Work Text:
Arriving in the first has been an experience. No’h feels like he comes too short of all the expectations people have of him there. His echo isn’t even as strong as Maite’s or any of the others he knows. He doesn’t think he can do this but he can try. And he will try his best because that’s what he always does.
Even with all the doubts and worries that have been plaguing since being brought here, he can’t help but enjoy the attention the Crystal Exarch has given him.
It makes his skin, his fur, his everything tingle with the way the Exarch talks and looks at him. He has never seen or heard someone talk about him in such a reverent way? In such a wishful way? Even if they’re trying to hide it away.
No’h has done his fairly heroic acts, be with his lance or his gunblade and he enjoys it, he loves helping others, he loves seeing how happy they get after he finds their sheep or after killing a particular hunt. And well, if he loves even more how some start to praise him and look up to him, that’s fine too. It’s good.
So it’s no surprise how No’h seems to shine or get giddy whenever he’s in close distance to the Exarch. The attention, the praise is so good .
“You know,” Thancred starts, “the guy might get the wrong idea.”
They’re mid preparation for Mt Gulg when Thancred drops next to his side while he’s cleaning up his gear. No’h’s ears twitches and he frowns at Thancred as if to say ‘what do you mean by that?’.
Thancred snorts and shakes his head, “With the way you preen whenever the exarch starts talking to you…” He extends his hands like ‘you gotta know where i’m going with this’.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh,” Thancred turns away and looks at the others as they prepare, turning his gaze to Ryne and Urianger for longer checking if they’re alright, “I know you don’t mean anything bad by it but leading someone on isn’t that nice.”
“I’m not-“ No’h splutters, he is not leading Exarch on. He just enjoys how the Exarch interacts with him and, okay, maybe he has noticed how Exarch’s feelings might not come solely by some sort of respect he has got for no’h’s past deeds but also, worshipness and maybe even love. But is it so wrong for him to like that?
“Listen,” Thancred pats him on the shoulder, “I just don’t want you or him to get hurt by the end of all this, twelve knows how much we have been through already. It’s just…” He straightens his lips trying to find the correct words, “Just food for thought.”
Sighing and patting his legs to get up, Thancred lets out one last snort and turns back to him, “It would also be terribly awkward. We are about to save the world, come on.”
No’h watches Thancred get up and shakes his head, “I’ll stay here for a bit longer.” He picks up his gunblade and motions it at him, “Gotta fix it up and, well,” he frowns, “I’ll think about what you said.”
Shrugging Thancred waves to him before joining Urianger and Ryne again.
No’h sighs and turns to his gunblade, he did say he was gonna fix it up so he might as well do it. But it isn’t that bad, is it? Given the last talk he had with the Exarch… did he make himself sound too eager?
It wasn’t hard to figure out that whoever the Exarch was talking about was him. It was No’h Moi, the person the Exarch wanted to travel the world with, who he wanted to go on adventures with. The Exarch hoped for it. The Exarch wished for it and yearned for it. That much No’h could decipher.
And he wanted it too. The Exarch seemed like a nice and thoughtful guy, No’h enjoyed his company whenever they talked and spent time together. He was terribly strong and that could clearly be seen by everything he had done in the Crystarium and to the First. In regards to how No’h feels about the Exarch himself and if they are to the same extent as the other’s. Well.
No’h has never been the best one about this, he doubts Maite has ever had thought any about romantic love and Luka is too romantic to a fault so when the cousins were together, it was hard to talk about any of that. And they are the only ones, he would even think about mentioning it. He doesn’t really know what love is or how it feels like. He knows he loves the attention, the way the Exarch talks and how he says ‘my friend’ when he clearly means something more.
It gives No’h a rush. A heady feeling. He feels powerful with it. Maybe he’s too childish or too like a teenager even after all the hardships he has gone through after arriving in Eorzea.
Seeing that the gunblade seems to be in peak form again, genuinely the best it has ever looked since he got it (he can’t say he is the best in cleaning up or mending his gear), he gets up and walks towards the rest of the group.
All those thoughts are for when they don’t have the threat of the lightwarden looming over them or the ascians. Perhaps that’s too much of a convenient excuse to not think about feelings or how he might be hurting a particular person but it’s true.
With the gunblade strapped to his back and with all his worries pushed to the back of his mind, he prompts, “Everyone ready?”
He will have time to ponder over exarch, his feelings, exarch’s feelings and everything else later. They have a lightwarden to kill and a world to save.