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“I assume you remember what happened back on Shido’s ship?” Maruki asked, his eyes trained on Goro.
Goro felt his heart drop at the words. He knew what Maruki was getting at, he just didn’t want to believe it. “There’s plenty of ways he could have gotten out.”
Maruki gave a sad shake of his head. “You know the truth, Akechi. You know what wish I granted you.”
Goro’s mouth went dry at the confirmation of his greatest fear. Akira hadn’t survived the engine room. There was no way he had. Goro had already thought his way through every possibility when they returned from the ship. Besides, if he had survived, he wouldn’t have waited so long to come back. Akira was blindly devoted to those friends of his. There was no way he would have trusted Goro to lead them through the end if he was still around. He had known this the whole time. He had simply let himself believe what he’d wanted to since this fucked up reality had taken over.
Goro refused to let any emotion come through as he glared at Maruki from across the table. He wouldn’t give the bastard the satisfaction of seeing him fold. It’s not like this was all that surprising anyway. Goro had his suspicions from the very beginning. It had simply been too good to be true. Good things didn’t happen to Goro Akechi.
“I know this must be a lot to process,” Maruki continued. “I won’t need your answer just yet. You have until tomorrow to make your decision.”
Goro narrowed his eyes dangerously. “What I need is for you to shut the fuck up.” His tone was surprisingly even. Everything in him wanted him to jump across the table and strangle the ‘therapist’. He tried his best to compose himself.
“Akechi—”
“Did you not understand what I just said?”
Maruki opened his mouth as if to retort again, but Akira spoke up faster. “Goro’s right. You really need to stop now.” His voice was shaky and the sound shook Goro to his core. Akira was upset and now Goro had to do something about it.
“You need to leave. Now.” There was an implied threat in Goro’s words.
Maruki’s eyes widened ever so slightly. “If you have anymore questions for me—”
“I told you to leave.” Goro nearly growled the words out now. Maruki was testing his patience. Goro picked up the calling card and chucked it across the table at Maruki with more force than he intended. “Take this and get out.”
Maruki stood up, holding the calling card in his hands. “Of course. If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” Without another word, Maruki left Leblanc.
Once a few minutes had passed, Morgana finally spoke up. “Akechi, I know what he said was a lot, but we still have to do this.”
Goro narrowed his eyes at the cat this time. “You need to leave too. I need to be alone with Akira for a bit.”
Morgana glanced at Akira nervously, looking for some sort of reassurance that he certainly wasn’t going to get from Goro. Goro resisted the urge to roll his eyes at him.
“Go over to the Sakura’s for the night.” Akira said as gently as possible. “We just need to talk about this and we’ll see you at the palace in the morning.”
Morgana looked like he was going to protest at first. Goro could understand his hesitation. If Maruki was right, this could be the last time he would get to spend time with Akira. The thought made Goro’s blood boil again. The only good part of any of this was the opportunity to beat the shit out of Maruki.
“Mona, it’s all gonna be fine. I promise.” Akira reached down to pat the top of Morgana’s head with a soft smile. That seemed to suffice.
“Sure. Of course. Nothing could take down our fearless leader!” Morgana started walking towards the door that Akira was now holding open. Before going through it he stopped and looked over at Goro. “Don’t be too upset about it. You know as well as I do that nothing could keep Joker down.”
Goro gave him a stiff nod as he watched him exit the cafe. He couldn’t be honest with the cat. Not now. He had seen how torn up Morgana was after Akira’s ‘death’ and he didn’t want to trigger that all over again. Not until he actually had to.
Neither of them said anything at first. Goro wasn’t sure where to start. What could he possibly say to make any of this make sense? He should have listened to his instincts from the start. He shouldn’t have let himself get even closer to Akira. Now he had dragged both of them into a mess that there was no easy way out of.
“So, the only change in your perfect reality is having me around huh?” Akira broke the silence with a cheeky grin. “I knew you were in love with me.” Even through his bravado, Goro could hear the fragility in his voice.
“Can you take anything seriously, Kurusu?”
