Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

yoongi rubs his left eye with the heel of his palm, then pulls his laptop a little closer to himself on the counter. the restaurant is stuffy and hot, the summer weather not letting up even for mid-september. a fan runs somewhere on yoongi's left, ruffling his hair as he works on a track. he lowers the screen when his mother calls his name, glancing once around the empty shop, then peeking through the kitchen doorway. 

“eomma,” he says, sort of scoldingly as he walks over to help her take something down from a high shelf. "you should have just asked me in first place. you're not supposed to exert yourself like this.” he steps up to the stool and grabs the unopened cardboard box, lowering it gently to the metal counter that runs through the center of their industrial kitchen. 

"i didn't want to disturb. you always work so hard for us, yoongi," she answers with a squeeze to yoongi's forearm as he uses scissors to open the box. he takes out the new napkins to refill the dispensers with a sigh. yoongi doesn't want to respond to her, so he simply shakes his head. he knows that no matter how much he tells her to tone down her workload, she won't listen to him or his father. that doesn't really stop them from trying, though. 

quietly, yoongi replaces the now half-empty box in its spot and carries the napkins back out to the counter, while his mother cleans the kitchen, which is the only hard work she’s been allowed to do. he collects the napkin dispensers from all the unoccupied tables, which just seems to be all but one now. he flickers his gaze to the side to study the lone man at the table, eyes hidden by a black bucket hat, shoulders hunched to look at the menu. he must have entered in the short amount of time yoongi went into the kitchen. 

yoongi settles at the register and places his laptop on the stool beside him, expertly beginning the napkin reloading. his parents have had this restaurant open for as long as he's known. yoongi's twenty-five now, and they're still running it. recently he managed to convince his parents to update some of their appliances thanks to some loans they took out at the bank, and he's been pushing jimin to help him find someone to change their website. too many people call and tell him that they can't access it, and yoongi's knowledge of technology extends only to production softwares, otherwise he’d fix it himself. 

when yoongi is halfway through the ten dispensers, the lone man approaches the counter to finally order. his shoulders are broad, flannel shirt unbuttoned over a black tank. he places the menu face up on the counter and yoongi catches a glimpse of tattoos, before the man tugs his sleeves over both hands. finally, yoongi looks up, and finds he's looking at someone who is probably more of a younger guy than a grown man. he doesn't look much older than twenty or twenty-one. 

his eyes are dark—big and shifty, exuding nothing but anxiety and fear. his mouth opens and closes, and yoongi quirks his eyebrow as he snaps the dispenser shut. "can i help you?" he asks as he pushes it off to join the others which are already filled. the guy’s mouth opens again, bottom lip shaking. only a squeak comes from the back of his throat. yoongi checks over his shoulder to see what his mother is doing, then moves his eyes to the left to check the clock. they close in fifteen minutes. this guy's timing is terrible. 

"look," yoongi says and turns towards the guy on the other side of the counter again. his hands are refilling the containers on their own. the guy's eyes are fixated on yoongi's movement, mouth shut again, eyeballs practically falling out of his head. "we close soon. if you're going to order, do so now. if you don't feel like talking, i have no problem reading off the menu if you point."

this guy, however, still looks completely clueless. yoongi leans on his forearms, narrows his eyes as he watches his adam's apple shift when he gulps. is he being too intimidating? maybe he should tone it down. it really is completely his own fault he's still working at his parent's restaurant. "are you okay?" he finally asks when he notices how glossy the guy's eyes are. 

after a minute of silence, of yoongi continuing to put the napkins inside the dispensers and waiting for this stranger to speak, he hears the softest question. "can you make lamb skewers?" the guy asks, voice unsteady, barely loud enough for yoongi to hear over the music playing in the kitchen. the guy's accent in a little off and unsure, but his words are enunciated and otherwise correct. his eyes are hopeful when yoongi looks up at him again. 

"um, yes?" yoongi chuckles a little, wondering if this guy had even looked at the menu. he points where they have spicy lamb skewers printed in both english and korean, then pulls his finger away when the guy’s eyes soften in realization. "is that all you want?"

the guy nods enthusiastically. "how many orders?" yoongi asks, and he holds up two fingers, then slowly adds a third. yoongi doesn't question it and rings it up on the register, pushing forward a stand with a table number. the guy pays with card and yoongi hands him a receipt, which he stares at for a minute before sitting at the same table. yoongi passes the order off to his mother, then finally finishes up with the napkins. 

while yoongi's mother makes lone guy's lamb skewers, yoongi takes a rag to the surfaces. he scrubs the tables and counters, wiping the sweat off his forehead when it begins the trickle down the side of his face. when the clock hits nine pm, yoongi locks the door and continues to clean. it's a sunday, but there was a slight influx of customers today, so he feels all worked through. he wonders if someone left them a good review somewhere, and reminds himself to check when he goes back up to the apartment. 

he’s still cleaning when his mother brings out lone guy’s three orders of lamb skewers. yoongi’s never seen a smile so big break out on someone’s face. he watches him shed his hat and flannel, right arm lined with tattoos, and then proceed to dig in. he has a small, concentrated frown on his face, practically inhaling the food. he’s finished eating all three orders by the time that yoongi is done cleaning, so maybe twenty minutes later. yoongi makes sure to unlock the door, then starts putting the chairs up onto the table. 

“um, excuse me?” lone guy asks while yoongi has paused to push his hair back with a headband. lone guy has his hand outstretched, back in his flannel and the hat that covers his big eyes. both hands retract and clasp behind his back, and yoongi now notices there’s a backpack over both his shoulders. “thank you. for the food. there’s not many good places here. my uh… friend, i think, tells me to come.”

“friend?” asks yoongi, lifting another chair to place upside down on the table. “can i ask who? i usually know the people who come through here.”

lone guy licks his lips. he looks hesitant. his voice is still quiet as a mouse, but there’s no music playing from the back anymore, so yoongi hears him clearly.

“kim namjoon?”

that sets off a couple of alarms in yoongi’s head—it makes a little more sense in his mind. lone guy must be from south korea, rather than being american like him. yoongi should have guessed it when he thought the accent that was a little off, but to be fair, he’s only ever had his parent’s accents to go off of. most other koreans he knows were born here or moved when they were really young. well, seokjin is the exception.

the other alarm is the mention of namjoon. yoongi hasn't properly spoken to him in a long while, several years now. they'd been close before yoongi went away, but have drifted ever since. he knows that namjoon played a big role in taking care of his parents and the restaurant while he was locked up, but yoongi never thanked him when he returned. he always felt shitty for it, but he's too bitter to initiate reaching out. hearing namjoon sent them a customer feels peculiar, even if it isn’t.

namjoon isn’t even remotely a bad person. he’s probably one of the most caring people yoongi knows—he’s always looking out for people in the neighborhood, watching over the environment, the smartest person in the room even if he doesn’t act like it. he was the one who pushed yoongi to work harder in school. yoongi never cared about some of the things namjoon did, but they always had music in common. listened to all the same artists, were drawn to the same genre of music. that’s what they bonded over. it’s just a shame that yoongi’s wounded pride stops him from fixing it.

"joonie sent you?” yoongi asks, laughing again as he wipes his face with the sleeve of his shirt. lone guy's mouth is in a curious downturn. “i haven't seen joonie in forever."

“i met namjoon at school.” lone guy gives a confused look. "you haven't seen your boy-friend in forever? but... you are so cute."

yoongi stops to look at him, dumbfounded. it's takes him a moment, maybe three moments, of staring at lone guy's troubled expression before it clicks. maybe he prolonged the silence for too long, because lone guy is mumbling to himself in jumbled korean, tugging on the back of his hair. but he's speaking so fast that yoongi barely understands, only catching him mutter, “dumb jeonggukie.” 

quickly, yoongi clears his throat to clarify. "hey," he says in korean and leans a little on the table beside him when lone guy looks at him with widened eyes. yoongi's cheeks are burning with embarrassment. "i... am not namjoon's boyfriend. that's my friend who also works here, but he isn't working right now."

"oh." realization floods lone guy's expression, face coloring pink. "oh. oh my god. i'm so sorry, really. you called him joonie, so i thought that—"

he stops speaking abruptly as yoongi laughs to himself at the idea of being compared to jimin. they might be the same height and build, have the same hair color, but they are completely different people. he can't even imagine dating namjoon, regardless of whatever untouched history they have. it's such a weird thought, and the fact that this guy mixed them up has him breaking into giggles. 

"sorry," yoongi says. he takes a deep breath, hiding his smile and hoping his hair covers his burning ears, even with it pulled back. "just, i can't see namjoon like that." he might subconsciously start calling him namjoon instead of joonie. he can't believe some stranger is making him self-conscious. 

lone guy gives a mellow nod. "so... you know namjoon-hyung then?"

yoongi involuntarily makes a face at the honorific, but doesn't comment on it. "sure," he offers and smiles wryly. "what do you think of him?"

"he's very nice. super interesting and cool.”

"yep. sounds like namjoon to me." yoongi nods his head, smiling a little as he shifts to the chairs at the next table. lone guy trails after him a little, maybe expecting him to say more, so yoongi introduces himself. “um, i’m yoongi. my parents own this restaurant. you’re not from here, i'm guessing.”

lone guy shakes his head and smiles a little wider, bunny teeth poking out. his eyes shine a little past the edge of his hat, twinkling like little fairy lights. yoongi is intrigued. “no, i'm not. are you from here?”

“yeah, born and raised.” yoongi finishes with the table and crosses his arms, looking lone guy up and down for a second. he glances away when the lights in the kitchen go off, and the door leading up to his and his parent’s apartment squeaks open. he looks back at lone guy and offers his most polite smile. “i'm fluent in korean, you know, if you're having trouble with english. i can continue speaking like this."

lone guy lets out a relieved breath and nods again, and yoongi finally finishes putting the chairs on the tables. all that's left is to lock up whatever cash they have from the day. "that's great," lone guy says. "my roommate only knows english. he’s really loud and annoying."

"american?" yoongi asks and lone guy nods solemnly. "yeah, most are like that."

"my name is jeongguk," lone guy says and sticks out his hand with a big smile now, no more fear or anxiety held in his expression. yoongi is relieved, too—he was worried there had been something intimidating about his appearance, even if jimin always tells him he’s too soft on the inside to be intimidating. yoongi vehemently denies this claim.

first wiping his hand on his pants, yoongi gives him a firm shake and smiles again. "it's nice to meet you, jeongguk," he says and pulls his hand away after, shoving both into his pocket. "if you're ever that hungry again, come by for lamb skewers. or anything else on the menu. and i'd recommend coming earlier in the day." yoongi laughs awkwardly and looks away for a moment. "we have a better chef then. my mom's great, but our head chef is much better."

jeongguk's bunny teeth show again and he nods, taking a step back towards the door. his hand now rests on the door knob. "okay, thank you yoongi-ssi."

yoongi wrinkles his nose in distaste and suggests, "what about just yoongi?"

"oh, no. i couldn't." jeongguk frowns a little and shakes his head. "how's hyung?"

