comforting. It was warm, like Izuku’s personality and whole being.
“H…How is… everyone?” Izuku asked between short breaths. Blood dripped down his chin and that made Bakugou panic. “They’re fine, the medics got them before the fight ended,” he grumbled.
Izuku opened his mouth to ask again–
“I’m fine! The teachers are fine! Everyone is fine! I told you to fucking stop talking! You’ll burn any energy you have left, dumbass!” he was huffed, almost begging him just to stay still.
“Kacchan,” Izuku mumbled, subconsciously reaching out for Bakugou’s hand, “...you have to tell…”
Bakugou held his hand with no second thought, cursing underneath his breath, “I’m not telling anyone shit! You tell them by yourself once you survive this shit, you got that?!” he yelled, but his words fell into deaf ears.
“Please tell mom that I’m–Ack– grateful for everything she’s… done for me,” Izuku murmured, a tear rolling down his cheek. “Tell her I’m sorry… for being reckless and– ugh selfish…” the pain was too much.
Bakugou’s eyes stung, gently gripping his hold on Izuku’s hand. “Shut up, nerd! You tell her that yourself!” he gritted his teeth. Izuku won’t stop talking.
Please just stop talking.
“Tell All Might I’m sorry for not–” he took a sharp breath, tears continuously rolling down his cheeks as the pain became unbearable. “–being a good successor…”
Stop it. Stop it.
“You know that’s not true, dipshit! You managed to win against that stupid hand-fucker!”
“–Ngh–and tell everybody that I’m sorry for not–” his breathing was becoming shallow. His pulse was getting slower.
“Stop talking! You’re going to die if you keep this up!”
“–making it to our graduation…” he chuckled weakly, opening his eyes slowly to meet Bakugou’s. He couldn’t see him clearly. Everything was a blur. But, he could feel the tears falling down his face.
He smiled softly, “It’s comforting to know Kacchan cares…” he teased, hoping to lighten up the mood.
Bakugou chewed the inside of his cheeks, ignoring the pain as it bleeds. Tears were streaming down his face, hopelessly dripping down his cheeks to his chin. He didn’t even realize his body was shaking until Izuku pinched his hand weakly.
He felt so weak. He was panicking. The heroes should find them by now. Why weren’t they here yet? They needed them. Izuku was dying and he couldn’t let that happen–
“Kacchan… I’m sorry for breaking our promise,” Izuku apologized solemnly, “I’m sorry–urgh–” he took a shaky breath, everything was hurting. He wants it to finally stop.
“–for not being able to become a hero duo–”
He glared at Izuku, his eyes begging him to stop. He couldn’t handle hearing Izuku saying his farewells.
“We could still be a duo if you just shut the hell up! Don’t talk like you’re dying! You’re not dying until I tell you so!”
The smile remained on Izuku’s lips. He could feel Izuku’s pulse slowing down.
“IZUKU! BAKUGOU!”
His head perked up when he heard familiar voices coming their way. “WE’RE HERE!” he yelled loudly as he can to catch their attention. His heartbeat fastened. There was hope, Izuku could be still be saved–
He faced Izuku, hoping to tell him about the news.
Instead, his heart dropped in an instant.
“Not now,” he whispered as he took a deep breath, “Please don’t.” his voice cracked.
He was injured similarly to Izuku. He was burned, stabbed, shot, but he wasn’t touched by decay like he was.
He wasn’t dying like he is. He wasn’t–
He wasn’t breathing. There was no pulse to be found.
Everything seemed to be frozen in place. His body grew cold. He remained motionless, even if Aizawa and the others have moved him aside to take care of Izuku.
They all yelled Izuku’s name, giving him CPR in hopes to revive him. He remained unmoving, processing the death of his friend. His body shook uncontrollably, holding his breath to suppress his emotions.
This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Izuku was stubborn, he shouldn't be dead. He shouldn't be dead in his arms. He should've saved him. If only he was strong, if only he wasn't injured. Izuku was supposed to follow him, not leave him. He wasn't supposed to leave. He wasn't supposed to be alone.
Aizawa kneeled down in front of him, engulfing him in his warm embrace. "Bakugou," he called. His lips quivered, a new set of tears threatening to fall down once again.
That was right. He wasn't supposed to be alone. So why was he? Why did he leave?
“You did everything you could, Bakugou,” their homeroom teacher whispered, rubbing his hand behind his back in comfort. “It’s okay to cry, let it out,” he added in a hushed tone.
By that, he breaks. He breaks in a way that made his voice hoarse from the grief of his shouts. He breaks in a way his lips bled until Aizawa forced him to stop. He breaks in a way he begged Aizawa to tell him that Izuku was alright, begging him to say false hope he knows that was far from the truth.
Even now, as he stands in front of his childhood friend’s grave, he didn’t move. Everything that happened replayed in his head involuntarily even if years had gone by.
Slowly, he moves his hand to put flowers beside the stone. Smiling softly as if an image of a younger Izuku appeared in front of him, “We made it, Nerd. I became the number one hero for the both of us.”
The wind blew in his direction and somehow, he felt safe, warm. Just like the warmth the stupid nerd used to have.