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It was cold, flashes of light and thunder like noises, a cacophony of color and chaos, his mind was lost and scrambled in places he could not reach, was he himself still? What was he even? Maybe he was, the only memory of himself was now mixed and conjoined with a feeling, a feeling he felt briefly his whole life, a feeling he only knew as a small small child, maybe the only feeling he ever trully felt, a cry, a whimper, a whisper. It cried loudly but was now being shushed by the slightly warm feeling enveloping him, something strong was there by his side, two of them, it had a distinct color, but his mind could no longer tell what colors even where, still, suddenly green was the most comforting feeling he ever had, wait, was green a feeling? No- It doesn't matter, he just wanted to melt and dissolve into this warm, land field like feeling, of beautiful green grass and purple flowers, as well as a bright yellow sun, shining trough his pain. Oh, he never felt in piece like this, was he dying? Was this it? Was it heaven then?
More indistinguishable noises echoed "Shigaraki??? Can you hear me?" Oh he could even hear angels, where they here to take him?
"All For One! It's over! Shigaraki won't belong to you anymore! " A shock, a unbearable ripping pain, the green gone for some seconds, replaced by flashes of red and white, it hurt like he was struck by a thunder, but as soon as it came, it was over, his minds where no longer his, but then it suddenly was him, him and only him, Shigaraki Tomura, only one, only himself.
With this his sensorial input slowly coming back to place, the warm feeling so strong, arms lifting his barely conscious body, hugging him tight, human warmth? Affection?.... "Shigaraki? I'm sorry it hurt! Eri is still training her quirk, but what matters is that AFO has been removed!" Voices that cooed to him, and protected, snarling and growling to anything outside their small, warm, circle. And as his vision slowly laid into green, green hair and hero suit, by the side of green reptilian scales, one sudden sob, a sigh, and a deep eternal relief he waited for so long...
"Ah...I've been saved..."
Shigaraki blinked, violently coming back to his senses from the brief flashback, the sound of the "pew" and "pows" coming from the speakers below the tv screen, the flashing colors of pink and blue brightening the dark living room. He was sitting at the couch, fully laid on it, resting his back at the couch's further back, while in his left Spinner sat at the edge of the seat, spasming his fingers and arms repeatedly as he threw a combo of moves with his game controller. At the other end, by his right, brushing lightly against his thigh, sat Izuku, cross-legged at the edge as well, happily chewing some chips while jumping up and down, cheering on Spinners moves in game.
Shigaraki looked back and forth between them, he had let his own controller at the coffee table, he had asked for a brief pause, and offered to watch Spinner's solo, he gave the excuse of a headache, but he knew it was far from the truth, well, he actually was feeling overwhelmed. What was weird, it wasn't the first time hanging out with the two, kind of, he had done it countless times before with one at the time, having encounters with the whole league, game nights only him and Spinner, or meeting with only Izuku for "redemption purposes". But it was the first time meeting alone with the both of them at the same time: The two men...I mean, the man and boy that had made his hell of a life at least bearable.
But how he'd not feel overwhelmed? Spinner looked so cute playing the same games as him, with unseen mastery that made his heart beat faster, and Midoriya's bright beam of a smile kept his heart warm and fuzzy, the two where also needlessly way too sweet to him, cooed to him, asked how he felt all the time, worried for him, held his hand at the minimum indication that he was feeling uneasy. The two toke care of him as if he was a small precious little child, and all though Shigaraki would always hit their hands and claim to be ok, he actually loved to be treated so tenderly, oh, he never had it before, it felt so dream like, but he also knew the two feared the consequences of a life long turbulent, painful and traumatic existence. Spinner was always there for when his PTSD flashbacks hit, holding him tight and handing over anything he needed, and Midoriya would always be there to support him through therapy, ugh how he hated to do therapy, but Midoriya didn't mind to hold his hand and lead him in, staying by his side.
Ah....He sighed as he chose to get lost in memories, before any of them noticed the light tint of red on his cheeks.
