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He didn’t know why he was so afraid of him, sure he was a higher rank than him, but he shouldn’t scare him like this. It’s silly, he knew that it was important for Levi to beat him in front of the court and that’s why it’s silly, he knew he had to. He seriously doesn’t know why he’s so frightened of the short man, who outranked him.
Shaking his head, Eren tried to clear his mind of the thoughts of Levi, as he got up to have a wander around the castle. He hadn’t really had the chance to explore, plus he was restless. He needed to be doing something.
Eren had been walking around the castle for around 5 minutes when he rounded the corner into the kitchen. His fear had been stopping him eating or drinking much over the last few days. He tried to eat a little at the table but sitting opposite Levi, with the Corporal just staring at him, it made him feel sick. He hadn’t wanted to look strange so he had forced all his food down, and left as quickly as possible and emptied his stomach into the toilet. He didn’t feel hungry but knew he should have something to drink he was starting to feel dizzy; he had to look after himself more.
He entered the kitchen and at the table sat the one and only, Levi. Facing him, his attention on a book, feet rested on the table, the chair he was sitting on balanced on the back two legs. Eren’s heart sped up as he looked at the man who caused him fear that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Hoping to avoid the man he spun on his heel and started to walk out the room, he didn’t really need a drink that badly. He had just made it round the corner and out of Levi’s sight, when he started to get hopeful, of not having to have an interaction with the man, when:
"Oi! Brat, get in here." Levi did not sound happy; Eren felt his hands start to shake as he rounded the corner to face his Corporal.
"Yes, Sir?" A slight quake in his voice, however, he was pleased that he didn’t stutter though that was sure to come.
"What was that?" He asked as he closed his book, and placed it on the table, raising an eye brow at Eren. Unimpressed
"What was what?" He answered the question with a question, playing dumb, and then wincing at his error, knowing Levi could read him like the book he just closed and placed on the kitchen table. Levi’s raised eyebrows turned into a deep frown. Eren felt his shaking intensify as Levi frowned. Shit, shit, shit. He pushed his hands into his pockets to try and stop or conceal the shaking.
"Avoiding me, what’s that about, huh?" Levi’s tone quizzical as he ran his eyes up and down Eren’s body taking in his appearance. This made him frown deeper. Eren knew he looked like crap. His voice raw from vomiting, thinner than usual from not eating, shaking and sweating. Eyes sunk and tired from not sleeping. Lips chapped and dry, from not drinking and bloodied and ripped from constant chewing.
"I’m not avoiding you, Sir." He said in a rushed voice, a few tones above his normal pitch.
"Oh really, Eren?" Eren’s eyes slipped away from the Corporal to the cracked floor, now spotless from scrubbing. "So what do you call coming into a room, seeing someone and then turning around, and leaving. What were you coming in here to do? And no lies, brat." Eren jerked at the tone in his voice, and his shaking intensified.
"I came to get a drink, but I don’t need one anymore. Sorry for wasting your time, Sir." He said as he started to leave, he needed to get out of here; his heart was going too fast. He started to turn to leave.
"Brat, get your drink and sit your arse in a chair." Levi said tone strange, gentle-ish. Eren turned round and walked over to the counter.
"Sir, I really don’t need a drink, I wouldn’t want to take rations when I don’t need t-them." Eren said voice finally stuttering.
"Don’t talk crap, Idiot, you know water isn’t rationed. Could you boil some water while you're at it? I fancy some tea."
Eren started to boil the water. Luckily it didn’t take too long. He mashed some leaves to put into the tea pot with the water. The task calmed him a little, forgetting Levi who was watching his back, for a second, but then he remembered him and he felt his breaths labour and back tense. It was getting really hot in here. He started to feel bile rise into his throat, he couldn’t be sick, Levi would beat him to death if he threw up, so he swallowed the burning acid.
The teapot screamed and it made Eren jump. He spun and pulled it off the boil and placed it on the counter. Eren took the lid off and placed the leaves inside the water and stirred. He poured a cup and turned and passed it to Levi, hands shaking tremendously. Levi took the cup but his finger’s brushed against Eren’s making Eren flinch at the sudden contact, and jump away from the Corporal. Levi frowned.
"Jesus, fucking Christ, kid. I’m not gonna bite your hand off. I don’t bite, you know?" tone irritable. Eren turned quickly to place the tea pot on the table. He did that and got a cup out of the cupboard and went to fill it with some water.
"Wait, sit here." Levi motioned to the chair next him. Eren sat down still clutching his empty cup with white knuckles. For about ten seconds Levi just stared straight at Eren. A sigh escaped his lips and Eren flinched at his displeasure. He motioned towards the teapot and spoke.
"In case it wasn’t obvious, this is when you pour yourself some tea." Levi said. Eren started at his mistake and reached forward to grab the teapot. In his haste to comply with Levi’s order he knocked the lid of the pot causing the hot water to jump out of the open lid and fly onto his hand. He jumped back as he burnt his hand and cradled it to his chest, dropping the cup in his rush. The cup fell to the floor and smashed into pieces. He felt a tear roll down his cheek, but not at the pain in his hand but at the fear of the pain that was sure to ensue. In horror his eyes rolled back to the table and saw that the tea had spilt onto the table. More tears started to fall, but he didn't even realise, his ever growing panic making him forget about the tears. The tea cup in pieces, the spilt tea, and damn it Levi was already looking at him funny before all of this. He had to fix it, quickly.
