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Pleasant is how he saw it. Pleasant that his boyfriend was willing to hold him close in such a vulnerable state. Warm was all he felt from the other boy. Saihara was able to make him feel safe even when he succumbed to sleep. Sleep was never something he looked forward to. No. It was something he actively avoided.
Saihara knew this. At least that’s what Oma thought. Cold was all he felt. The warmth that protected his sleep was no longer present. Where did it go?
Eyes slowly opened to see what could have caused the change. What caused this unpleasant feeling that is now pulling him from his peaceful sleep. Oma wondered this when his eyes opened. Sensitive to the situation around him he was unable to see anything. For a moment he was blind. For a moment he was lost. Lost for what cause? He could only hope to know.
“Saihara…” Calling out to the empty side of the bed. Desire coated his words. Hoping that maybe it wasn’t true. He was a liar, so his mind could just be doing the same. Telling him a lie.
That Saihara was no longer by his side. Couldn’t be right. Can’t be right…can it?
Feeling groggy with the lack of restful sleep, Oma didn’t know what to do. Rolling over to the other side of the bed where Saihara’s warmth was. Softy comforting him for a brief moment. The comfort came like a blanket to cover him–to protect him from what his mind was. But only for a moment.
Only for a moment did he have the comfort of Saihara. Only for a moment. He was able to feel secure.
After many tries of going back to sleep failing. Oma was exhausted, but not exhausted enough to sleep. He was not tired, he was mentally exhausted. The one thing that can never be fixed with some rest.
He sighed to himself and stood up feeling more irritated with each passing second. Saihara was gone to who knows where and he was left at home on his day off which he should have been spending with Saihara- but here he was alone. Left with his thoughts while Saihara was nowhere near.
Where the hell was he anyway?
Heavy steps met with the stairs. Telling a tale of sorrow with only the slow beating of the feet hitting the stairs. Carpeted steps should have been a comforting reminder that he didn’t have to walk on cold wooden stairs. But it was just a reminder that sure his feet were comforted by the carpet being soft against them, but he was left without his comfort.
Being touch starved is a painful feeling consisting of a yearning for something one can’t have, someone one can’t touch. Oma was irritated. Beyond irritated. The itch of anger lingered on all of his skin. Wanting nothing more than to scream to get rid of the feeling that would not disperse.
“Ngh…I should eat breakfast. Saihara usually makes breakfast. Maybe he-” Walking into the kitchen the realization that Saihara had forgotten about their usual routine hit him. Maybe it was just a mistake, something the detective decided to overlook…maybe it was just him being forgetful because a case has been consuming his thoughts. Maybe. Maybe. It was some truth that Oma didn’t want to hear. What if it was something he did?
The bitter taste of the coffee Saihara always drank came in contact with Oma’s tongue. It was too hot to drink. This did not stop Oma from downing it in one go. Could have been from the lack of sleep. Could have been from the lack of Saihara and his unconscious desire to be close to anything that reminded him of Saihara. Regardless, the heat of the drink did not affect him. Not one bit.
He should have called him. He should have called Saihara. He should have done something. But he couldn’t even bring himself to eat because the thought of eating would make him feel nauseous. So calling him was up there next to calling Rantaro telling him to plan his funeral because he was on the brink of death.
A bright screen came into his vision as he tried to focus on his phone. But all the things on the screen were hard to read. He could see that there was no message from Saihara though. Why did he not even bother to? Is it because of something he did? Was Oma to blame?
Maybe Saihara left him for Akamatsu like all of his friends would jest about. Laughing with glee telling each other how if Oma ever made him too angry that Kaede was always going to be an option. Saihara seemed uncomfortable with these comments. But now the cynical boy could only think of how he could have been uncomfortable because of how true that statement was.
Oma struggles to feel like he is enough. He is a liar, so he worries that because of that Saihara will become bored of him. So bored that Akamatsu will be a great option to liven up his life. Maybe they would end up having kids. Maybe they would have a happy little family. Maybe-
“SHIT!” Oma yelled, throwing his phone against the wall. His body collapsed to the floor so exhausted with the tears he was holding back. He didn’t want Saihara to leave him. He never did. He loves him more than anything…but maybe that’s the case.