"okay, fine." yoongi watches as jeongguk's face lights up, chin lifting enough that he can see everything, even beyond the bucket hat. the pretty eyes and all. "but if i find it too weird, then you have to stop, okay? deal?"

jeongguk gives him a thumbs up, then a wave. "thank you again," he calls while halfway out the door. "i'll definitely be back!"

shaking his head, yoongi locks the door after him and finishes cleaning up before retreating into his bedroom upstairs. he stretches out on his bed after a shower, scrolling through his phone with boredom. it’s frustrating when he’s tired, but can’t sleep—and it isn’t like there’s anyone to go hang out with at this hour. there’s always jimin, but sometimes he’s too energetic for yoongi to be around. yoongi sinks into his mattress with his phone face down on his chest, staring idly at the ceiling. 

he picks his phone up again and responds to the lingering text from jimin, then deposits his phone on his nightstand. he takes a couple of minutes to stare at the ceiling some more, then rolls onto his side with his blanket pulled over his body. yoongi sighs, curling his body up with his hands between his thighs, looking at the grooves in the wall he made as a child. he reaches out, trailing his fingers gently over them, then forces himself to shut his eyes. 

unprompted, yoongi’s mind drifts over to jeongguk. it’s not rare that they get local students as customers, but he’s still stuck on the fact that namjoon sent him, of all people. he wonders what namjoon was thinking when he recommended his family’s restaurant. in retrospect, namjoon has always done that, but there hasn’t been anyone other than jeongguk who has come in recently, saying namjoon sent them. before his brain can think up an excuse, he drifts off into a restless sleep. 

++

true to his word, jeongguk is back three days later, and this time, he isn't alone. well, neither is yoongi—jimin's working today. they have better shifts when their together. sure, sometimes yoongi's mother is a little harsh on them for bickering while they work, but it makes everything more bearable. jimin has been in the neighborhood since he was five, so yoongi was probably seven or eight when they became friends. and as much as he doesn’t act like it sometimes, yoongi really loves jimin. 

they're knee deep in an argument about how to set up the utensils station when the bell above the door rings. yoongi glances over his shoulder to check, and immediately tunes jimin out when he sees jeongguk staring up at the menu. his hair is pinned back by a couple of pretty clips, a black athletics bag slung across his chest. it takes a few seconds for yoongi to realize that he's sweaty, a big t-shirt and ripped blue jeans that expose his thighs. and wow, those are some nice thighs. 

behind him is a guy that’s also korean, but yoongi hasn’t seen him around before. he would definitely remember someone with hair as striking as that. he's talking jeongguk's ear off, who is laughing at everything he's saying. even from here, yoongi can tell that jeongguk’s friend is telling some elaborate story. jeongguk's eyes aren't focused on him though, skidding lazily over the menu, around the restaurant, then back up at the guy he's with. jimin elbows yoongi in the side and just barely snaps him out of his trance. 

"what's up with you," mutters jimin, then follows yoongi's line of sight to jeongguk and his friend. yoongi hasn't pulled his eyes away even if he's now conscious of jimin standing beside him. jimin laughs and shoulder bumps yoongi into looking his way, lifting his eyebrow after. "someone caught your eye, huh?”

"shut up. put the fucking disposable chopsticks in the box," yoongi replies and pushes jimin lightly towards the counter, about to go take jeongguk and his mysterious friend's order when his father steps up and does it for him. mildly disappointed, yoongi hangs back near jimin, pretending to refill the straw holder as he peeks over jimin’s head to get a better look at jeongguk and his friend. "mini, what are the chances a korean foreigner is also gay in someway or another?"

"um, low. there’s already you, me, and joonie.” jimin's eyes flick over to jeongguk and his friend now sitting at a corner table near the window with a number stand between them. jeongguk is fiddling with a piece of his hair, seemingly focused on in his conversation. he enthusiastically talks to his friend in korean, using hand gestures and facial expressions to exaggerate whatever he’s talking about. he's much cuter when yoongi can see his entire face. "wait, which one are you looking at? i'm all for the guy with blue hair. that's fuckin' cool."

yoongi presses his lips together. "no, the other one, with the butterfly clips and messy hair. his name's jeongguk. apparently your boyfriend sent him our way a couple days ago, which makes more sense now than it did on sunday,” he says and looks at jimin, sighing when he notices him distracted from his job too. yoongi continues filling the holders with disposable chopsticks. "how is he, anyway? you never bring him up anymore."

"that's because you always get weird when i talk about him."

"weird?" yoongi scoffs and acts nonchalant. "i don't get weird."

jimin rolls his eyes and pushes yoongi's shoulder lightly. "stop pretending," he says. "i know you. you get all weird and steely like you don't care about him."

"that's because i don't care."

"you do."

"i'm not having this conversation, jimin."

jimin huffs. "you're infuriating. i hate you."

"right," yoongi says sarcastically and unlocks the cabinet hiding the trash can when he notices it's full. he ties up the bag before the smell becomes too unbearable, then looks at jimin, unamused. "you still work here. so get working. i’ll fire you.”

“you can’t fire me!” jimin calls as yoongi walks down the hallway to the back of the building, shaking his head. 

he deposits the trash bag in the dumpster and washes his hands, then returns to the main area in the store. he helps around in the kitchen since they’re short an employee today. he does some dishes and hums along to the music, keeping an eye out for his mom so she isn’t doing anything she’s not supposed to. after finishing up with the dishes, seokjin calls him over to take out some orders to tables. yoongi dries his hands on a towel, then carefully carries the plates and bowls out to—must be his luck—jeongguk’s table.

adorably, jeongguk’s entire face lights up as yoongi sets down their food. yoongi guesses it has something to do with the food, because he immediately grabs the disposable chopsticks to begin eating. his friend narrows his eyes at yoongi when he lingers to collect some discarded napkins on the floor. yoongi stands and clears his throat, mustering a faint, “enjoy your meal,” in korean before skirting back to the register. jimin is standing beside him less than a minute later, oblivious to what just happened.

jimin sits on the stool, spinning a quarter on the counter. "hey, you think i should talk to blue haired dude or no?" jimin asks, looking at yoongi with a small scowl. 

"i mean, that's up to you?" yoongi chuckles softly and shrugs. "no harm done if you do. worse comes to worst, i need to go over there and translate for you."

"hey! i'm learning." jimin pauses and sighs, furrowing his eyebrows further. "kind of. and maybe he knows english. you don't know."

"i don't," yoongi agrees, sitting himself on the stool beside jimin. in the corner of his eye, he notices jeongguk watching them and consciously pushes some hair out of his face. when yoongi likes someone, it's sort of helpless in stopping it. he'll be lucky if they like him back, but at this point, he wears his heart on a sleeve with a sign that says come take me! in fat, bold lettering. 

eventually, jimin goes over to talk to jeongguk's friend during his break, and yoongi keeps himself occupied with work until he comes back. yoongi takes his own break after and leaves through the kitchen back door, sitting on the ground outside to smoke a cigarette. he waves briefly to carolyn the hairdresser doing the same, then brings his lighter to the cigarette between his lips. 

yoongi wasn't always a smoker, but that's what everyone says. smoking became a habit after he dropped out. he didn't mean for it to happen, the smoking, at least. but everyone around him was smoking cigarettes, and he picked it up too because he was desperate to fit in. when he and his real friends met up for the first time after, they could already smell it, but it was too hard to go back. the smoking just got worse when he went to jail, anyway.

he built up a shell when he was stuck in a shared cell. only some of the people he was around were in brutal crimes. he wanted to think he wasn't like most them, but he was. most of the people met weren't bad people—just people who had made poor mistakes, like him. the other inmates came from ambiguous backgrounds, but they had one thing in common with yoongi. they were all guilty of the crimes they were convicted of. 

yoongi's been out for years now, anyway, and the bad habit has followed him since. all he's done since then is hang out with his friends, work at the restaurant, and try to keep himself out of trouble. he wasn't away long enough that a lot had changed, other than the rift between he and his father. but yoongi tries to be civil so they don't have conflict. he knows his mother hates it. 

"yoongi?" he hears, quiet, like the voice is part of the warm breeze rubbing against yoongi's cheek. "oh, you are here. hello."

yoongi lowers his cigarette and turns away to blow out the smoke. when he lifts his chin, he has to squint to see jeongguk's face with the sunlight beaming from behind him. his nose is scrunched up and yoongi laughs a little, lifting the cigarette. "don't like them?" he asks in english and jeongguk shakes his head, sitting beside yoongi anyway, but a couple feet away. "did you eat well?"

"very well." jeongguk laughs and brings his knees lazily to his chest. "i asked namjoon about you."

intrigued, yoongi raises his eyebrows a little. "what'd he say?" he asks, pressing the butt of his cigarette into the concrete below him. he dusts his hands off and leans back to see jeongguk's face better with the overhang shadow. his skin is flushed pink, contrasting the dark moles, but yoongi can't figure out if it's the weather or if he's blushing. 

jeongguk pulls his knees tighter to his chest, resting his chin on top. "he says you are nice," jeongguk mumbles, chin tucking down into his chest, sounding shy. "but you do not speak to him a lot?"

"not anymore, no." yoongi looks down, smiles sadly at the ground, then a little brighter at jeongguk to his right. "did he say anything else?"

"you like boys?"

yoongi laughs out loud at that, nodding. "yeah, i guess so. i'm bisexual."

“i like boys, too.” jeongguk sounds excited about it, sitting up and pointing to himself. all his teeth are shining, some hair falling loosely into his face, which he quickly tucks behind his ear. his eyes are the brightest yoongi has ever seen. "he also tells me you are good guy? you are better person than you look to be."

"joonie and i aren't... on speaking terms," yoongi explains and jeongguk nods, still seeming puzzled. "he's actually dating jimin. the other one with the blonde hair that was talking to your friend?" jeongguk nods again, the confusion easing a little. "me, jimin, and joonie all grew up together. some shit happened and we don't talk anymore. but i guess he's a good guy too."

nodding, jeongguk repeats, "shit happened."

yoongi laughs softly, wiping some sweat off his brow, then his hand on his shirt. "i'm assuming you know that shit is not a very polite word."

"i know. i watched a lot of american tv before i came here."

"you here for school?" yoongi asks, because it's not the first time a native korean transfer student has come by their restaurant. after all, that's how they found their head chef, seokjin. jeongguk nods, scratching his chin, then pulling his legs tighter. he seems so shy for someone with such a tough appearance. "which university?"

jeongguk shakes his head. “community college," he says, then scrunches up his nose. "my parents hate it, you know?"

sympathetically, yoongi shakes his head and smiles. "no idea. i didn't even finish high school."

"what? really?"

"uh... yeah. i dropped out. like i said before, shit happened," yoongi says and pulls at a loose thread in his shoe laces. it's not something he likes to talk about. he switches to korean, figuring it'd be easier for jeongguk, even if his own vocabulary is pretty shit. "what are you studying?"

an expression of passion takes over jeongguk's face, one yoongi recognizes as one he's seen on jimin when he's talking about dance. he still has that glint in his eye even when he's complaining about his teachers. yoongi always tells him he should be grateful to be able to pursue what he wants to. jeongguk has that very look on his face, but a little softer around the edges. his mouth curls up into a small smile. 

"music," he says with restraint, voice wavering at the end of the sentence. he's watching for yoongi's reaction, so he offers an encouraging smile. jeongguk visibly relaxes, the rest of his body language matching his expression. "well, i'm a double major. music and computer science. it's a weird combination, but my parents wouldn't let me come here unless i did."

yoongi nods with understanding and gestures jeongguk to continue. "oh." jeongguk scratches behind his ear, tugging lightly at his earlobe. "uh, i moved here in the summer and that's when i met taehyung. he's from korea too, but he's studying fashion here."

"the guy with the blue hair?"