"G-god. I’m so sorry sir. I’m so so sorry. Please forgive me." Eren leapt to his feet to fix his entire mistake. He fell to his knees and started picking up the smashed crockery with bare hands. His breath started to quicken in panic, he can’t fix this.
Eren felt a pair of hands grab his under arms and pull him off the floor and place him on the chair. He was having a panic attack. God not now, not now please not now.
"Eren, look at me," Levi said taking Eren’s hand and placing it on his own chest and breathing slowly, "breathe like I do, okay?" Two minutes later Eren’s panic attack subsided.
Levi reached his hand up, and Eren flinched expecting a strike, for his display of weakness. But all that happened was Levi’s hand on Eren’s face and gently stroked his cheek with his thumb, wiping away some of the tears. Levi sighed, and removed his hand from his cheek and pulled Eren’s hand onto the table. Luckily none of the jagged crockery had gotten stuck in his hand or it would have been a bitch to take out, but his hands were covered in blood from little cuts the crockery had caused, not to mention the burn on his hand. He tuted.
"Eren, talk to me. Tell me what’s happening" the corporal pleaded.
"Nothing, Sir, I’m fine. I’m so sorry for breaking the cup and spilling the tea, please, Sir let me clean it up then I’ll get out of your way." Eren said.
"For God’s sake, Kid. Stop calling me ‘Sir’, especially when we’re off hours. My name is Levi. Worry about the mess later. Right now I’m worrying about you." The shorter man said. "Now tell me what’s up. I’m not blind, I do notice things. You haven’t been eating or drinking, you constantly flinch and jump when I’m around. And don’t say you have been eating, I heard you throwing up the other day after dinner. So, talk to me." Levi said still holding Eren’s shaking hand in his warm, still ones.
"It’s… I… I don’t know, Sir, I mean Levi." The voice left his mouth quiet. Ducking his chin further down, refusing to meet Levi’s eyes. A sign of submission Levi realised. Levi lifted his hand once again, and once again Eren flinched, expecting a strike for not giving the correct answer to the question. Levi sighed but continued in his action. He placed a curled knuckle under Eren’s chin and lifted his head up, but Eren still refused to meet his eyes. Stubborn, as usual.
"Look at me, Eren." Levi demanded. Eren complied with his wishes. "Please stop flinching, Eren, I mean you no harm. If this is still about when I beat you, I thought you understood that I HAD to do that. I won’t do something like that again, I promise you."
"Levi, I understand that you had to, that’s why I don’t know why I’m afraid of you." Eren said, and Levi frowned, ‘Wait no, I’m not afraid but I...’
"You’re... afraid of me, Eren?" Levi asked in a strange tone. Not anger, hatred or even happiness, but he sounded upset. Genuinely upset.
"No, no! Sir, L-Levi, I’m not afraid…’ His voice trailed off quietly knowing it’s a poor lie. Damn how could he be so stupid to say that he was frightened him? Levi dropped his hand from his chin and placed it on Eren’s hands.
"Eren, seriously, I don’t understand why you would be frightened of me. I mean look at me. I’m a foot smaller than you." Levi joked, though they both knew that he could kick Eren’s arse any day of the week. "Let’s try and fix that fear, ey? Show you, I’m nothing to be afraid of, and by the way don’t get used to all this touchy-and-feely shit, it’s not really me." Levi gave a small smile. "I’ll clean the floor and you mop up the tea, yhea?" Eren nodded. "Yhea?" Levi prompted again for a verbal answer.
"Yes" Eren said. Five minutes later the cup and the water cleaned up Levi sat bandaging Eren’s hands in silence.
"Thank you" Eren said.
"What for?" Levi asked back, unsure for what he was being thanked for.
"For helping me clean up, for wrapping up my hand, for helping me."
"Its fine, I don’t need to be thanked, you’re part of my team. That means we look after each other, without expecting anything in return."
"I’m part of your team, Corporal?" Eren asked surprised at Levi’s admission.
"Once again it’s Levi, and of course you are, what did you think?" Levi asked not sure he wanted to know the answer.
"Well, truthfully I thought you would kill me as soon as my titan power was no longer needed." Eren admitted quietly, lowering his head down to watch Levi bandage his hand.
"Eren look at me, this is important, and please stop averting your eyes, it’s like you’re submitting to me, and that’s not a nice thing to feel." Eren lifted his head and looked Levi in the eyes. Levi stopped bandaging his hand to give Eren his full attention.
"Eren you are a part of my team, and that means we’re family, sort of. I’m not going to kill you, I promise. And where I come from you never break a promise. I am not going to harm or kill you." Levi said the last sentence with a very stern voice making sure that Eren understood every word. "Do you understand, Eren?" Levi needed confirmation.
"I understand." Eren confirmed.
"Good. Your hands all done." Levi stood to leave. "You need to get some sleep, come on I’ll walk you back to your room." He walked with Levi back to his room. Eren did sleep, better than normal but he was still a little jumpy. It was going to be a long road, but with help from Levi, Eren would slowly stop being afraid of him and slowly become friends with his Corporal.