He left without a word, without a note, without a call, without anything because it can be easier to leave in silence other than leaving in tears.
“I don’t wanna do this today. I just want to have him here so I can sleep.” A groan came from the boy crumpled on the ground. Like a piece of paper that was discarded. Left alone to be forgotten with the other trash.
Oma couldn’t sleep without Saihara there. Never willing to admit this left Saihara in the dark about this fact. Oma Oma could not sleep without his beloved detective. Mostly because his body won’t let him sleep if there isn’t something there holding him. Reminding him that he isn’t alone. But the blankets on his bed did not have arms to hold him close as Saihara did…so there was no point even trying. Without Saihara, sleep was an impossible mission for the small boy.
His head started to pound as the silence ever danced around him. Inflicting mental pain with each note and each step. Reminding him that Saihara wasn’t here.
It was close to the middle of the day at the point where Oma ended up going to the bathroom. He wanted to try to take a shower to get his mind off of things or even just to get off the damn floor. But that didn’t help. The water was hot but not as warm as Saihara.
Of course Saihara wasn’t burning hot like the water. But the heat of the water was incomparable to Saihara’s warmth. The love he brought made Oma feel safe. It made him feel complete.
He missed him more than he would willingly admit. He wanted Saihara. He wanted to touch him, hug him, hold him, kiss him, tell him that he loves him, smell him, breathe in his heavenly scent.
Creak
He heard it as he was slipping on a new set of clothes. Since it was his day off it was a pair of joggers with an oversized hoodie. He didn’t bother putting shoes on because his Saihara was home.
Rushing down the stairs taking it three steps at a time, Oma almost fell down the whole staircase. He was so excited to run down to see Saihara. To just be able to finally have him there so he could feel safe. So he could feel love.
This reality was shattered when the boy entered his shared home with Momota and Harukawa. Oma’s eyes narrowed and he stopped in his tracks.
“Ah Oma-Kun, it’s nice to see you up.” Saihara said before Oma lost it. He was already on edge so it didn’t take much to set him off.
“Oh, you acknowledge me now? That’s hilarious Shumai~ You must have had so much fun with that dumbass you had forgotten about little old me~ Which is A-okay! According to the bro code, dumbasses aren’t supposed to interact with other people’s significant others~ But who’s to say that Dumbass Momota-Chan knew any of that! Because in his world there are no rules!” Oma yelled, causing Saihara to give him a confused glance from his change in demeanor.
“Don’t call me a dumbass you lying bastard!” Momota yelled, setting Oma off even more. Oma laughed his signature laugh before glaring at Momota.
“And since the world has no rules we are subject to anarchy what is your ass of a brain going to do for you asstronaught Momota-Chan~,” He said letting his eyes close a bit more. He was obviously barely staying awake and Saihara could tell he could fall over at any moment.
“You really think I’m that dumb? What brought this up!? You honestly are calling me dumb?! Look at Saihara-Kun, he made the decision to be around a lying bastard like you and even decided to take it a step farther and plans on marrying you! You are a manipulative liar and have Saihara-Kun wrapped around your finger! No wonder he needs to sneak away to spend time with us!” Momota said before Harukawa smacked him on the back of the head.
“Momota!” Saihara called out moving his hands to try and help Oma stand. Oma smacked his hands away and glared at him.
“No, he is right about that! I guess I’m just not worth your time!” Oma yelled, letting some tears come out of his eyes. Momota and Harukawa ended up standing there silently, not wanting to make the argument that Momota technically started worse.
“Right? You feel like you have to lie to me to even be able to hang out with your own friends! Why do you try to lie to me, Saihara-Chan?! Don’t you love me like you said? Or was that a fucking lie too?!” Oma said his breathing got more erratic as the argument commenced.