“We’re using last names now?”
Goro sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. He didn’t want to do this. He simply didn’t have it in him right now. “Akira. We need to actually talk about this.”
Akira gave Goro a small smile. “Talk about what exactly? Maruki’s clearly just trying to manipulate us into doing what he wants. There’s nothing to talk about.”
Goro stared at him for a minute, unsure of how to approach this. He honestly couldn’t tell if Akira was deflecting or if he seriously didn’t understand the truth behind Maruki’s words. “What did you do after the engine room?”
“I met up with you on Christmas eve. Which, if you recall, was before Maruki took over.”
“And before that? What happened to you in between those two things?” Goro ignored the last bit of Akira’s explanation. It was entirely possible that Maruki brought him back before enacting all the other changes. They didn’t quite understand the extent of his powers yet so it was hard to be sure of exactly what he was capable of.
Akira opened his mouth to respond, but immediately closed it again. Panic flashed through his eyes as he tried to pull up an adequate answer. “I— Goro, I don’t remember. But that doesn’t mean—”
“I know you’re not this stupid,” Goro snapped. Several different emotions were bubbling up inside Goro and fighting for control. He stood up from his chair and faced Akira fully. “You know Maruki is telling the truth and now we have to deal with it. There is no easy way out of this for any of us and you can’t go around pretending there is. So what do you want me to do?” The last question was so quiet that Goro couldn’t quite be sure if Akira heard it.
Akira took a few steps forward until he was directly in front of Goro. He tentatively reached out and grabbed Goro’s hands. It took everything in Goro not to flinch away from the contact. Physical affection was still hard for him in the best of circumstances. Right now, everything was too much and Goro didn’t know what to focus on.
“Goro, I don’t want you to have to do anything. This is your decision to make.”
“Akira I—” Goro’s voice caught in his throat. This wasn’t him. He always had a plan for moving forward. Goro Akechi didn’t get lost like this. He always knew what to do. Previously, Goro had always gone after what he wanted without any hint of hesitation. This time it was different. A familiar feeling quickly washed over him. Anger. Anger that the only person he had ever wanted had been taken away from him. That it now fell on him to make the decision that would make it permanent. “Why does it have to be me? Why do I have to make this choice? You’re the leader. You always have been.”
Akira tightened his grip on Goro’s hands. Unshed tears were now shining in his eyes. “It’s not my choice because it’s not my wish. It’s not right for me to make the decision when I won’t have to live with consequences. And if I heard correctly, you’ve done just fine as the leader in my stead.”
Goro felt his throat closing up again. He needed to do something. Talking wasn’t working. It wasn’t going to fix anything. “What do I owe these people anyway?” he muttered. “The world turned its back on me ages ago. Why should I help them all now?”
“You don’t actually want to let Maruki win. I know you don’t want to be controlled like that ever again.”
Goro swallowed down the tears that were threatening to spill over. “Of course I don’t. I hate that self-righteous bastard so fucking much Akira. I just. . .” I just don’t want to lose you again.
Akira let go of Goro’s hands and took another step forward to close the rest of the distance between them. He wrapped his arms around Goro and pulled him in as close as possible. “I can’t make this decision for you Goro. And I’m not going to try to influence you one way or another. I trust your judgment. I know you’ll do the right thing.”
Goro wanted to argue with him. He knew what the ‘right thing’ to do was and he desperately wanted to do the opposite. Goro knew he was inherently selfish and nothing was going to change that. “You’re putting your trust in the wrong person yet again.”
Akira shook his head again and gently squeezed Goro. “I’m not. I trusted you once and it seemed to work out just fine. You killed God that time.”
Goro let out a humorless laugh. “That’s because I wanted to. That ‘God’ ruined both of our lives and needed to be dealt with. This is different. What I want and what is right aren’t the same this time.”
“Goro, I trust you and nothing you can say is going to change that. I don’t have an opinion on what the right thing is here.”
“We both know that’s bullshit.”