"yeah. i've only been here for a couple of months, but i like it. it's very different from korea, but not in a bad way," jeongguk explains and scoots closer when the sun starts to shine on his face. his features are overtaken by the shadows again, moving his bangs off his forehead with a swift motion. yoongi follows the movement with his eyes, then tries to refocus back on his face. "so, if you didn't go to high school, then what do you do?"

yoongi purses his lips for a second, then laughs. "well," he says and sighs, running his right hand through his hair. "it's complicated. and um... i don't know how much of a forward thinker you are." he shakes his head, then tugs at his roots. the words are coming out all wrong. "wait, no—"

jeongguk cuts him off with the most adorable giggle, his hand coming to rest of yoongi's bicep. he squeezes it lightly, a friendly act that still gives yoongi butterflies. "if it's easier, you can explain in english? i can understand well enough. i won't judge you. and you don't have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

sighing, yoongi thanks him and sits up more, bracing himself for the variety of responses he's gotten in the past. "i work here, at the restaurant," he says in english, glancing to his right to see if jeongguk is following along. he nods and smiles, so yoongi continues. "i've worked here since i was at least twelve, and my parents pay me and everything now. but when i was a teenager i got into a... bad situation.”

“bad situation?”

“yeah, i did some things i shouldn’t have,” yoongi clarifies and jeongguk makes an 'o' shape with his mouth, though his eyebrows are still furrowed. "yeah. so... that landed me in a not-so-great place. literally." he's still beating around the bush. how exactly do you tell someone who is basically a stranger that you were in jail for a year and a half, then on parole for another six months?

jeongguk narrows his eyes a little, looking yoongi's figure up and down. yoongi shifts under the protruding gaze, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "what... uh, place?" asks jeongguk, head cocked to the side. his hair falls with it, floppy and still messy. 

“county jail?” yoongi whispers, looking sideways at jeongguk to gauge his reaction. jeongguk's mouth shuts, lips pressing together for a second. he looks a little bewildered, then concerned, then a hint of fear. yoongi quickly adds, "i got out like, a long time ago. it’s nothing to worry about anymore. it was only one incident and—“

“it’s okay. i believe you.” jeongguk’s hand is still resting on yoongi’s arm, the same gentle smile from before making way back onto his face. “you don’t… seem like a bad person. namjoon also says this. i mean, that you sometimes look like you are a bad person. does that make sense?”

yoongi furrows his eyebrows. “um, kind of?”

“should i just speak in korean?”

“maybe.”

jeongguk laughs and nods, folding his hands in his lap. “what i’m trying to say is that you’re really nice. namjoon-hyung said you come across as someone who’s intimidating, or seems rude just from your exterior, but that you’re actually quite soft. jimin-ssi said something like this to taetae-hyung too, at least regarding that you’re not what your past makes you out to be. i’m guessing your history is known in the neighborhood?”

amused, yoongi lets out a soft laugh, a bit of a scoff. “yeah, it was known, i suppose. but it was a long time ago. i was eighteen and i’m twenty-five now.”

“you’re—what?”

“what?”

“you do not look twenty-five!”

yoongi laughs again, harder this time. when he checks his watch, he finds that his break is over. "well, i am," he says and pushes himself up, dusting off the back of his pants. he helps jeongguk up too, grunting and stumbling back a little from how heavy he is. jeongguk places his hands into the pockets of his jeans, watching yoongi closely, like he's still unconvinced about yoongi's age. "why? how old are you?"

"i just turned twenty-one. in international age." jeongguk grins proudly, nose scrunching up for a second. "we didn't do anything super crazy like americans do. tae-hyung gave me a bunch of soju and we got drunk in my apartment. it was fun."

surprised, yoongi nods a little. "honestly, i've never tried soju. i'm more of a whiskey person."

“really? you should try soju, there's so many different flavors now. i’m surprised you haven’t because your family sells it here.” yoongi shrugs a little—he just never bothered with it. quietly, jeongguk adds, "maybe with me, sometime?"

yoongi ducks his head, feeling his entire face start to burn. he doesn't even know if jeongguk means it in a date setting, but it sort of feeling like he's getting asked out right now. "sure," he ends up saying, leaning against the doorframe of the open kitchen door. "are you busy sunday night?"

"i shouldn't be."

nodding, yoongi pats his own pockets for his phone, and jeongguk does the same. they both come out empty handed, so yoongi takes jeongguk by the hand to drag him through the kitchen. he catches seokjin's suspecting eye before re-emerging in the front of the restaurant, scribbling his phone number down on a notepad. he rips the page off and puts it in jeongguk's hand, quickly letting go of the other one. he forgot he was even holding it. 

"um, text me," yoongi says softly as jeongguk moves back around the counter. "i think i get off at six on sunday.”

"okay. i'll see you on sunday, then," jeongguk says and smiles, returning to his table. yoongi watches him carefully place the piece of paper in his jean's back pocket, then gather his things with who he now knows is taehyung. jeongguk winks at yoongi before he leaves, sending heat over every inch of his body. 

licking his lips, yoongi turns away from the tables to smile to himself, then goes to the bathroom briefly to wash his hands. when he returns to the kitchen area to continue working, seokjin has a close eye on him, studying his every move. yoongi thinks nothing of it at first, but eventually it just becomes weird. he turns to seokjin with his arms crossed after he finishes putting away ingredients left lying around. "what?"

"who was that you pulled through my kitchen?"

"mind your business, hyung."

seokjin rolls his eyes and uses tongs to plate the beef he’s frying. “come on, that guy had you all red in the face, yoongi-ah. tell me who he is.”

yoongi pushes his sleeves up his arms, frowning at his tattoo for a second before beginning to load the dishwasher. “he’s just some guy i met,” he says quietly, shrugging. 

on yoongi’s left, jimin hops up to sit on the counter, swinging his legs. “what’re we talking about?” he asks in english, effectively breaking yoongi’s train of thought. jimin gets some of the dish soap bubbles on his hands, leaving them on yoongi’s nose. he watches yoongi and seokjin with anticipation. “what? what is it?”

“nothing,” yoongi says and wipes the bubbles off with the back of his hand, carefully placing plates in the correct spot. “why is everyone suddenly so interested in my business?”

“off!” seokjin slaps jimin’s knee with the towel over his shoulder, making both him and yoongi jolt. “you know rules! no sitting on counter!”

jimin slides off and grins, mumbling, “okay, okay. sorry hyung.”

seokjin just ruffles jimin’s hair, then shuts off the burner he was using. he sends the plate off with one of their servers. “yoongi has new friend,” seokjin says, and jimin has a knowing look in his eye. yoongi regrets saying anything to him about jeongguk. he ignores them both in favor of doing his job, otherwise he’ll get reeled into the talk of no one getting their work done. “you know anything jiminie?”

“i know yoongi thinks he’s cute.”

“never said that.”

jimin drapes himself over yoongi’s back, chin over his shoulder. “you don’t need to,” he sing-songs, then laughs with seokjin. yoongi only huffs, wondering if he’ll ever catch a break from jimin, but it’s been eighteen years, and somehow jimin is still around. apparently nothing he can do will scare jimin off, not that he’s really complaining. “i know you too well, yoongi. you had this stupid-ass smile on your face while watching him.”

yoongi reflexively elbows jimin in the ribs, but it doesn’t do much to get him off. “whatever.” then quieter, he adds, “i think we’re getting drinks on the weekend.”

“ooh, drinks!” jimin pokes yoongi in the stomach a few times, peeling himself off of yoongi’s back. “you got his number?”

“no, but i gave him mine.” yoongi grows shy about it quickly, unused to this feeling of excitement that’s growing around his stomach. it’s been a while since he’s met someone he actually likes. “i hope he texts me.”

suddenly, they both hear a, “yoongi-ah! jimin-ah! no talk, more work,” from yoongi’s dad in the kitchen doorway. 

in an easy sync, jimin calls out, “sorry mr. min!” while yoongi says, “sorry dad.”

“so drinks?”

“yeah.” yoongi shrugs and shakes out his wet hands into the sink, wiping them dry on a towel. he grabs the broom to sweep the restaurant sitting area. “it’s no big deal.”

“let me know if you need a wingman or something.”

“i don’t need a wingman. and if i did, it definitely wouldn’t be you.”

jimin sends him a middle finger, and yoongi sends one back quick enough before either of his parents could see. 

++

in a rush after getting off a little late from work, yoongi takes the quickest shower of his life and stumbles as he puts on his clothes, only slowing down to properly do his hair. he changes his earrings to something a little more flattering than studs, adds a single chain, then grabs his shoes on the way out of the door. he reaches the bottom of the staircase and pulls them off, quickly tying the laces. 

he’s not late, but he might as well be because jimin is going with him. yoongi asked jeongguk if taehyung would join them too, and then impulsively suggested he bring jimin. jeongguk was luckily impervious to this through text, and agreed that it was a good idea.

jimin is terrible at being on time. he used to run out of his parent's apartment five minutes before class started, starting from middle school. yoongi remembers it all so distinctly, because he’s still constantly having to cover for him when he’s late for his shifts. it’s a problem that everyone bugs him about, but jimin makes zero effort to fix.

yoongi pushes open the door leading into the restaurant, calling out a brief goodbye to his parents before he’s out the backdoor. he scans the parking lot and climbs into the passenger seat of jimin’s parked car, exhaling in relief. he buckles and asks, “how far’s the address?”

“uh… it’s like, ten minutes? still in the neighborhood. not sure where else you would get soju other than in koreatown,” jimin says and maps it out on his phone, sliding it into the cup holder. yoongi adjusts his seat, getting the vague idea that namjoon was previously sitting here by how far back it is. he tunes the radio to a hip-hop station, then waits for jimin to leave the parking lot. “okay, it’s a korean barbecue restaurant. and it looks expensive.”

“i shouldn’t have let him pick where,” yoongi mumbles and shakes his head. he sits up a little, peering over at jimin’s phone to see him looking at the menu. “let’s just go. worst thing that happens is we have to order the cheapest things on the menu.”

jimin huffs quietly. “not that it’d be any better than our food,” he says as he backs out of the parking spot, shifting the gear into drive to leave the parking lot. 

yoongi narrows his eyes. “it’s not even my restaurant, let alone ours. you’re just a server, anyway,” he says and flicks jimin on the side of his head, looking out of the windshield. 

it’s surprisingly busy for a sunday night, but yoongi’s too out of touch with the community to really know if this is normal or not. they pass other restaurants and bars with crowded entrances, seemingly all korean. most are on the young couple side, and a few tourists catch his eye too. he’s nervous for some reason—he kind of doesn’t want jeongguk to be disappointed about meeting him properly. 

before he knows it, they’re parked in front of the restaurant. there’s a small crowd of people waiting outside, but yoongi can already see taehyung’s bright hair through the window. he climbs out of the car and fixes his hair in the reflection of jimin’s car, following him inside after. his eyes dart around the restaurant as jimin drags him to the table, taking in their surroundings. he notes the bathroom. this place is definitely busier and fancier than his parent’s restaurant. 

“hi yoongi-hyung!” jeongguk says when they reach the table, voice gentle, but nonetheless excited. yoongi smiles a little and sits across from him, jimin to his left. jeongguk puts his hand on taehyung’s shoulder, who looks up from his phone. “this is kim taehyung.”

taehyung smiles, the middle of his upper lip dipping down when he does. “you can just call me tae, if you want,” he says in english, perfect accent, which throws yoongi off for a second. apparently that must show on his face, because taehyung continues with a laugh. “i grew up between new york and seoul, so i’m pretty fluent in both english and korean.”

yoongi gives a small nod, clearing his throat a little, looking down at the menu on the table. he blanks for a second, then looks up again to say, “jeongguk, this is my friend jimin, by the way.”

