Work Text:
Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzz–
Waking up from the alarm, Jiang Tian blearily turned it off and laid on his side, muddledly staring at the phone in his hand.
5:15 P.M., Friday, 26 January
An empty silence rang throughout the bedroom the moment the alarm was turned off, a huge contrast to the incessant crying cicadas he was used to when growing up in Jiangsu.
Groping the sheets beside him that held no warmth, Jiang Tian remembered that Sheng Wang was currently at work. He, having the week off after a huge project, had decided to take a nap in the warm afternoon. It was only supposed to be a short nap, but the summer heat had been so stifling that he ended up waking up with barely enough time left on the clock to pick up his boyfriend of 5 years from work.
Sheng Wang had made a reservation for dinner tonight at a fancy western restaurant. For the past 4 years, every January 27th would be spent at home, lazing around in each other’s embrace the entire day, filling the space they called their home with whispers and laughter about nothing in particular. Watching movies, playing with their cat Wangzai, getting entangled in the sheets… it was enough for them as long as they had each other close.
Jiang Tian referred to this as the first law of thermodynamics, but Sheng Wang just called it Jiang Tian being clingy.
And it was this brand of clinginess that Jiang Tian was only willing to show when he was sick or drunk, the same clinginess that Jiang Tian exhibited when craving for someone to stay by his side, when the lonely him silently begged someone to stay—his throat clogged with all the things he was unable to say.
As they always spent the entire day indoors, Sheng Wang preferred to go out for a celebratory dinner with just the two of them the night before. It was an unspoken, unanimous decision they had made the year after they got back together that eventually turned into a tradition. What the meal consisted of didn’t matter, as long as it was a meal they could enjoy together. And even after moving to Australia because of Jiang Tian’s job, this tradition remained the same.
Jiang Tian had already gone grocery shopping this morning for ingredients; of course, the most important ingredient on the list was pasta. Truth be told, he did learn to make more meals with Sheng Wang throughout the years they were together, yet nothing could compare to the solace pasta provided, which was why he decided to cook it tomorrow. This particular sense of comfort was not unlike what they felt after their reunion 5 years ago, after they finally connected in heart, body, and soul for the first time.
Returning his mind to the present, Jiang Tian decided to get ready and take a bath. Removing his clothes and stepping into the shower, Jiang Tian turned the knob of the shower handle to the highest heat possible. And as hot water cascaded down upon his shoulders, his mind began drifting elsewhere once more.
Jiang Tian’s current thoughts were similar to the temperature of the water he was drowning himself in—scalding hot, like a torrential storm brewing in his mind, threatening to consume him whole. Every droplet that rolled off his skin, every thought that threaded through his mind, burnt him like a knife piercing through his skin, forcing him to recall the pain of the past, reopening scars that refused to heal, echoing pain that refused to fade. The steam rose, closing in on him as he desperately sucked in a breath.
All of it stemmed from one fact—Jiang Tian never liked his birthday.
The mere knowledge that his birthday was nearing was enough to remind Jiang Tian of his childhood years, when he spent nearly all of his birthdays alone due to his parents never being home. Because it was never of a significance to whom society deemed the two most important figures in a child’s life, he too did not think much of this day.
Or at least he thought he didn’t.
But these scars cut deep and permanent; unable to heal, unable to be forgotten. They would always linger at the back of his mind, rearing their heads at the faintest trace of weakness.
However, a single Sheng Wang was enough to chase away the darkness in his heart. To have someone that would go out of his way to celebrate the day with him, to make sure Jiang Tian understood that his very existence was of utmost importance to someone else—after spending 5 birthdays filled with sweetness and comfort with his lover, it became slightly more bearable.
Having Sheng Wang by his side lessened the anxiety Jiang Tian would face before and during the day itself, but it did not fully erase it, as even having Sheng Wang within his grasp did not prevent fate from taunting him.
He would never forget the first birthday he had spent with Sheng Wang, the beginning of his most desolate days. The unforeseen storm that took form that very day in the hospital, and dispersed at the exact same place. The unexpected storm that took away the only thing he couldn’t bear to let go.
The fear of losing control over something he held dear took root in his heart from that day forth, the fear that he couldn’t outrun the chaos that ate at his heels no matter how far or fast he ran; he never wanted to feel that sense of hopelessness and helplessness ever again.
Because no matter how many years passed, no matter how many more happy moments there were than sad ones, this fear had his heart in its claws.