Akira didn’t respond right away. One of his hands had moved up to Goro’s head and he was now gently running his fingers through his hair. Goro resisted the urge to melt into the touch. He had to keep hold of the anger and frustration. If he let it go, that would be disastrous. He needed the anger.
Akira pulled back just enough to be able to look Goro in the eyes. “I love you. You know that, right?”
In an instant, he felt so much of the anger melt away. Goro swallowed down the tears that threatened to overtake him. He couldn’t cry right now. “And what good has that done?”
“What do you mean?”
Goro tried his best to hold his response back. This wouldn’t help and he knew it. The words came rushing out of him anyway. “You sacrificed yourself in some sentimental campaign to save my life. I’m not worth that and we both know it. Everyone else needed you and for some reason you trusted me to help them instead. If your ‘love’ caused you to do that, then how could you possibly trust it to help us here.”
“There’s nothing you can say or do to make me regret that.” Akira answered quietly. “You are more than worth it and I refuse to let you or anyone else think otherwise.”
Goro stared at Akira for a moment before responding. “It was a mistake and now I’m the only one who can fix it. We should both be dead anyway so what does it really matter what we do?”
Akira nodded and moved in closer again. He planted a soft kiss on Goro’s forehead before hugging him as tightly as he could. “I will go along with any choice you make.”
“You won’t. You’ll hate me if I trap all of us here.” Goro knew it was a lie before the words were even out.
“I could never hate you. You know that.”
Goro swallowed again. He could feel how close he was to breaking. All of his worst fears had been confirmed and he either had to give up his freedom or Akira. He burrowed his face into the crook of Akira’s neck. The warmth radiating off of him was both grounding and completely disorienting. How could he let this go again? “I don’t think I can do it. I finally have something and I don’t think I can lose that. Besides, no one else would even know. They would all go back to living their happy lives, unaware of what could have been.”
“But would you be alright with that? Giving Maruki that kind of control? Potentially losing what made us what we are?”
Goro sighed. There had to be a way. There had to be a way to keep it all. He just needed to think but all he could do right now was feel.
Akira sighed and pulled back again. “We can take this upstairs. Sleep on it and give your answer first thing in the morning.”
Goro nodded. A plan was starting to form, but he needed to be sure. “Before we do, Maruki is the sort of person who would keep up his end of a deal right?”
“I believe so, yes.”
Goro nodded. That was the information he needed. Akira was right. He just needed to sleep on it.
“Let’s go upstairs then.” Goro reluctantly stepped away from Akira and started towards the stairs to the attic. He didn’t need to turn around to know that Akira was following him.
Once upstairs, Goro quickly took off his coat and shirt. He rifled through Akira’s clothes for a minute before finding the sleep shirt he was looking for. It was a well-worn Featherman shirt that he could tell Akira wore all the time. He pulled it over his head and instantly felt a little better. This was familiar. It made things a little easier. He turned to see Akira standing behind him with a smirk plastered on his face.
“Just make yourself at home I guess.”
“Just shut up and get changed.” Goro rolled his eyes and tried to let himself fall into the familiarity of the situation. Depending on how tomorrow went, this could be their last night together. He just wanted to lay in bed and have him close.
Akira grinned at him before following his instructions without further comment. Before long, they both climbed into the bed and Akira wasted no time before wrapping his arms around Goro and pulling him as close as possible.
“You can do this,” Akira whispered, his voice achingly soft.
“You said that back on Shido’s ship too.”
Akira chuckled softly. “And you did great then. You managed to get the rest of the thieves on your side and you did it. This should be easy in comparison.”
Goro wanted to argue. He wanted to find the words to explain why Akira was wrong . He had a chance to fix Akira’s mistake here. He could keep him alive. Akira’s fate was up to Goro and he couldn’t stand it. Instead of saying any of that, Goro shifted until he was fully facing Akira and stared at him for a moment. “I need you to say it again. Then we can go to sleep.”
“Say what?”
“The thing you said downstairs. About your feelings.” That you love me. God, Goro wished he could say it back. He wished he could just say everything that was bubbling up inside him, but he wasn’t there yet. At this rate, he wasn’t sure if he ever would be. But right now, he needed to hear it. He needed to be reminded that there was one person in this absolute hellscape of a reality that cared about him.