“oh.” jeongguk breaks into a pretty smile, waving a little with one hand. jimin looks so endeared, waving back a little, then shooting yoongi a sideways looks. it reads as he really is cute, don’t you think so? but yoongi decidedly ignores him. “it’s nice to meet you. my name is jeongguk.”

yoongi returns to the menu, wincing at the prices the more he looks through. there’s no way he or jimin can afford to actually get barbecue—he might be able to get by with some side dishes, but otherwise everything is expensive. even the soju has a higher price tag than the one that his family sells, but that might have something more to do with the nicer brand. seriously, why did he let jeongguk and taehyung choose the restaurant? yoongi could have picked somewhere good and somewhere he could afford. 

after a couple of minutes of silence because everyone’s still deciding, yoongi leans over and asks jimin, “what are you getting?” right into his ear so the other two don’t hear him. 

“japchae, maybe.” jimin pauses and frowns at the menu, the tips of his fingers gliding over the lamination. “water or soda since i’m driving. you?”

sighing, yoongi glances down at the menu in jimin’s hands. “can you afford that?” he asks and jimin pulls a face, nose scrunching up in obvious annoyance. “we make the same amount of money, and you’re telling me you can afford like, twenty dollars worth of japchae? you know that’s overpriced, mini.”

“god. i hate when you’re right.” jimin huffs and looks at the menu, yoongi’s face butting in to look too. “okay, the kimchi stew isn’t too overpriced.”

“i guess…”

“jesus, yoongi. what, do you want me to get a bowl of fucking rice and call it a night?”

on the brink of probably starting yet another argument, they both look up when taehyung says, “i can hear you two bickering from here. order whatever you want, okay? i’ll pay.”

yoongi widens his eyes. “are you kidding? you’re a college student, i’m not letting you pay for this,” he says immediately, because he knows better than to just accept if someone offers him a free meal.

“no, really, i insist,” taehyung says, leaning against the table a little, elbows propped on the edge. jeongguk is in his own little world, humming softly as he flips the menu over and back, trying to decide what he wants. yoongi gets distracted by watching him for a moment, then scowls at taehyung, who then just sulks. “please, okay? i have a lot of money that i don’t know what to do with, and i didn’t think through picking this place, so please just let me pay. i’m literally begging you.”

“hyung, don’t beg,” jeongguk says offhandedly in korean, and jimin’s eyebrows shoot up in confusion. yoongi makes no effort to translate for him, even if he knows that jimin would want him to. jeongguk looks up from the menu, teasingly smiling towards taehyung. “that’s the translation, right? isn’t it kind of rude to beg them to let you pay? maybe we should take them somewhere else.”

“i can understand you, you know,” yoongi interjects in korean and he watches at red crawls up to jeongguk’s ears. in the corner of his eye, jimin’s shoulders fall forward as he pouts. yoongi gently pats his knee under the table, and lets jimin hold his hand when he grabs onto it. “i’d be more comfortable going somewhere else, but um… if you’re that insistent on paying anyway, then i guess i’m fine with it.” 

he licks his lips and turns to jimin, squeezes his fingers to get his attention. “hey, do you want to go somewhere else? i think taehyung’s gonna end up paying regardless.”

"whatever, don't care that much. just please don't be speaking korean all night, i'll go crazy."

"your fault you never picked it up."

"your fault for never speaking it around me! i used to be fluent!"

yoongi shrugs and looks at the menu, then taehyung and jeongguk across the table. "i guess we're cool with you paying. i feel bad, but it doesn't look like you'll take no for an answer."

jeongguk shakes his head and laughs, the corners of his eyes crinkling up. his laugh is so contagious that yoongi can't help it when the corners of his mouth pull itself into a smile. "taehyung is... wait. how do you say..." he frowns and grumbles to himself, taking out his phone. they sit in relative silence for a few seconds until jeongguk says, "persistent! taehyung is persistent."

"oh my god," jimin mutters under his breath, hands clenching around yoongi's. "yoongi, he's cute cute. you better ask him out."

"shut up," yoongi hisses back, pulling his hand away to finally pick what he wants. 

he does end up getting kimchi stew because it's relatively cheaper than the rest, and jimin indulges in the japchae like he initially wanted. taehyung and jeongguk both give their orders, the former also asking for two bottles of soju. everyone's quiet at first, awkward tension building, until taehyung finally breaks the ice again. 

"jimin, you studied dance, right?"

and that sets jimin off in a whirlwind about dance, his mouth unstoppable. yoongi listens for a bit before he starts to zone out, scooting his chair closer to the table, careful he doesn't knock knees with jeongguk. he sits with his hands in his lap, allowing his gaze to drift over to jeongguk. 

jeongguk's hair is neatly parted down the middle, looking soft and fluffy, bangs curling a little at the end. he's dressed casually even if the restaurant is a little upscale, a big hoodie from what yoongi can tell. his eyes are unfocused, bouncing between jimin and taehyung, expression somewhere between confused and understanding. yoongi figures he's trying to follow the conversation. 

a waiter comes and brings them their two bottles of soju and jeongguk looks at them excitedly, big eyes growing even bigger. yoongi presses his hand over his chest when he feels his heart clench for a moment, maybe just at the fact that jeongguk is so cute, okay, he'll outright admit it. jeongguk is really cute and it's driving him on the border of insane. 

everyone shows their ids to the waiter, even though taehyung and jimin both say they won't be drinking. yoongi watches jeongguk pour out both shot glasses, then slide one across the table. "um... you can drink it like a shot," he says and yoongi nods, picking it up and sniffing the alcohol suspiciously. "or sip it. i won't be mad if you sip it."

yoongi sits up and squares his shoulders, almost taking it like a challenge. "it's fine, i can do this," yoongi says and jeongguk grins, giggling quietly. 

their little shot glasses clink together and yoongi downs his shot in one go, smacking his lips after. there's a lingering flavor of peach, and he tilts his head to the side when the aftertaste hits him. but it's nothing like the strength of drinking vodka straight or hard liquor, so he only shrugs. "it's nice," he says and sets his glass down again, wiping the corners of his mouth with his thumb. “what’s the alcohol content in this?”

jeongguk picks up the bottle and brings it close to his face, lip between his teeth. “twenty-four percent,” he says and refills both their glasses. yoongi only takes a sip of his own, watching in mild astonishment as jeongguk throws back his second shot already. jeongguk wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, then licks his lips, now shiny with his spit. yoongi does his best to not stare. “don’t worry. the drinking age at home is lower than here, so i’m used to it.”

“right,” yoongi says with a laugh, glancing at jimin, who is deep into his conversation with taehyung. they both look so absorbed in it, well, whatever it is. yoongi can’t tell with their vague words, so he turns his attention back to jeongguk. he’s not really sure what to say, so he settles for small talk. “so… how’s school going?”

“seriously?” jeongguk’s shoulders sag a little, looking disappointed. “you’re gonna ask me about school?”

yoongi has to stop himself from smiling, biting the inside of his cheek. “okay, then, music.” instantly, jeongguk’s eyes get a little brighter. yoongi can tell that this really is a passion for him. “what kind of music do you like?”

“oh, that’s hard, what,” jeongguk says and pouts, propping his elbow up on the table with a thinking face on. “huh. i guess mostly popular stuff. both western and k-pop. some hip-hop, but i wouldn’t say i’m super proficient in it. if i like something i hear, i’ll save it and maybe come back to it later. sometimes i don’t.” he shifts his eyes back to yoongi, laughing shyly and tucking his bangs behind his ear. “i can’t put a name to it, honestly. i’m open to everything.”

“i’ve never met someone else like that,” yoongi says, and almost wants to reach for his phone and show jeongguk all his playlists; almost wants to explain the meaning behind each one, what type of songs he added, why he added them. “most people i know just listen to what’s on the radio. like jimin.” yoongi half expects that that jimin will turn and make a comment, but he’s still engulfed in his conversation. “most people have a fixed idea about what music is supposed to sound like. i mean—“ yoongi stops and bites his lip, trying to gather his thoughts. it’s not helping that he’s thinking in english, god, he’s having to translate all his thoughts into korean. 

yoongi takes a deep breath when he finds something coherent enough. “take me, for example. i know you just met me, but i grew up playing the piano and listening to it. i’m all for that. i love the piano. but when i put in my headphones, i’m not going to go straight for piano sonatas. there’s nothing wrong with them, i do love that music, but my go-to is probably rap. it has been since i was in middle school, you know, and i think people box themselves into the genre they grew up listening to.”

enthusiastically, jeongguk nods, and yoongi drinks the rest of his soju in the meantime. “i think i get what you're saying," jeongguk says, rubbing his chin for a moment. he refills yoongi’s glass, then his own. “there aren’t a lot of people who are open to listening to different types of music. like you said, they box themselves in. but music is also about comfort, right?” yoongi nods. “wouldn’t people want to stick to what they know they like, or what they know comforts them?”

"i think it depends on the listener," yoongi says, sipping on his soju, scooting his chair a little closer. he runs his hand through his hair, licking his lips again. "something i think about a lot is whether people listen to happy music when their sad, or if they listen to sad music when they're sad."

jeongguk furrows his eyebrows. "doesn't everyone listen to happy music?"

"i don't." yoongi shrugs and cracks a smile, moving his elbows off the table when the waiter brings their food. he hadn't even noticed how much time had already passed. "when i'm sad, i mean. i turn to things i can relate to, rather than something to cheer me up. if i want cheering up, i go to jimin." 

jeongguk laughs and nods, picking up a pair of metal chopsticks from the center of the table. there's a brief lull in the conversation as everyone gets their food situated, side dishes spread out between everyone. well, really, the conversations shift to between yoongi and taehyung, and jimin and jeongguk. besides, it gives a better opportunity to watch jeongguk while he eats. 

it's adorable, really, how he eats with such concentration. his eyebrows are pinched together in a frown, lowly humming with his eyes shut each time a lettuce wrap goes into his mouth. yoongi nearly spills stew all over himself while watching him because wasn't paying attention to where his spoon was going. jimin notices, laughs at him, then tells him to just take another shot. 

yoongi doesn't mean to have a lot, but after they've all finished eating, he and jeongguk get carried away with drinks. he's probably a couple of bottles deep when he decides to cut himself off, politely declining the drink that jeongguk tries to give him. he looks troubled by it, pressing his lips together, and only transfers the liquid into his own glass. a couple minutes later, yoongi can feel himself drifting off in his chair, only to get woken up abruptly by jimin pulling him out. 

“okay, let’s go. i told joonie i’d be home by nine,” jimin says and yoongi nods, rubbing his eyes a little. he finishes a glass of water that jimin hands him, waiting for taehyung and jeongguk to join them on the sidewalk outside the restaurant. 

yoongi leans against jimin to keep himself upright, hand gripping the side of his hoodie—it seems like jeongguk is in a similar situation with taehyung, but it looks like more a struggle with jeongguk’s body proportions. “well,” taehyung says in english and laughs, nodding towards jimin. “text me, okay? i want to meet that boyfriend of yours. what’s his name again?”

“namjoon.” yoongi suppresses a scoff. “i think jeongguk knows him.”

suddenly, jeongguk jerks his head up from taehyung’s shoulder. his eyes zero in on jimin, and his mouth opens for a couple of seconds before he says, “so you’re namjoon’s boy-friend," and yoongi feels his entire face burning with the memory of how he and jeongguk met a few days ago. “when i meet yoongi, i thought that was actually him.”

