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Kai made a point to linger outside of Lloyd's room as much as possible; he couldn't bring himself to leave, but he also couldn't bring himself to go in, knowing that the words he wanted to say wouldn't be found and would die on his lips.
He knew that the others, especially Nya, were concerned about the lingering, but he couldn't bring himself to care when his little brother was hurting. 'The only person that matters right now is Lloyd.'
It wasn't like he wasn't still training, taking care of himself and hanging out with the others, but whenever he had a chance, he would walk over to the forever closed door and press his ear against it, hoping to hear some sort of noise that would give him an excuse to rush inside, hold his brother in his arms and promise to keep him safe.
Until that indication came, however, he couldn't bring himself to open or even knock on the door. 'All I can do is wait.'
The first time he heard something that could warrant barging in was two days after the battle against the preeminent, just before he went to bed when he heard quiet but vicious sobs coming from Lloyd.
He couldn't get himself to move when he heard the sound of tears and was stuck with the sound until they diminished thirty minutes later and he could only pull himself into bed, trying to keep the same kind of sobs from his own throat, becoming stuck in a loop of his own regrets.
'I promised him that I'd look after him and I can't even open his door.'
He didn't hear anything else for two days. But on the fifth day, when Kai arrived at the door after breakfast to hear the familiar grunts of Lloyd fighting, he didn't even think before opening the door. The sight made Kai's stomach churn as Lloyd refused to acknowledge him.
One of the support beams was slowly being punched inward and starting to bend at the middle and the wood was covered in blood stains; Lloyd's hands were covered in scratches, splinters and gashes as he continued to grunt as he punched the beam much harder than necessary.
"Lloyd, stop!," Kai cried out as he approached Lloyd and grabbed his wrist, ignoring the danger of possibly being punched himself, "please, Lloyd! I don't want to fight you again!"
Lloyd's hands stilled and his body stiffened as he panted, his eyes fixated on the ground as Kai's hands shook with worry around his wrist.
'Get it together, Kai,' he told himself before swallowing, trying to get his suddenly dry mouth moist again before trying to speak so the words didn't die in his throat.
"I-I'm fine," Lloyd stuttered as he made eye contact with Kai, his face glistening with sweat, "you can let go of me now."
Luckily, Kai's lack of movement was saved by Nya coming in with the first aid kit and depositing it on the bed before slowly prying his fingers off of where they were clamped around Lloyd's wrist.
'I froze again.' He realized as he finally managed to move to see Nya pulling out the gauze.
"Nya?" He managed to ask, resulting in Nya looking up at him with concern etched into her face, her eyes tired. "I can do it."
After a moment of hesitation, she nodded and got up; but before she left, she left him with a whisper. "It's okay if you need to get me."
Kai nodded and took her spot on the bed before pulling out the tweezers before finally looking over at Lloyd, the sweat replaced with a look of numbness that threatened to maim his heart.
He slowly started to pull the splinters out of the torn apart knuckles, wincing every time Lloyd's whimpers of pain broke through the silence; Kai desperately wanted to be the one to comfort him but that would have to happen after he finished cleaning his hands.
"I'm not worth all of this..." Lloyd's voice came out just above a whisper, but due to the silence, it was enough to make Kai's blood boil under his skin.
"Is that what Morro told you?" He managed to keep his voice steady and calm, despite it taking all of his inner strength. 'If he wasn't destroyed…'
He stayed silent for a moment, most likely regretting that the words had escaped his brain, as Kai poured the antiseptic onto a gauze pad and slowly brushed it across Lloyd's bloodied knuckles.
"The entire time he was in my head, he told me how he was supposed to be the green ninja, how I stole it from him because of my relation to Sensei, and how I didn't deserve it." Lloyd admitted as his hands shook noticeably.
"Lloyd, you do deserve it," Kai tried to reason but Lloyd looked away, making him wince internally when he remembered the details of said scroll, "I know you wish it wasn't you, that you didn't have to...my point is, that you are the best out of all of us. If anyone deserves it, it's you."
Kai signed as Lloyd looked away again while he wrapped up his knuckles and he swallowed when he saw the tears starting to run down his face before he spoke, choking on his own voice.
"I should be okay now. Everyone else has gotten past it, but...I'm stuck in this endless loop of memories and flashbacks."
"You need to go easier on yourself, Lloyd," Kai insisted, placing his hand on his knee and gaining back his eye contact, "you've had a really, really, rough few weeks. It's going to take you a while to get back to it and that's okay."
"It doesn't feel okay."
"Recovering from something traumatic usually isn't, you know," Kai added, gently nudging Lloyd's shoulder with his own, "talking can help, you know. Let us in."
Whatever came to his mind when Kai suggested it had Lloyd shaking his head violently and he knew that it was time to leave Lloyd to himself, that this was the most human interaction he had been exposed to in awhile.
"It's alright if you're not ready to talk about it yet," Kai explained as he cleaned up the trash from the first aid kit, knowing that no one ever responded well when forced to open up, "If you ever want to though, I'll be here."
It took Lloyd a moment to respond, mostly likely due to the sniffle and him wiping his tears on his pajama sleeve before turning to Kai with a smile, "thanks."
Kai nodded before walking out, first aid kit in hand as he closed the door behind him and finally letting the pent up emotions out, both the sadness and anger mixing in his tears.
'Nothing like this will ever happen again. Not if I have anything to say about it.'