Archive of Our Own ^beta

Sometimes, Yin Hanjiang dreams. He'd learned to not sleep, but the blissful feeling of nothingness brought to his soul became a pleasure he indulged in, if only to be able to hide his emotions another day. Now, he still sleeps, although for a much different reason. He sleeps, simply to get the opportunity to wake up next to the one he's loved for so many years, like a dream come true. But that's why sometimes, he can only lay awake, unable to find rest. Because a dream come true always has this double edge ; what if it's just that, a dream? He'd lived for a long time, but nothing terrified him more than to wake up, and realize he'd been dreaming all along. He isn't sure he could go back to how things were before, was he to wake up.

Sometimes, he dreams of the past. He is brought back to old memories he thought he forgot, buried deep underneath alongside unruly emotions. They were many, small joys, pain, love, or even terror.
Yin Hanjiang wasn't often afraid, even in the past. He didn't mind dying, not if it was for his Venerable. But he was terrified of the opposite. Of his Venerable dying before him, leaving him alone, without a purpose.
Their enemies were many. When they took over the Xuanyuan sect, it marked Wenren È as the Lord of Demons, the face of demonic cultivation. A target to eliminate. And one day, it almost happened. It was such a bright day too.

"Protector Yin."
At those words, the man fell on one knee, bowing down in front of his Venerable.
"We have more cleaning to do today. I want you to accompany this Venerable to a few sects."
"This subordinate understands." He replied without a second thought. With the power he'd been granted, he would go to the end of the world and back, simply for this man, was he to order it.

They left immediately. Yin Hanjiang was slow, too slow compared to his Venerable as he constantly fought the Demonic Sword's influence. Such a simple trip took them hours, when Wenren È could've done the same in a matter of minutes, if not seconds. The protector kept his face the same, but inside, a storm raged.
Weak.
Too weak.
He needs to get stronger.
But the Lord of Demons didn't say a thing, and simply walked inside the buildings, shattering their protective barriers like he was crumpling paper. And yet, the trap clenched its jaws on both of them. Yin Hanjiang reacted a fraction of second before the Venerable, shielding him with all he had : his sword and body, as a dozen weapons tore into him. Blood pooled to his feet, but not all of it was his.

He didn't quite hear what his Venerable said that day. His ears were ringing and Yin Hanjiang wasn't sure if it was out of rage or blood loss. Probably both. He remembers how the soil had been tainted red that day, and how warm Wenren È's hands felt as the protector fell to the ground.

He remembers opening his eyes in a familiar place.

"Welcome back, Protector Yin." Wenren È said next to him.

"Venerable…" The words came out of his mouth before he could stop them. He attempted to rise, only to be pushed back by a strong yet gentle hand.

"Don't move. You still haven't fully recovered." The Venerable said, not letting him get up.

"Venerable… I… This subordinate apologizes." Yin Hanjiang said, clenching his fists. He wishes he could kneel, but was forced to stay laying down. He could at least lower his head.

"What for?"

"This subordinate was weak. This subordinate almost let the Venerable walk into a trap. This subordinate should've been able to detect it before it endangered the Venerable." He said, unruly emotions tearing him apart. He'd been incompetent and a disgrace. The fact he was still breathing at least meant he could repay this mistake in this life rather than in the next.

"You haven't done anything wrong, Protector Yin. This Venerable knew of the trap, and was counting on it to draw out everyone at once, sparing us a tedious battle." Wenren È explained, chasing the wounded man's eyes with his, but Yin Hanjiang refused to meet his gaze. He'd ruined the Venerable's plan then.

"This subordinate-" He started before being cut off.

"But, this Venerable hadn't anticipated the danger would be greater than anticipated. Protector Yin has saved my life, and survived his first assassination attempt." A slight smile appeared on Wenren È's face. "Congratulations, Protector Yin."

This memory engraved itself deep inside Yin Hanjiang's memory. At the time, it was one of the few precious ones he had, clinging to it desperately in hard times, resenting it once his inner demons manifested themselves.

But now, his Venerable smiles at him every day. As Yin Hanjiang lays awake, overlooking his beloved's sleeping face, he barely wants to keep reminiscing about this memory. He could wait forever for Wenren È to wake up, as long as he could stare at his relaxed face along the way. He shuffles closer to the man, gently reaching for his head and barely caressing his hair, reveling in their rough yet tenderly cared for feeling under his hand. Now that the world was reduced to the both of them, Yin Hanjiang was the one taking care of it, insisting during their baths that Wenren È let him wash them, spending a long time making sure they were knotless before they could get out.
His Ah-Wu wasn't always fond of those times though.