“you thought yoongi was namjoon’s boyfriend?” jimin asks, jaw dropping as jeongguk nods in confirmation. he elbows yoongi in the side, eyebrows shot up when they make eye contact. yoongi promptly looks away, much more interested in leaving and saving himself from this embarrassment. “how interesting.”

jeongguk cocks his head to the side, then just laughs. "i'm glad he is not," he says, reaching out and poking yoongi's cheek. taehyung grabs his hand, muttering to him in korean about being respectful. "would make pretty boyfriend for me," jeongguk slurs in korean, quiet, and yoongi's skin tingles with heat. at least he knows that jeongguk is interested in him if he attempts to make a move. 

"we'll see you later—jeongguk, let's go," taehyung says and drags jeongguk away, waving to yoongi and jimin. 

quietly, yoongi helps himself into the passenger seat of jimin's car, taking out his phone to see if he has any missed messages. he responds to one from his sister and locks his phone when jimin climbs into the driver's seat. "okay, what was that all about?" he asks, pushing roughly on yoongi's shoulder. "when the hell did jeongguk think you were dating joonie?"

drunk, yoongi simply slumps back against the back of his seat and says, “when we met.”

“and what exactly happened when you met?”

“jesus, why are you so interested, mini?” 

jimin slaps his arm, and yoongi rubs the spot protectively. "because i want to know what was said about my boyfriend."

yoongi groans and shrugs, sliding back in his seat. "nothing was said about your stupid boyfriend, jimin," he says snappishly, watching jimin flinch and shrink in his seat. "i was working closing and he thought i was you because i called him joonie, okay?"

there's a silence that fills the car, yoongi breathing heavily after his outburst. jimin silently turns over the engine, hands tight around the steering wheel. guilty, yoongi leans over console and rests the side of his head on jimin's arm. "i'm sorry for yelling. i'm drunk and tired, which is not an excuse. i shouldn't have yelled. joonie's not stupid, either."

"you still call him that?" jimin asks, his voice trembling. he pauses and sniffles. "you still care."

yoongi sighs and turns his head away, blinking slow at the space between the console and the driver's seat. "of course i do," he murmurs and laughs easily, throat suddenly feeling dry. "never stopped. but every time i think about what happened between us, i just get pissed off all over again."

"yoongi." jimin sighs. "it's literally been eight years."

"i know," yoongi whispers and pulls away, furrowing his eyebrows as he stares out the window. he wipes his eyes before he can start crying. "just—can we get some ice cream before you take me home?"

jimin chuckles softly and rubs the back of yoongi's head like he's a cat. "sure. you want me to stay over too?"

as much as yoongi would love for jimin to sleep over, he knows better and just says, "it's fine, i don't want—"

"to take me away from joonie? he can survive one night without me, you know."

yoongi cracks the faintest of smiles. "are you sure?"

"i'm taking this as you want me to sleep over. which, fun, old times sake!"

"just drive, mini." 

++

the sun shines unforgivably bright and hot for an early october afternoon. the ball feels small between yoongi's palms, the way it always has, and he sends it flying towards the hoop. there's no swish as the ball falls past the rim and dribbles away, the court's nets having been long gone since yoongi was a child. he turns away and sticks both middle fingers up at his opponent. 

"you still suck," yoongi declares as he drops his hands, watching kabir jog and grab the ball from where it's resting on the edge of the field. there's a little league soccer team's practice happening, but that's one sport yoongi could never get into. kabir returns, pushing his sweaty black hair off his forehead. "seriously. it's like you agree to do these things with me to boost my ego."

"it's still only because you're taller than me, yoongi," kabir says and bounces the ball a couple of times. "break? alex looks bored."

yoongi turns his head and squints at alex perched idly on the bench and nods in agreement when he notices her disinterested expression. he lifts the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face, sitting on the table with his shoes on the bench. "you two losers done having a testosterone battle?" alex asks, adjusting the bracelets on her wrist.

"i'm not sure if i'm supposed to be offended or not," kabir says and puts the basketball inside his bag, passes yoongi a plastic water bottle before sitting beside her. "since when did i fall under the loser category?"

"since seventh grade, probably,” yoongi mutters and laughs, unscrewing the cap of the bottle to have long sips. he gulps down half the bottle and places it on his right, resting his elbows in his knees. "what time is it? i told my mom i'd get groceries from the korean market by seven."

alex checks her watch for a moment, then tucks her long hair behind her ear. "still only four, you got a bunch of time." she sits back and groans, arms flinging into the air. yoongi shakes out the roots of his hair with his fingers. "is this seriously how i'm spending my tuesday afternoon off? watching you two battle it out over basketball?"

"hey, we always offer for you to play, but you never join," yoongi says and finishes the water in the bottle, crushing the plastic between his hands. "that's on you."

"i'm bad at basketball," alex says snd pouts, punching yoongi in the thigh. he rubs the spot with his nose scrunched in mild pain. all these years and she still packs ones of the strongest punches he's ever felt. "can we get food or something? i'm hungry."

yoongi takes his phone out of kabir's bag and unlocks it, responding to a message from his sister before looking at the map of the area around the park. "there's not much around here. if you find a place and volunteer to drive, then i'm down for anything. i'm not that hungry, but i'll treat."

"says the broke one who still lives with his parents," kabir says as he zips up his bag, holding his phone in one hand. "are you sure you can afford that?"

"first of all, fuck you. and second of all, let me rephrase—i'll treat to somewhere reasonable."

alex nudges yoongi's knee with her elbow and nods vaguely in front of her. “hey, you guys see that dude on the other side of the courts? waaay back on the bench, dressed in all black?" yoongi squints to see the figure she's talking about, then nods. "he's been staring at us for like, fifteen minutes. it's getting weird."

curious, yoongi scoots down to sit beside alex, leaning closer to look and lets his face relax. "oh. i know him, that's why," he says and rubs the back of his neck consciously. 

it's been a little while since he's last seen jeongguk, but the park is the last place yoongi thought they would run into each other again. or, rather, find jeongguk staring at him while he played basketball. they’ve texted here and there, but not consistent enough for it mean much more than sharing tidbits about their day. and he knows jeongguk likes to use emoticons. "foreign korean kid who came into the restaurant a couple weeks ago,” he says. “we went out for dinner and drinks."

"dude? aren't you literally korean?"

without hesitation, yoongi reaches over and smacks the back of kabir's head. "yeah, and? i was born in hollywood not south korea, you fucking idiot. it's like how you were born in illinois or wherever the fuck. seriously, are you sure that you’re the one who graduated high school?”

alex leans back and says, "dinner and drinks sounds like a date to me," to disregard anything that kabir said. 

"not really." yoongi shrugs and rubs the back of his head, recalling their night. "mini was there and jeongguk brought his friend too. i think it could have been like a date, but i panicked and turned it into a friends thing.”

"you like him?"

"sure."

kabir rolls his eyes. "not vague at all."

alex pushes yoongi's shoulder forward. "go talk to him. we'll choose somewhere to eat while you're gone."

and yoongi doesn't really feel like one to deny a chance to talk to jeongguk, so he simply nods and pushes himself up. he crosses the courts and tosses the bottle in a recycling bin along the way, narrowly missing a stray basketball that goes over his head. 

as yoongi gets closer, he can make out more of jeongguk's appearance. he's dressed in all black like alex said, his eyes blown wide as he sits on a bench, gazing up at the trees. there's something in his lap that yoongi eventually makes out to be a dslr camera, feeling even more intrigued. when he gets close enough, jeongguk notices him and waves, so yoongi waves back awkwardly. 

"hello hyung!" jeongguk chirps with a bright smile as yoongi drops into the empty spot next to him. he's still unused to the honorific, but he sort of likes how it sounds coming out of jeongguk's mouth, so he might just let him keep calling him that. "i was watching you and your friend play. you're quite good."

yoongi laughs and shakes his head, shifting to pocket his phone into his shorts. "thanks, but it's only because my friend is terrible at playing,” he says and jeongguk laughs too, shifting his body towards yoongi. his hands curl around the camera in his lap, thumb rubbing over the shutter button. yoongi taps his index finger against the side of the lens. "i didn't know you take pictures."

"oh." jeongguk laughs again, more embarrassedly. he reaches up and tucks some hair behind his ear, going back to holding the device so gently. "it's one of the classes i'm taking. i thought the park would be a nice spot to capture something for one of my assignments. would you like to see?"

"okay. only if you want to show me. it's your art, so—"

"no, no. i want to show it." jeongguk smiles big again and yoongi's chest seizes up before he nods, peering down at the camera screen when jeongguk lifts it for him to see. 

at first, jeongguk just clicks through basic looking plant shots, which he quickly mutters that he didn't take, then the photos are black and white. yoongi furrows his eyebrows as he shows him the pictures, just trying to decipher what each abstract photo represents. the angle of children's shoes on the court, two pairs of fingertips against the pavement, an old couple walking, then alex sitting by herself on the bench. 

jeongguk sits quietly as he shares this with yoongi, like he's afraid of a negative reaction. it's already the second time he's done something like that, seeming hesitant about talking about a subject that is so obviously dear to him. and yoongi doesn't like passing out compliments, and he's certainly not proficient enough in photography to have a professional opinion, but he's sort of in awe of how jeongguk views the world through his camera. 

"these are amazing, jeongguk. really," he says and smiles a little when jeongguk looks surprised. "can you send me that one later, the girl on the bench? it's my friend alex, she's an artist. she would love it."

jeongguk nods rapidly. "yeah, yeah. of course. i'll do it when i get home," he says and shifts his feet closer to yoongi's, the tips of his boots pressed against the sides of yoongi's jordans. yoongi watches him fiddle with some settings on the camera, then remove the strap from around his neck. he presses a button and lifts the camera in the air, snapping a couple of photos. he tilts the screen to show yoongi after putting the strap around his neck again.

"'s cool," yoongi murmurs in english at the sight of the photo, looking up to see jeongguk beaming with pride. and oh god, it's bad for his heart, how cute jeongguk is. the way his overbite shines, the way his nose scrunches up, the way it looks like he's practically glowing in the afternoon sunlight. "send me that too."

"okay. i will."

there's quietness between them. jeongguk shifts his feet again, but not away, just closer. he has ever so slightly scooted nearer to yoongi, knees knocking together. "hey, jeongguk, can i—"

he's cut of by someone loudly sighing in relief, then saying, "sorry jeongguk, that line was long as hell. here's your drink.” yoongi shifts away, lifting his eyes to see who it is.

standing in front of them is a man who notices yoongi's presence just after he hands jeongguk a cup of something hot. he's korean, yoongi can just tell this sort of thing after working in his parent's restaurant for so long. his hair is light brown, soft looking like jeongguk's, styled in a similar way too. he breaks into a smile and sticks out his free hand for a shake. 

"hi, i didn't mean to interrupt. i'm hoseok, but just call me hobi," he says in perfect english, though faintly accented, and yoongi shakes his hand politely. he's definitely korean. 

"yoongi," he says and drops his hand back into his lap, scratching the back of his ear. maybe he read this wrong if jeongguk's here with someone else. "i'm definitely the one interrupting something."

hoseok suddenly widens his eyes and shakes his head, the ice in his coffee sloshing against the side of the cup. "oh no, no. we're not here like that at all. just accompanying jeonggukie here to the park in this beautiful day." his eyes flit between yoongi and jeongguk. "i'm gonna step away, okay? let me know when you're done."

