beat_them_off_with_a_stick



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  1. Public Bookmark *

    A Lestrange situation by

    Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

    02 Nov 2025

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    Griphook sighed, pulling a book from his desk.

    “After learning of your entry into the tournament, I requested the bank’s records on the rules,” he explained, flipping through the pages. “Other than death, that is.” The Goblin smirked slightly as he turned the book toward Harry.

    ‘In the event that the entered Witch/Wizard is pregnant or under a surrogacy contract said Witch/Wizard will be disqualified without risk to her/his magic or life. This clause takes place after the first insemination attempt for surrogacy-’’

    “...Are you telling me I can get pregnant?” Harry blinked in disbelief.

    -

    After his unwanted entrance into the Triwizard Tournament Harry will do anything to get out of it. Anything.

    This is a story of how one desperate attempt to get out of a contest changes the course of many peoples lives.

    Please Read the tags. Don't like, don't read.

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    20/?
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    Bookmarked by beat_them_off_with_a_stick

    07 Oct 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

    The Scientific Method of being a Hero by Anonymous

    Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)  

    28 Oct 2025

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    Outside his window, the city hummed with the quiet energy of a world where heroes and villains played their eternal game of cat and mouse, each side believing they understood the rules while missing the larger patterns that connected their battles into something vast and complex and beautiful.

    Somewhere in that complexity, Izuku was beginning to suspect, lay the answer to questions no one else was asking. But, then again, in the morning, his real work would begin. Tonight, all he did was close the notebook and go to sleep. A researcher needs it, after all.

    —

    Or: how a teenager with notebooks full of ignored insights accidentally revolutionized hero work by asking the questions no one else wanted to hear, while accidentally acquiring a collection of professionals who decided he was worth listening to.

    (Sometimes, the most important battles aren't fought with quirks.)

    Language:
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    Bookmarked by beat_them_off_with_a_stick

    02 Oct 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

    contract marriages do work! (sometimes) by

    Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)  

    20 Nov 2025

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    Midoriya Izuku sees something that ruins his life forever! Bakugou Katsuki, his fiancé, making out with his best friend! What's a boy to do? When an old friend comes with a unlikely solution, Izuku and his family must make a tough decision.

    But wait, what does that have to do with Izuku having to marry a man he's never even met before?!

    A.K.A. Izuku's having it rough and might swear off love, but Shouta might just turn out to be the perfect man for him.

    Language:
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    Bookmarked by beat_them_off_with_a_stick

    17 Sep 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Wanted: Fake Boyfriend for Family Dinner. Piss off my parents and get a free, home cooked meal! by

    Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)  

    01 Oct 2025

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    Izuku Midoriya didn't mean to get married. He just wanted to piss off his mom.

    A fake Craigslist ad for a boyfriend seemed like the perfect way to ruin another uncomfortable dinner. He expected trolls, maybe a scam or two. Not… whatever this was.

    It was supposed to be a joke.
    It’s getting harder to remember that.
    (He didn't think either of them wanted to.)

    "I think I'm in love. Marry me."

    -

    "Come on, Midoriya, think about it. Showing up to the family dinner with a surprise husband in tow? Someone they've never met – never even heard about? Who's…" he cleared his throat, glancing away for a moment with pursed lips, "at least twice your age?"

    Izuku considered it. He hated that he was considering it.

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    Bookmarked by beat_them_off_with_a_stick

    16 Sep 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

    The Quickest Way To Fail A Physics Test by

    Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug, DCU, DCU (Comics)  

    09 Sep 2025

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    Marinette was supposed to be studying. Instead, she finds a bat on her balcony, and old habits die hard.

    She finds herself playing nurse - much to the disdain of the mouthy, half-conscious vigilante in her bathtub.

    Language:
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    09 Sep 2025