He wondered if anything unlucky would happen tomorrow. He couldn’t help it, because after all, the possibility that misfortune could crash down on his shoulders once again was always there.
And he wondered if that was the price to pay for someone to acknowledge his existence.
His alarm rang again, snapping him out of his trance, a reminder that he’d been drowning in his thoughts for too long. He quickly turned off the shower and grabbed his towel, hurrying to change into a smart casual outfit for his dinner date. Sheng Wang ended work soon, so he quickly grabbed his keys and ran out of the apartment they shared.
.
.
On a certain day, a certain someone rushes towards his lover in the summer heat.
*★,°*:.☆*.°★*
Dinner was long, loaded with gossip about the friends back at their home country; Song Sirui was apparently starting a relationship with someone, while Gao Tianyang and Chilli were preparing for their marriage. In between exclaims of “There’s no way Song Sirui can get a girlfriend!” and “Sometimes, I still wonder how Chilli can put up with Lao-Gao…”, a whole pile of unwanted food was somehow stuffed into Jiang Tian’s stomach as well.
Honestly, having been Sheng Wang’s personal dumpster for the past few years, Jiang Tian thought that this young master had become much pickier than what he originally thought was possible.
In some ways, this can be considered an evolution, he thought to himself as they headed towards their car.
It was getting late as they had spent a lot of time in the restaurant. Normally, they’d drive back home and begin their day together. However this time, for some reason, Sheng Wang kept insisting that he wanted to visit a lookout point nearby that his colleague introduced him to before.
Accommodating to Sheng Wang’s whims, Jiang Tian told him to input the destination into the GPS in his phone. There were a few wrong turns as a result of Sheng Wang’s poor navigation skills, but they eventually arrived at their destination after half an hour of circling about.
“Um, so that took a little longer than expected…” Sheng Wang sheepishly grinned, scratching his head. He turned his doe eyes towards Jiang Tian who was in the driver’s seat, blinking innocently.
Jiang Tian let out a soft chuckle. “It’s alright. I’m used to it already.” And he really was. Sheng Wang often instructed him to take wrong turns. But it’s alright, because I get to be with him a little longer, Jiang Tian thought tenderly.
With his lips pursed and arms crossed, Sheng Wang exclaimed, “Hey! My navigation skills are not that bad.”
Jiang Tian raised an eyebrow, bending over to remove his seatbelt for him.
“I said not that bad. I didn’t say they were not bad,” Sheng Wang laughed while poking his lover’s forehead. “C’mon Ge, let’s take a look!”
The lookout point that Sheng Wang brought them to had no specific name. It was just a random place his colleague had found whilst cruising with his girlfriend. He shared it with Sheng Wang, knowing that the latter had recently developed an interest in astrology as he would see him reading about stars during breaks. The city’s skylights blinked at them, the night sky above them blanketed with flecks of white.
It had been a while since the last time Jiang Tian saw the stars.
Back in his hometown, the view of the stars was always cloudy and difficult to spot. But here, the entire sky was ablaze with diamonds. Even in the city, they still shone relentlessly.
The last time he had seen such bright stars was when he was still living in America, in the period he spent apart from Sheng Wang. At that time, whenever he missed Sheng Wang, he’d just look up at the stars, their sparkle reminding him of the bright gleam in Sheng Wang’s eyes.
“Ugh, I’m so full! Look, my stomach is so round.”
Jiang Tian turned to see Sheng Wang sprawled against the hood of their car. He was busy patting his food-filled stomach like a drum, his mouth open in a loud yawn.
Jiang Tian walked over and sat beside him, raising an arm to place his palm on Sheng Wang’s little belly. With a straight face, he said, “Wang-zai, I think I can feel something kicking.”
“...The only thing you’ll feel is my kick,” Sheng Wang grumbled, pushing Jiang Tian’s hand off.
They both lay on the hood of their car together, talking aimlessly while staring up at the sky above them.
Summer nights were always cool, yet somehow enveloped people in a blanket of warmth, spreading comfort to everyone enjoying the breeze.
Sheng Wang pulled out and showed Jiang Tian a pair of binoculars he had brought along. Jiang Tian, confused, asked him where he even got it from but all Sheng Wang said was magic.
Jiang Tian hummed. “Are you keeping it here too?” he asked, lightly patting Sheng Wang’s belly. “I’m sure Wangzai wouldn’t mind having another sibling.”