"thank you, hyuung,” jeongguk says in korean, a cutesy tone to his voice. hoseok pinches his cheek gently before crossing to the other end of the pathway, well out of earshot. unnecessary, but at least yoongi and jeongguk get their privacy again. jeongguk turns his body towards yoongi once more, looking nervous and expectant. "you were saying something." he lifts his cup to his lips for a sip.

quickly, yoongi clears his throat and tries to gather his confidence again. he takes a deep breath and cracks his knuckles nervously, searching for the right words. yoongi doesn't expect it when jeongguk places his hand over his interlaced fingers and squeezes them lightly in reassurance. his soft smile says it all: take your time. i'm not going anywhere.

"do you want to go out?" he finally manages to ask, and jeongguk's eyebrows twitch before one curls into a raise. yoongi tightens both his hands around jeongguk's and scoots closer, afraid of him misunderstanding. he clears his throat and tries to smile. "i mean, with me—do you want to go on a date with me, is what i'm trying to ask."

slowly, jeongguk's smile changes. it grows and grows into something that feels like shyness and happiness, his other hand joining the rest of their hands in yoongi's lap after he sets down his drink. "i would love to go on a date with you, yoongi-hyung," he says and yoongi's mouth pulls up in an involuntary smile, nodding in relief. "when are you free?"

"friday. or saturday." yoongi shifts and he tries to think of something low-key they can do, nothing that'll make him too nervous. "we can, um, go watch a movie or something. if that's something you like."

jeongguk nods excitedly. his hands are still clutched around yoongi's, and yoongi glances down to see his tattoos finally. he doesn't want to appear as weird for staring, so he just looks up at jeongguk again. "you can pick the movie?" he suggests and jeongguk nods again, still grinning. 

"friday night is good for me."

"okay," yoongi says and pulls away to take out his phone, gesturing for jeongguk to look too. he comes closer to yoongi's face, a scent of coffee and vanilla lingering on him. 

jeongguk makes a soft humming sound as yoongi scrolls through movies, occasionally glancing up to see his expression. "stop?" he asks in english, so yoongi stops scrolling and readjusts so they can see all the times for the movie he chose. "hm... eight pm works good for me."

"me too," yoongi agrees and presses the eight o'clock time, purchasing two tickets to see the film. 

when he looks back at jeongguk, he's smiling so widely again. yoongi feels his entire face heat up, pushing himself off the bench. his phone buzzes in his hand, but he doesn't look away from jeongguk to check it. "so... i'll see you on friday," he says softly, and jeongguk nods again while standing. 

"see you friday," jeongguk repeats, just as yoongi is about to leave, he's pulled back into a cheek kiss. jeongguk lets go of yoongi’s arm and adjusts his camera resting around his neck. "i'll meet you outside your parent's restaurant at seven-thirty."

"o-okay," yoongi chokes out, absently waving back at jeongguk after he walks back towards his friend. 

after he crosses the court again, he doesn't say anything to alex and kabir, but they tease him endlessly for how badly he's blushing. yoongi's not sure how he'll survive a night alone with jeongguk if this is how being around him makes him feel. 

++

“where are you going?” yoonseo asks when yoongi walks out of his bedroom, clutching his shoes. she narrows his eyes and crosses her arms, looking him up and down. yoongi ignores her question and drops his shoes near the door, passing his sister in the kitchen to get a glass of water before he leaves. she moves closer as he gulps down the water, surveying his face. yoongi lifts his eyebrow, placing the empty glass on the edge of the sink. “you shaved.”

yoongi rubs his chin a little, scrunching up his nose. “there wasn’t much to shave anyway,” he says and adjusts his hair in the mirror beside the door, putting his house keys in the pocket of his jacket, then his lighter too. he picks up his shoes again, peering through the doorway that leads into his parents bedroom, spotting his father asleep on the bed. “what’re you doing here, anyway? i thought you were going to your friend's baby shower or something.”

“it got moved to tomorrow,” yoonseo says and shrugs, brushing her hand through her hair. she tilts her head to the side, leaning against the kitchen doorway. “you smell good too. are you going on a date or something?”

when yoongi doesn’t respond, she gasps dramatically and says, “oh wow, i want to know everything that happens when you get home tonight. with who?” 

“doesn’t matter.”

“yes, it obviously does. you cleaned yourself up for them—girl or guy?”

yoongi huffs and mutters, “a guy,” and yoonseo lets out an ooh sound. “it’s just one date, jesus christ. you don’t have to make a big deal out of it.”

yoonseo rolls her eyes and smiles a little, sending a flare of something soothing over yoongi’s anxious heart. “come on, my little brother going on a date for the first time in years? it should be a big deal. it’s not like you’ve been in the dating game much since, like, ever.”

“that’s not true—“

“dating a girl for literally two months five years ago does not count, yoongi.” 

“i had a girlfriend since then!”

yoonseo looks at him with doubt and sips her tea, licking her lips after. “oh yeah, and when was that?”

defeated, yoongi deflates and mutters, “two years ago.”

she sighs and taps her fingers against the mug in her hands. yoonseo smiles again, wider and more genuine. “have fun, okay? enjoy yourself. you deserve it, as much as you think you don’t.”

“just—whatever.” yoongi grumbles and opens the door, shooting yoonseo a glare before shutting it behind him. he tiptoes down the steps and pulls on his shoes at the bottom, tying the laces. he checks his phone to see if jeongguk has texted him, which he hasn’t, so yoongi moves through the restaurant kitchen to get to the front. it’s still a little before their agreed time, and the restaurant is busy since it’s friday night. he’s lucky that his parents have been lenient about when he gets to take time off. 

with five minutes left until seven-thirty, yoongi double checks himself in the restaurant's bathroom mirror, then goes out to the front to wait for jeongguk. and he doesn’t have to wait long, because about a minute later, he’s getting tapped on the shoulder. yoongi turns around and—well, it feels like he can’t breathe all of a sudden.

jeongguk stands before him, wavy black hair pulled back by pretty hair clips, but that’s not really the part that’s stopping yoongi from breathing. he’s wearing make-up, which, there’s nothing wrong with that, but it makes jeongguk look even more beautiful than he already is. his lips are shiny with clear gloss, eyes a dark shade of pink that contrasts well with the white shirt under his jacket. yoongi gulps and doesn’t look lower than jeongguk’s waist, because he certainly won’t survive. 

it takes a second to break the awkward silence, yoongi letting out an anxious laugh before he says, “hi. you look… really nice.” nice, oh my god, why is that all i could come up with?

“thank you,” jeongguk says and smiles a smile that sends yoongi’s insides churning and twisting, uneasiness growing. “you look nice too, hyung.”

yoongi smiles briefly and glances into the window of the restaurant, then nodding towards the sidewalk to they could get away from the prying eyes of his family. “i hope you don’t mind walking a little,” he says and puts his hands in his pockets, clenching and unclenching them. he’s hasn’t felt this nervous since taking his mugshot, and that was seven years ago. “it’s only about fifteen minutes, but i don’t have a car and i would rather not make you take the bus or something.”

jeongguk shoots him a puzzled look. “i take the bus every time i come here,” he says and they start walking, shoulder to shoulder. “i don’t have a problem with it. but the public transportation here is some of the worst i’ve ever seen. you don’t even have subways.”

“yeah, the underground thing doesn’t work well in a state that gets earthquakes,” yoongi replies, stopping at the corner of the street, hitting the crosswalk button with the heel of his palm. “is there a lot of public transportation in korea?”

“we have trains. very fast trains. buses too, but i still think they’re much nicer than the ones here.” jeongguk laughs a little and crosses the street with yoongi, his hands sliding into the pockets of his own jacket. his elbow bumps into yoongi’s from how close they’re standing. “hobi-hyung said public transport in san francisco is a lot of better than here. they have trains there.”

yoongi shrugs. “don’t think i’ve ever been,” he says and glances up at jeongguk, then at the sidewalk in front of them. “how did you meet hobi?”

“oh, i met him at a dance club thingy. i don’t know, it was for korean students at ucla and namjoon-hyung told me i should go, so i did.”

“you seem to really listen to the things that namjoon tells you.”

jeongguk blushes a little, even with his already rosy cheeks, lowering his head a little. “ah, he’s just an admirable person, i think. he’s really smart and cool. so many interesting things he likes to talk about.”

yoongi tries not to feel bothered by it, but it does make him a little pissed off that the guy he’s going on a date with has such an affinity for namjoon. jimin is different because they’ve both known namjoon his whole life, but jeongguk is new to the area. he’s not even from america, and yoongi’ll be damned if he lets namjoon take this blooming relationship away from him. 

he clears his throat and says, “i think namjoon’s always been that way.”

“you say it like it’s a bad thing.”

“i’m just—not very fond of him.” it’s a lie, it’s a big lie because he and namjoon were best friends for years, but the feelings still linger from when yoongi was just a stupid seventeen-year-old. “sorry. i know that’s probably not what you want to hear from your date about your cool new friend.”

but jeongguk doesn’t seem bothered by it, laughing and smiling with his head turned towards yoongi. “don’t worry, hyung. i think you’re cool too.” yoongi blushes and instinctively scratches behind his ear, embarrassed. he doesn’t know how jeongguk is so smooth, or if jeongguk even realizes that some of the lines he pulls make him feel like this. “it’s not like i’m going out on a date with namjoon-hyung now, am i?”

yoongi has to forcefully stop his mouth from breaking into a big smile. “no. i suppose you’re not,” he says softly, stopping again when they reach the next intersection. he lets jeongguk press the button this time, then again a couple of times to hear the automatic voice repeat wait, wait, wait over and over again. 

they fall into a comfortable silence the rest of the walk to the movie theater, where yoongi is victim to jeongguk’s adorable puppy eyes that convince him into buying a big bag of popcorn to share, a soda for jeongguk, and then indulges in a small pack of candy for himself. it’s not like he had much to spend on before, but he’ll have to start cutting down on random online orders if this continues. jeongguk very obviously has a large appetite—yoongi wants to be able to see the smile on his face when he’s around food. 

after getting their popcorn and snacks, they finds their seats in the theater. jeongguk is sitting on yoongi’s right, popping pieces of popcorn into his mouth as he watches the previews attentively. eventually, he leans over and whispers, “i just realized i won’t be able to understand some of the movie because i don’t know english well enough.”

“oh, no, you should be able to. since this theater is korean owned, there’s korean subtitles. i don’t think they do it in other neighborhoods, but i’ve been coming here since i was a kid and there’s always been the korean subtitles.”

jeongguk nods a little. “that’s cool. thanks.” he smiles and tilts the bag of popcorn towards yoongi. he takes a couple and pops the pieces into his mouth, placing his hands back into his lap. 

they go quiet, again, and right when yoongi feels like he should say something, the movie starts, so he decides to just keep his mouth shut. he’s not that interested in the movie, so he takes to watching jeongguk instead. 

it’s hard to see his face in the darkness, but whenever the screen in bright, yoongi gets the chance to admire his side profile. he’s so beautiful that yoongi’s entire body doesn’t know what to do. he feels so nervous around jeongguk, which feels stupid, because he knows by now that jeongguk does have a mutual interest in him. and despite what yoongi told his sister, he really hasn’t been on a date in a year or so.

halfway through the movie, though, jeongguk seems to get bored too. they both burned through the popcorn, and yoongi’s been biting at his dry lips, dying for some chapstick or even just some water. the movie is on some action scene and yoongi turns away to yawn, looking back to catch jeongguk staring at him. he widens his eyes a little, then tries to refocus on the movie.

