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Wash.
“Good morning, Shinsou-kun!”
A scoff and a glare was all the response Izuku was given before the other boy stalked away from him.
Rinse.
Shinsou’s response stung, but it wasn’t anything Izuku wasn’t used to. The violet haired boy was nothing short of cold to Izuku, and it had been that way since their first interaction.
Izuku couldn’t fathom why Shinsou’s behavior was so chilly toward him, but he was determined to get through his hard exterior.
Repeat.
By this point, this exchange could be considered a routine. A game, even.
Izuku would greet Shinsou, invite him to participate in activities, sit near him. Anything, really, to try and help him feel included. Izuku knew all too well how it felt to be excluded, and he actively sought to prevent others from feeling the same way.
It was a cycle, and Izuku was a broken record.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
“Shinsou-kun! Do you wanna eat lunch with us?”
“No. Leave me alone.”
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
“Shinsou-kun! Can you help me take these books back to the teacher’s lounge?”
“Ask somebody else.”
Wash.
“Shinsou-kun-”
Rinse.
“Fuck off.”
Repeat
It was a Saturday morning, so the students of Yuuei had time to themselves. Izuku was holed up in Todoroki’s room alongside his friends, each of them finishing up their homework. Aside from rustling papers, pencils scratching on their assignments, and the occasional sniffle, the room was comfortably quiet.
That is, until Uraraka decided it was time to interrogate Izuku.
“Deku-kun! Why do you keep trying to talk to Shinsou? He’s been so rude to you, and for what? You’re the nicest person I know!” She flailed her arms around as she spoke, as if to emphasize her point.
Three other pairs of eyes swiveled in the direction of Izuku at their friend’s words, silently asking the same question.
He knew they meant well. He really did. But Izuku couldn’t tamper down the flare of indignance before words came spilling out of his mouth.
“Who else will? Nobody else will talk to him.” He paused before adding a softer, “We’re hero students. We’re supposed to help everyone we can, even if they don’t want our help.”
A look of sad understanding crossed the features of Uraraka’s face.
“Even so, Midoriya-kun, we can tell it’s taking a toll on you. You’re trying to be nice to him, and you’re being greeted with nothing but aggression,” Iida, who had previously been quiet, added.
The resent Izuku had felt when Uraraka questioned him ignited once more, and a heated response met his blue haired friend, “That doesn’t matter, Iida-kun! He’s isolating himself, and it’s not healthy!”
A low croak came from Asui before she spoke, “Midoriya-chan.” She paused to ensure she had his attention. “Kaminari-chan is Shinsou-chan’s friend. He isn’t completely isolated. I think there’s another reason you keep trying to talk to Shinsou-chan.”
Ah, blunt as always.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t what he needed right now, and Izuku could feel memories long-past creeping up from the darkest depths of his brain. He needed to get out of the room. Now.
After a muttered, “Sorry, I can’t do this right now,” Izuku gathered his things and fled Todoroki’s room, eight eyes following him out with unmasked sympathy.
Anxiety buzzed just below the surface of his skin. Fingers twitched, aching to pick at the raised skin of old scars. Small, barely-there noises rising above a manageable volume caused flinching. Heart beating faster, faster, faster.
The halls were too tight.
He needed out.
Exit the hall.
Avoid the elevator.
Hustle down the stairs.
Don’t run. You can’t run. Walk. Get out of the dorms.
The door is in sight. It’s a straight shot.
Izuku was so close to escaping, and-
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
The voice was accusatory, like Izuku had done something wrong.
Wash.
Ice cold dread filled his body, but he forced a smile onto his face as he turned toward the source of the noise.
“Ah, Shinsou-kun! I didn’t see you there! Sorry if I bothered you! I was actually heading out to the track. Do you wanna come with me?”
Don’t say yes. Don’t say yes. Please for the love of God, don’t say yes.
“I’m not saying yes-”
Oh thank-
“-because you’re asking me. I was already planning on going there.”
All of Izuku’s thoughts came screeching to a halt. “Wait, really?”
“Don’t make it a big deal. It’s not like I want to go with you, I just need to go with someone."
Ah, right. Shinsou doesn’t want anything to do with Izuku.
“I understand, Shinsou-kun! I’ll try not to bother you too much!”
Rinse.
He sent Izuku a sharp glare, and he could feel his spirit wither even more. Smile, Izuku. You’ll be fine.
