Work Text:
“Again with the bowtruckles, Miss Lovegood?” Madam Pomfrey asked. “Or was it the thestrals this time?”
“Porlock. They’re very interesting, but this one was very protective of a unicorn it had found.”
“Yes, well, sit down and we’ll take a look.”
“I don’t believe it’s infected.”
“That’s good. And clearly you’ve learned something. Have you ever considered becoming a Healer?”
“I prefer a magizoologist, though the skill of healing would come in handy.”
“Pomfrey.”
Luna turned. Snape brought Draco over and half-dropped him on a nearby cot.
“What happened?”
“A deadly curse. I’ve negated the effects, but he will still require care. Essence of Dittany will be essential.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. Miss Lovegood? I believe you know enough by now to tend to your own injuries.”
“Yes, Madam Pomfrey.” She stood. Luna walked over to find the vials she needed along with some bandages. She set to work on her own arm while Madam Pomfrey fretted over the Slytherin. Lunda wondered what Professor Snape had meant by “deadly curse” but she thought it would be better to not wander too far down that realm. Many wizards had gone mad in pursuit of research.
“I’ll be leaving now,” she announced.
XXX
“Again, Miss Lovegood?”
“I thought I had added the ingredients correctly, but it would appear not.”
Madam Pomfrey waved her wand. “You’ll need a few potions. Sit.”
She nodded. “Hello, Draco. You’re looking much better today.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You know who I am?”
“Yes. Though for various reasons, I suppose.” She tilted her head. “Your head is very full of wrackspurts. That won’t do well for your recovery. It’s difficult to heal when your brain’s all fuzzy.”
He scoffed. “You’re Loony Lovegood, aren’t you?”
“I am. It’s an honor to be known by a Slytherin such as yourself.”
“Here you are, Miss Lovegood.” Madam Pomfrey handed her a vial. “You’ll need to spend the night for that one to work as it ought to.”
She downed the contents. “Thank you.”
“Get into a lot of trouble, do you?”
“I tend to be rather curious, and it does come with its dangers.” She shrugged.
“I thought Ravenclaws were supposed to be the smart ones.”
“Intelligence is quantifiable by many different things. I’m not the brightest witch in any of my classes, but I prefer to learn about things that aren’t always discussed about in textbooks.” She looked at him. “You’ve an awful lot on your mind.”
“Yeah? Well maybe I don’t want to tell you about it. Ever think of that?”
“That’s alright. You can tell me another time if you wish or keep it all to yourself.”
XXX
Draco sighed. He shivered despite his coat as he walked. He needed to think. He needed to get away from everything. If the Forbidden Forest was the best place for him to do that, then so be it.
He stopped. She held her hand up in the air, back turned to him. He was cold, but her? The girl didn’t have a single thing on her feet.
“Lovegood?” He walked over to her. “It is Lovegood, right?”
“Hello, Draco.”
“How are you not freezing right now?”
“I suppose I’m used to it.” She looked at her bare feet. “Several of my things have gone missing. I suspect nargles are at play.”
“Right.” He rolled his eyes. “What are you even doing out here?”
“Thestrals.” She looked at him. “You can’t see them, can you?”
“No.”
“That’s good. They can only be seen by people who understand death; people who have witnessed death.”
“You know someone who died?”
“My mother. She was an extraordinary witch, but she did like to experiment. I was nine when it happened.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“Your sympathy is appreciated but unnecessary. What are you doing out here?”
“Trying to think. You’re not exactly helpful right now.”
“I can see there is a deep thought brewing within your eyes. Shall I leave so you can be alone with it?”
Draco opened his mouth to tell her to go away, but for some reason, he couldn’t. “Why do you end up in the hospital wing so many times? You must’ve visited there at least five times while I was stuck in bed all day.”
“Curiosity.”
“And the idea that you could possibly die doesn’t make you terrified at all?”
“No. I’m never that curious.” She reached up and began to pet whatever it was she saw. “But everyone dies in the end, Draco. It’s sad when it happens, but I don’t believe it’s sad for the person who died; rather for the people and memories they’ve left behind.”
“You’ve figured all of that out at—what—fourteen?”
“Fifteen.”
“Whatever. No wonder you’re a bloody Ravenclaw. Bet you must have loads of friends with your wisdom-spouting nonsense.”
“Not really. Everyone in my House thinks I’m rather odd. I have some friends, but they’re all in Gryffindor.”
He shifted his weight. “You’re alone?”
“Yes.”
“How do you manage that?”