“hyung,” jeongguk whispers softly into yoongi’s ear, the warmth of his breath fanning over the chill brought by the cold theater. “i know i picked this, but it’s kind of lame, don’t you think?”

yoongi tries not to laugh, at least not loudly. he turns his head and his nose brushes against jeongguk’s, before moving away a little to get some personal space. “do you want to leave?” he asks quietly and jeongguk nods, a somewhat adventurous glint in his eye. 

nodding, yoongi stands and so does jeongguk, whispering apologies as they walk through the row to the exit hand in hand. yoongi’s ears are ringing when they step out of the dark room, throwing their trash away. he goes to let go of jeongguk’s hand, but jeongguk slips his fingers between yoongi’s, so that’s completely out of the question now. he coughs to hide his awkwardness, still biting the peeling skin on his lips. 

“is there something else you want to do?” he asks, mouth twitching to the left as he wracks his brain for something to save this date.

“i want ice cream.” yoongi almost sighs in disappointment from having to pay for something again, but jeongguk says, “don’t worry. i’ll pay. i won’t make you pay for everything. it’s like, a cultural thing for me that the older person pays, but i understand it’s not always practical.”

instead, yoongi just sighs in relief. “thanks,” he says and allows jeongguk to pull him towards the exit of the building. they come out in a little alleyway, and yoongi takes the lead in dragging jeongguk down to the sidewalk again. “is there a certain place you want to go?”

“you’re the one who lives here,” jeongguk says and shifts his palm in yoongi’s grasp, smiling teasingly. “shouldn’t you know all the best date spots?”

“um.” yoongi figures he won’t stop blushing the entire night. he pulls his hand away from jeongguk’s grasp because he knows it’s going to start getting gross and clammy soon from his nerves. “can i admit something, jeongguk?”

they shift to the edge of the sidewalk when a small group of high school friends are walking past. jeongguk nods and furrows his eyebrows, looking concerned all of a sudden. yoongi scuffs his shoe against the pavement, kicking a stray rock towards the curb. “i haven’t… dated anyone in a while. so i’m kind of—not sure what i’m doing, if that makes sense. i like you so far, as a person, and i really want to get to know you more. but i don’t know how to do that.”

“well, i’ve never been in a relationship, so imagine how i feel.” yoongi’s eyes snap up to meet jeongguk’s, scanning his expression. he looks serious, suddenly frowning a little. he leans against the building they’re standing outside of, chewing on his bottom lip for a second. a siren wails in the background of their silence, and yoongi consciously shifts closer. jeongguk is radiating nervous energy, nose twitching. “i’m about to tell you, like, information i probably shouldn’t share until later, bu—“

“you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

jeongguk smiles a little, his eyes watering. “i do. want to tell you, i mean.”

yoongi pauses and presses his lips together, turning over this situation in his mind. it got personal so fast, and he’s not sure if that’s the right direction for them. it’s just the first date after all, but then again, when has he ever let societal rules play into things he does? “let’s get that ice cream first, okay?” he wipes his palms on his jeans and offers his hand as he moves to the center of the sidewalk. “i know a place that’s cute and good. i think you’ll like it.”

hand in hand, they walk another ten minutes to one of jimin’s favorite ice cream spots, the very same one they went to after dinner with taehyung and jeongguk. jeongguk orders himself two scoops and yoongi sticks to a milkshake, then lets jeongguk pay. they sit at the front corner of the shop in a little booth, yoongi quietly sipping on his drink. he’s watching jeongguk, waiting for him to say something first. it weirdly feels like yoongi is sitting in the interrogation room again. 

the feeling dissipates when jeongguk finally says, “i’m gay,” and yoongi just sort of nods, because he already kind of figured that out. they probably wouldn’t be sitting here if jeongguk wasn’t gay, or at least something of the sort. “at home, that’s not a thing. well, it’s a thing, but it’s a very widely unaccepted thing.”

“i’m aware.” yoongi raises his eyebrows a little—he’s really not sure where this conversation is going to go. “i’m a bisexual high school dropout with asian parents and a couple counts of felony on my record. what do you think they said about that?”

“probably… didn’t love it, huh?” jeongguk licks his spoon, leaving it resting between his teeth. his lip gloss is long gone now and yoongi reminds himself to stay focused on the topic at hand. this is about him and jeongguk, not jeongguk’s lips. “i kept it to myself pretty much until i came back from my military service.”

“i forgot that’s a thing.”

“it’s not really a relevant fact to what i’m trying to tell you.”

yoongi laughs quietly, taking a long sip of his milkshake, nodding at jeongguk to continue. jeongguk takes another bite of his ice cream before he does. “i told my parents when i came back from the military. they didn’t, like, disown me, but they weren’t supportive of it either. my mom has come around now, but my dad still has trouble with it.”

“same. my dad’s in denial.” yoongi leans forward on his forearms. “i’m sorry to be blunt, but i’m really lost here—does this have anything to do with us?”

jeongguk leans forward on his forearms too, close enough to press his forehead against yoongi’s. “yes, but you keep interrupting me, which is quite rude if you ask me.”

“i’m american.”

“can you please just let me speak, yoongi-hyung?”

finally, yoongi nods and pulls away, placing his hands in his lap. jeongguk exhales quietly and eats another spoonful of ice cream, then shoves his spoon into the melting scoop. “like i said, i told my parents, and they were still willing enough to let me come to america and study, so there’s that. but in the time that i’ve been back from my service, i got a bunch of tattoos and my ear piercings and stuff. and i went on a few dates, but i think i was stopping myself because i knew i was going to be here for the next four years, hopefully. when i got here, i sort of let loose and explored a little. that was fun and all, but then i met you.”

for some reason, that entire little spiel has yoongi’s ears burning. he really don’t know why he’s getting so flustered by such a little thing, but only focuses on sipping on his milkshake as he waits for jeongguk to continue again. “i really like you,” he states, very loud and proud. yoongi’s entire face has to be flushed at this point. “you—you’re so kind and understanding and appreciative. you listen to everything that i say, and i’ve never really had that in anyone, let alone someone who’s also interested in me. which is crazy because you’re like, twenty-five. but i’m just—i’m scared, hyung. i’ve never really done this before and i’m terrified and i want to talk about it now rather than later to avoid any stupid miscommunication.”

yoongi forces himself to breathe out, overwhelmed from jeongguk’s word vomit. his skin is itching with heat, hands red from how much he’s been wringing them out in his lap. he pulls his hands apart and presses his palms flat on the table, laughing uncomfortably from his inability to really articulate how he feels. and that’s probably what’s always bitten him in the ass when it comes to relationships, and friendships—he doesn’t know how to voice how he feels. he blames it on his parents.

but jeongguk is waiting with the utmost patience and silence, his eyes wide and frenzied, but calmly eating his ice cream at his own pace. eventually, the anxiety slips from his gaze, sighing as he eats his dessert, only remembering where he is upon finishing. he smiles sheepishly and apologizes, returning to nervously waiting for yoongi to say something. he props his chin in one hand, eyes wandering around the shop, then occasionally back to yoongi.

eventually, yoongi just blurts out, “i’m scared too,” and ducks his head, scratching behind his ear so he doesn’t have to actually look into jeongguk’s eyes. “i’m not good at talking about feelings. seriously, ask jimin, i’m awful at it. it’s really why all my relationships fail, whether it’s with a friend or anyone of the sort.” he sighs and wipes some condensation off his milkshake cup as a distraction. “and i really like you too, while we’re at it. you have so many interests and so much passion for each one, and i can tell that you have a big love for the world around you. you’re really cute, too, and i’ve never met anyone like you before. i’ve never wanted to be with someone this bad.”

when yoongi meets his eyes, jeongguk’s eyes have lit up beautifully, just twinkling stars that shine over yoongi as his own little spotlight. “really?” he asks softly, brushing back some hair that had fallen out of his clips. “you feel that way about me?”

“how could i not,” yoongi answers with ease, and his hand slips into jeongguk’s when he brings it closer. “you’re just… you’re amazing. you had me intrigued since i first saw you.”

“ah, hyung…” jeongguk hides his face with his other hand, then peeks through his fingers. “that’s so embarrassing.”

boldly, yoongi reaches over the table with his free hand and pulls jeongguk’s hand away from his face. they’re both smiling, probably looking like idiots, but he can hardly bring himself to care. now they’re just holding hands from across the table, the only ones in this ice cream shop anyway, unsure of the next step. yoongi dares to be the one to ask, “so we like each other. now what?”

“isn’t going on another date the logical thing to do?”

“and… if we’re not being logical?”

jeongguk leans on his elbows, lifting yoongi’s hands as he raises his own. he gently kisses the backs of both yoongi’s hand, lips so soft as they brush against yoongi’s skin, then smiles a little. “then… we go on another date, only i also get to call you my boyfriend.”

yoongi scrunches up his nose. “i don’t think i like the way it sounds in korean.”

“okay, then, i’ll call you my boyfriend. and you can call me your boy-friend.”

“no, no. it’s like boyfriend. one word,” yoongi says in english to explain it. 

jeongguk rolls his eyes, but his smile doesn’t waver. “whatever. boyfriend, boy-friend. it's all the same to me. will you say yes?”

“yes, jeongguk. i’ll be your boyfriend.”

++

yoongi keeps his relationship with jeongguk a secret from everyone, jimin included. he just wants to be able to enjoy and explore their boundaries for himself instead of having everyone so invested in his life. sure, he's never really had a steady relationship before, but for once, he wants to make things work out between him and the person he’s seeing. he really likes jeongguk, and that was reason enough to agree to be his boyfriend. 

the thing is, nothing has really changed. sometimes they hold hands when they go out and jeongguk will always kiss yoongi’s cheek at the end of a date, but that’s sort of it. they’ve done a few different dates now—another dinner one, a trip to the bowling alley and arcade that showed off both their competitive sides, an afternoon at the park before one of jeongguk’s classes. it’s hard to get the time off to spend with jeongguk, but he often pops by for some food anyway. no one’s caught onto their looks from across the restaurant.

the biggest thing, though, and what bothers yoongi the most is that they haven’t kissed yet. he wants to kiss jeongguk so badly, has never felt that desire so deeply for anyone else. and it’s been a couple of weeks since they agreed to be exclusive, but jeongguk hasn’t shown much indication for wanting that. yoongi wants to ask about it, but he’s scared that maybe it’s something jeongguk doesn’t want. he grows impatient though, and decides that he’ll ask jeongguk when he sees him next.

to keep his little secret, yoongi lies to his parents about where he’ll be for the first time in a very long time. he knows he doesn’t really owe them an explanation when he’s twenty-five, but he lives with them, so he figures they deserve a little bit of something. all he says is that he’ll be out late with kabir and alex, who he doesn’t actually see more than once a month, but they don’t know that. what they don’t know won’t hurt them, at least for now.

he tells this much to jimin too when he asks to go out for pre-birthday drinks after the restaurant closes on thursday night. jimin isn’t really fond of yoongi’s high school friends because he feels left out around them, so he doesn’t push about changing his plans or tagging along. yoongi makes it to jeongguk’s apartment building in one piece, and feels just a little guilty about lying to so many people he cares about, but he likes the space he’s getting from it.

yoongi uses the stairs because jeongguk said the elevator is out of order, and enters on the third floor, looking at the small directory of numbers to guide himself to the right unit. he double checks his phone to make sure he’s standing in front of the right door, then knocks lightly, stepping back. he kicks the doormat into place and crosses his arms, waiting quietly. 

luckily it’s jeongguk who opens the door, breathless and smiling. “hi,” he says and yoongi just waves a little, sliding past jeongguk’s body when he opens the door wider. “i ordered the pizza a while ago, so it should be here in, like, fifteen minutes.”