“What are you talking about Oma? I love spending time with you. I just was-” Oma cut him off. “Oh, I know what you were doing! You call me a liar, but you are the worst one I know! You don’t love me! I can’t believe I actually thought you did! Maybe I’m the dumbass here!”Saihara was becoming more irritated with Oma’s behavior. And after spending the morning with Momota he was already in a mood where he needed some time to decompress being in a social situation. So they were both sleep-deprived, angry, and in need of comfort, but they both were too far in…that this major detail will be overlooked.
“Well what if I don’t want to make you feel like you have to tolerate Momota-Chan because I want to hang out with him?! I don’t want to make you feel like you have to be there because if you aren’t you would be missing out. You aren’t missing out Oma!” Saihara yelled, making Oma’s eyes start to twitch.
“I don’t care if Momota-Chan is there! I want to hang out with you instead of being tossed out like trash to rot in OUR OWN HOME! WITHOUT A MESSAGE OR A CALL OR ANYTHING TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE or when YOU WILL BE BACK!!” He screamed, making Saihara lose all his patience.
“If you see it that way, fine!” He shouted before continuing. “You can be so hard to love sometimes!” He said slowly taking a dangerous path.
“Hard to love?! You think I don’t know that! Choose your words carefully Saihara.” Oma said before Saihara had one final explosion of anger.
“I thought I wanted this! But you make me feel so confused! Sometimes I don’t want to have to go looking for the truth after that’s all I do all day! Who would ever love a boy like you?!” Tears came out of his eyes from the words he said, “Oma wait I didn’t mean to say that-” He started regretting every word that left his mouth. Sure he believed some of them, but he didn’t hate Oma.
Who could ever love a boy like you? Saihara never meant to say those words. He regretted it. The look on Oma's face just made that feeling worsen. He loved Oma with all his heart, but sometimes he just felt so confused about the liar himself. And today was one of the days where he just wanted to come home and spend time with Oma…but Oma was already in a weird mood, making him confused all over again.
But Saihara loved being able to figure out puzzles. And Oma was one of the hardest ones he has had to face so far. He loved it as well as disliked it at times. Regardless of all the confusion and frustration, he never hated Oma’s lies. He came to become fond of them.
His face was blank for a moment before he scowled. “I see how it is. Goodbye, Saihara.” Oma said, turning away from Saihara and walking out the front door without another word. Saihara wanted to run after him and apologize to him…but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He was so angry with himself he didn’t think he deserved to run after Oma. After what he said Oma should never want to come back to him. Never.
“Oh god…what have I done.” Tear after tear came from Saihara’s eyes. He was broken and breaking more and more as the words Oma said with that bitter tone and that gaze. The gaze Saihara hoped he would never have to see. The gaze of pure betrayal. He betrayed Oma with his words. He betrayed him…and Saihara isn’t able to forgive himself for that kind of betrayal.
He was a terrible person. At least that’s what Saihara thought.
…
Oma walked for a long while. Each step he took he became more angry or sad. He wasn’t sure. He felt infuriated that Saihara had ended up saying that to him, but he felt a more overwhelming feeling of despair at his words.
Who would ever love a boy like you?
How true those words were to Oma. It hurt. Burning his suspicion that Saihara was definitely too good for him.
Deep down he knew he was no good. He knew that he was supposed to be alone. Just like all of his former classmates presumed he would be. Because he is a liar.
No one would want to love a liar. Saihara just stated the truth.
Who would love him?
Oma walked down the sidewalk for a long while. He didn’t know where he was going and frankly didn’t care. He was only wearing socks so it was obvious to anyone around him that he was not intending to come outside . Or at least that would be the ‘normal” presumption of such behavior.
Oma didn’t care in the slightest about this. He wanted nothing more than to be at home with Saihara. But his stubborn nature and how hurt he felt were pushing him away from him. Comfort was what he wanted and the one person he wanted it from hurt him. So he didn’t know where to go. He didn’t want to go home. He didn’t even want to go near that place after what he heard. Knowing deep down Saihara didn’t mean those words didn’t help change the fact that he said them. To his face no less.
Being distracted by his own thoughts he didn’t even notice the people around him. Or even acknowledge that there were people around him. Before he knew it he had fallen to the ground with a person standing in front of him.
