Archive of Our Own ^beta

It all happened one day when Peter woke up at The Avengers Tower.

It was a school day, Monday, the worst day of them all. For some reason he woke up before his alarm, he hates when that happens. He can never fall back asleep once he wakes up so he just lays there.

He pulls his sleeves down over his hands. They're too long. Peter's wearing one of Tony's hoodies, like always. This one is a dark red -- almost maroon, you could say -- and has a cheesy dad joke on it "I asked a dog what's two minus two. He said nothing."

Once the sleeves fully cover his hands, he pulls them up to his nose so he can take in the smell. Motor oil, cologne -- apple, sandalwood, a little bit of fresh grass -- and the smell of his dads shampoo.

That's when the rumble starts in his chest.

His eyes blink open.

What was that?

Thinking he must be imagining things, he closes his eyes once more and sinks further into his comfortable bed. His fuzzy blankets are over his head and create a warm cocoon around him.

The rumble starts again.

This time, he lets it go for a while, curious as to what it is. His chest is full of this warm feeling and buzzes at the warmth and love he feels.

He's almost going to fall asleep like this.

What the hell?

Peter sits up, placing a hand over his chest and rubbing it. "F.R.I.D.A.Y.? D-Did you hear that?"

"Indeed, Mr. Parker."

The boy pulls out his laptop, opening up Google, but his hands freezes. What am I supposed to look up? Why the fuck is my chest buzzing? Why am I a freak? What the hell is wrong with me?

"Um, F.R.I.? You don't happen to know what was going on, do you?" Peter asks sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. "What was that?"

"I believe that was intermittent signaling of the laryngeal and diaphragmatic muscles." The AI says. "It caused a sort of rumbling in your chest."

Peter rubs his eyes tiredly, shaking his head. "Um, human words, please?"

"You were purring."

Peter chokes out a laugh. It's not a real laugh, more of an awkward, surprised one. He stares forward at the wall, reaching a hand up to rub his throat and then his chest. "L-Like a cat?"

"I believe it has something to do with your spider abilities." F.R.I.D.A.Y. begins. "There are types of spiders that purr. Most of them do it to attract mates, however, I believe the reason you do it is to express your content, much like a cat."

". . . because, like a cat, I'm mammal." Peter concludes, wincing. "Great. I'm more of a freak than before. What's next? Am I going to get fangs? Start spitting venom?"

"Would you like me to answer that?" F.R.I.D.A.Y. asks in her ever helpful voice.

"It was rhetorical." Peter mumbles, pushing himself out of bed. "But now I'm scared."

______________

The second time he felt himself wanting to start purring, it was more embarrassing.

One, he was at school. And two, it was while he was sitting between Ned and MJ.

"We got a new Lego set." Ned informs MJ, clearly very proud.

She rolls her eyes fondly. "Oh, yeah? What is it this time, huh? Wait, wait, wait. Let me guess. Something nerdy?"

"No!" Ned grumbles.

"Sorta." Peter admits, ignoring the way Ned glares at him in betrayal. "It's a Star Wars thing."

"Yeah." Ned swings an arm around Peters shoulders, smirking at MJ. "And I bet you're jealous you can't help us build it."

"Oh, come on." MJ starts continuously ruffling Peters hair and grips the bottom of his chin to smush his face a little. "Peter, are you not going to let me help you guys?"

Peter laughs, trying to shove both his friends off but MJ doesn't let up in her teasing. "I mean, I guess if you want to that badly. You don't need to beg or anything."

"Oh, please." MJ continues messing with his hair, smirking when she notices him rolling his eyes half heartedly.

That's when he starts to feel like purring.

And he hates himself.

He was just having a good time with his friends, they literally just had their arms around him. Causally. Why did it become some sort of big deal in his spider mind? Yeah, you could technically label him as content. His friends were smiling and laughing along with him and that's when he's happiest.

But, really?

Peter swallows down the purrs, desperately trying not to let the rumbling take control of him when MJ and Ned keep their arms around his shoulders. He doesn't even notice them start a new conversation, him having started picking at his food.

Ned and him have always been best friends, ever since elementary school. MJ obviously was a new member, making their duo a trio.

She wasn't all that open, so it was a bit shocking when she started showing platonic physical affection, but welcomed. Peter guessed she was sort of like Tony in way that since he couldn't express himself emotionally all that well, he did better with pats on the back and things like that.

"You alright?"

At the sound of MJ's voice, Peter snaps out of his trance, almost letting himself purr on accident. He's quick to swallow it back, however, and smiles tightly at her. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just nervous for my test after lunch."