“that’s fine,” yoongi says softly, kneeling to untie his shoes, placing them beside the ones he knows are jeongguk’s. he stands again and lets his eyes wander around the expanse of the apartment, the living room space and small kitchen, then one open door on the left, another shut one on the right. there’s not much decoration, yoongi didn’t really expect there to be, but it’s still cute. there’s a candle burning on the coffee table when yoongi inches deeper. “roommate home?”

jeongguk nods and pulls his arms through a hoodie, flat hair sticking out from the hood. yoongi reaches up to tuck it back gently. "i told him i invited someone over, so he probably won’t bother us.”

“how’d you end up with a roommate like him, anyway?” yoongi asks, following jeongguk into the kitchen, accepting the bottle of beer he’s handed. he uses the bottle opener stuck to the fridge as a magnet, then does jeongguk’s bottle too. “if the situation is as bad as you make it to be, then you should look for another place.”

“i would, but i have to pay rent for at least a year, so. well, my parents are paying the rent, so i don’t want to waste their money.” jeongguk boosts himself up to sit on the counter, rubbing his socked feet together. yoongi leans against the counter opposite to him, taking a longer sip of his beer. “i’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me either, so we keep to ourselves. we haven’t really had any problems in a couple of weeks. he tried to take my alcohol after my birthday, but i know he’s underage, so i keep most of it in my room now.”

yoongi lifts his eyebrows a little and laughs, shaking his head. “sounds like this kid is a bit of a pain,” he says and drinks some of his beer, looking up at jeongguk’s soft smile. that uneasiness he always feels around jeongguk returns. “what’re we watching?”

“uh…”

“have you not decided?” jeongguk shrugs, but he’s blushing, and yoongi knows by now that he’s just embarrassed. yoongi sets down his bottle and runs his hand through his hair. “come on, tell me. what’re we watching?”

jeongguk scratches behind his ear and mumbles, “iron man.”

“right. i forgot you’re a nerd.”

jeongguk looks visibly flustered and stammers for a couple of seconds, then resorts to drinking his beer. “there’s nothing wrong with that…” he says quietly, fiddling with his earring, picking at the dry skin on his lips with his teeth. it doesn’t help the whole thing where yoongi hasn’t kissed him yet—and really, this would be the perfect opportunity to ask, but he feels afraid, even still. yoongi wonders where his determination from earlier went. "how was work?"

"long. boring. mini was kind of annoying today," says yoongi, clicking his rings against the bottle when he picks it up again. "but it's fine. i see him daily and he's like my little brother, so we're bound to get annoyed with each other. there are times when i'm on his nerves too." he sighs, then laughs, taking a deep breath. "whatever. i'm just happy to see you now, i guess."

jeongguk drops his chin to his chest, blushing madly with a shy smile. "i'm happy to see you too," he says quietly and yoongi lowers his own chin a little, feeling embarrassed that he even said that. then jeongguk's smile turns into something teasing. "i mean, i guess i am."

"shut up." yoongi can feel his entire face burning by instinct, even if he’s willing it to stop. 

a look passes over jeongguk's expression and he slides off the counter, moving into yoongi's space. it's cliché, it's so cliché, but yoongi's brain starts working overtime when jeongguk whispers, "make me."

he doesn't know if that's invitation to kiss him, but yoongi grabs at whatever straws he can. he finds a grip on the collar of jeongguk's hoodie and drags him into a kiss. 

it's just a peck, but yoongi hasn't kissed anyone in so long that it feels like a lot more than that. his nose bumps into jeongguk's when their lips part, though they hover near each other. jeongguk's slow breaths hit yoongi's chin for a couple of seconds, before he takes initiative in kissing yoongi again. 

yoongi braces his hips against the counter and loosens his hold on jeongguk's hoodie, instead letting his palms wander down to his waist. he opens his mouth, just a little, letting jeongguk kiss him that much harder. it's incomparable to what yoongi had conjured up in his mind. it's more surreal than anything, but he hopes that he'll be able to get used to the feeling of kissing jeongguk. 

when jeongguk pulls away again, he laughs something breathy, planting one last peck on yoongi's top lip. "that was overdue," he mutters and yoongi nods in agreement, then kisses the corner of jeongguk's mouth. "you taste like cigarettes."

"wonder why," yoongi replies, rolling his eyes a little teasingly. he shifts and feels the counter dig into his back, but jeongguk kind of has him effectively pinned against it. "um... do you mind if we like, move somewhere comfortable?"

"oh. oh yeah, sure." jeongguk moves away and grabs an extra bottle from the fridge, and the bottle opener, carrying it to the couch. he sets it on the coffee table and yoongi trails after, placing his half-empty bottle beside them. he joins jeongguk on the couch, hesitantly wrapping his ankle around jeongguk's before digging his phone out of his pocket. "hold on. pizza's here. can i go grab it?"

yoongi waves his hand in the air, making a shooing motion. "go, go. i can easily figure out how to put the movie on in the meantime," he says and jeongguk laughs, putting on his slippers and grabbing his wallet on the way out. 

yoongi finds the tv remote and switches it on, finding the movie easily before replacing the remote on the coffee table. he waits while on his phone, responding to a text message from jimin about being bored, then idly scrolls through instagram. he picks up his beer bottle, furrowing his eyebrows a little when the front door is already opening in his peripherals.

"that was fast, did the elevators start working again?" yoongi asks and when he lifts his eyes, he's never started sweating so fast. 

maybe yoongi's luck just loves to fuck with him because it's namjoon standing there, tall and tan skin, dressed in comfortable clothes and round glasses perched on his nose. it sends some kind of shock through yoongi's mind because it's been so long that he's seen namjoon with his own eyes, that for a second he feels disbelief. sometimes he sees pictures that jimin posts, but even then, his face isn't usually showing. yoongi grinds his teeth together. 

"what the fuck are you doing here," yoongi snaps, clenching his fists and standing defensively. 

"calm down." namjoon scoffs a little, setting a gym bag down on the floor. "i'm just returning something. i told jeongguk i would come by really briefly and he said it was fine."

yoongi can't stop himself from rolling his eyes, with much more malice than he did earlier with jeongguk. "okay, you can fucking go now," he practically spits, feeling nothing but absolute anger burning inside his chest. 

namjoon crosses his arms and steps closer, and yoongi realizes that if they got into a fight now, then he'd lose dramatically. he takes a wary step back at the sight of the muscles battling against the sleeves of his shirt. "you should at least be thanking me," he says, bitter tone that yoongi only recalls namjoon using when they had their last dispute. "add meeting jeongguk to list of good things i've fucking done for you."

"wow. how full of yourself."

"at least i'm not a liar." 

"fuck you," he says at the very moment the door opens again. 

"oh,” jeongguk says, but yoongi can’t see him because namjoon is blocking his figure. “oh my god, hyung, you were gonna drop it off today? i thought you would come by in the morning.” 

namjoon turns around from facing yoongi, still blocking him from seeing his own boyfriend. "yeah, sorry. should have texted again to double check. i'll get going. i think all your stuff is in there," he says and walks back towards the door. jeongguk is holding the pizza box with both arms, wide eyes trained on namjoon. yoongi keeps his own gaze on jeongguk so he doesn't explode with anger. 

the two exchange quiet goodbyes and jeongguk looks uneasy, though it doesn't fade even when namjoon leaves. yoongi drops back onto the couch and tosses his phone to the side, catching his face in his palms. his ears are ringing, but he still hears jeongguk's quiet footsteps, hears him place the box on the coffee table, then sit down beside him. yoongi shifts away when jeongguk touches his shoulders. 

the overwhelming feeling of hatred has fizzled into regret, settling like a cage around yoongi's heart. jeongguk doesn't even know what mistakes yoongi has made in his lifetime, or why he's on such bad terms with namjoon. yoongi half expects jeongguk to ask him about it, but he simply ends up wrapping him into a tight hug. yoongi shrinks into his chest, slowing his breathing, and murmurs, "thank you," against his neck. 

jeongguk only gives him one last squeeze before pulling away, then opens the box of pizza silently. he presses play on the movie once they get situated, and while jeongguk actually watches the film, yoongi finds himself distracted instead. he can't get this sinking feeling out of his mind after seeing namjoon again after so many years. seeing how he changed. yoongi starts to recall the tipping point argument that caused all of this to happen. 

it should be a vague memory with how long ago it happened, but it's been unwillingly seared into yoongi's mind. they already had a series of arguments before yoongi made the decision to drop out of school, but then he actually did it. namjoon was furious at him for making what he called a baseless and idiotic decision, but yoongi was convinced he didn't know what he was talking about. 

late afternoon, their high school parking lot, and seventeen-year-old yoongi was smoking with the people he thought were his friends. also seventeen-year-old namjoon, who was lanky and not as muscular as he so clearly is now, was waiting by himself near the curb. yoongi didn't notice him at first, but they made eye contact, and yoongi immediately knew he fucked up to some degree. namjoon looked mad and he was walking over to them. 

he spoke in korean when he arrived to where yoongi was sitting on the trunk of someone's car. “does mini know you're here?" he asked and eyed the cigarette between yoongi's fingers. "or did you lie to him too?"

"lie?" yoongi asked and lifted his eyebrows. he scoffs and dropped to his feet, standing up tall. he thinks himself an idiot now, trying to seem tough when he wasn't. "it's just omitting the truth, joonie."

namjoon's frown deepened. "that's not much better," he said and plucked the cigarette out of his hands, stepping on it. yoongi felt pissed off, pushing back on namjoon's chest. they had argued about smoking and jimin before, about yoongi's supposed friends, about their own friendship. namjoon scoffed and glared, hard. “you're a hypocrite. you hate this shit. i don't even know who you are anymore."

"why should i care?"

a flash of hurt stretched over namjoon's expression before steeling himself again. "because you're my friend."

the words that caused this whole thing—oh, yoongi wishes he could take them back. "i'm not your friend," he said in english, loud and clear for everyone around them to hear. it was so ridiculous, he can't even remember any of their names. clearly his friendships with them never mattered in the first place. yoongi was trying to fit into a place he never belonged.

it earned him a well-deserved punch to the jaw. yoongi punched back because that was all he knew how to do. he only got a secondary punch in before namjoon's father arrived, and that certainly didn't help in trying to make up after that. not that yoongi really tried. 

jimin cried a lot after finding out and he told yoongi he wouldn't choose sides, and that he would stay friends with both of them. not long after that, yoongi got arrested, so it seemingly wasn't hard to balance their friendships through visiting hours. 

and after he got out, namjoon just wouldn't come around anymore, so yoongi never wanted to reach out. yoonseo would bring up the times he had come to lend an extra hand, until jimin told her to stop and she did. then she moved two hours away, and yoongi spent most of his time with jimin and the friends he made when he was in middle school. it took several months for his parents to speak to him, let alone look him in the eye. yoongi has healed with everyone but namjoon.

now, yoongi wonders if it's time to just fucking move on. being bitter and having hatred for namjoon is exhausting. namjoon is a good person, who really has done so much for yoongi, though that comment about jeongguk was uncalled for. yoongi is tired of it—and he knows that jimin must be exhausted by it too. the last thing he wants is for jeongguk to get caught up in their years old feud too. 

they're both grown adults now, and yoongi thinks he might just take that leap of faith in fixing the problems he's caused.