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"What about you, Akechi-kun?" Maruki turns his placid, sad eyes to the man who had, moments ago, been lurking outside of Leblanc like the sneaky little assassin he is. Ren still hadn't recovered from his appearance, the implication that somehow he had died. But he couldn't have. He couldn't have, look he's right here, and at Jazz Jin the other night, they…
"What about me." Akechi huffs, crossing his arms defiantly. His tone stays flat, not carrying the question in his words.
"It's only right you have a say in it. You're Ren-kun's wish, but of course you have a choice, too. You have the most to lose in this exchange."
Ren's hands clench into fists against his jeans, but not because he's worried about Akechi's choice. No, Akechi is laughing in Maruki's face before he finishes the offer, cold and gleeful. "Is that your last resort, Doctor? Hoping I'll give you the permission you want to ease your guilty conscience? Go to hell." No, Ren's not worried about Akechi's choice. He is still worried about his own.
Every second Maruki lingers here, every time he implies Akechi… he feels his resolve slipping. If only he could hold Akechi again, feel his warmth against him like he felt last night, he'd know he's real. He has to be, he could feel his heart beating in his chest when he crowded Ren against the outer wall of the club and -
When he'd grinned so angry and fierce in the laundromat and pulled Ren in close and -
Anyway. Akechi is alive. Ren knows he is. Has to be.
Maruki just sighs. Seems like he might have been talking a while as Ren got lost in his own head. "You're eighteen, Akechi-kun, you don't have to throw your life away. Don't you have more to live for?"
"Like what?" Akechi shifts his weight to his left foot, a cocky little jaunt of his hips that brings a slight smile to Ren's face. It's his stance when he's sure he's winning, one Ren's seen dozens of times, only usually he has a pool cue, or a bat, or an arcade laser gun. "I lived for nothing but revenge for the last two years. Thanks to you and Ren, I don't even have that. I'm more than willing to die."
Except you won't, Ren silently amends. Because you're not dead.
"What if I could bring your mother back?"
The air in the room, already chilly, drops several degrees. Akechi's glare could cut through ice, burning with such intensity Ren sits up a little higher. "But you didn't." His voice is low, deadly quiet.
"Not yet," Maruki says like a threat. "My abilities were limited in terms of what I could learn about your life. But now that you're here, I wanted to ask."
"Oh, now you're asking? I imagine the rest of humanity doesn't get that privilege."
Maruki cracks a weak smile. "It would be hard even for me to individually ask over seven billion people. But I'll ask you: Do you want me to bring your mother back?"
A vein pops up along the hinge of Akechi's jaw and before Ren can react Akechi has crossed the short distance between them, dragging Maruki up by the lapel with one hand and cocking back a fist with the other.
"Akechi, wait, stop!" Ren cries at the same time a softer, gentler voice behind him says Goro-chan.
Akechi freezes, fist inches from Maruki’s face, trembling. Ren glances behind them and sees a mousey, thin woman with Akechi's shade of hair, a little longer than his, tumbling down a little past her shoulders in unkempt but not unattractive waves. He can't quite make out her eyes, her head ducked low.
"You're not real." Akechi spits at the apparition without turning around.
I'm sorry, is all she says.
Akechi snarls, deciding he'd rather grab Maruki with both hands and hurl him into Leblanc's countertop. He still won't turn around. "You're not real!"
I could be. Her voice is even softer, and she tiptoes carefully up behind Akechi, moving like a woman all too familiar with angry men. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. But I am now. It can be better.
"Stop putting words in her mouth!" He howls, clapping his hands over his ears. Ren doesn't know what to do, what he can do.
"That's not how my power works, Akechi-kun," Maruki says, braced against the counter. "I don't control anything she says or does."
I love you, Goro.
In a flash Akechi's turned around, fist clenched, and throws the punch he'd wound up for Maruki towards his own mother, who snaps out of existence just as fast as she appeared. Akechi stumbles, disoriented.
"Where… where'd she…"
"I didn't exactly bring her back for you to hit her, too," Maruki has the gall to reprimand in a soft scold. Anger rolls hot and sure under Ren's skin as Akechi stares aghast at his gloved hands.