"Right. Like you're going to fail." MJ pulls her arm away from Peter so she can start picking at her salad. "You studied all last week during lunch and even studied on your phone yesterday while we were all hanging out."

"When?" Ned's brows pull together. Then realization goes over his face, forehead smoothing out. "During The Empire Strikes Back?!"

Peter rolls his eyes at the betrayed tone in Neds voice. "I've seen it a million times!"

"I only agreed to watch your dork movies because you love them so much." MJ says before stuffing a bunch of lettuce in her mouth. She doesn't even bother to chew it all before speaking again. "You were studying for half the movie."

"You love them too." Peter mutters. "You just don't want to admit it."

MJ doesn't reply, just sighs with a smile.

______________

The rest of the week is spent with Peter desperately trying to keep his purring down.

He hates this. He hates feeling like a freak.

Physically? He's awful. His chest is starting to hurt. The hurt spreads up his throat and almost feels like a burn. A burn that won't go away.

Emotionally? He's not so good either. He's started to reject physical forms of affection. When his friends try to pat him on the back, he shrinks away, playing it off with a smile of some stupid comment. When Tony or May try and hug him, he brushes it off, saying he needs to shower or that he has to go to his room. Sometimes he just quickly ducks away, hoping they don't expect a thing.

A week quickly turns into two. Two turns into a whole month. Soon, he loses count of how long it's been since he last got a hug or any form of platonic physical affection. And he doesn't care. He feels sick but he focuses his whole self on his studies and on patrol life.

______________

There's a different sort of ache in Peters chest.

It's not caused by the forcing himself not to purr. It's the ache that you feel when you get no form of physical affection at all. Not even a pat on the back. Nothing. But it's fine. He's fine. He doesn't need it . . . right?

"Hey, Pete." Tony greets when the boy walks into the room. "How was school?"

"It was fine." Peter tosses his backpack down on the ground. He slips down on the stool that's pulled up next to where Tony works. "How was being Tony Stark today?"

"Oh, it was fine." Tony smiles, laughing softly. "Thanks for asking, kid." He places one of his tools down to look at Peter. "What do you wanna work on today?"

"I don't know." Peter shrugs, not bothering to smile back. "Whatever you want."

"This is an odd flip." Tony comments. "Not used to doing what I want to do in the lab these days. Not that I'm complaining, so don't you dare apologize. You sure you don't have a suit or anything in mind?"

"No." Peter answers, tone more firm.

Tony's a little taken aback by it, eyes squinting as if studying the kid for a moment before he regains composure. "Alright. How about we work on some of the functions with that AI of yours?"

Peter tilts his head. "What do you mean?"

"Karen, as you call her." Tony smirks, a teasing tone to his voice. He's trying to lighten the dark mood he feels in the room. "She doesn't always report back to me. She needs to stop listening to you so much. It's going to kill you one of these days. Last time she listened to you, I found you bleeding out on--"

"Shut up." Peter spits out, staring down at the table intently.

The older genius sputters in confusion for a few seconds. "What?"

"Just stop." Peters fists squeeze tight, knuckles turning white. "She's my AI. I don't care if I'm dying. She should listen to me."

"Okay." Tony leans against his table, trying to look Peter in the eyes. "What's with the attitude? And don't act like your life is worthless, you--"

"Why not? You do it everyday." Peter mumbles to himself, loud enough so Tony hears.

Tony's about to respond, just as rude, just as snarky. But then he thinks for a moment. He thinks back to every single time he was acting like an asshole to push people away when he was hurting. Then he remembers how alike him and Peter are. Everything becomes clear in his genius mind.

"What's wrong?" Tony speaks, trying to sound gentler than before despite the roughness to his tone. "Out with it."

"What do you mean?" Peter rolls his eyes.

"Okay, enough with that." Tony states, leaning his head down so he can get a better look at Peters face. "I just want to help you, bud, you know that. Why don't you just--?"

Tony gets cut off.

While he was speaking, he had reached out to place a hand on Peters shoulder. When he did, Peter gasped out, like he was in pain, like he was about to cry. And Tony tenses.

"Hey, kid, wha--?"

Then he's cut off again.

Peters body starts shaking with sobs, his shoulders hunch forward and pitiful noises leave his mouth. Tears roll down his red cheeks so fast that Tony can barely keep up with it.

"I'm sorry, Pete." Tony starts to pull his hand away. "I didn't mean to--"

But Peter grips onto his hand, keeping it there. The dads eyes widen, he takes the hint, however, and uses his other hand to cup the boys cheek. Peter leans into the touch, starting to hiccup and cough over the cries.