“I spend most of my time with the creatures out here. I suppose that’s why I’m often in the Hospital Wing.” Luna looked at him. “That’s not the answer you were hoping for, was it?”
“No. Guess it’s because you don’t know what it’s like to go from having everyone like to you to having everyone avoid you. And then I have my mom breathing down my back to the point where she sends a bloody professor after me! Not to mention that I have to—or else he’ll—well that’s none of your business, is it? You’re on Potter’s side anyway, aren’t you? You’re probably his little spy.”
“No. Just a friend.” Lovegood reached into her bag and held an apple out toward him. “Here. You look like you could use this.”
He took it from her. “Trying to poison me?”
“No. If I was to kill you, then I’d do it in a much more subtle way, I suppose. A misleading threat here, a suspicious move there, and you’d be dead before you knew it.”
Draco eyed the apple she had given him. His stomach growled and he took a bite. “Do you always threaten people you meet?”
“That wasn’t a threat. Merely an observation. I’m sorry you’ve become so accustomed to receiving death threats from people you ought to be close to.”
“You haven’t met my aunt.”
“I’m also sorry about what happened to your father. That must be very difficult for you and your mother.”
“Really? You’re the first person to say that. I mean, he’s a Death Eater and everything. Why should you feel sorry for me?”
“Because he’s still your father and Azkaban is a horrible place.” He looked down as she reached out to lightly touch his hand. “Being a Death Eater has nothing to do with it.”
He pulled away. “You were there though, weren’t you? When it happened? You know what my father did.”
“Yes, I was there. I might have fought against him.”
“And you don’t hate me?”
“No. You’re not a terrible person, Draco, and neither is your father. We all have our reasons for doing things. Even He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named must have a reason.”
“Even after all of the terrible stuff he’s done?”
“People can do things for the wrong reasons,” she decided after a moment. “I don’t agree with what he’s doing, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to understand the reasons behind his actions. If we don’t understand why someone did something, then we’re bound to repeat the same history. Sadly, I’ve found that most everyone will only look at what they see and not what they ought to understand.” Her gaze drifted over the empty forest in front of them. “Rather like thestrals. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there. Just because you can’t see the good in someone doesn’t mean it’s nonexistent.”
“So, if someone did something horrible, you would think that they might still have some good in them? No wonder everyone thinks you’re mad.”
“You have good in you, Draco. Even if you can’t see it yourself.”
“We’re not talking about me; we’re talking about You-Know-Who. Clearly you’re freezing out here. Your brain’s turned to ice.” He shrugged off his coat. “Here. You need this more than I do.”
“Thank you. That’s very kind of you.” Luna pulled on the coat. She looked very small in it; almost like a child playing dress up in their parents’ clothing.
“So if I was to do something horrible, you’d still think that I’m a good person?”
“Yes.”
“Even if I killed someone?”
“Would you feel guilty about it?”
“Yeah. I think I would.”
“Then you would still be a good person.”
“How can you do that? How can you stand there with that stupid look on your face and just say that ‘I’m a good person’? Do you actually hear yourself? Do you actually believe the crap you’re saying? What’s to stop me from taking out my wand and killing you right here? Would you still believe I’m a ‘good person’ then?”
To his surprise, Luna wrapped her arms around him. Draco stiffened. He had expected her to yell at him or even to give him some dreamy answer. But a hug?
What surprised him even more was how the longer the hug went on, the more he wanted to return it. His arms crept up around her back. He leaned into her touch. It felt nice.
And then he started crying into her shoulder. Everything he had felt that entire year burst forth. Here he was, Draco Malfoy, sobbing his heart out on the shoulder of a fifth year who looked as if she could barely support his weight. A completely mad fifth year.
She didn’t say anything. She didn’t try to calm him down. She just let him cry until he couldn’t. All she did was hug him.
“I’m sorry.” He sniffed. “Don’t know why I did that.”
“That’s alright. We don’t have to know everything; just most things.” She handed him his coat back. Luna reached around her neck. She took off the strange necklace with a butterbeer cork on one end and placed it in his hand. “Here. I use it to keep away the nargles, but I think you could use it more than I can.” She walked away. “I suppose you know where to find me if you’re ever in need of a friend.”
He stared at the odd charm she had given him. He had no idea what a “nargle” was. But for some reason, he still looped it around his neck and tucked it under his shirt so no one could see.
XXX
Draco stared at the Vanishing Cabinet. It was almost completed. He could send the signal for the Death Eaters any day now.
But they’re not the ones who have to kill Dumbledore. You are.
His hand drifted to his chest where he could feel the cork beneath his shirt. You’re still a good person. Even if she’s the only one who believes you. You’re still a good person.