The walk to the track was uncomfortable, to say the least. Izuku was still on edge, and he was more fidgety as a result of it. It was obvious that Shinsou could tell, too, because Izuku could sense the other boy’s growing irritation. This fed into Izuku’s gnawing anxiety, and it continued to feed into a negative cycle between the two.
Once they reached the track, Izuku was ready to run. Since he first started training with All Might, Izuku realized that physical activity was one of the best outlets for the thoughts that constantly plagued his mind. In particular, running cleared his brain. When Izuku ran, his thoughts were silenced. It was his oasis. Running was his personal reprieve from his issues.
Izuku hurried through his warm-ups and made his way to the outer lane of the track.
Already, the teen was feeling more relaxed. He’d almost forgotten about the company he had with him.
Almost.
Repeat.
“Is the golden child really that excited to get away from me? I thought you wanted to be friends,” Shinsou’s voice cut through the hush and dripped with sarcasm.
Izuku froze.
“What? Not even gonna dignify me with a response?”
Confusion flooded his brain as he gaped at the other boy.
“Really?” Shinsou scoffed. “You’re just like everyone else.”
Wash.
At this, Izuku finally managed to find his voice. “What are you talking about?”
“Seriously? That’s what you’ll respond to? Once I suggest you’re anything less than perfect, you’ll respond. God, you’re pathetic.” His statement was an accusation.
“That’s- no. Shinsou-kun, what are you saying?”
“I’m calling you a fake, jackass. You act all buddy-buddy in front of everyone, but the moment it’s just the two of us, you’re running away from me like you’re afraid of me.”
Anger was written across Shinsou’s face, and realization dawned upon Izuku.
Rinse.
“Shinsou-kun-” Izuku started.
The other boy cut him off, “Save it. I don’t need your fake sympathy, or pity, or whatever the hell this is supposed to be. You’ve grown up with no idea of what I’ve had to go through.”
That’s not true! Izuku wanted so desperately to tell Shinsou that that’s not true! I understand! Please, let me help you!
Instead, he let him continue.
If Shinsou needed an outlet, Izuku could take it.
Repeat.
“You have everything! You’re perf-quirked, you have friends, you’re a teacher’s pet,” Shinsou was practically snarling at him. “You don’t know what it’s like to have a quirk like mine. You don’t know what it was like for me - what it’s still like for me. You’ll never know the way I was harassed. You’ll never know what total isolation is like. You’ll never have to experience what I have, yet you still choose to rub your friendship in my face.
"News flash, asshole. I don’t want to be your friend. I don’t want anything to do with you. I don’t care about your worthless hero complex.”
As Shinsou paused, Izuku tried to deny the judgements being thrown at him, “You can’t just-”
“I wasn’t finished yet, Golden Child,” he spat. “Yuuei was supposed to be different, but every one of you are entitled, perf-quirked brats. All of you act like you belong here just because your quirks are flashy.”
Pain bubbled in Izuku’s chest at the words Shinsou spoke about his classmates. “You don’t even-”
“Shut up! This is exactly what I’m talking about. Every one of you act like you can step all over me. And if it’s not that, you act like I don’t exist. What are you, afraid of me? If you have quirks in your class that you can use to just break out of my control, then what the fuck is the problem?”
A heavy silence fell over the two before Shinsou left with his parting sentence.
“I don’t even know why I bothered to tell you any of this. It’s not like you care anyway.”
"Shinsou-kun…" Izuku trailed off.
Shinsou was already headed off the track and showed no signs of stopping.
The quiet was deafening. Izuku's brain was frazzled, and his heart hurt.
Shinsou's words had burned a hole in Izuku, clawed up old memories. He wishes he could have said something, but the other teen wouldn't have listened.
Instead, he was left whipped, Shinsou's words having done the lashing.
How did the saying go? 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.' Yeah, right.
Words always hurt more, and despite the fact that he wasn't mad at Shinsou for taking his frustrations out on him, he was still in pain.
He hurt, all the way down to his soul.
But that was a problem for future Izuku. For now, he'd work off his nervous energy.
Then he'd talk to Kaminari. Asui was right. Shinsou was friends with him. Maybe Kaminari could actually help him.
Because clearly, he couldn't.
Right?
Wash.
He'll find a way to help Shinsou.
Rinse.
He'll help because he has to. Because it's all Izuku knows how to do.
Repeat.