Archive of Our Own ^beta

Will felt his jaw hit the floor when he walked into Hannibal’s office. 

In a better mind he would’ve slapped himself for being so rude. But how could he resist when Hannibal was standing there looking like a god traipsing the Earth in quiet amusement?

Hannibal wore a muted brown plaid skirt, tailored to his form. It was wool, and flowed like thick honey when Hannibal turned. It dropped down to Hannibal’s ankles, but Will could see the beginning of black pantyhose, and in place of Hannibal’s usual well cared for oxfords, was pitch black pumps. It gave him an extra inch of height, but to Will in the moment it may well have been another foot. 

“Ah, Will, it’s good to see you,” Hannibal smiled, and if he noticed Will’s agape face, which he had to, even from across the room still half scanning the shelves for some book, he didn’t show it. “Apologies for not coming to greet you at the door, I was quite distracted with looking for a book. No matter how well I organize them, I can never find the book I’m looking for in the moment.” 

He damn near glided to Will, and leaned down to give a small appreciative peck to Will’s cheek, incidentally setting Will’s face alight in bright red blush. Right from his ears down to his chest. 

“A-ah, it’s fine,” Will ducked his head down to try and gain some composure. 

Hannibal was ethereal, flowing like water, perfectly poised on the edge of masculine and feminine. That damnable skirt, the way it cut in and made Hannibal look slim and knife-sharp, the way he could only imagine how Hannibal’s legs looked under that skirt, how his shirt and waistcoat still gave him that hard masculine definition. Will didn’t know if he wanted to push Hannibal against the nearest flat surface, have Hannibal push him, or cry because he couldn’t imagine looking like Hannibal did, or looking half as good in it. 

“Will?” Hannibal’s voice brought him back. “Are you alright?” 

Will cleared his throat. It was fine, Hannibal was beautiful, in a way Will couldn’t imagine himself to be. That was fine. Hannibal liked him and his Roman boy-god curls, his bearded face, his masculinity. Hannibal liked it, and Will had never disliked it, so there was no reason to be getting as close to tears as he was now. 

“Yeah, just…lost in thought,” Will said. 

Hannibal had the faintest hint of a smirk in that soft smile, but worry still tinged his eyes. “Work?”

“Uh, yeah, just the usual,” Will sighed. He hoped Hannibal would bring it up, ask Will, however uncomfortable, what he thought. Did he like it? Did he feel uncomfortable in Hannibal’s presence while dressed like this? Did he want to replicate it? Any of those damnable, digging questions, just something to invite him to feel that ache in the bottom of his chest. 

But Hannibal didn’t. 

“Why don’t you talk to me about the latest case Will?” 

“Yeah, sure, sounds fine,”  It didn't, but how was he supposed to bring it up? It was easier not to, maybe if he ignored the feeling it would go away.

Hopefully.

-

It took three weeks of Hannibal wearing skirts in their appointments, and Will staring yearnfully at Hannibal and God, even Alana now, for Beverly to notice. It was only a matter of time, after all, Beverly was quite perceptive to Will. 

Beverly approached Will after one of his lectures, leaning against the door so Will had to go through her if he wanted to run away from the situation. 

“Beverly, what brings you here?” Will asked, already suspicious of the situation. 

“What?” Beverly shrugged. “Got a hot date? No time to say hi to your friend?” 

“Hi Beverly,” Will said sarcastically, drawing a laugh from Beverly. “I actually have another lecture in an hour, and you are encouraged to stop asking about my dating life,” 

Beverly laughed again. “Please, we already all know that suave, handsome, smart Dr. Lecter has your heart,” She pretended to swoon, holding a hand over her heart. “Lucky boy, getting him before any of us could even try. Wonder if he tastes as good as he cooks, you’d know though, lucky thing,”

Will groaned and hid his hands in his face, if it weren’t for the spike of embarrassment in his chest, his heart would pang with the reminder of the doctor and his looks. “Mercy, Bev, mercy, I beg it of you,”

Beverly laughed deeply. “Fine fine, wasn’t here to tease you over Hannibal anyway. Could’ve done it in front of everyone and gotten twice the fun out of the teasing,” 

Will groaned at the thought of further teasing, in front of Hannibal himself, and worse, Jack. “What did you come here for then?” 

“To talk,” 

“You have been talking,” 

Beverly sighed. “I want to talk about why you’ve been staring at Hannibal, and Alana, with that wistful, needing gaze. You’ve got Hannibal, and you said you were back on friendly terms with Alana. What has been up with you?” She stepped a little closer to Will, not so much that he’d be able to walk right out without talking to her more though. 