Grumbling, Sheng Wang cut him off from his teasing after seeing a flash of light from the corner of his eye.
“Ge, it’s a shooting star! Hurry, take a look and make a wish.”
Sheng Wang quickly passed the pair of from-God-knows-where binoculars at him, and urged him to look for the shooting star.
Jiang Tian knew that it was too late and that the tail of the star was probably gone by now, but he still softly smiled as he put up with his lover's fussing. He looked through the binoculars, searching for the missing shooting star.
He knew that shooting stars were fleeting, and he also knew they were essentially just a piece of rock, yet he somehow couldn’t help but hope to find it. Even if it wasn’t scientific, Jiang Tian really wanted to make a wish upon that shooting star, so he could wish for tomorrow to not bring any misfortune. For there to never be a birthday like his seventeenth. For a happy future with Sheng Wang, always and forever.
But, of course, nothing appeared.
.
.
.
.
.
Until he saw something obstructing his view.
Letting out a chuckle, Jiang Tian raised an eyebrow, “Why are you suddenly blocking the view?” He began placing the binoculars away so he could turn to face his lover. “I thought you wanted me to look for the—”
Standing in front of him, he saw Sheng Wang’s lips curved up cheekily, two canines peeking out, much like the triumphant grins he used to give whenever he got away with anything back when they were seventeen. Like the smile he wore seeing Jiang Tian in that ugly class A sports tee, like the smile he gave every time he flirted with Jiang Tian before getting flustered right after, and like the smile reflected in his eyes right now.
How bright…
Wearing that same smile, the Sheng Wang before him held a tiny, silver ring.
Maybe it was just his imagination, but Jiang Tian swore he saw a shooting star pass just then. But it didn’t matter, shooting star or not, the person standing in front of him with a ring in hand always shone the brightest—especially when he smiled.
“Jiang Tian.”
The man named Jiang Tian was stunned into silence. His heart was racing, his breathing faint. He could feel his blood rushing from his head all the way to the tips of his toes—all he could do was stare back. Fortunately, he was still seated on the car’s hood because his legs would have given in.
“I told you before, I can’t promise you anything about other people. The only thing I can promise you… is me.” He saw Sheng Wang taking a big breath as though mentally preparing himself for his next few lines. He was rubbing his fingers together, a tell-tale sign that he was extremely nervous.
Sheng Wang turned his gaze directly towards Jiang Tian. “Ge, shooting stars are only temporary, they’re not important. You don’t have to waste your wishes on them. All you need is to depend on me, I will forever be by your side.”
Sheng Wang continued, “The other day I read about how the Polaris star stands motionlessly in the sky. Therefore, it makes an excellent fixed point for navigation.”
“I know I’ve always been bad when it comes to navigating but this time it’s different. You’ve always been the one finding me, but this time I’ll be standing still, a fixed point in your life, a constant by your side.” He walked towards Jiang Tian, grabbing his hand. Sheng Wang lifted that hand to his lips, directly at the mole on Jiang Tian’s wrist before placing it on his chest. “I will forever be guiding you to me, forever lighting your path. Just like you do for me.”
“Let’s be each other’s Polaris, okay?”
From when Sheng Wang called his name until now, Jiang Tian had felt like he was in a daze. He knew he had to give Sheng Wang a response but he could barely feel his limbs. Eventually, he felt himself slowly nodding his head, before continuing the movement repeatedly—a hoarse ‘okay’ finally escaped his lips, after nodding for a long time.
Jiang Tian didn’t even realise that there were tears falling from the corners of his eyes.
Sheng Wang placed their foreheads together, tears also spilling from his own eyes, “Ge, you agreed. So if you lose me, you’ll have to claim me, alright?”
“Don’t let me stay lost.”
Sheng Wang felt Jiang Tian nod again, against his own forehead, and couldn’t stop himself from letting out a belt of laughter. He took Jiang Tian’s hand again, to slide the ring onto his finger.
Looking closely, Jiang Tian realised that Sheng Wang had already sneakingly worn the ring himself.
“Hey! It’s waterproof, you can’t ever take it out, okay? So feel free to cry all over it.” Sheng Wang laughed, their foreheads bumping against one another.
“I know. I won’t take it off.” Jiang Tian seriously said. He looked back down at the ring on his finger. A sterling silver ring with a simple design of a star sitting in the centre. “It’s very pretty. Very fitting for your scheme,” he smiled.