He must have bumped into him and this must have caused him to fall. Pain shot through his lower body where he had embraced the floor. He flinched. “Ouch…” Those hushed words left his mouth as he slowly moved his hand to his forehead.
“Oma-Kun?” Hearing his name Oma looked up to the person almost immediately. He looked up at Amami standing over him. What are the odds of him running into Amami?
“Ah Amami-Chan.” Taking his hand Oma stood up and brushed off his pants. “Oma-Kun you look like you got hit by a bus…why don’t we sit down somewhere.” Politely Amami offered his arm for Oma to take. Feeling overly sluggish while the feeling of tears welling in his eyes made his nose hurt he nodded. He just wanted to be able to calm down after all of this. Oma was out of it. That much was certain. But what he didn’t know was that Amami was sent by Akamatsu to find him.
Amami led him to a bench nearby and sat next to him. “So, what’s been going on today to make you look like you haven’t slept in three years?” Oma laughed at this. “Well, I just happened to hear my beloved detective say something so horribly rude to me!” He exclaimed, letting some fake tears fall down his cheeks. Rolling his eyes, Amami patted his back.
“There there. Now be honest with me, what did he say to you?” Oma flinched at his words but kept his forced smile in tack. He was not going to let his mask slip because of how sleep-deprived and irritated he was. At least not again.
“He said ‘who would ever love a boy like you’. I mean what gives? Who wouldn’t love the ultimate supreme leader?!” His laughter returned. Amami gave him a knowing look. He knew those words must have really hurt Oma. Sure he was laughing and lying about it. But Amami knew. Oma was wearing his resting clothes for his day off, his hair was not done or even brushed, and he looked super tired . So something must have happened and it could have something to do with Oma and his lies.
“Oma-Kun that seems more serious than you’re making it seem.” He stated plainly. Oma wiped one of the remaining fake tears off his cheek. Scoffing at his statement.
“Nu-uh! This is the truth! He said such hurtful words I was going to find my subordinates to teach him a lesson for saying such things to someone as well respected as me!” His hands moved to tell the story. Going from making motions of him walking to them all the way to him clasping his hands together. Representing Saihara’s demise for committing such a villainous act.
“Well, I wouldn’t say-“ he started to give his response before another voice cut him short.
“You are always so loud. You definitely still got a ways to go, Oma-Kun.” Hoshi walked over to the bench they were sitting on and invited himself to sit next to Oma. Oma looked surprised, similar to Amami. What was Hoshi doing here?
“What are you doing here Hoshi-Kun?” Amami questioned, causing Hoshi to shrug. “I was just walking to clear my thoughts before I heard something that was concerning.” He turned to Oma.
“Saihara really told you that ‘no one would love a boy like you?’” He frowned in disbelief, but to anyone, it could have looked like a slightly more depressing resting face for the small tennis player. Oma soon started his theatrical story up once more.
“I KNOW who knew my beloved Saihara would be able to do something so cruel!” He gasped letting more fake tears fall down his cheeks. But at this point Oma wasn’t sure if they had been fake or not. “Oma-Kun. You don’t have to lie.” Hoshi said, keeping his gaze on Oma. Oma’s eye twitched once before he smiled and closed his eyes.
“Lying?” He paused putting his finger to his lips. “But everything I have said is true!” He tapped his lip making Hoshi sigh.
“Saihara-Chan really did say that! We got into a fight and he decided to use words that cut so much deeper than any blade~ but then again maybe that was a lie!” With a wink, he laughed some more. Irritated, Amami cut back into the conversation.
“Oma-Kun you know that you can lie in presenting a true statement right?” Oma looked shocked for a split second before the smile was back. A bit more forced than before though. “He is right, you know. You can be telling the truth of the matter, but the presentation is what sets the tone. And you are using your normal demeanor to hide the truth.” Hoshi said, putting his hand to his chin.
“What do you guys mean? I understand what you are saying, but who’s to say I’m not lying or if I’m lying?” He said cautiously. His smile faded into a more creepy expression. Fitting the tone of ‘I will keep this up no matter what so don’t try to stop me’.