Will looked like a deer in the headlights for a moment, then quickly looked down, concealing any further emotion. “There’s nothing to talk about Bev, I’ve got a lecture in forty-five minutes and I-’ 

“Don’t bullshit me, Graham,” Beverly said sternly. “There is something to talk about, and if you really just don’t want to talk about it with me, fine, then tell me to fuck off, but I know something is up Will, and I’d rather you talk about it with somebody than not at all,”

Will closed his eyes for a moment, Beverly’s worry rang true. She didn’t want to know just so she could tease him about it or gossip to Price and Z, she cared. Will wanted to put up more resistance, but how could he? He’d asked for this, begged, to be dug at and not let go when he squirmed. He wanted to be allowed, forced to feel what he felt. 

Tears rolled down his face. 

“I have been a man for thiry-nine years Beverly, I have never doubted it, I’ve never wanted anything different than what was prescribed. Even when I kissed the boy next door and then the girl at school the next day, I was always a man, with everything that came with it. I-I don’t know anymore Beverly, I don’t know.”

Will slid down to his knees behind the podium, hiding his teary face in his hands.

“Christ-” Beverly rushed to his side, wrapping an arm around him loosely, allowing him space to push her off. “Will, I-breathe buddy, it’s a gender crisis, not the end of the world,” 

Will felt a spike of shame, he was overreacting, of course. It wasn’t the end of the world. It just felt like it. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Beverly added, seemingly reading Will’s thoughts. “But really, it’s okay. What inspired the sudden revelation?” 

Will took a wheezing breath and leaned into Beverly. “I-I went to a therapy appointment with Hannibal, and-and he was wearing a skirt. God Beverly, he looked like perfect amalgamation of Aphrodite and Apollo. I wanted to cry, I wanted, I want to look like he does,” A fresh sob tore through Will. “I don’t know if I can,” 

“Course you could Will,” Beverly petted his hair. “I mean, you could cut off and steal his face, get heels, and wear his clothes and learn to speak with an accent, and then you look exactly like him,” 

Will was shocked out of his weeping, and laughed, wet and half out of it, but he laughed, calming down a little. 

“Seriously though, you can, you should, if you want,” 

Will laughed dryly. “I wouldn’t know where to begin,” 

“I could help,” Beverly offered. “If you wanted, I could help you figure it out,” 

Will sighed. “That would be nice,” 

“Well, you’ll have to tell your sweetheart I’m kidnapping you after work tomorrow if you have anything planned,” Beverly smiled. “Oh, is there something else you’d like me to call you or…” 

“God,” Will rubbed the tears off his face with his sleeve. “I don’t know if I’m ready for something like that yet,”

“Fine by me,” Beverly shrugged. “Well, it seems you’ve got 15 minutes left till lecture Graham, as much fun as it’s been having this moment on the floor with you. You’re welcome to cry in the morgue later if you want, me, Price, and Z have done it before. I’ll even tell them to get if you need,” 

Will smiled, and stood with Beverly. “Thanks, but I think I’m done for the moment,”

“Offer still stands,” Beverly gave him a tight hug. “Have fun with your slideshow Prof,” 

“Get on, before my students see me like this,” Will playfully pushed her out the door. 

-

Just as promised, as soon as work ended, Beverly whisked Will away to her apartment, allowing only a pause so Will could give his boyfriend a parting kiss. 

“Would’ve taken you out somewhere, but I suspect you would like privacy,” Beverly said as she let Will into the apartment. 

“Thank you,” Will felt anxiety rise in his chest, but willed it to settle like a rowdy dog. Beverly was safe, she had his back. 

When Will stepped in, he did not find an empty room. Instead, Alana Bloom stood there, inspecting a potted plant that may well have been plastic. 

“Uh, what-Alana? You’re here?” Will backed up to the door a little, he had expected to be alone with Beverly. 

“Okay you’re gonna have to promise to not hate me on this one,” Beverly said. “Given the situation, I invited Alana to help guide your clothing decisions,” 

That anxiety came back, barking and loud. “How…how much did you tell her?” 

“I’m not a complete asshole Will,” Beverly sighed. “I told her nothing outside the fact that you wanted to look into alternative fashions, and you liked her style, and she doesn’t need to know anything more if you don’t want her too. But this isn’t a one person affair Will, a second opinion is needed,” 

“I can still leave if you want Will,” Alana said gently. “I have no plans to speak of this to anyone without your permission, and Beverly really did have the best of intentions asking me to come. I’d like to help you Will,” 

The anxiety barked, but Will snapped back at it. Alana was a friend, unexpected, but still a friend. And god, who was he to judge Beverly’s choice in inviting her, he didn’t have a clue what he was doing. He didn’t have to do away with her just because he was scared of not knowing who he was. 

“It’s…fine,” Will took a deep breath. “I’m just nervous,” 

Alana nodded knowingly. “Well, where should we start?”