The look Akira gave Goro was painfully tender. “I love you, Goro Akechi. I love you so much. It doesn’t matter what you did or what you do in the future, nothing is going to change that.” Akira placed a soft kiss on Goro’s lips.
That was the final straw. Goro felt the tears that he’d been holding back all night finally come rushing out. He buried his face in Akira’s chest in an effort to hide his face. He knew he was soaking Akira’s shirt through, but honestly couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. “Thank you,” he sniffled. He wished he could say more. But Akira had to know what he meant.
Akira pulled Goro in just a little bit tighter. “Go to sleep now. You need your rest for tomorrow.”
Goro nodded, but kept his head resting against Akira’s chest. “Good night, Akira.”
“Good night, my love.”
The next morning, Goro woke up early. He was still wrapped in Akira’s arms and let himself snuggle into his warmth for a bit. He knew what he had to do. There was really no other choice that he could make. It was honestly insane that he had thought this was a hard choice in the first place.
He placed a soft kiss on Akira’s cheek. “Hey. I have to go somewhere this morning. As early as possible.”
Akira slowly blinked his eyes open and took a minute to process Goro’s words. “Yeah. Of course. Want me to make you some coffee first.”
Goro shook his head. “That can wait. I just have to go and do it.”
Akira nodded. “Yeah. Alright. Do you want me to come with you?”
“I’m going to do this alone. I’ll be back before long.”
Akira grabbed one of Goro’s hands and gave it a gentle squeeze. “It’s all gonna work out just fine.”
Goro nodded. “Of course it is. It’s the only thing I can do.” He leaned in for one last kiss before getting up out of bed. “If the others call or message, just make something up for me.”
“I thought lying was your thing?”
Goro smirked at him. “You’re just as good at it.”
Akira gave him a brilliant smile. “Get out of here and do what you have to do. Let me know if we’re meeting up here or at the palace.”
Goro nodded and swallowed past the lump in his throat. He felt like he was going to be sick, but he couldn’t let that slow him down. Not today. “Right.” He quickly pulled on his coat before heading towards the stairs. This was going to be a long day.
Once downstairs, Goro quickly put on his shoes and glanced over at Sojiro standing behind the counter. “I’ll be back soon. Make sure Akira gets some food in him when he gets up.”
Sojiro nodded. “Of course, kid. See you later.”
With that, Goro headed out of the cafe and towards the station. He boarded and prepared for a ride to a part of the city he rarely visited. He was headed towards Maruki’s apartment and hoped he would be there and not at the palace already. He needed to talk to him before doing anything else.
The ride went by relatively quickly despite the nervous energy coursing through Goro. When he got off at his stop, he did his best to channel that anxiety into anger. He needed the anger. He needed to remember why he hated Maruki for everything he had done to them. Everything he had done to Akira. This was Goro’s chance to finally say his piece. He was going to be able to tell the ‘doctor’ how he really felt about this fucked up reality.
As Goro approached the door to Maruki’s apartment, he noticed the door was already opened slightly.
“Come in, Akechi.” Maruki’s voice called from inside.
Of course he already knew Goro was coming here. Goro resisted the urge to scream at the obvious invasion of privacy. Maruki could know anything he wanted to know in this reality and there was nothing they could really do about it. While it helped in this one particular case, the idea was overall extremely frustrating.
Goro stormed into the apartment with a scowl on his face. “I suppose you already know why I’m here.”
Maruki gave a placating smile. “I’m just here to listen to you. I don’t know what you want to say, just that you wanted me to be here.”
“Ah, of course, just a mild invasion of privacy.” Goro nearly growled the words out.
“If I hadn’t checked, I would have already been waiting for you at the palace.” Maruki gave another one of his sheepish smiles and it made Goro’s blood boil. “Now then, what did you need from me?”
