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The late night sky was a vibrant kind of black that demanded attention. Baekhyun was drawn more to that image than to the garden below as he drank his tea on the balcony outside his room. Inside, the maids ran about, preparing his bath and clothes. It was just him out here. Him and his personal guard.
Kyungsoo Doh. The man was diligently watching their surroundings, as if someone could reach them from where they were without going through his room first. As always, Baekhyun found himself observing his knight. How strange. He was eye-catching under the moonlight like this. So serious and focused. Baekhyun wondered why he cared so much to protect him after what his country had done to his people.
Tilting his head, Baekhyun asked, “Would you die for me, Kyungsoo?”
“Yes.” Not even pausing to think.
“Because it’s your duty.”
“Because it’s my duty,” Kyungsoo agreed. He’d glanced over at Baekhyun’s question, but now returned his attention forward. “And because I belong to you.”
With a hum, Baekhyun watched a shooting star streak across the sky. He’d heard of a kingdom somewhere far away that saw power in such a common phenomenon. There, it was custom to make a wish. “If you could have anything, what would you want?”
“I don’t wish for anything, Your Highness.”
“Everyone wants something. Would you lie to your prince?”
“I can’t say what I want.”
“I wouldn’t punish you for your desires. I trust you not to act on foolish thoughts.”
A cool breeze passed. Baekhyun didn’t have to shiver for Kyungsoo to remove his coat, laying it gently on his shoulders. “I have many foolish thoughts,” he said quietly. Then pulled away. “You wouldn’t have to punish me for it to feel like a punishment.”
“In other words, just saying your desires out loud would be punishment enough?”
Kyungsoo nodded. Baekhyun let out a breath, half a laugh and a sigh.
“Very well.”
That was all. Enough of a conversation to satiate Baekhyun for a bit. His tea was turning cold. Maybe it was time to turn in. His personal knight wasn’t known for talking much; that should have been the end of the conversation. But Kyungsoo surprised him.
“May I ask,” he said, and hesitated before continuing, “what you would want, if you could have anything?”
“Peace between the kingdoms,” Baekhyun said without hesitation. “The end of these territorial wars. I want to help my people. Fund more schools, help ease the poverty in the outer cities, and… I don’t want to be king,” he said. He’d nearly cut himself off; such a claim could be the end of him. There were people behind him, relying on him. It was irresponsible of him to feel that way, dangerous to even say out loud. And yet he felt like he could. “My brother could take the throne. I just want to do research. Make people’s lives better. Start programs, see the citizens face to face instead of from the castle.”
Kyungsoo was silent. Baekhyun felt that something in him was tightening with each moment that passed. He wet his lips.
“Do you resent me?” Baekhyun asked. Then, with a bitter laugh, “We ruined your homeland. You belong to me only because you were sold in exchange for ‘peace.’ You can never go back to your family. You can never get out of this hellhole. You’ll probably,” no, not probably, but definitely, “live as long as I live, and die beside me if I don’t fulfill my role. The role I don’t even want to take.”
It had been the result of a political battle lost, receiving Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo had sacrificed himself to save his people. He was the best warrior of the people Baekhyun’s father overtook, but he was from a group of rebels, carrying with him a reputation that would lower his owner’s political standing. Baekhyun worked hard to overcome the shadow of Kyungsoo’s history. In the end, he had a knight he could trust with his life, a strong political backing, and the guilt of his part in ruining Kyungsoo’s future.
Kyungsoo could never live longer than him. Either he died with Baekhyun or he died earlier, protecting him.
The night air was getting chillier by the second. It was time to go inside. Kyungsoo wasn’t going to answer, but it was enough that he didn’t. That told Baekhyun enough.
“Call a maid to clean these,” Baekhyun said. He stood. “It’s getting cold.”
He was turning away from the table when Kyungsoo stopped him. His hand caught his wrist. Baekhyun froze in shock; it was disrespectful to touch someone of royalty so brazenly. “Kyungsoo?”
“I- I apologize.” Instantly, Kyungsoo released him and knelt, bowing his head. “Please punish me, Your Highness. I acted without thinking.”
Kyungsoo sounded flustered for once. Baekhyun lowered his hand. “Stand.”