Ah...How the time passed flying by, it was almost yesterday, that he had been suffering endlessly, grunting and ruffing, convulsing on the floor, pain from all angles, from inside, from outside, within and penetrating trough every single corner of his being, the pain of both betrayal and his body fighting against the rejecting quirks. He was barely conscious, but he could still peek from the corner of his eye how All For One, his once called "Sensei", just laughed and left explicit that Shigaraki was nothing more than a vessel of his, meanwhile Dabi spoke carelessly and Toga retrieved, even Skeptical was there, but didn't bat an eye towards him. Nobody seemed to care.
Except for him...The only one that would sit by his side, gently pet his back and try to console his aching body. Spinner was there by his side the whole time, being the loyal follower he swore he'd be, just like he always did, since the fight against the Metal Liberation Army, keeping him close, eyes and mouth gaping wide open as he watched that so dreamed horizon. Now calling for him, worrying for him, trying to get him back to his senses, trying to make AFO care, trying to do anything in his power to save him. Even with that disembodied hand in his hands, ready to place it at Tomura's face the moment he deemed necessary.
He didn't even knew to who the hand belonged anymore, Father was destroyed for sure, so who was that? Did it even matter? Well, a part of his mind, lost within deep layers of quirks, vestiges, hate and pain did care, he thought it could be Nana's... Ah...The hand of a hero.. How he waited for a hero his whole life, a hero to save him as a child, a hero to extend their hand...
"Izuku Midoriya" that name, at the time was nothing more than a whisper in the bottom of his mind, a small, tiny, insignificant part of him, prayed for the young hero to come save him, after all, he had seen he do so before. Izuku's motivation and strength, alike All Might, he has been determined to save anyone within and beyond his reach, he have seen him do it, at the Sports Festival with Todoroki, at the face of Stain, at the Bakugou rescue, at every small encounter. Shigaraki had grown to feel something towards the boy, at first he thought he just hated him in a different way, but then, he was walking around with a photo of him in his pocket, staring at it while sitting in the bar, even Kurogiri had to ask what was up with such behavior, Tomura shrugged it off at the time, until realization hit him, that he was searching for the boy, in a mall, wanting to talk his feelings out to him, wanting to question him, next he was shouting cliché flirts towards him, asking for a tea and a chat, or even claiming to send him back to heaven in the battle field.
Tomura had a huge ass crush on Midoriya, evident to anyone to see, and he was starting to see it as well, but something made his infatuation freeze, because after all Spinner did for him, taking care of him, worrying for him, trying to save him at the war, keeping him close, he wasn't just a friend to talk about video games anymore, he was also not just the man that swore him loyalty after seeing his conviction, no, he was more than a friend, he had been so close all this time...
And now, here he is, laying down on a couch between two of the people he admired the most, whom protected him, who saved him, who accepted him. He sighed with a slight sob, Midoriya had seem to notice, looking backwards towards him, just to beam a sweet friendly smile, and with this, Shigaraki's blush came back in a second, he frowned, closing his eyes shut "what am I even feeling?" he tried to ignore, but every time one of them smiled to him or looked at him fondly his heart would beat out of sync, his chest getting all tingly and weird, no no no, it couldn't be love, it couldn't be attraction, or infatuation , it had to be just a feeling of gratitude, right? There's no way he felt in love with both of them, no way- none of them would ever feel the same, let alone agree on date him simultaneously!
The last thought made something sting in his chest, he opened his eyes, to see the back of a sweet green haired boy, toned with muscles and scars below his greyish sleeveless tank top, some scars he didn't recognize, and some he himself left on the boy ~oh how he loved to know that the boy was marked by him for life, forever, in his body, memories of everything Shigaraki made him go through~ ,he shivered with the thought, landing his eyes on the young's neck nape ~where his hands have been laying down, so deliciously tight against his skin~ ,the man shacked his head, he couldn't give himself the luxury of those thoughts, but shaking his head was also a mistake, because then his glare felt over the other back, also toned, covered by a black t-shirt, but with green reflective scales visible in his arms and neck, contrasting with the long purple hair that felt over his shoulders, that view was also nice, very nice, then his eyes darted to his arms, still concentrated in the game, full of skill ~arms that had held him so tight, so warm, trying to protect him from the world~ he smiled to himself ~what else those skilled arms can do?~ and another shiver.