"Hey, hey, hey." Tony soothes, trying to let go of the boys shoulder so he can hug him, but Peter grips onto him tighter. "I promise, I won't let go. I just need my hand back for a second, tesoro."

At that name, Peter lets go, seeming to trust his gentle tone. Tony now uses that free hand to pull the boy into his chest. They both slowly sink onto the ground, making Tony mentally cringe, knowing it's been a while since he last cleaned the floor. Have I ever even cleaned this floor?

He doesn't think about it too hard.

All he can focus on is Peter. "Hey, what happened, bambino? Are you hurt?" His heart drops when Peter nods. "Where does it hurt?"

"I-I don't know." He whimpers pathetically. "I hurt. M-My chest hurts. I feel empty."

"When was the last time you got a hug?" The philanthropist asks, using his free hand to start brushing back Peters curls.

"I don't know." Peter presses his face into Tony's shirt.

"I know I haven't hugged you for a while." Tony says, mentally cursing himself. "You just seemed to push all of that away, so I stopped trying. I'm so sorry, il mio cuore."

"It's-It's not your fault." Peter stammers, desperately gasping for air. He grabs onto Tony's shirt collar so hard the man's sure it'll wrinkle, not that he cares, but Peter's scaring him. "I-I have to tell y-you something."

"What is it, ragazzino?" Tony gingerly runs his fingers through the boys curls, pulling them apart. "You can tell me anything. It's just you and me."

Peter tries not to lean against Tony too much, he doesn't want to purr. "Th-There's this thing that's been happening to me." He cries. "I've tried to make it stop, but it doesn't go away."

"What is it?" Tony asks in the softest voice Peter thinks he's ever heard.

"I'm embarrassed." The boy admits, his chin practically glued against his chest, looking down in shame. "An-And I feel like a f-freak."

"What?" Tony's eyebrows pull together on concern. "Dolcezza, you are not a freak."

"Y-You don't know." Peter shakes his head, sounding utterly defeated. "You can't say that b-before you hear wh-what it is. You don't even kn-know what I-I--"

"Okay." Tony brushes a thumb over Peters cheeks, wiping the tears away. "Okay. Why don't you just tell me what it is? I won't ever judge you. I promise."

"It's-It's so stupid." Peter pushes away from him a little bit. "Th-There's this type of spider that p-purrs."

"Yeah, I've heard of that." Tony says. "Why is that important?" Peter frowns, looking at his dad in a sort of sheepish way. "Are-- Peter, are you trying to tell me that you purr?"

The way that Tony asks it, makes it sound like a rhetorical question. But when Peter doesn't disagree, the man tilts his head in a little bit of surprise. He's about to speak again, but Peter's already started.

"I've-I've tried to stop it-it." Peter tells him, more tears rolling down from his swollen, doe eyes. "My chest and throat burn. I th-thought that it would eventually go-go away. But it hasn't. And it h-hurts. And I don't kn-know what to do."

"So, you purr like a spider?" Tony repeats to himself. "But, you must purr when you're content like a cat?" So many thoughts are running through his mind, but he's quick to shake his head and cup Peters face in his calloused hands. "Wait, you're trying to stop it?"

"I will stop it." Peter sobs. "I-I promise. I know it's weird an-and that I'm a freak. I'll try harder to stop it, I--"

"Hey, hey, no." Tony cuts him off. "Peter, I don't think you're a freak. Not at all." The man looks at his son and then at the dirty ground that they still sit on. "Look, bud, can we go upstairs? I need you to breathe and to be calm. I don't think you can do that all too well on the ground of the lab. Okay?"

Peter nods. "O-Okay."

Tony loops an arm around Peters shoulder and helps him stand up. He lets his kid lean against him as they make their way across the room, out the door and start up the stairs. The man rubs a hand up and down the kids shoulder, trying to keep him as calm as he can.

Once they're upstairs, Tony leads Peter to the couch and then, much to the boys surprise, he heads over to the kitchen.

It's an open floor plan so Peter can see exactly where he is and what he's doing. Yet, the young superhero doesn't know exactly what he's doing in the kitchen. He takes things out of drawers and cabinets, not saying much of anything.

Though, every once and a while he does count to four, then seven, then eight. It's a breathing pattern that Peter knows by heart.

Peter sits there for a little while, breathing. He's not sure how much time passes, it can't be much because soon Tony comes back with two mugs. Peters favourite and his own favourite. Tony hands the one with red and blue stripes to his kid and then settles down on the couch next to him with his own mug that's covered in dad jokes.