“But you are. Deep down those words hurt you. God, I would be lying to you if I said that someone saying those words to me didn’t hurt me. It’s okay to let yourself feel Oma-Kun. It’s just us. You can trust us.” Amami said wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Hoshi nodded and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Oma-Kun. Your lies are what keep you running from your enemy. The truth. But sometimes you have to put your lies aside and accept the truth. Or at least let yourself be honest for once. Not honest to us, but honest to yourself.” Hoshi’s words got Oma thinking. If he was just honest with Saihara earlier he could have been in bed with him getting the rest he desires. But here he is in the middle of a park near his house with two of his good friends conveniently there with him.
What if he just told the truth? Why is it so hard for him to tell the truth?
“You may be right- but lying is just so much easier! Come on guys~ I love messing with Saihara like this! Don’t take away my fun!” He exclaimed, putting his arms up. Hoshi just sighed.
“If you are unwilling to be honest with yourself you and Saihara may never be able to resolve this issue. Me and my girlfriend got into fights like this and I had to be willing, to be honest with her. We made compromises and talked about how we were feeling and what set off the argument in the first place. But without trust and honesty, you can not have a conversation. Because a conversation is between two people, so to have a good one you must be putting in your end of the bargain.” Hoshi then stood up and looked back at Oma.
“That is all I have to say. Just know if he does love you honesty won’t drive him away from you, but lies just might.” With that Hoshi walked away from them. Amami looked at Oma.
“Why don’t we go back to Saihara-Kun and you can both talk this over.” Oma looked at him with a groan. “But Saihara-Chan is so boring! He will probably cry over his beloved leader being gone for so long! You wouldn’t want to watch those waterworks would you?” He said, smirking at Amami.
“Okay okay, but what if I walk back with you and then leave you two to figure things out?” He said making Oma’s eyes narrow. “Okay fine! But only because you asked so nicely.” He grumbled getting up off the bench. Amami smiled and walked with Oma back to his home.
…
The chorus of the ringing of a phone was heard at Saihara’s home. He called Akamatsu. Not because he wanted to get together with her after Oma up and walked out the door. More along the lines of he wanted her advice on what he should say to repair things with Oma.
“Ah Saihara-Kun?” Akamatsu said on the other side of the phone. Saihara tried to speak, but broken sobs were all that left his mouth. Harukawa and Momota left moments after Oma pushed past them and walked out of the house. Momota muttered an apology, but that would never be enough to fix what Saihara felt he solely broke.
“Akamatsu-San, I messed up.” He ended up saying before Akamatsu seemed to jump into action. “I’ll be there in 5 minutes.” Was all he heard on her end of the phone before the call ended. Saihara just stared at the screen.
There was his lock screen. That picture of him and Oma both smiling at a date they went on a while back. Oma thought it would be hilarious to force Saihara to go to the park with him to play on the playground. There were other children there and Saihara remembers how embarrassed he felt. Not only because he felt out of place being there with all those children, but he felt embarrassed because of how his boyfriend was putting him in the spotlight by calling his name while he was tugging on his sleeve. Like a child would.
He laughed at the memory before he started crying again. “Why did I say that?” Asking himself to let the whole situation sink into his shoulders. He said something that he could never take back. Sure he was tired, but that is never an excuse to say things like that to Oma. Even if he was being accused of things that weren’t true. He should have never said those words.
“Oh god.” He put his head in his arms. Giving himself the false comfort that he was okay and that nothing was wrong. But the door opened with Akamatsu standing in the doorway. The reality that he briefly avoided came plummeting back onto his shoulders.
“Saihara-Kun, what the heck is going on?” Akamatsu said, walking over to put a hand on his shoulder. Flinching back, Saihara tried to compose himself. The look of confusion on Akamatsu’s face made his guilt deepen.
This was all his fault. And now he was dragging Akamatsu into this mess as well…good going Saihara.
“I said something to Oma because I was sleep-deprived. Momota insisted on going out this morning…and when I was preparing to make breakfast for Oma- like I do every morning- he pulled me out of my door to take me on a hike with him. I didn’t want to go. But now I made a mistake. One that I don’t think he will ever forgive me for.” Saihara broke down at the statement. The words were so bitter dripping from his lips onto the table in front of him. Laying out the story of the worst mistake he has ever made. Just to taunt him with the letters that he wanted carved into his skin.