Once again looking back and fourth to the two, never paying attention on the game in front of them, not even when Spinner won another round, until he shouted loudly:
"Yeah!!!" He jumped, still sitting, fisting in the air with a proud smile on his face.
"Wow, you're so good at those games! You need to teach me how to do it!" Izuku smiled, beaming, clapping his hands rapidly, while Spinner arched back, head up as he crossed his arms, way too proud.
"Of course!" he smirked, and then looked at his back, Shigaraki shivered for a second, eyes widening when he realized the reptilian one was looking at him "but good ol' boss is way better than me!" he pointed with his thumb, "Such a shame you can't play today Shigs, you really don't want to give a try?" Spinner smiled, Shigaraki didn't knew how to feel when he was called "Shig" so casually.
"W-well, let's not force him, hope you feel better soon anyways, Tenko-kun!" Izuku said with a worried smile, booping his index fingers into each other, oh lord, how it made him fell both flattered, anxious and weirdly comfortable when he heard Izuku call him by his real name, the name he haven't stopped calling him since he saved him, soon after discovering about Shigaraki's past and his connection to Nana, both Midoriya and All Might felt the need to address to him as Tenko Shimura at all times, at first it was annoying, but he grew so damn used to hear his own name slipping out of Izuku's sweet little mouth, almost visibly dancing on his tongue, a tongue that had said so many inspirational things, so many hero bullshit, but that he didn't care about hearing anymore, because every time Midoriya did those it was only for him to hear, no one else, a tongue he wouldn't mind to kis-
"Right?" Midoriya blinked, both of them staring at him, a brown arched, Shigaraki haven't even realized he had lost himself in thoughts again.
"Sorry, what where you two saying again?" He tried to reply
"Shig, are you really ok? I've never seen you acting like that, you look so damn lost" Spinner said under his breath, sharing worried looks with him and Izuku.
"Yeah? I'm alright." he tried to dismiss, but none of them seemed convinced yet.
"I know it's been only 4 or 5 months since the war- you're probably still processing everything, we shouldn't have pressed you into going out with us- I'm so sorr-"
"Oh god Midoriya Izuku, you don't have to apologize all the time!" Shigaraki shouted before Izuku could finish, oh and he couldn't help but say his full name every time, it was so tasteful, so deliciously pronounced, oh lord, he almost got a boner the last time he said it. "I'm ok, it is nothing to do with the war, that game is over now, I quitted it."
"B-b-bu-but!" Izuku gasped, "You...You're sure?" he said, with those puppy eyes of his ~oh how he loved these~.
"No worries, boss is tough, right?" Spinner winked at him, Shigaraki felt his cheeks burn once again, at the little deviant smile.
"Y-yeah, whatever" Shigaraki couldn't really hold it back anymore, his feelings growing and growing each day, and spending a whole weekend only with the two felt like the last drop for his sudden realization, maybe he did fall in love with both of them.
His heart suddenly clenched, he looked up with a confused look, Midoriya and Spinner seemed to chat back and forth so casually now, but they'd never agree to date him together, gosh, the more he tried to imagine a life with both of them the more and more helpless he felt, an unbearable pain in his chest, the fear of rejection growing more and more.
Midoriya was training to become a hero, he had still more the rest of this year and the next one at UA, he was still a teenager, he had friends, a mother worried about him, probably already had a love interest at school, and above it all he was loyal to All Might and the system, he'd never agree to date a villain, ok, an "ex-villain", but still, his reforming program was still far from being over, most still fear him and judge him untrustworthy, and he wasn't any villain, he was the number one wanted villain of Japan, a Global threat, and the one who personally tried to kill his so much loved All Might and Izuku himself! Midoriya could never love someone like him... Who in their right mind would date the one who attempted to murder them?
