Chapter Text
It was a fine morning in Liyue. The sun shone gently, as if to plant the sweetest kiss on all the citizens of the harbour while they prepared to face the day. A slight breeze gave the air a refreshing quality, as the rustling leaves provided soothing background noise to anyone who cared to listen.
Hu Tao sat on the windowsill while she paged through her client’s files, occasionally taking the time to write a note or take a sip of her tea. She hummed to herself as she worked, the melodies of Yunjin’s latest opera still fresh in her mind. A satisfied smile graced her lips as she finished sorting her paperwork. She set it off to the side and took the opportunity to glance out the window. Outside was Liyue Harbour in all its glory; golden-leaved trees, bustling streets, and an orange-haired young man who seemed to be rapidly approaching the parlour doors.
A grin crept its way up her face, and she rushed towards the front door, pausing only when she had its handle in her grasp. She stuck her ear to the wall, listening close for the sound of his approaching footsteps. As he drew nearer, her wicked grin grew wider and wider. Just as he reached the entrance, Hu Tao struck like a cat lying in wait, and flung the door open before he had the chance to open it himself.
The results were everything she could have hoped for and more. Childe realised seconds too late the fate that had befallen him, and he was left grasping at air as he lunged forward. Unprepared to meet the smooth tiled flooring, his foot slipped and he was sent careening downward. He let out a small oof , the fall having knocked the wind out of him despite his best efforts to catch himself. As Hu Tao cackled triumphantly, Childe lay defeated, though he donned a slight smile.
“Morning, Director Hu,” he called from the floor. “Sorry to drop in unannounced.” The slightest bit of his pride was restored by the ensuing giggles from above.
“Heya~” Hu Tao responded, offering her hand to him. He happily took her offer, getting back onto his feet. She continued, saying, “You’re looking for Mister Zhongli, yes?”
“Sure am,” he confirmed.
“Ai-yai-yai… Today’s not your lucky day, then.” She put her hands on her hips and made a tutting sound as she shook her head. “It’s his day off. No clue what he’s doing.” At this, Childe gave a light chuckle and nonchalantly waved his hand, much to Hu Tao’s confusion.
“Well, if that’s the case, I’m certain I’ll know where to find him. Thanks for the intel, Director. Here, take this for the trouble.” Before she could object, Childe had handed her a rather elaborate-looking fountain pen, with a custom plum blossom design engraved at the top. She inspected it thoroughly, then looked up at him with an eyebrow raised.
“It’s a fountain pen from Fontaine,” he explained. “I’ve heard that they’re really nice to write with. Zhongli mentioned you’d been having troubles with your own pen recently, so I figured I’d grab one for you. Hopefully it’s to your liking.” As Hu Tao listened to this, her dubious expression transformed into a wide and goofy grin. She bounced on her toes a little, in an attempt to contain her excitement.
“Yoh, you shouldn’t have, it’s really no big deal. Buuut… As a reward for this generosity, I’ll give you a 50% discount on your coffin, no strings attached! How’s that sound?”
“Gosh, you really don’t have to, but I’ll be sure to keep it in mind.” Childe opened the doors, giving Hu Tao a wave. “Anyways, I’ll stop taking up your time. Catch ya later!”
“Seeya,” was all she had to say before he left.
~
It was a fine morning in Liyue harbour, and Zhongli wanted to make the most of it. He had taken his usual spot at one of the tables of Third-Round Knockout, and he was half-listening to what the storyteller was saying. If he recalled correctly, it was something about some Favonian maid-knight, and while he found the premise interesting enough, the embellishments were a little much for even him to handle. He was satisfied with this arrangement regardless, to the point where he found himself zoning out a little. The warm sun on his face was refreshing, especially as a means to recover his stamina after last night's lecture at the parlour. Though he enjoyed educating others, he also found it to be somewhat of a taxing task at times.
Zhongli soon found himself lost in this trance, to such an extent that he failed to notice the familiar footsteps of his dear friend, the 11th of the Fatui Harbingers. It was only after he heard the sound of a chair being drawn out that he snapped back to reality, as he curiously turned to face his new tablemate. His expression softened as he realised who it was, and he reached out to cup his tea with his hands.
“Good morning, Childe.”
“Morning, Zhongli-xiansheng. You got a moment?”
“I have plenty. Say what you must.”
Childe gave a grin as he let out a sigh. He ruffled his hair and looked down, raising his eyes to look at Zhongli after a moment.
“So… I’ve kinda got a situation, and I don't know what to do about it,” he started, cheeks flushed. “It’s… ah… to do with my family? And the fact that I’ll be seeing them soon? Ah- I told you I was going back to Snezhnaya for a while, yeah?”
Zhongli nodded and took a sip of his tea. Childe took this as a chance to gather his thoughts.
“Yeah, yeah. Super excited to see them and all that. Slight problem.” He paused. Zhongli looked at him with concern in his eyes.
“Have you had some sort of disagreement with them lately?” he inquired. Childe raised his hands and shook his head.
“Nono, nothing like that,” he stuttered. Childe took a few deep breaths before continuing, “It’s… We’re getting on great. But, uh, part of that is because I lied about something. And I have been for a while? Bad choice on my part, I know, but I just wanted them off my back… Uh, but it’s escalated?”
Beads of sweat dripped down the back of Childe’s neck. Zhongli seemed to be staring him down with a mixture of curiosity, worry, and confusion; none of which was helping his nerves any.
“I’ll… cut to the chase. I lied about having a partner. Romantically.”
He could practically feel the judgement coming off of Zhongli as the man tipped his head.
“Why would you…" Zhongli started, then paused to assess the situation. "Were they bothering you about your relationship status?"