Who would ever love a boy like you?
Oma didn’t deserve to have those words said to him. If anyone did it should have been Saihara. He has a loving and caring boyfriend that he adores. Everyday he is able to come back home to him is one full of love and warmth. But now…he knows that his warmth was taken from him. Well, that implies that someone else took him from him…more like he willingly pushed him away because of the situation he was placed in.
Sleep deprivation can make a person act drunk. Saihara always shrugged that off, but now that he is in this present moment it made all the more sense. He was drunk on the false promise of good sleep. So his words were slurred. Not that this was an excuse. Just something to make him have an idea of what he should do to prevent this from happening again.
“Okay. What did you end up saying?” Saihara was so consumed with his own thoughts he had almost forgotten Akamatsu was there with him. He felt disgusting. He felt disgusted with himself. More than usual.
“I said…uh,” tears were on the brink of falling down onto the table as he wanted to cry. Crying wouldn’t help. It never does when one is being held accountable for something they did wrong. Doing something about it instead of running away crying would be preferable. But what did Saihara keep doing when things got like this with anyone close to him? He ran. Because he was still afraid of facing the truth.
“Who would ever love a boy like you.” Those words shattered the glass on Akamatsu’s understanding of the situation. “Oh Saihara…” silence soon followed. Even Akamatsu didn’t know what to say to him after he said this. Maybe he really is repugnant. Maybe he deserves to be hated by everyone-
“Listen. I know you didn’t mean to say that to him. That much is obvious seeing where we are now.” Her hand moved to hold a firm grip on his shoulder. Saihara looked up at her. Determination coated her gaze and made him feel more confident in working towards a solution- instead of his pity party he was hosting while he wallowed in self-hatred.
“But look. Knowing Oma-Kun there have been times he has said things he shouldn’t have. But that’s just in-the-moment thinking. You aren’t able to completely process things in the moment when it’s as heated as it must have been.” She sat in the chair next to him pushing his chair so he was facing her. “So listen to me Saihara-Kun. You need to talk to him and talk the situation out together.”
“But how can I do that?” He muttered before she cupped his cheek and wiped away a stray tear. “You are still afraid of facing the truth, Saihara-Kun. Just be honest with him. Even if he is still angry I’m sure that he will appreciate your honesty. Sure this is Oma-Kun we are talking about, but you love him,” she said with a smile. Nudging his shoulder a bit as a smile broke out onto his face.
“And he loves you. So just talk to him.” She finished moving to stand up. Holding her arms out for Saihara. Saihara smiled a bit and sniffled again before he moved over to hug her. “Thank you for that Akamatsu-San.” A laugh came from Saihara as some stray tears fell down his cheeks. Her hands moved to pat his back.
“It’s okay Saihara-Kun, but now you need to be ready to confront Oma-Kun.” She smirked letting Saihara know that she was up to something. Before he could ask her what it was- she ended up cutting him off.
“Amami-Kun is on his way with Oma-Kun. So be ready to confront your boyfriend Saihara-Kun.” She said smiling again. Her words added to the warmth of her smile. Saihara felt so happy and grateful that he was able to have such a good friend like Akamatsu.
“Thank you.” Was all he could mutter to Akamatsu. She pulled out her phone before typing one last message to Amami. “He’s on his way.”
…
“Ugh- why did I let you drag me all the way back here? What if I don’t even want to talk to Shumai? Just kidding that was a lie! Thank you so so much for taking me back here! You can leave now!” He said with a wave. Amami pulled him into a brief hug.
“Just remember what Hoshi-Kun said, ‘Just know if he does love you honesty won’t drive him away from you, but lies just might.’” With that Amami walked away leaving Oma alone with the door.
Staring at the door just made Oma feel even more guilty.
Why didn’t I just tell him the truth right when he got back. Just tell him ‘why weren’t you here and why didn’t you text me?’ Would that have really been so hard?