“What do you want, Will?” Beverly asked. “That’s where we need to start,” 

Will laughed nervously. “Something small. Baby steps. I-uh, just don’t want to go too fast,” 

Beverly nodded. “Fine, we can do something similar to what you’ve seen that started this, or just as simple as shoes, it’s up to you Will,” 

“Similar would be nice,” 

“Well there’s a plan,” Beverly grinned. 

Beverly took Will’s hand, leading him to a bathroom and standing him in the entrance. She turned back to Alana. “What color do you think would suit him?” 

Alana thought for a moment. “Hm, something green, wouldn’t you think? Maybe blue. Nothing too complicated either, maybe a little pattern,” 

Beverly tapped her fingers for a minute, before lighting up in realization. “I think I may have just the thing,” She darted off, before returning with a pale blue skirt, and a pair of black mary-janes, with white wads Will assumed were white stockings shoved in.

“I got both of these things when I was in training, before I realized none of them fit me and just went in my nicest shirt and pants,” Beverly said and she placed the items in Will’s arms. “Try them on Will, they should fit you. We can do away with the shoes and stockings, but I think they complete the look,” 

Will nodded, took the clothing and closed the door, hearing muffled conversation as he sunk to the floor. That anxiety was back, what was he doing? Maybe he just found Hannibal and Alana pretty, which he did, maybe it was nothing more than that. What was he doing here? He should go, just say it was a mistake and that he figured out this wasn’t what he wanted- 

“Will? You okay buddy?” Beverly spoke through the door, and Will realized that he had been crying again. 

“I’m fine!” Will called, his voice watery. 

“You sure?” 

“Yes I’m fine,” Will stood up, and wiped the tears from his face. Pathetic, a grown ma- a grown something and here he was crying over a skirt. He pulled himself together and changed into the ensemble, not looking in the mirror at all. 

He took a deep breath, and stepped out to Beverly and Alana. 

“Christ on a cracker Will,” Beverly looked him up and down. “Who knew you had such nice legs?” 

Will blushed deeply, turning his face away.

“She’s right, Will,” Alana added. “You look very nice, it even fits you well,” She approached and skimmed her fingers over the waist seam on Will’s skirt. He shuddered, the light touch feeling like so much. “I’d personally tighten the waist, it hangs oddly at the moment, but you still look good Will,” 

“The bigger point here is Will,” Beverly started. “Do you like it?” 

Will thought for a moment, he turned a little, watching the fabric flow like water around his ankles, and nodded. Smiling. “I do,” 

Beverly grinned happily. “There we are then, you can keep them, I’ll never wear them anyway,” 

Alana pulled Will into a tight hug, looking up at him with happiness. “It’s so good to see you happy with yourself Will,” 

Will hugged her back. “Thank you, both of you,”

-

Will sat in his car, anxiety pawing at his chest. 

He wore the same blue skirt, lacy white stockings and mary-janes as he did at Beverly’s, but that fear was back. What if Hannibal didn’t like it? Or thought Will was mocking or just trying to seduce him? Not that he wouldn’t be happy if Hannibal threw him onto the desk but this wasn’t that, this was him. Whatever he was, it was a part of him. 

Will sighed and set his head against the steering wheel. Well, there was only one way to find out. 

-

“Hello, Hannibal,” Will greeted shyly, entering Hannibal’s office gingerly.  

Hannibal turned, holding a wine glass in each hand, and wearing his damnable skirt again. Will’s confidence was bolstered for a moment, he was getting back just as much as he was showing himself. 

Hannibal nearly dropped the wine glasses. 

“ Will ,” 

Will blushed but resisted the urge to turn away. “I saw you in your skirt that day, you looked so pretty and all the sudden I had all of these new feelings and-” 

Hannibal silenced his rambling with a firm kiss Will hadn’t expected. “You look beautiful Will, you always do but you look fantastic,” His voice was utterly reverent. 

“Nothing in comparison to you,” 

“No, no you are so much more,” Hannibal kissed him again. “I’m flattered to be the reason you encountered this side of yourself. Do you like yourself like this?” 

“It feels weird,” Will admitted. “But not bad, I like this,” 

“The most important thing is that you do,” Hannibal sighed. “Is there any change of terminology you’d like?” 

“No, not yet,” 

Hannibal nodded. “I understand, for many years I couldn't conceive of changing any terminology about myself. I had been so used to it, and so scared. I hardly care now, I like being called anything, but you may ask me to call you by any name, any word, and I’ll do it immediately,” He vowed. “I’ll always be here as your friend and lover, and support you best I can,” 

Will felt tears, happy tears, well in his eyes. “Thank you Hannibal,” 

“Of course,”