And Spinner? Well they did bond with Video Games and anime, he was a good friend, and loyal, but that was it, he might have saved Tomura, buy he surely only saw him as his leader, his boss. Doubt he is gay either, and if at least him did agree on dating, what relationship would it be? Two men living in the middle of trash and garbage, binge eating chips and drinking only energetics while playing Video Games non-stop for the rest of their lives? It did sound good at first, but he realized Spinner deserved a better life, he was doing his way as a mutant activist, and with the heroes reforming Shigaraki, he'd surely be forced to cut contact with him and the league any time soon...
Oh it hurts...It hurt badly, his thoughts racing at unseen speed, pilling up one by one, all of them negative, all of them painful, his heart racing as his breath seemed quicker and quicker, so many thoughts that at one point he felt like he was not even thinking anymore, his mind just so full and numb that all he could feel was this weird ache in his throat, his hands sweating cold and thi-
"Shigaraki?" Spinner looked at him worried, in his right Midoriya reaching closer, he brushes a finger gently through Shigaraki's cheeks.
"W-what?" Shigaraki only noticed now, that his voice came out barely a whisper, coming out rough and shaky in a small sob. Only to notice that what Izuku did was brush a small tear that had formed on the corner of his eye, oh no- They saw him cry??? How pathetic! They can't see him like this! No- No no no!
"Tenko!" Midoriya screamed as Shigaraki got up the couch in a jump, breaking free from the attempts of both of them to hold him back, running towards his own bedroom and locking himself in there.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid! i'm so fucking stupid!" he thought, throwing himself chest down into the bed, clinging to his pillows, allowing himself to sob slightly, "how did I even get in this situation?..."
"Shigaraki!" Spinner shouted from outside, following a thump in the door, "Tenk- Tomura-kun! I'm sorry!" Midoriya apologized "Why are you even apologizing?...It's cute thought" Shigaraki couldn't help but think, everything about Midoriya was cute...
"Shigaraki, you've been acting weird today, are you ok?" Spinner said, he was also cute, always worrying about him, him and only him...
"Hmmph-!" Was all Shigaraki could reply, as he buried his embarrassed face into the pillow.
"Tomura-kun, please talk to us, did we do something wrong? We o-only want to help!" Midoriya shouted, but soon Shigaraki could hear Spinner, telling him to leave him alone, give him some time, but Midoriya has always been way too determined, and way too stubborn "Please! I-I'm going in-" and with more thumps and thuds against the door, and the sounds of some of the quirks within One For All, finally, the door opened with a jolt, and Midoriya stepped in.
"L-leave!" Shigaraki said between a sob and a cough, but he knew, he didn't truly want them to leave.
"Please... Tell us what is going on" Izuku walked towards the bed slowly, sitting down near him
"U-uhm, unless you feel comfortable of course" Spinner said entering
"No, no, nghuh- no, NO! N-none of you sh-should sniff see me like this!"
Spinner and Midoriya looked at each other, both of them giving him a sweet, tender smile "we've seen worse" Spinner said, recalling the crying and sobbing mess Shigaraki had been the day he was saved.
"I-it's embarrassing-" He said under his breath, Midoriya leaned closer, as Spinner sat in the other side and pulled Shigaraki into a hug. "It's okay, Shig"
Shigaraki hated to feel vulnerable, but at the moment he couldn't help but lean in, it was kind of everything he ever wanted, to lean his head over Spinner's shoulder, smelling his scent, letting his tears roll into his black t-shirt, to feel Midoriya's sweet and delicate pats on his back, as the younger of them shushed him and whispered sweet nothings to calm him, ah...To be in their arms, to feel cared, to feel...Loved.
His breath slowed down, his muscles softened, falling softly over Spinner's own muscles, his back leaning towards Izuku's touch more and more, as the air leaving his lungs got less and less shaky, his head leaning and fitting oh so perfectly against Spinner's neck, his ears catching each of izuku's soft words.