XXX
He followed after them through Hogwarts. The Death Eaters battled the Aurors on either side of him. He stumbled. Dumbledore’s body vanished from view in his mind. The green light of the spell obscured his vision.
He’s dead. I did this. I made this happen.
They led him outside. The plan was to get outside of Hogwarts’ borders. That way they could apparate away. Draco looked over his shoulder at the castle outlined by the sky. Ravenclaw Tower was somewhere there. Luna would be there.
Do you still think I’m a good person?
XXX
Draco opened the door of his cellar. He crept down the stairs and lit his wand so he could see better. She sat against a wall. He walked over to her.
“Hello, Draco.”
“Still think I’m a good person? After everything I’ve done?”
“Bellatrix is the one to blame for this. And He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. You had no part of this.”
He knelt down. “Is that really what you think?”
“It’s what I know.” She sat up with some effort. “I heard you talking to them. You said it wouldn’t be worth their effort if I was tortured. You were being very kind.”
“Didn’t do you much good, did it?”
“Very little, I’m afraid. Thankfully, Madam Pomfrey’s advice has helped me heal myself quite a bit.”
“Here.” He dug into his shirt and pulled off the charm. “Guess you need this more than I do now.”
“You kept it with you?”
“Yeah. So?” He put her around her neck. “There. Looks more like you, Lovegood.” Draco sat down across from her with a sigh. “I’m not the person you think I am,” he softly admitted. “I’m not good.”
“Just because you tell yourself something doesn’t make it true.”
“How is it so easy for you to just say stuff like that? Doesn’t it bother you that everything’s gone completely mad? You’re sitting in my cellar recovering after my aunt just tortured you. And you still want to believe that I’m a good person? Why don’t you fight back? Get angry? Do something?”
“People become irrational when they’re upset. They make mistakes. Terrible things happen.”
Draco blinked. Luna toyed with the charm. Her voice had gone distant just then—even more than it usually did.
“Is that what happened to your mom?” he guessed. “When she died?”
“She got upset because one of her spells wasn’t working the way it should’ve. Dad tried to calm her down. I had gone to see what all the shouting was about. Then her spell backfired. It was awful. There wasn’t time to take her to St. Mungo’s. She was too weak.” Luna looked at him. “That’s why I try not to let my anger get the better of me. If it’s necessary, I’ll fight back, but only then.”
“Does anyone else know?”
“I don’t believe so. You’re the only one I’ve ever told that story to.”
“I’m sorry. About your mom.” He brushed a strand of her hair back. “I’ll try to tell her not to torture you so much next time. You don’t deserve that. You did nothing wrong.”
“Neither did you.”
“Dumbledore—”
“That was Professor Snape’s doing. Not yours.”
“It might as well have been me.” He stood. “And um—Luna?”
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry. I’m not the person you thought I was.”
XXX
Draco walked through the Forbidden Forest. The war was over. And there she was, bare feet and everything, petting what looked like a skeletal horse.
“Thestral?”
Luna nodded. “I’m sorry you have to know what they look like.”
“I guess a lot of people will know what they look like now. The war’s over. Shouldn’t you be celebrating or something?”
“I’ve never been one for parties.”
“Me neither.” He looked at her feet. “Didn’t wear shoes during the battle?”
“I did. But they appear to have gone missing since then.”
He shifted his weight. “I’m glad,” he admitted, “to see that you’re still alive after all of that.”
“Thank you. I’m happy to see you’re alive as well.”
“Still think I’m a good person?”
“No.”
“Oh.” Somehow, that made him feel even worse.
“I know you are.”
His head snapped up. “What changed your mind?”
“Nothing.” She looked at him. “But I can see that you’ve begun to see the good in yourself once again. You still have quite a long way to go, but you’ve taken the first step. That’s often the most difficult part.”
“So what happens now?”
“Life continues on. The way it always has.” She handed him a necklace.
“But this is yours. I gave this back to you.”
“I know. I made one for you to keep.” Luna smiled. “Something to remember me by, I suppose. That way you know that you’re not alone.”
Draco looped the charm around his neck. “You know, part of me sort of wishes we had met earlier. Maybe things would’ve been different if we had.”
“I believe we met at the correct time. Time only moves forward, after all.” She gave his hand a squeeze. “I sincerely hope our paths cross again.”
“Yeah. Me too.” He smiled.
For the first time since his sixth year when he was told he had to kill Albus Dumbledore, Draco Malfoy smiled.
All because of the Ravenclaw who believed in him.