That comment allowed for young master Sheng Wang to show off his feathers. “Smart, right?” With his chest puffed out and tail raised high, Sheng Wang rubbed his nose. “Hehe, I know. I felt pretty smart coming up with this idea actually—”
Jiang Tian suddenly burst into laughter seeing his lover use his words as a chance to praise himself. For someone usually quiet to burst out laughing out of the blue, it was as though he had been holding back so much laughter that he couldn’t stop himself any longer. The dam had been broken.
“Oi, are you listening? Stop laughing, this is when you’re supposed to be praising me.” Sheng Wang whined, but he couldn’t hold back his own laughter too.
There was nothing funny in particular. The two were just laughing out of joy, relief and liberation.
Once they both quieted down, they lay back on the hood of their car again. But this time, instead of being entranced with the stars, their gazes only held each other. Jiang Tian wrapped an arm around Sheng Wang’s waist, letting the other lay on him as they embraced one another. He used his other hand to caress Sheng Wang’s hair as though he were a big cat. The comfortable silence was broken by Jiang Tian, who pulled Sheng Wang close until their noses were touching.
Sheng Wang could feel Jiang Tian’s hot breath against his lips, whispering the words, “Wangzai, I love you.”
Their lips finally met. They shared a kiss that was messy; tears mixing with the saliva exchanged. It might have been a kiss full of tears but it was also full of love. Jiang Tian gripped the back of his head, gentle yet forceful, pulling Sheng Wang close as though he hoped for their bodies to merge into one.
As they kissed, hands roaming, things began to slowly heat up. Dissatisfied with how far Sheng Wang still seemed to be from him, Jiang Tian couldn’t help but pull him even closer, until Sheng Wang was trapped underneath his body, only able to respond to his passionate kisses by surrendering himself to Jiang Tian.
Panting heavily, they tore themselves from each other before they could actually start something they couldn’t stop.
Sheng Wang couldn’t help but steal another kiss from Jiang Tian, still longing to be close.
Hoarsely, but with all the love he could offer, he said, “Jiang Tian, I love you too.”
But just as their noses touched each other, an alarm suddenly rang from Sheng Wang’s pocket.
“...”
“Oops! Hehe, I forgot I set an alarm for 12am,” Sheng Wang gave an innocent smile, his swollen lips adding an indecent touch to his expression. “But what perfect timing!”
Sheng Wang got off from Jiang Tian and pulled him away from the car and onto his feet. He tugged on Jiang Tian’s arm as he spun both of them around in the breeze. Coming to a stop, he stood with Jiang Tian for a moment, gazing into each other’s eyes. Then, he began giving Jiang Tian successive kisses from his forehead, cheeks, nose and lips, all the way to his collarbone.
“Ge, you’re 29 now, I have continued to accompany you on your birthday throughout the years, and I will always continue to do so. I love you.”
Finally, he gave a kiss where Jiang Tian’s heart lay. “Happy birthday, Jiang Tian.”
May you always be happy, not only on this day, but every single day that we’ll spend together in the future.
Maybe there was no need to feel afraid. Jiang Tian had forgotten that youth might come with impulsiveness that was looked down upon by society, but with youth also came courage, and this courage had been left behind by him after the age of seventeen. Even though he was nearing thirty, he still held the world in his palms. There was no need to hesitate, no need to consider.
With Sheng Wang by his side, the sky was his limit, setting him free to run amongst the stars.
He was unstoppable. He was invincible .
*★,°*:.☆*.°★*
“Ge, wanna just get married today?”
“...”
“Maybe then you’ll start thinking of January 27th as a special day too.”
“Mn. Let's get married then.”
“Huh? Wait, what? Are you serious? It was just a passing thought! We haven’t even prepared anything. What about our parents?! What about—”
Hands intertwined, they held onto each other, promising to never let go. Two rings tapped lightly against each other, reminding them that they’d be each other’s Polaris, their guiding light in the sky. A fixed point that would lead the person they love out of the darkness and coldness of life, moving towards warmth and happiness instead.
The car windows were completely rolled down as they drove past streets that were still lively in spite of time, the small space unable to contain Sheng Wang’s ramblings and Jiang Tian’s chuckling. Their hope and love for their future together spilled out from the open windows, carried away by the wind to wherever the wind went.
.
.
On the 27th of January, two certain someones rush through the summer heat, hand in hand.