“I came to negotiate a deal.” Goro explained as calmly as he was able. “But first. . .” Goro quickly closed the distance between the two of them and slammed his fist into Maruki’s face. He smirked as he felt something give. Probably broke his nose. He pulled back and stared at his handiwork. There was blood pouring from Maruki’s nose and the sight felt insanely good. “I’ve been wanting to do this for so long.”
Maruki narrowed his eyes at Goro. “This is how you start a negotiation?”
“Oh spare me. We both know you care about Akira’s happiness or whatever too much to actually hold something as petty as this against me.”
“I care about your happiness as well, Akechi.”
Goro shook his head. “Unbelievable. You really never stop. You never stop and actually think about what you’re doing to people. What you’re taking from them. I shouldn’t even be entertaining the idea, but here I am. Just like you knew I would be.”
“There’s no reason to be ashamed of wanting to be happy.”
“And is any of this happiness you offer actually real? You strip people of who they are. Their memories. You make them fit your perfect little mold of happiness instead of considering the choices they’d make if they could.”
“I don’t expect you to understand, but I took out the time to really think about each case and how to best deal with their particular pain. It’s all better this way.”
“Even if you erase who they are? Even if you take away every memory that made them who they worked so hard to be?”
Maruki shook his head sadly. “So this is it. You’re actually going to fight me.”
Goro shook his head. “I think what you’ve done to the world is absolutely fucked, but as it turns out, I don’t give a fuck about the rest of the world. They turned their back on me a long fucking time ago. A world that deserves saving is not one that would let Akira die.”
Maruki perked up at his words. “Oh? Then why are you here?”
Goro gritted his teeth. “To make a new deal. One that works for both of us.”
Maruki gave him a thoughtful look before gesturing to his kitchen table. “Take a seat. I’ll make us some tea and we can talk.”
Goro gritted his teeth, but did as Maruki said. He knew Maruki would listen even if Goro didn’t play along here, but he figured he might as well take the time to collect his thoughts anyway. He needed to really think through his terms. He had known from the beginning he couldn’t return to their original reality. He just had to figure out a way to make this reality as good as possible for both him and Akira.
Maruki walked back over with two steaming mugs of tea and placed one in front of Goro. He took the seat opposite Goro with a soft smile on his face. “Now then, what did you have in mind?”
“For starters, I need you to know that I don’t agree with any of what you’re doing. I think you are a delusional asshole with a god-complex. What you’re doing is stripping people of their freedom and forcing them to live under what you consider to be their perfect reality. However, I think there’s a way we can both get what we want here.”
Maruki raised an eyebrow. “I’m listening.”
“All I really want is Akira, but I refuse to let either of us become one of your mindless puppets. I refuse to let you override my memories with whatever it is you want me to believe happened. I know what I’ve done and I own that.”
“And what others have done to you?”
“I own that too. I refuse to have my history and who I am erased by you for any reason.” Goro paused for a moment. “And I refuse to let you change Akira. I developed feelings for who he was as a person. I will not live with some watered down version of him. I want him to be with me. Flaws and trauma and all intact.”
Maruki furrowed his brow. “So what exactly are you proposing?”
“I will take your deal. I’ll let you completely take over and enact your ‘perfect’ reality. But in exchange, you will not exert your will over either me or Akira. We will keep our memories and history. We will know about the control you have over everything. We will have the freedom to make our own choices, even if those choices cause us pain. You are not to do anything about that.” Goro paused again. It really felt like he was making a deal with the devil here. “You are only allowed to interfere in things if we directly ask you to. We live our lives as normal in this reality.”
“Interesting terms. And the other thieves?”
A small pang of guilt pulsed through Goro. He knew what he had to do here. They earned their happiness. They would never understand why Goro had to take the deal. “You can do what you need to with them. They’ve earned a chance at something better.”
Maruki nodded. “I believe I can agree to that. But are you sure I can’t give you anything else?”
“I’m sure. I just want him. That’s the only reason I’m even considering this.” Goro paused to take a sip of his tea. “So what do you say? Akira and I get our freedom and you get the rest of reality.”