"I love you..." he thought, but when the hand caressing him stopped as Midoriya got up in a jump, and he could feel Spinner barely pushing away, slightly. He realized he actually said it, the words slipped through his mouth so naturally, so spontaneously, as if they've always been there, just waiting to jump from his tongue.
"W-what?" He heard Midoriya say, and with this Shigaraki froze, his breath getting unstable once again, as Spinner now fully pushed him away, holding him by the shoulders, looking at him, with an confused expression, just as confused as Midoriya. They seemed heartbroken? Are they worried about who he is talking to? N-no way...
"Both of you" Shigaraki said without thinking twice, and as soon as he did he saw something soften in both of their set of eyes, he felt something fuzzy again "I-I love both of you... S-so much".
"W-wait, l-like, as friends?" Shigaraki could feel his heart crack and clash as he heard it coming from Spinner's mouth, did he mess up? "of course i did- i always ruin everything".
"N-N-no...." he said, barely louder than a sad sobbed whisper. He was ready to burry himself back into the pillows and never see any of them again.
"I-i L-o-love you t-too..." Midoriya said from behind Spinner, his fists clenching and he had his eyes shut tight, embarrassed and blushing, but also shaking.
"W-wh-, r-real-"
"I love you too!" Shigaraki was about to ask when Spinner cut him, stating the same as Midoriya, now both of them where avoiding eyes contact, blushing like two idiots, two very cute idiots.
"T-the both of you?" Tomura's shock was clear in his face, his mouth a small "o", and frowning with his eyes so wide they almost made perfect circles, like a scared little puppy.
Midoriya stepped closer, sitting by his side once again, as Spinner gave him space to do so, now Spinner sat by his right, and Izuku by his left.
"I- I've liked you for quite a while- h-hummm, I've been having a crush on you since the mall event- it only got worse when you, well, entered my head" Izuku chuckled embarrassed.
"Well- I had a crush on you since you defeated Re-destro, that was very cool...B-boss..." Spinner said in his turn.
Shigaraki couldn't believe this, the two? T-they didn't push him away? They didn't feel grossed out? They even liked him back!?
It had to be a dream, he probably feel asleep when sobbing into the mattress, there is no way!
"You guys can't be serious...You two...I've been into the both of you for so long... You two would...Really....Date me?" Shigaraki said between sobs, he didn't even knew why he was sobbing now, happiness? Fear of it not being real?
Spinner and Izuku looked pensive, then looked at each other, and smiles softly as if in a wordless agreement. "Yes" the both of them said.
Shigaraki gasped, his white fluffy hair softly falling over his face as he looked back and forth between them, in disbelief "I-"
"Can we kiss already?" Midoriya said looking to his feet, glowing red, oh boy, he really was stubborn and impulsive...Shigaraki loved this.
"Y-yes" Shigaraki said softly, Midoriya turned to him and leaned in first, they closed their eyes and met their lips slowly, it was more of a peck, but it was sweet, tender, lovely, just like Izuku. The both of them being way too unexperienced and emotional at the moment to try more than that, but oh, if Shigaraki didn't enjoy the warm, velvety feeling of Izuku's soft and healthy lips, caressing over his crusty and crackled ones, Shigaraki was tempted to lick them a bit, a little whelp earned from the greenette, and with it Shigaraki smiled against their innocent little kiss, shortly they slowly parted, as Midoriya now had an adorable smile on his flushed face.
Shigaraki then looked to Spinner, hopeful, who smirked and shacked his head with a small chuckle before leaning in and kissing him more passionately, to Shigaraki's surprise, it was sloopy, but it was nice, his face scales felt soft and good to touch in a way he didn't think it could, the kiss was way more eager, but yet, there was very little tongue interaction, he did get some of Iguchi's saliva into his mouth, it tasted like cheese chips and raspberry flavored energetic, meanwhile Midoriya was visibly flustering in the side, they parted, Shigaraki looked so silly like that, gasping to the air, as Spinner and Midoriya giggled to each other, both blushing in the most adorable way possible.