Obediently, Kyungsoo did, keeping his gaze respectfully to the ground.
“Look at me,” Baekhyun said. A moment of uncertainty. Then Kyungsoo lifted his eyes, and what Baekhyun saw there led him to step closer. Like this, they were out of sight from the large windows leading into his room. No one would be able to see them unless they were in the garden below. “What did you want to say?”
“Nothing, Your Highness.”
“Are you lying to avoid punishment again?”
“It isn’t proper for me to speak to Your Highness so comfortably.”
“I told you to before,” Baekhyun said. “I’ll tell you again, if you need. Speak comfortably to me. Tell me what made you grab my wrist.”
“It was a mistake.”
“You acted without thinking. You’re usually meticulous in everything you do. Tell me what brought you to make such a mistake.”
They stared at each other. Baekhyun could wait all night. In fact, he expected more resistance than what he got — a brief breath of nothing and Kyungsoo looked away before remembering his order to look at him. “I hated you,” he said.
Of course. It was his chest that was tightening. Baekhyun smiled. “It’s well deserved.”
“I hated you,” Kyungsoo repeated. “But I have stood by you since. I have seen what you are capable of doing. What you do for your people. What you want for them. And,” he took a breath, “I know what happened wasn’t your fault.”
“My father’s decisions are my own.”
“They aren’t,” Kyungsoo said.
“Yes, they are. He’s the king, and I-”
“What the king does is not a reflection of what you would have done,” Kyungsoo said fiercely. “Loyalty to your father doesn’t mean approval of his actions. The king can be wrong.”
Baekhyun’s eyes widened. They were on a balcony, the wind a white noise to mask their low voices, but what he was saying was blasphemy. He could be killed for that simple sentence. “Kyungsoo.”
“Was I permitted to speak freely?”
“I… yes.”
“I don’t hate you now,” Kyungsoo said. “I never… not for a moment after being sold did I think that I belonged to anyone else. I belonged to myself and my people and that was all. Everything I did during that time was for them. Not for you. But I’m saying that I belong to you now. Of my own volition.”
“I don’t understand.”
“My body belongs to you. My life belongs to you. My heart…” Kyungsoo paused, and in that held breath Baekhyun wanted to reach for him. But Kyungsoo continued. “You once told me that loyalty was earned. That you didn’t expect that from me. You even said it was fine if I killed you; that I might even get away with it if I was careful enough.”
“You know it’s easy now,” Baekhyun said with a wry smile. Assassination attempt after assassination attempt. If not for Kyungsoo and his own resourcefulness, he would already be dead.
“It is,” Kyungsoo said quietly. “I don’t understand your loyalty to your father when he doesn’t care for you at all. In many ways, I think my loyalty to you makes more sense.”
“I took so much from you.”
“That wasn’t you.”
“You thought all of these things,” Baekhyun said, “but you never said them.”
Kyungsoo’s eyes seemed to smile, though his expression didn’t change. “Your Highness. About what you said earlier… I am loyal to you. Not to the throne. Not even to the people. If you truly don’t want to become king, I will protect you and your decision with my life.”
The words stirred something within him. If he was his younger self, he would have collapsed in tears. But now he had the strength to watch Kyungsoo go on one knee, to let him hold his sword out for him to take. A knight’s oath without the script. Baekhyun circled his fingers around the hilt and lifted the weapon.
How sweet. The sound of Kyungsoo’s voice promising loyalty in whatever future he decided to bring was comforting. In another life, maybe he would have ran away from his responsibilities. But he’d grown too much to give up everything he’d worked for.
“I know what I must do,” Baekhyun said finally. “I know that I must be king to achieve what I want. It’s a small price to pay to protect what needs to be protected.”
Kyungsoo said nothing. He only remained with his head bowed and listened.
“Thank you. I accept your loyalty. And I will hold you to your oath. Now… stand.”
Something had changed. Baekhyun knew it in the way that Kyungsoo got to his feet, eyes locked steadily on his. He handed him his sword and smiled. The ache in his chest intensified for a second before waning.
“Will you choose me before the world?”
“Yes, Your Highness.”