When Peter takes a sip from the mug, he knows instantly that it's hot chocolate.

"Bambino." Tony begins, placing his mug on the coffee table. "You're not a freak. You're not weird. Nothing. And don't you dare say that about yourself." He scoots forward. "And I also don't want you to stop yourself. Look, I know that no one else purrs, but for you it's normal. You got bit by a radioactive spider and you have spider abilities. This just happens to be one of the newest ones."

"You don't want me to stop?" Peter runs his finger over the rim of his mug. "But, won't you be weirded out if you hug me and I just start . . . purring?"

"No." Tony says, so quickly that Peter starts to believe it, just a bit. "Kid, it can't be good for you to stop doing it. If it makes you hurt to stop, then you shouldn't. Plus, it means you feel safe and it's a way to soothe yourself too, right? That means you do it when you're stressed. Or, you should be."

"Yeah." Peter looks down at his hot chocolate, watching the steam swirl. "I just thought that it would freak . . . well, all of you out."

"You haven't told anyone?" Tony reaches out and places a hand on Peters shoulder. "Not even your friends?"

Peter shakes his head. "I didn't want them to be weirded out by me."

"They wouldn't be." Tony gives his shoulder a squeeze. "Have you met Ned? He freaks out over every single one of your powers. That's the same kid that gushes about the bad guys, even when they put you in danger. And MJ? She would kick anyones ass who called you weird for this."

"That's true." Peter manages a small smile.

They both sip on their hot chocolate for a while. Peter seems to be thinking, so Tony lets him. They're quiet and they drink. After a moment, Tony turns the TV on. He goes into Netflix and then scrolls to one of the most recently watched shows. Brooklyn Nine Nine, one of Peters favourite TV shows. Tony scrolls to an episode that he himself knows is a good one, "Boyle-Linetti Wedding."

The show plays softly in the background. Peter turns and looks over at the screen. He places his mug over on a table that's placed next to the couch with a lamp on it. Peter sighs, rubbing his still aching throat and chest.

"Come here." Tony pulls the boy closer.

Peter takes this opportunity to get comfortable, like old times when he wasn't touch starved and trying not to let anyone hug him. He leans his folded knees against Tony's lap and sinks into the man's side. He lays his head on Tony's chest, the man reacting immediately by tucking the boys head under his chin. While one of Tony's arms stays around Peters shoulders, he reaches his other one up, threading his fingers into the boys soft hair.

He unknots the messy curls. "Bud?"

"Mhm?" Peter swallows, trying to focus on the show as much as he can. There's no point really, he's seen it so many times he could probably quote every single episode line by line.

"Keeping your purrs in isn't good for you." He reminds him. "Just-- I'm just saying."

After a few seconds, Peter feels the familiar rumble trying to start up in his chest. And this time, instead of keeping it down and letting his chest ache more like he usually does, he lets the rumble out. He starts purring, his cheeks heating up in a little bit of embarrassment.

"Tony? Peter?"

Peters purrs get cut off and he has to resist the urge to start crying again. "Oh, hey, May! Come watch TV with us. You've probably never seen this show, right?"

May plays along with Tony's joke. "Hm, yeah, I don't think I'm familiar. Is it about a fire department or something?"

Peter rolls his eyes, puffing out a laugh. The woman curls next to Peter, rubbing a hand up and down his back.

"Did you know that our kid purrs now?" Tony questions, making Peter groan. "What? You're just like our own little Cat-Spider."

"Aww." May practically coos. "Peter, why haven't I heard about this before?"

"Take a guess." Tony says, smiling when Peter immediately gets comfortable and starts to purr again.

"He tried to hide it?" May frowns a bit.

"Bingo."

"I think you mean bingpot." Peter mumbles, letting his eyes slip shut.

"You're right." Tony ruffles his curls before continuing to brush his fingers through them. "My bad."

All three of them are quiet for a while. Both co-parents listen to their kid purr, Brooklyn Nine Nine still playing in the back ground. They share a look.

"Just when you think he can't get more adorable." May comments, ignoring Peter when he groans again.

"Right?" Tony agrees. "He has always seemed like a baby animal of some sort. Guess now we know it's a cat."

"Awww, our own kitten." May hums in response, smiling.

"Ugh. You guys are the worst." Peter mutters sleepily.

"Oh, come on." Tony pokes him in the ribs. "You love us and you know it."

May smiles. "And we love you."

There's a beat of silence, Peter purring, TV show playing, peaceful all around.

"Our adorable kitten."

"So adorable."

"Oh my goodness."