Maruki stared down at his mug for a moment before answering. “I can agree to that. I’m not sure how you’ll explain that to the others before my takeover is complete though.”
Goro shook his head. “I’ll deal with that myself.”
“If you want anything else, you have my number.”
Goro nodded. “And no spending time in our heads. If we need something, we will contact you.”
“Of course. I can make it so money will never be a problem of course.”
“I’ll think about that.” Goro nodded. He felt a little sick about what he was doing, but it was all worth it for a shot at a life with Akira. He knew Akira would forgive him. He knew he probably wouldn’t be upset about this in the first place. He stood up and glanced over at Maruki. “As long as you hold up your end of the deal, I think we’re done here.”
Maruki nodded. There was a soft smile on his face that made Goro feel the anger bubbling up again. He stamped it down. It wasn’t useful now. “I’m a man of my word, Akechi. We’ll shake on it and then you can be on your way.”
Goro shook Maruki’s hand and quickly turned to walk out the door. Before leaving, he quickly turned around with a smirk on his face. “You really should get your nose checked out.”
He walked out of the apartment before Maruki could answer.
On the ride back to Leblanc, Goro felt surprisingly light. Now that the hard part was out of the way, he could really think about what all of this meant. What it meant to have a future he could look forward to. He had never expected to make it this far. He had especially never expected to have someone to plan a future with, even in the scenarios where he survived. Now he had all the time in the world.
Goro walked into Leblanc with butterflies in his stomach. He was grateful to see that Akira was the only person in the cafe.
Akira greeted him with a soft smile. “Did you do what you had to?”
“Yeah. We’re not going to the palace.”
Akira gave him a slow nod. “I figured as much.”
“Do you hate me?”
“Never.”
“Are you mad or disappointed?”
Akira shook his head. “No. I can’t imagine what I’d do in your place Goro. Besides, even I had trouble with the idea of breaking the others out of this. After they had a taste of what could have been. I understand. But what about us?”
Goro smiled at him. “We get to keep it all. Nothing changes for us. Not really. We get our freedom and a future.”
“Good.” Akira closed the distance between them and kissed Goro. “I love you.”
Goro didn’t have the words. Not yet. He knew now that he had all the time he could ask for to find them. He deepened the kiss in an attempt to get how he felt across without the need for words. He knew Akira would understand for now.
Akira reluctantly pulled back. “Now let’s get you some coffee and figure out how we’re gonna deal with the others for now.”
The rest of the day was long and hard, but at least it would be easier tomorrow.
The next morning, Goro woke up wrapped in Akira’s arms once again. He breathed a sigh of relief as he realized that Maruki had indeed held up his end of the deal. He opened his phone to a message from the man.
Maruki: I hope this makes both of you as happy as you could possibly be.
Goro closed the message and turned to kiss Akira on the cheek. He chuckled at the way Akira blinked before his eyes fully opened. “Morning.”
“G’morning.” Akira yawned and glanced at the sun streaming in. “Is it done?”
Goro nodded. “Yeah. And we still remember.”
“Good.” Akira leaned over and softly brushed his lips against Goro’s. “You know we’re going to have to pretend around the others.”
“I thought we already established how good we both are at lying?”
Akira chuckled. “Of course.” He paused for a moment. “Are you ready?”
Goro nodded. “Yeah. We are going to have to move out of this attic. You know Morgana’s going to want to move back in and frankly, I’d rather you stay with me.”
Akira shuddered. “It’s going to take so long to get used to that. But yeah. I’d like that. Your place?”
“I was actually thinking of moving into a slightly larger apartment. A fresh start for both of us.” He didn’t want to ruin the moment by mentioning just how empty and awful his current apartment made him feel. He needed something new. Something that belonged to both of them.
Akira nodded. “We can figure out the details later. But for now let’s go get some breakfast.”
Goro agreed. This was a lot. He was finally letting himself have something he really wanted. I had been a long, hard road to get here, but it was done. Now he just had to let himself enjoy something for the first time in his life. “Yeah. And Akira, I. . . I care about you.”
Akira smiled at him before getting out of the bed. “I love you too.”