Oma cursed at himself before he opened the door. His heart cracked a bit when he opened the door. Akamatsu was in his house holding Saihara while he was away. Oma turned to walk right back out the door but arms quickly pulled him down to the floor.
The wind almost got knocked out of him as Saihara held him super tightly. They did end up falling onto the carpet of the front room from the force of the embrace. Neither of them cared. Because at that moment they were both together again.
Oma’s anger at Akamatsu being here instead of him melted away when he was finally back in contact with what he craved. Saihara Shuichi. He craved his warmth, the way he made him feel, and how he was able to just hold him after that whole ordeal and still make him feel more love than pain.
“Oh Oma- I am so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so so sorry! I should have never said those words to you! I love you more than anything and want you to be happy! I want to be with you until the end of time and even past that because I love you way too much to not do so! So please don’t let this end after I made a horrible mistake and hurt you more than I can imagine-“
“Oh my god Saihara, you are still so needy~ it’s because I wasn’t here to hold you wasn’t it?” Oma just laughed and kisses Saihara’s cheek. The door closed as Akamatsu left, giving Saihara a thumbs up before leaving the house.
“Oma, I know those words hurt you and I will never be able to be forgiven for what I did so please don’t leave me.” He teared up, making Oma sigh. “Saihara, stop wallowing in self-pity and listen to what I’m about to tell you.” He held Saihara’s face in his hands and made sure to make eye contact with him.
“I love you. I shouldn’t have lied like that earlier. It was definitely my bad, but I don’t hate you Shumai. I know you didn’t mean it and it was more in the moment thinking. At least I hope so. Or you would be in some serious trouble, Shumai! The police may end up coming after you!” Saihara laughed a bit letting himself snuggle closer to Oma who was lying on his chest.
“I’m glad that you aren’t mad, I don’t deserve you. I was supposed to be comforting you after that- thing was said. But you ended up making me feel better.” Oma smiled adoringly at Saihara after he mumbled that into his shirt.
“Well, I do love you! You do still have to earn my full forgiveness- which means Shumai you are going to be my servant for the next few days! Then just maybe I will forgive you!” He said moving up a bit more so Saihara was able to hold him a bit closer.
“Okay, whatever you say Oma. I will do as you ask.” He smiled before Oma looked at him with tired eyes.
“Before we do that, I have a confession.” He said looking away from Saihara for a moment. Saihara was confused by the mood change and looked at him confused. “Confession?”
“Yes~ something I haven’t admitted to my beloved! I have a horrible disease! I can not rest unless my beloved Shumai is holding me close to him. So when you weren’t here today my sleep was ruined and I was so angry at you my beloved! You are so bad~” Saihara ignored the last statement and soon put his words together.
Oma must have been tired from me leaving early. And then when I wasn’t there when he woke up he must have been even more irritated. Damn…I wish he just told me sooner that would have helped avoid this whole thing. But then again. Oma is Oma and regardless of his odd ways of telling me things and his lying, I love him.
“I see, sorry I-“ he was about to speak but Oma just kissed him silent. “No no~ Shumai I make the rules remember! You are my servant my beloved! So take me up to our room and let me get my rest while you cuddle me! It is vital to my continued-“ he yawned and closed his eyes. “Existence.” He finished cuddling into Saihara feeling more exhausted as more time passed.
“Goodnight Oma,” he whispered, planting a kiss on his forehead. Saihara picked him up and walked with him to their room. Without moving away from him he laid down on the bed with Oma. He cuddled him and kissed both sides of his face. “I love you. Know that it’s okay to tell me these things. I am here for you. To listen to your words. Whether they are lies or the truth. I will do my best to understand you, Oma.” He rested his head on the pillow resting Oma’s head close to his chest.
I want him to be able to trust me with these things. But trust takes time and I know that with Oma it is more time than it is with most. Even if it takes years I will work to figure the little parts of Oma out.
With new determination, Saihara silently promised that he would be there for Oma to help him sleep better and to help him feel loved. Even if Oma keeps hiding these truths under jokes and lies. Saihara is determined to uncover them. To uncover the truth behind Oma.