"...Yeah. I just… wanted them to lay off a little. But then it escalated, and now everyone back home thinks I have a partner. I was able to brush it off the last time I visited, but I promised to get my nonexistent partner to come with me this time, and well… surely you see the problem in that."
A moment passed as Zhongli considered what he had just been told. As he thought about the matter, he idly tapped the middle knuckle of his index finger on his lip. Childe found himself absently watching this. He quietly drummed his own fingers on the table to the rhythm of the tapping. Eventually, Zhongli reached a conclusion, and he relayed it to Childe after he took another sip of tea.
"So, before I say anything, there is absolutely no possibility you could take it back at this point."
"Not a chance," Childe sighed. "It's spread too much."
"Well, I suppose legitimately acquiring a significant other on such short notice is out of the question, as well. Furthermore, to say your relationship fell out so conveniently close to when you were supposed to have them meet your family… It would be rather suspicious, wouldn't it?"
Childe sank into his chair while groaning. "If it's hopeless, just say that already." Zhongli ignored this interjection.
"The way I see it, your only option would be to have someone act as your partner, go with you to visit your family, and then pretend to break up with you during or after the trip. That way, it may seem more like unfortunate timing, rather than an outright lie."
The harbinger sat there wordlessly for a couple minutes as his brain worked to process what had just been said to him. His face lit up as the realisation hit him, and he made Zhongli flinch as he sprang up to sit properly in his seat. Without thinking, he reached forward and took Zhonglis hands into his own, squeezing them tightly. In fact, Childe was so caught up in his excitement that he failed to notice the pink tint that was slowly overtaking his friend’s face.
“That’s it!” he loudly whispered, so as to not startle the other patrons, “Zhongli-xiangsheng, you’re a genius. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Oh, it’s… It’s nothing, really. Just… glad I could help.” Zhongli coughed awkwardly. It was only then that Childe realised just how close he’d gotten to the consultant. He uttered an apology and backed off, sitting up straight in his seat once more. After reassuring him that it was alright, Zhongli took a long sip of his tea to steady himself once more. A comfortable silence fell between the pair, the two of them zoning back into Iron Tongue Tian’s newest story.
~
In our last tale, we left off at quite the crossroads. The young damsel and her companion had quite the conundrum before them. Her list of suitors had suddenly grown to be long and unwieldy, and though she was flattered, it was simply too much for her to bear.
It was at one such moment that her companion swooped in and saved her from the pits of despair. On one unfortunate morning she had been running errands in town, when she was suddenly overtaken by a crowd of her ever-loving admirers. “Lady Knight!” cried they, “Please, let’s go out to dinner!” As their voices grew louder, so too did the maid-knights face grow redder. She was about to turn tail and flee, when all of a sudden…
“Leave her be,' called her companion, as they rushed to her aid. They placed their hand on her waist as they drew their sword, pointing it towards the offending crowd. “My beloved has not the time for your antics! Begone, the lot of you!”
The crowd dispersed instantly, leaving the pair to gather their thoughts on the situation. They soon realised the mess they found themselves in, as her companion’s words carried more weight than intended. However, their hasty shout proved effective in driving the crowds away, and thus the two decided to keep up the act. For two weeks, things went off without a hitch. Yet, as time grew on, the young lady felt her emotions shift.
Will they remain friends, or will her feelings blossom into something more? All shall be revealed in the next chapter…
~
After the storyteller finished, the pair decided to take a walk through the city’s busy streets. The density of the crowd forced them to stick close together, and it was definitely much closer than Zhongli was comfortable with. Despite that, they had a pleasant time together. By the time they reached the city outskirts, both of them had quite the collection of miscellaneous trinkets and toys gathered in their pockets. Childe was fidgeting with the hands on a small clock ornament when Zhongli finally spoke.
“So… Do you have any ideas, in terms of who shall play the role of your partner?”
Childe turned to Zhongli with a confused look on his face.
“I thought you were going to? Sorry, my bad. I should have asked properly- Hey, are you feeling alright?”
The question was prompted by the stunning shade of red that Zhongli’s face had turned at the suggestion. Though his expression largely remained neutral, his shoulders had tensed up, and he seemed to have frozen in place. Childe gave him a moment to formulate his response.
“Well.. I..” He started, though no words were coming to him. “I’m… fine.” At this, Childe felt a slight pang of guilt.
“I… Look, I get it if you don’t want to… you know, with… how you feel about me and all that. It’s just… Like, I trust you, you know? My bad though, I should have thought this through before-”
“It’s alright,” interrupted Zhongli, who had managed to compose himself while Childe was talking. “I’d be more than happy to help. The request was just… very sudden, I suppose. Honestly, I’m somewhat surprised you feel comfortable asking me, all things considered.”
“Oh,” was Childe’s eloquent response.
The silence resumed between them, albeit more awkward this time, until it was broken by Zhongli yet again a few moments later.
“...Should I take a female form during the trip?”
“If you want. Doesn’t really matter to me.” Childe gave a light shrug. “I doubt my family will care, either. At this point, they’re more concerned with me ‘getting back on track to a normal life’ than who I’m actually with.”
Zhongli stifled a small laugh. “As if you’d be satisfied with a normal partner.”
“I know, right?” said Childe as he shook his head. “It is what it is. I can let them pretend for a little while, if it's what it takes for them to get off my case. Surely, you understand?” Relief washed over Childe as Zhongli gave an affirming nod. No further words needed to be spoken between them, and together they watched the sun set over the harbour.
As they headed back to town, Zhongli had but one worry on his mind. It wasn’t about how they were going to pull this off, or how Childe’s family would react, or even about the possible consequences it could have on their friendship.
He had no clue how he’d convince the director to give him so much time off.