"It huurts…" Wenren È whined as the merciless comb struck again, earning his torturer a groan.

"It'll be over soon, I promise." Yin Hanjiang replied, peppering his lover's forehead in soft kisses. "How did you even get your hair so entangled Ah-Wu?"

"It's just how it is." The Lord of Demons sighed. "It becomes a mess by simply existing. I have yet to invent the perfect spell that gets rid of knots entirely."

"We have all the time in the world now. I trust you'll be able to find it." Yin Hanjiang's hands never once stopped, making sure everything was properly combed through. "Ah-Wu, can I braid your hair?" The question shot out of his mouth before he could properly process it. Before, he never would've been able to say such a sentence, even under the worst torture. Now however, it was different, and the man couldn't help but smile. He was happy.

"Mmh, sure. Make it pretty." Wenren È turned back slightly to catch a glance at his beloved, quickly hoisting his body up to steal a cheeky kiss before turning his back at him again, readying himself for more torture on his abused scalp.

"Heh. Thank you." The smile grew bigger as the man in red slowly parted his lover's hair in multiple sections, making sure to let the braid somewhat loose. If Yin Hanjiang could handle a tight ponytail, Wenren È's head was surprisingly sensitive, and his lover wanted to ensure he wouldn't feel even slightly uncomfortable. With expert hands, the braid was completed.

"There." Yin Hanjiang finally put away the comb, making sure to store it inside his sleeves. If he left it anywhere else, Wenren È would steal it away and pretend he didn't see it the next day. It happened enough that he'd learned his lesson. "Now you're all good." His arms wrapped around his Venerable's body, pulling him into a tight hug.

"Thank you Hanjiang." Wenren È smiled, turning just enough so their lips could meet in a kiss that conveyed all of his emotions, filling Yin Hanjiang's heart with such warmth he never once thought he'd be able to feel.

"You're even prettier now. You're always handsome, but braids suit you well." The man in red said once the kiss ended, peppering a handful of them on his beloved's face.

"All thanks to you, love."

Even now, Wenren È's hair is in a braid as he lays next to Yin Hanjiang, matching his own. With time, the Lord of Demons learned to use his hands to mimic the gestures, now able to form a braid for his beloved. It was still clumsy, and already falling apart, but the man didn't care. Everything his Ah-Wu gave him was a treasure, no matter if it was a kiss, a neat looking stone or small affections like matching their hairstyles. With time, surely, Wenren È would learn to make a perfect one, and so Yin Hanjiang enjoyed the moments he could still look at the imperfections that came with learning a new skill. Those hands that once knew nothing else but the battlefield were capable of holding his face like it was the most precious of treasures, and for that, Yin Hanjiang will always be grateful.

Wenren È stirs next to him, his voice still seeming asleep as he talks. "Hanjiang…?"

"Mmh?" Yin Hanjiang hums, depositing a soft kiss on his cheek.

The answer doesn't come in the form of words. Instead, his Venerable takes him into his arms, bringing them closer together and entangling their legs. "You're not asleep?" He asks, letting his lover settle against his chest.

"I was busy looking at you." The smaller man answers honestly, his arms barely able to circle his Ah-Wu completely.

"If you don't sleep, I won't either. Do you want help to be able to?" Wenren È offers, and although his voice stays neutral, his lover picks up easily on his intentions, his face reddening.

"No, I think I'm fine. I'm comfy here. It'd be a waste to sleep." He mutters, burying his face in his Venerable's neck.

"Mmh, alright. We could go for a walk. Watch the moon. Would you like that?" A hand starts petting Yin Hanjiang's head, melting away his worries.

"Maybe… But I'm comfy right now. Maybe in a bit." The man in red wished for nothing more than for the moment to stretch to infinity. Just him, his Venerable and a shared moment of tenderness, better than any he could remember. Inside of him was a bright sun whose name is Wenren È, illuminating every instant of his life.

"Alright. I love you." Kisses soon joined the caresses, almost making Yin Hanjiang cry of sheer happiness.

"I love you too Ah-Wu."

Neither of them got much sleep that night, not that they needed it, choosing instead to spend it in endless little affections given to each other.