"I think none of us ever kissed before, right?" izuku said, chuckling, but feeling less awkward, glad to know he wasn't the only one to be unexperienced.
"Yeah-" Spinner became another shade of red, scratching his hair, Shigaraki couldn't help himself, he flew over them and hugged both of them tight, catching both with surprise, but they soon smiled and hugged him back, Midoriya snuggled against Shigaraki's crook of the neck, melting into his fluffy and soft long hair, as he also petted him in the back. In the other side Spinner breathed slowly next to Shigaraki's ear, brushing it lightly, holding his head and petting the white mane kindly with his right hand, as his left arm hugged his middle.
Shigaraki didn't even know how to feel anymore, he leaned in to their touches, holding both by their neck nape, feeling the different hair textures, Izuku's was soft and wool like, the curls tangling around Tomura's fingers. Spinner's hair was straight and smooth, fun to rub through his fingers. He sighed content, it was good, but soon, with a soft giggle coming from the two boys, they pushed Shigaraki against the bed, laying him down, as they felt over him, trapping him against the mattress.
"Huh? Hum? What?" Shiggy looked to both of them confused.
"I want cuddles!" Midoriya smiled, and Spinner blushed looking down, whispering an almost non existent "same"
"cuddle? I- I never cuddled in my life- how do you even cud-" Shigaraki was interrupted by Izuku's quick kiss on his cheek, then a small kiss on his neck, making him shiver and whelp, as Izuku proceeded to lay down over his chest, snuzzling against his neck once again, one arm now hugging him as the other caressed his collar bone.
"Well- since he is getting all comfortable-" Spinner said, as he sneaked under Shigaraki, roping an arm under his nape, letting Shig rest his head there, while his other arm caressed his cheeks, ghosting his nails, trailing over his scars, oh, Shigaraki felt a way he never did before, the two where holding him so tight, it was so warm, and it only got better when Midoriya pulled a blanket over them, both of them leaving a kiss in each of his cheeks.
Shigaraki was dumbfounded, his eyes tracing over them with a slight confusion. He was not used to it, but oh if he loved it already, even if it felt weird- he never had been cradled like this, he had been fighting and hiding and surviving for so long, but now, he was enveloped by the arms of two strong men that would shatter the world for his safety. How he, the former symbol of fear, the former leader of the League of Villains and the grand commander of the Paranormal Liberation Army, the one who had once held the All For One quirk and became the most powerful being in all earth. How him, of all people, suddenly was so dependent and vulnerable, small and needy, whelping peacefully and happily for being under someone else's vigilance. He should be strong right.....?
No...He didn't, that's what AFO had told him, but now Shigaraki finally realized he was human, he deserved love, affection and protection just like anyone else, he was a person with emotions and fears that had the right to be vulnerable sometimes. And with this thought in mind he eased in, relaxed, wanting now to only pay attention to the double amount of love he was receiving.
Izuku's eyelashes fluttered against his sensible and hurt neck skin, his breath was steady and warm, the hand in his collar bone slowly going down to his chest and rising up to where it started, his legs where intertwined with his. Spinner lightly rested his chin on the top of Shigaraki's fluffy mess of silvery strings, holding him tight and still admiring his poor scarred face, that the two had grown to love so, so, so much. Once in a while one of them would shift and kiss Shigaraki's cheek, sometimes his forehead, once lightly above his eye lid, and Midoriya also gave a small peck above his mole, with a low and playful giggle, darting to his lips once, kissing more than the last time, sucking slightly to Tomura's bottom lip. Shig hummed, he was so content, his heart felt light in a way it never did before, it was getting him sleepy.
Shigaraki never felt safe in his whole life, most of the time fighting for survival, or in constant stress, but for the first time, between those two who held him so tight, between the arms of Spinner and Izuku. There he felt that between their bodies holding and snuggling to him, that feeling blooming with all his heart, his lips curling into a soft smile as his eyes closed slowly, close to drift to unconsciousness: Only one thought in mind...
"this is the safest place in the whole world"