"That's enough, Maruki," Ren finally finds his voice, imbued with the anger and confidence of Joker. "You have our answer. Both of our answers. Now get out. We'll face off tomorrow."
Maruki sighs. "Okay, if you insist. Just… keep it in mind, okay?" He straightens his jacket, casts one last pitying look at Akechi, and leaves.
Akechi doesn't move. Ren steps closer, cautious step after cautious step, realizing too late this was exactly how his mother moved. "Akechi… are you okay?"
His open hands snap shut into fists and he drops his arms, swinging limp at his side. "I'm fine," he answers flatly.
"That was really fucked up," is all Ren can think to say.
"Yes." Akechi agrees in the same emotionless monotone. It's strange to see him like this. Not covering his pain with a charming smile, not brandishing his wounds like a knife, not angling for sympathy or a facsimile of closeness.
"Are you-" Ren tries to ask again but Akechi cuts him off.
"You want me alive, don't you."
Terror drips down to Ren's bones. "You are alive," he says firmly.
Akechi scoffs. "Don't be so naive, Ren. You heard what the doctor said."
"He was lying." It's getting harder to breathe.
"He demonstrated very clearly how easy it is for him to bring people back from the dead. Okumura, Isshiki… my mother …"
"But not you," Ren defies, sounding petulant and desperate even to his own ears. "You're not-"
"Ren, just stop." Akechi sounds so tired. "This is not a heart you can change, it's not a victory to be won. You must accept it."
Ren finally allows himself to touch Akechi, a hand on his sleeve. He feels so, so real. "I don't want to."
Akechi's laugh rings hollow. "You sound like me, when the doctor told me my mother was never coming back."
Another step puts Ren's chest to Akechi's back. Not quite a hug, not quite not a hug. Ren has never been one to be uncomfortable in a stilted silence, but this one suffocates. The room feels so cold, and Akechi feels so real. Is tomorrow really the last day they have…?
"I wanted her to be alive," Akechi says so quietly Ren could barely make it out. "I knew if i turned around and saw her, I'd… I wouldn't…"
"It's okay, I understand," Ren offers automatically.
"You do, don't you?" He turns and - and he holds Ren's face in his hands. Cradling, gentle, the leather soft and smooth against his cheeks, and Ren has to resist the dizzying urge to close his eyes and nuzzle into his palms like a cat. "Ren, do you want me?"
"Yes," he answers automatically, stupid, blissful. Grab him by the back of the neck, kiss him, haul him upstairs why did he wait so long to ask… But the furrow in Akechi's brow tells him that is the wrong answer.
"Ren," he says more urgently, thumbs pressing into his cheekbones. "Would you end the world for me?"
Oh. That's what he means. Ren searches Akechi's eyes, bright and fever-wild, trying to divine the right answer, the one that will make it better, the one that will bring them both peace, relief, assurance that this isn't their last stolen moment together, and finds nothing.
What scares him is that he would. He never questioned the wrongness of Maruki’s reality until he faced his own selfish wish, the fear of losing it. Having to take the perfect world from each of his friends was hard, but he knew it was the right thing to do. And they agreed, in the end. But this…
He's broken the rules of reality before, when they changed Kamoshida's heart. Why couldn't he do it again to steal Akechi's?
"I wanted to," Ren admits in a shameful whisper. "When Maruki told me losing this world means losing you… for the first time, I considered taking the deal."
Akechi doesn't look as angry as he thought. He probably expected that answer. Leaning in, cheeks brushing, so impossibly unbearably gentle, Akechi pulls him in for a hug. "Would that make you happy?" So close, so urgent.
Ren's heart won't stop hammering against his ribs. What is Akechi getting at, here? The naked honesty in his voice frightens him, demands honesty in return. "I wouldn't do that to you," he tries in vain to avoid reality.
"Do I make you happy?" Like a good rival, frenzied, driven, always pushing Ren, never allowing him to hide or run away. Ren pulls Akechi close as he can, blotting budding tears into Akechi's shoulder.
"Yes."
That does it. Akechi sags against him, in relief or resignation. "Even like this?" Ren doesn't have to ask what he means.
"Especially like this."
Akechi's head drops to Ren's shoulder. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah," Ren murmurs. "Me too."